You and Your Parents (1950)

well hello dick Mr Martin come in here I'll take your coat no I'm not staying I'm I'm leaving town and I just wanted to say goodbye I've I've enjoyed being in your Club yes we do have some good time don't we yeah I'm going to miss it oh you have a job somewhere no not exactly but I can get one I can take care of myself I see well then you'll want a bite to eat before you go uh how about a piece of cake huh Louise just Bak one today well I'll be just a minute turn on the light in there will you dick all right here we are that ought to taste good it will thanks aren't you no no no that's all right is everything all right why Richard Robertson what brings you here this time of night I uh Louise fix up the guest room will you dear Dick's going to spend the night with us no I now that's all right don't you worry no trouble at all but but I I guess I might as well stay tonight but I'm not going home well we'll talk it all over in the morning yeah Mr Martin yes what's wrong with getting home after midnight well that depends dad's always harping on that what time you're coming home don't stay out too late if I'm a little bit late wow did you have an argument with your dad tonight yeah it's late hours this time but there's always something they're always fussing over me choosing my clothes for me trying to pick my friends for me they don't let you do what the other fellows do they won't let you take the car alone they plan your time for you yeah how did you know we all go through the same problems you're beginning to rebel against parental Authority but tell me what happened tonight well Mr Martin I just didn't even think about what time it was how was I to know they were going to be waiting up for me anyway it was just a little after midnight what's so bad about that Dad giving me this lecture about making mother worse and how I was being unfair to them so after they went to bed I packed my suitcase and well here I am do your folks know you've gone I think so their bedroom light went on as I was leaving the house do you think they heard you go out I guess so Mr Martin may I go to bed now I'm tired why of course oh here uh you'll want this yes thanks Elise is everything ready up there yes all ready I go on up dick she'll show you the room thanks hello just a moment it's his Club leader Mr Martin yes what is it is it about dick well yes I thought you'd want to know Dick's here at our home well I uh now don't worry you'll let us keep him here tonight and then I can have a talk with him in the morning yes I believe he'll want to come home then well I all right I yes thanks I I appreciate your help or maybe you can do something with him we'll see goodbye well good morning dick I didn't expect to see you up so early no I didn't sleep very well worrying I guess Mr Martin it was just plain silly what I did last night running away like a little kid but sometimes I get fed up they don't see things the way I do they don't seem to realize I've grown up mhm that's the hardest thing for parents to understand yeah you mean that all parents are like that well all of us parents have the same problem the same Readjustment to make I went through that adjustment with my son and daughter I expect my folks had the same sort of problem with me you see we parents get in the habit of exercising a lot of authority and we just don't know when we can safely let go of our youngsters your parents have been controlling you looking after you for quite a few years haven't they yeah I guess that's right so isn't it about time they quit perhaps but not all at once now let's look at it this way a tiny infant such as we all were at one time needs almost constant care you've seen mothers looking after their babies believe me it's a lot of work a baby needs control guidance a play pin to keep it out of trouble even when they're old enough to go to school children still need a great deal of Prof protection guidance and Care from their parents and parents get in the habit of exercising Authority the children keep on growing and learning quite a bit but they're still really children they still need parental control then within a space of a year or two changes take place you know Johnny Miller don't you sure remember him a couple of years ago just a boy and now in two years what a difference his voice has changed he's grown several inches he's beginning to shave last year's clothes don't fit him anymore neither does last year's Behavior well you went through much the same change so perhaps you weren't so aware of it in yourself as in others now the point is that each of us rather suddenly discovers that he has pretty well grown up physically and we assume right away that we're adults able to look out for ourselves that's the way I felt last night but there really are a lot of things that I ought to decide for myself such as what time to come in evenings remember dick your parents are in the habit of thinking you need control they have to be reassured besides don't they keep their appointments with you sure they do well shouldn't you keep your appointments with them you mean I'll have to prove that I can come home on time that I can't be responsible for the time I come in yes and for your behavior while you're out listen zck your parents have been around from their own experience they've learned about a lot of things that you just haven't come up against yet sometimes their reasons may not be entirely clear to you but their good reasons just the same I think I see what you mean it's sort of the same way I try to guide my kid Sister sometimes why just the other day she almost got herself into trouble climbing on the back of a chair to change a light bulb and when I stopped her she didn't like it one bit thought I was interfering but I only wanted to protect her well if that's the way my parents feel about me I think I get the idea that's about the way they do feel and your folks are still of some use to you aren't they I'll bet your mother is fixing breakfast right now yeah breakfast come and talk to me whenever you like son let me know how everything's going huh yeah well thanks a lot Mr Martin I'll be seeing you all right well goodbye son Goodbye Mr Martin goodbye well dick didn't run away from home after all he went back home to face his problem squarely and to solve that problem the problem of growing up and behaving as an adult I telephone Dick's father to explain the situation and in the next few weeks dick and his parents came to a new understanding of each other in the matter of hours for example dick Faithfully met his parents' requests until they were accustomed to the idea of his coming home on time then one Saturday evening dick spoke up like this uh mother dad the gang and I are invited over to Frankie after the show so I'll be just a little late tonight but I'll be home by 11:30 at the latest well that'll be fine son good night dick was gradually showing that he could assume responsibility for his own conduct because he behaved in a responsible manner naturally his parents began to consult with dick giving him a more adult place in the family for example dick and his dad worked together over Dick's plans for college although previously Dick's dad had simply given instructions and in this way Dick's relationship with his parents changed he was no longer a child controlled completely by his parents he was becoming more of an adult with the place of an adult in the family dick is growing away from the author of his parents and learning to discipline himself he's becoming self-responsible and we all must learn to do the same whether this Readjustment is painful or happy depends on how we approach it