Willie Howard, Sam Madoff and his Orch. - Getting an Eyeful (September 22, 1941) COMEDY SOUNDIE

Come in. Is the eye doctor in? >> Well, of course I'm here. Can you see me? >> Listen, if I could see, I wouldn't be here. >> I see. Well, you're lucky. This morning I broke my glasses and the only thing I can see is what I hear. >> Well, how do things that you don't see appear to you? >> How do things I don't see appear to me? >> I mean, for example, uh, how do I look to you? >> Terrible. You should have your face listed. >> Have a seat. >> No thanks. I just had myself. Sit down. >> That's it. Now, open your mouth. >> Open your mouth. >> It's my eyes. >> Open your mouth. >> Ah. >> Wider. Ah. >> Wider. >> Ah. >> Why did you have your appendage out? Don't tell me you can look down that far. >> No, you can't hide anything from me. >> Oh, yes I can. >> No, you can. >> Yes, I can. >> No, you can't. Now, hold still for just a minute while I put a drop of arger on your eye. Just one minute now. WE'LL HAVE YOU ALL PICTURED. >> OH, MY EYE. >> WHAT'S THE MATTER? Your eyes. >> That's funny. >> WHAT DOES THAT label read? >> Why ask me? WHY DON'T YOU READ it yourself? >> I don't see very good. >> You can't see very good and you're going to fix my eye. I'm getting. >> No, no, no. Wait just a minute. What does this label read? I O D. Iodine. >> Oh, well. Well, of course. You know, Ardol doesn't burn the eye, but iodine does. >> You're telling me. >> We'll fix you up in just a minute. A little water absorbent cotton here. >> I'll just hold that over your eye for just one minute. Oh, an eye patch. We'll have you fixed up in just a second. >> Now, how's that? >> Yeah, there I am with one eye. I've got to put some larger oil in your other eye. >> In the pig's eye, you will. I >> No, in yours. And this time it won't be iodine. >> No. No. Now, what are you worrying about? Here, you hold the iodine. >> Well, that's much better. I'll hold on to that, >> Miss Wilson. Now, just lean back a little and we'll have you fixed up in just a moment. Now, there you are. >> What's the matter now? What's the matter? >> Iodine. >> Iodine? Why? That isn't iodine. Uh, Miss Wilson, what is this? >> Oh, I'm terribly sorry. This is horse. Awesome. And I'm getting >> No, no, no. We'll fix you up in just a moment. Now, if you will just be quiet for a moment while I put this pad absorbent cotton there and then another eye patch on like this. Now, hold still. There you are. >> Yeah. All I need now is a sign and the tin cup with some blood pencils. >> Now, wait. I haven't finished with you yet. >> Well, I'm finished with you. I got to get out of here. Both eyes blacked out and I got to go to work tonight. >> Work? What do you do for a living? >> I'm a crystal gazer.