UPN WWOR-TV Promo Reel 1996 - Fall Shows

Hey y'all, WHAT'S UP? NEW YORK LOVES LAUGHS AND I CANNOT LIE. UPN [music] 9 GOT THEM AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY. I love it. If it's going to be Cheek to Cheek, YOU SEE EVERY NIGHT WE'RE ON THE BEAT. IT'S A BACK-TO-BACK [music] THING. Comedy all in a row. >> YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO VIEW IT, NO IFS, ANDS, or buts to it. CHECK IT OUT. >> BABY GOT BACK. I'M BACK. [screaming] WILLIE'S IN THE HOUSE. HIDE THE SILVERWARE. SUCCESS, a nice family, and this house. And why? Because you were determined to BE NOTHING LIKE ME. YOU CAN'T be my landlord. My landlord's name is Marion. I'm Marion. You have a very nice chest. So do you. So why in the world does she want to work for us then? Look, I think we were lucky to get her. There's a woman cupboard outside? Darling, you're late. BUT I LEFT a message. >> Well, don't be defensive. I'm happy you're here. You want her for yourself, don't you? Don't be ridiculous. Oh, I can tell the way you look at her. If you were a dog, YOU'D BE LIKE THIS. STOP. YOU BROKE MY TV. OH MAN, WHY is [music] it always about you? I could have been electrocuted. You ever noticed that Fred Sanford's theme song never had no words to it? Fred Sanford Fred Sanford had a son and a truck. I got my eye on that one. Quick, big laughs here and there every night. Big circle, triangle, square. It's a back-to-back fight. Captain Morris, they've got lasers and photon torpedoes. Oh man, we're going to die. We're going to die. Well, I'll never get to make love to one of those eight-breasted women on Fish 'n A Five. >> [laughter] >> YOU NEVER DID THAT? NO. OH MAN, YOU GOT TO DO THAT. >> [laughter] >> WE'RE going to save your ass and make sure WE DO THAT. I GOT IT, GIRL. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. >> That's my baby. So what's up? You are not going to get a job looking like that. You look like a gangster Urkel. You'll be jamming, I'll be slamming. So exciting. >> [laughter] [music] >> Back off. That's better. Meet Detective James Ellison. As his partner, I can tell you that he is no ordinary cop. You're a human crime lab with organic surveillance equipment. >> But there's one thing he doesn't have. Hey, stool fatty. Relax. A sense of humor. I heard that, shorty. What in the name of heaven is that? He's burning up. He should be dead. Matthews is infected out there and probably Haley. And they have the Ebola. Nothing can stop us, doctor. Nothing. Captain? True alert. All hands, brace for impact. Initiate self-destruct sequence. Go, go, go. Fire. >> Fire. Fire. You're coming with us. That's a wrap, folks. Got you. >> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> What are you looking at? I'm not getting racy. I've been racy. I'm an artist and this is how I choose to express myself. Can you believe I have to do this every night? Strike a pose. I now work undercover. You look like Gumby. >> [music] >> The new American dream. >> Strike a pose. I need some new jack cops to take down a new jack gangster. You better dial 911. Oh. Oh. Yes. Yes. OH, YES. YES. YES. OH. I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S HAVING. He's bad. He's beautiful. He's crazy. Dying time's here. This wasn't part of the deal. I'm not disturbing you, am I? I got a situation. I'm about to re-kill. Okay. When the clock strikes 10, where do you go to check the pulse of the city? Till they find those black boxes, we're bound [music] to have so many questions. The massive explosion that shattered the calm of a summer sunset on Long Island. >> This is a fire exit? How is anybody going to get out? This is illegal. >> There are fewer than 2,000 of them getting killed [music] at a rate of three a year. >> More Americans carried guns, it might actually save lives. Child births are being turned into drive-by [music] deliveries. For some guys, they can't deal with the pressure of playing in the Big Apple. >> The reporters of UPN [music] 9 News, we've got it covered. And in September, get an hour of [music] news designed for daytime audiences. Introducing News Scope. >> [music] [music] [music] >> Come on out and strut your stuff. >> [music] >> You stole my heart. That was beautiful. Hi, welcome to Scoop. I watch you every morning. You were born for greatness. Okay. [music] Wearing a classic Armani suit, perfect for evening attire. Ladies and gentlemen, Kato Kaelin. [music] But you told me that we were going to dump Sam and that it was going to be you and I think it's cutting edge. Hey, Dana. Hey, Cody. One, two, three, four. >> [music] [music] >> All right, Judge Judy Sheindlin. Did you witness [music] the assault? You sound as if you're the victim. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I've heard enough. You actually hit your [music] mother. >> Yes, I do. You freely admit you are a mooch. I guess so. THE WHEEL OF TORTURE. I LOVE YOU. WHERE DO THEY FIND THESE PEOPLE? I'm here because [music] I need help. >> Now, that's not hopeless by a long shot. There's something here that is worth saving. Doesn't everybody feel that? >> [music and applause] >> Let me yell at him. >> [laughter] >> Jenny. Yeah. Wasn't this good for you as it WAS FOR US? >> [applause] [music] [music] >> CHEEK TO CHEEK. >> [music] >> I LOVE YOU, LOVE. HEY, I'm tired. >> Tonight, tonight is back to back. Oh god, I needed that. >> New York loves UPN 9, we'll show them the way. OLé. I'VE GOT ANOTHER CHILD. I'M ABOUT TO BLOW UP. JESSE LOVES MARTIN AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY. WHAT'S UP? UPN 9 GOT THEM [music] ON EVERY NIGHT. >> YOU GO, BOY. It's an hour that you'll see. GIVE ME LAUGHS ON UPN. WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S UP? YOU KNOW YOU GOT TO VIEW IT, NO IFS, ANDS, OR BUTS TO IT. UPN 9 GOT MARTIN [music] BACK TO BACK. UH-HUH. YOU'LL BE GRINNING FROM EAR TO EAR, SITTING ON YOUR REAR. BIG THURSDAY, UPN 9 GOT THEM EVERY NIGHT FROM TOP TO BOTTOM. BABY GOT BACK. BACK to back. Malcolm and Eddie. Good behavior. Sparks. Malisha. >> Homeboys in outer [music] space. >> Or my own. Back to back to back. Back to back. I like this part. Hey, that's funny. [music] Is this awesome or what? Go, girl. Well, all righty then. I said, "BACK." TOO BAD. STAY TUNED. I'm out.