U.S. Steel Hour: "Queen of the Orange Bowl" (1/13/1960)

[music] [Narrator:] This is "The United States Steel Hour". Modern steels from United States Steel. Lighten your work, brighten your vision, widen your world. This trademark "USS" means the best possible steel at the lowest possible price. Now live from New York: Anne Francis, Johnny Carson, Glenda Farrell and Frank McHugh demonstrate that love is not for the faint-hearted. [jazzy music] [typewriter keys] [Ken:] Ah, no. It's still not right. [Lou:] Could I see it please? [Ken:] Lou, it's no good. [Lou:] Oh, now wait a minute. It's past 6:30, and I need the layout before I can get out of here. Try it on me. [Ken:] Well, there should be some artwork of this girl, you know, with a wild hair, and she's uh, she's looking back over shoulder you know in kind of a cute pouty way? [Lou:] Yeah, yeah. The French girl in the Turkish towel. [Ken:] Uh huh, and... well here's the copy. She filled men with desire. To look at her is to know desire. They called her desire. [Lou:] You're right it's not right. [Ken:] Yes too strong for the Sunday papers? [Lou:] Maybe you could find a good synonym for desire. [Ken:] Yeah, yeah, I thought of that. [sigh] Uh, propensity, wish, inclination, bent... ardor, fervor... [Lou:] Any of those. [Ken:] Oh, alright. She filled men with propensity. To look at her as to know inclination. They called her, bent. [Lou:] It'll be seven o'clock any minute now. Love, relish, request, need, want... [Ken:] Want, oh I was supposed to meet a girl at six o'clock.. [Lou:] Anybody I know? [Ken:] Nah, I met her in a creative writing class at NYU. [Lou:] Lots of luck. [Woman:] Love... is a watermelon, round and smooth and full of mystery. Love is not knowing. [telephone ring] Uncertainty runs pitty-pat on tiny chicken feet through the never-ending night. [telephone ring] [music] [music][telephone ring] [Woman:] Oh, be quiet! [telephone ring] Hello? Ken? Where are you? At the office? No, no that's all right. I don't mind. No. I know how important your work is Anyway for the next two weeks, we can see each other every day. That is if you haven't forgotten that you're gonna spend your vacation with me? Ah, not a chance. You know it sounds like a great idea. Oh, sure, we'll do wild things. Explore Staten Island? I don't think it's ever been done before. We'll have a ball. The Bronx Zoo at feeding time. The Fulton Fish Market at dawn. Right now you better get back to work. No, that's all right. You come over when you're finished. There's no real hurry, I suppose. No, I, I suppose not. I'll see in two minutes. [Lou:] Hey, what about this layout? [Ken:] I'll have the copy on your desk first thing in the morning. [Lou:] Oh, but you're going on vacation! [Ken:] Oh boy, am I going on vacation all right. [Lou:] What's so special about this girl? [Ken:] Annie? Lou, this girl... You, you wouldn't believe it. [Lou:] Yeah? [Ken:] Why am I wasting time with you anyway? [Lou:] Well invite me to the wedding. [Ken:] Now Lou, you don't understand. This is not the girl you marry. This is the kind of girl you know before you're married, if you're lucky. [telephone ring] [Ken:] I'm gone. [Lou:] Could be the boss. [Ken:] I don't care whoever it is. [Lou:] Hello? Oh hold on just a minute. It's your mother! Hello, Mom? Is there anything wrong? No, for heaven's sakes! No, your father's fine, knock wood. Well as far as I know everybody in Rochester's fine. I just wanted to know what time your train gets in. That's nice to know, Mom, but, but what train? Well your vacation starts tomorrow doesn't it? After all darling, we haven't really seen you since Christmas. Mom, I've been home seven times since Christmas. What do you mean weekends don't count? Oh... well darling, if you don't want to come home... Mom, I didn't say that. Mom, look. Mom, would you wait a minute? Look, it was swell of you to clean up my old room. I certainly appreciate that. Well the fact is, I kind of halfway promised to spend some time with a friend. Uh, a literary acquaintance. Well... the decision's entirely up to you dear. You do just as you like. