Your children's sleep (1947)

if you never hear the church clock chiming the small hours it doesn't seem to matter what sleep really is but if you do there's a reason for it and there's always a reason why one child will usually sleep well and another wound what's the most obvious cause of lying awake hour after hour pain serious illness yes or even indigestion and certainly aches of one kind or another and then there's insomnia here we are bed lamp burning book in hand no sleeps come at last very restless the kind you hardly realize you've had not deep enough to make you feel refreshed in the morning but still rest of a kind if that lorry always went by just after 4:00 a.m. this probably wouldn't have happened because it's unfamiliar noises that wake us but it isn't only noise or discomfort that keeps a person awake twisting and turning and staring at the ceiling mrs. Parkins has lost her handbag when she went to bring it out to the bedroom for safety last thing as she always does it wasn't there it wasn't in the house so instead of settling down comfortably she had to worry means going out first thing getting all behind with the housework I did have it coming out of Riggs and must have had it there now let me think coming out of Riggs did I go anywhere else did I go to the post office afterwards or did I the bascule that's about it and the basket on my arm would easily have got jolted out that means phoning the lost property and then the police where he is like a great dark shape which thrusts itself forward in the mind making sleep impossible a bright shape can have the same result Tom Meredith wants to be a professional footballer one of the spurs talent scouts was watching yesterday when tom played a very good game on the wing playing a game mentally uses energy the excitement has certainly kept him awake and when he does sleep he'll sleep more deeply but he won't want to get up in the morning mrs. Parkins worry is also tiring she knows that if only she could make up her mind to turn her thoughts to pleasant of things she would soon drop off and in the morning her trouble wouldn't seem quite so bad a child doesn't realize this children have far more worries and excitements than mrs. Parkinson Tom Meredith but they can't just accept the fact that they do need sleep so they often find it difficult to settle down yet sleep is tremendously important for them a baby often sleeps as much as 20 hours a day and all young children should pass half their lives like this well as we of course only spend a third of our lives in bed what happens to a child during this half of life growth and renewal of energy of course rest and grow strong don't they say but just as important mental developments part of the sleeping mind is very active look Billy fireman Billy may not remember this dream when he wakes up but that doesn't matter it's helping him subconsciously to relate one thing to another actuality to make believe one affect to another this kind of thing happens every night to all children they sleep in countless different positions one will hardly move at all another will get the bedclothes all tangled out some like to be tucked in tight and snug others want to bedclothes loose most children like sleep it's natural that they should and on the whole they mostly sleep without much trouble but it is a very individual matter Tara's parents know that he sleeps like a log whereas Monika is always restless and there's no need to worry about either of them a change is the thing to watch for here's a child who suddenly taken to waking up in the night she needs a lot of bedtime story before she'll go to sleep at all and though her mother thought she belong outgrown a nightlight she cried for one what is the travel not noise not discomfort not strange surroundings messing her mother can see where he doesn't often show very clearly in a child's face behavior like Maja's though is a pretty sure sign her present trouble began when she moved up into a new class she'd got used to a teacher who seemed very kind and gentle the new teacher seems much more critical and severe she may not be really but Madge thinks she is lessons are harder and the difficult ones dragged on for such a long time nothing unusual in this but marriage is a sensitive child this worry is always in the background of her mind and surges forward whenever she gets bad marks the immediate cause of tonight's travel was an unlucky incident last Monday what are their names come on you know who they are Jackie and Richard and maybe some Harry what are their other names Collins yes and brass Collins and price and who were they why did you tell lies mommy if somebody knew somebody's names but not where they lived could they find out yes dear kostik could a simple answer to a simple question not to match oh that awful feeling of dismay and fear nothing has really happened since that unlucky day except in Maja's mind can't dropped a match can't be friends with a snake she must be mad all this is a bit mixed up with school worries and now that Madge has at last dropped into a really deep sleep her mind has an enormous amount of sorting out to do it's going to be very difficult to get her up in time tomorrow morning nothing much wrong with him but there is you know he's pale and heavy eyed not getting enough sleep keeping on-the-go with a desperate energy but heading for some sort of illness if he goes on robbing himself of rest all this make-believe is a substitute for the real exploits he feels he wants to achieve and when you suggest bade it's a case of all dressed up and nowhere to go he revolts at the very notion whatever the particular cause of the excitement many children do at times struggle to keep away from Dowell Drury