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, I won't be the least bit disappointed. I'll take the noon train. Well now you're absolutely sure that you want to come, dear? Look, all right, all right Kenny. Yes, we'll be expecting you! [Man:] Is that Kenny on the phone? [Mother:] Yeah your dad just came in tracking dirt all over my clean kitchen. [Father:] Huh, I want to talk to him. [Mother:] Wait a minute, dear. [Father:] Is that you, Kenny? This is Pop. How are you boy? Oh, that's fine, fine. [Father:] How are things in New York? [Mother, simultaneously:] Dear, have a safe trip. [Mother:] Try and sit one of the middle coaches huh? All right, bye. [Father:] Is he coming up for the weekend? [Mother:] His vacation. [Father:] Oh? I don't see why he'd want to waste it around here. [Woman:] Anybody mind if I come in? [Mother:] Hello, Cora. [Cora:] I was just glancing out of the window and noticed George working in the backyard. [Father:] You've been glancing out of that window for an hour and a half. [Cora:] Look like to me you were putting up a new birdhouse. [Father:] No, no, just a new roof. Not that there was anything the matter with the old one. [Mother:] It leaked. There must be some reason why we never have any birds. [Father:] Maybe they don't like the neighborhood. [Cora:] What's wrong with the neighborhood? I've lived here all my life. [Mother:] Oh, don't pay any attention to him, Cora. [Cora:] Oh. [Mother:] I just talked to Kenny on the phone. He's coming home for two weeks. [Cora:] Oh, you must be tickled to pieces. [Mother:] Oh, yes, yes. It's always good to have him home, you know, even for a little while. [Cora:] Isn't that a coincidence? I was talking to my niece today, and I was telling her all about Kenny. She's dying to meet him. You know, Rosalinda. Oh, yes, yes, I remember her. An awfully pale girl. [Cora:] Well her coloring's not too good, but she's as nice as she can be. [Mother:] Yes, I'm sure she is. [Cora:] If it's her health you're worried about, she's strong as an ox. [Mother:] I wasn't even thinking about that, Cora. [Cora:] I know how you want the girl Kenny marries to be just perfect. [Mother:] Oh, I want him to marry the right girl. She doesn't have to be perfect, only right. You see Kenny has an ideal in mind. We've discussed it many times. Kenny, hasn't any secrets, you know. Oh, Rosalinda is a wonderful girl. And I'm not just saying that because she's my sweet sister's daughter. Cora, all I said, that was, that she seemed unnaturally pale. Oh, let's just drop the whole subject. [Cora:] Anyway, Kenny's probably taken up with some, New York girl by now. [Mother:] He has not. [Cora:] What makes you so sure? [Mother:] He hasn't any secrets from his mother, Cora. [Cora:] Mm-hmm all the same. [Mother:] You take my word for it. I know Kenny. And I know that he's not the least bit interested in any fancy pantsy, New York girl. He's much too serious for that. [Cora:] Haha. [Ken, laughing:] Haha, Annie, stop it! Come on, stop it. Stop it, come on now. [Anne:] I don't like to see you frown. [Ken:] Well, I can't help it. I've got something to frown about. Annie, and stop it! [laughing] [Ken:] You see what happens to girls who go around tickling men? [Anne:] Mmmm-hmmm. [Ken:] You know something? You are delicious. [Anne:] What else? [Ken:] Overwhelming. [Anne:] What else? [Ken:] Soft, companionable. [Anne:] Like a pal? [Ken:] More like a charmer. [Anne:] Let's get chummy. [Ken:] Ah, Annie there's a.. there's something I'd like to talk to you about. [Anne:] I'm listening. [Ken:] Well... I can't talk when you're listening that way. Could we, could we sit at arm's length? [Ken:] Where are you going? [Anne:] Pose, I'll finish your portrait. [Ken:] Ah, Annie look, why don't you clean this pad up a little bit? [Anne:] Why? What's wrong with it? [Ken:] Oh it's... it's cool. [Ken:] Hey, you know that's real... bad. [Anne:] Aww come on don't be a square. Pose. Go ahead and talk, I can hear you. [Ken:] Well, the thing is, you see, somebody called me this morning and they... they asked me to do something, and I'm afraid I said I would. [Anne:] Hmm. [Ken:] That's pretty much the way things stand. [Anne:] Mmm-hmm. How would you like to take a ride on a coal barge? [Ken:] Right this minute? [Anne:] No sometime next week. I met a barge captain at a cocktail party and he's dying to take me up the river. [Ken:] I'll bet. Annie, about next week. [Anne:] You know, I think we ought to do something different every day. How do you feel about the dinosaurs at the Museum of Natural History? [Ken:] Eh, lukewarm. [Anne:] I'd like to pay them a visit, but it is your vacation. What would you like to do? [Ken:] Well look Annie, there are certain considerations, you know? Responsibilities that have to be met. Obligations. [Anne:] Oh, I dig. You got jury duty. [Ken:] No, you don't dig. Look Annie, I... I've got some bad news. [Anne:] Well lay it on. I'm sturdy [Ken:] Well... see... I have to go to Rochester. [Anne:] For how long? [Ken:] The whole thing. That's what I wanted to talk to you about Annie. You see, Mom called me at the office, and I, I couldn't let her down. Why not? Well, she'd cleaned up my old room. How dirty was it? Well, I don't suppose it was dirty. I only slept in it two weeks ago. I thought maybe she had to clean it with a shovel. [Ken:] Ah look Ann- Annie be realistic, honey. Look, if I spend two weeks at home. I'll be able to spend more weekends in the city. [Recorded voice:] Love... is a watermelon. You