prison night bed one way to make bed seem more inviting is to read a story he may or may not take to the idea immediately you can't make the child go to sleep and you can't force him to listen but with your own child this isn't really difficult you know what he likes and how to hold his attention he's depending very much on his mother's help in crossing the threshold into sleep alone he wouldn't like it but with a familiar story and a familiar toy as companion he calms down and feels happy about it sleep is a gentle thing the very idea of going to bed should be broken gently he'll probably wake early eager to be on with his adventures so when you come to have a last look at him it's an excellent idea to bring one of his toys already for the morning when it will help him emerge from sleep into the real world again Claire is another child who takes a long time getting to sleep remember we are deliberately looking for problems she sometimes wakes up screaming and once or twice lately has whetted the bed Claire's mother's the trouble here well Jay how are you well thank you do you think she looks a little tired I suppose she has to work very hard mmm we just can't stop her and so clever you know I'm so great at Billy I did admire your needlework Claire well everything has to be just so Claire chose their bracelet she has good taste hasn't she poor kid what a very subtle form of torture and of course quite unintentional it's just mother mother mother all the time swamp in the child setting her impossible standards impossible because they're adult and Claire is a child and no misguided notions of perfection can make her grow up before her time look at Claire's bedroom was nothing of Claire in it this is just mother's idea of the perfect child's room it's also right player hardly dares to touch anything what a strain it is trying to please mother all the time when she grows up is she going to want her mother to choose window curtains for her or will there be a revolt will she go her own way in the end get her own back by deliberately shocking her domineering old-fashioned mother whatever happens the conflict is in her mind now and it's the cause of her nightmares and fears this is one of her bad nightmares being lost in a desert utterly alone and then all is the same thing running running knowing what always happens but never stopping in time whatever is the matter there's nothing to be afraid of the matter is that all her life claire has been pushed forward by her mother never finding her own feet never feeling the ground solid beneath her her father hasn't had a look in she's been compelled to be utterly dependent on her mother and in her dreams mother isn't there to hold her out the old teddy who used to be so comforting at bedtime has been thrown away because teddy bears a childish well Claire is still a child a worried frightened child but it isn't the dreams which cause such terrors it's well the way things are in her home if we pretend for a moment that what goes on in the mind is a kind of game we can imagine that black shapes are trying to thrust themselves forward and make us anxious or depressed and that we counter these fears and worries by moving little protective shapes in other words by reasoning there check but sometimes reason or common sense fails and a black shape does get right through this happened last night to mrs. Perkins but now she's dealing with her problem we usually can deal with our worries because as it were we know the moves and know we can make them but now come down to the child's level the same game but how different it seems a child has to learn the moves without being able to see them clearly and until she can move the protective shapes properly the black is always threatening if only the child could get a really good look at these emotions and ideas she doesn't realize it but she can during the half of her life that is sleep her mind does see more of the game that's why sleep is so much more important than to her parents because for the child it's a vital continuation of waking life not just a blank interval but how about the child who worries in bed and doesn't sleep well she feels she dare not leaves the board but must keep on struggling to move those protective shapes if she relaxes an awful fear will sweep forward and never move back a sensitive child dreads being laughed at and keeps her fears to herself you seldom know exactly what's wrong nevertheless you can do a great deal to help simply by reassuring her making her feel that well we all have our worries but we get the better of them in the end making her feel that you'll always be there to help when she needs you it will take time for her fears to die down and during that time you should try to shield her from fresh worries or excitements knowing now that she isn't going to be laughed at or scolded for being silly the child is relaxing into sleep confident as it were that her parents will always come to the rescue when the game gets the better of her you can never make her child go to sleep he has to like the idea but now one morning whatever was this at 7 o'clock no little red engine mrs. ransoms Harry barked bow-wow-wow it's never been late before so is he going to drop off quickly this depends a lot on how he was prepared for bed on whether his bedtime routine was what he's always been used to it depends also on whether his mother had the time and patience to avoid jerking him away from his toys to lead him firmly yet gently away from the day towards the night polish didn't stoke didn't got up steam 20 took the brakes off Shh side the little red engine and didn't move the driver tried again choo-choo-choo side the little red engine side the little red engine and didn't move