like things the way they are. [Ken:] Well, don't you? [tape rewind noise] [Anne:] We're not getting anywhere. I don't suppose we ever will. [Ken:] Ah Annie, now look. There's no reason things have to change with us. You know, I'm gonna go on seeing you when I come back. [Anne:] Once a week, once every two weeks, then once in awhile. Oh, I can see us meeting at some crowded kitchen at somebody's party and you're saying, "Good grief Anne McKenzie, I never would have recognized you." Annie, I'll only be going for two weeks. [Anne:] I'm not gonna stay alone in this room. I'm gonna go places and meet men. Lots of them, tall, good-looking. They're everywhere How do you know I won't meet someone I like better than you? [Ken:] Oh you won't. [Anne:] Well I just might. Or maybe you'll meet some sweet Rochester girl, who isn't hip or kooky or anything. Just the kind of girl you'd want to marry. How do you know the kind of girl I want to marry? You have a kind you don't. It just dawned on me, that's how bright I am. Kenneth? [Ken:] Huh? [Anne:] Take me to Rochester with you. [Ken:] What?! Well... that's fantastic. What would Mom say? [Anne:] Are you afraid of her? [Ken:] Well no, but I don't think she'd understand you, I mean, I don't understand you. [Anne:] She wouldn't approve? [Ken:] Well, I don't expect Mom's ever met a real Greenwich Village character before. [Anne:] A what? [Ken:] Well, you know. All this. [Anne:] When I first met you, you said you liked creative people. [Ken:] I do, but this is nutty. [Anne:] You mean I'm nutty. [Ken:] Last week, you're a Martian. That's what you told a guy at a party. [Anne:] Oh, well, I didn't expect him to believe me. [Ken:] Well you say funny things. You do nutty things. I mean, and why do get such a kick out of embarrassing me? Like at the restaurant yesterday. [Anne:] You just shouldn't embarrass so easily. There's a crack in your sense of humor. All right now. What's so funny about walking out in your bare feet and making me go back for your shoes? [Anne:] Well instead of crawling around under the wrong table, you should have asked the waiter to get my shoes. He's French. He wouldn't have been embarrassed if I'd left all of my clothes under the table. [Ken:] All right, you see. Now do you see why I can't take you home? [Anne:] Oh I'm beginning to see all kinds of ratty little things! [Ken:] Oh be reasonable! [Anne:] You don't think I'm good enough to meet your mother. You deny that! [Ken:] Look you're getting all excited over nothing. [Anne:] Oh, I ought to belt you one. [Ken:] Well, what for? [Anne:] What for? You get out of my apartment. That's what for. [Ken:] Now look, I deserve a little more explanation than that. [Anne:] So are [...]. Go, go, go! [Ken:] All right. Should I call before you apologize? [Anne:] Apologize?! Get out of here. [Ken:] All right, all right. Take you to Rochester? I'd rather take home a box full of spiders. [Anne:] Well from what I've heard of your mother, that would be the perfect gift! [door slam] [door knock] Kenny! [Cora:] Is he here yet? [Mother:] Oh, no Cora. [Cora:] I've got Rosalinda on the phone. She won't be able to meet with Kenny for several days. She has to go out of town. She sells beads to all the summer camps and she got a rush call from some Indian group making a fancy wigwam. [Mother:] Well now you know we hadn't planned anything definite. [Cora:] No, but she's terribly disappointed, poor girl. [Mother:] Maybe the fresh air will do her some good. [Cora:] Well, what'll I tell her? [Mother:] About what? [Cora:] About getting together with Kenny. She keeps an appointment book. Terribly methodical. [Mother:] Oh, I don't know what to tell you Cora. If Kenny has any free time left when Rosalinda gets back, well maybe. [Cora:] Hahahaha! [Mother:] But that's not a promise! [Cora:] Good enough, I'll tell her! [door shuts] [Ken:] Hey Mom! Mom, I'm home. [Mother:] Oh, Kenny! [Ken:] Hi Mom! [Mother:] Oh, Kenny, you're home! [Ken:] Oh, the train was a little late, Mom. [Mother:] Oh, let me look at you! Have you lost weight? [Father:] He's putting it on if you ask me. [Ken:] How's everything, Mom. [Mother:] Oh just fine darling, just fine. We still don't have any birds in the bird house. [Ken:] Oh, no. [Mother:] Ah, are you hungry? [Ken:] Ah, not very. [Mother:] Aww, couldn't you manage a little piece of pie? [Ken:] Dutch Apple? [Mother:] Uh-huh. I made it myself. [Ken:] Well, I'm probably good. Well, I'll have some a little later Mom, I want to unpack before my ties wrinkle anyway. [Mother:] George, you take his suitcase. [Ken:] No, I can take it Pop. Don't worry about it. [Mother:] Kenny, you have lost weight. If you'd only come home... [Father:] I'll bet this is Cora. [Anne:] Hello! [Father, quietly:] Oh. [Anne:] I'll bet your Ken's father. [Father:] Yes. [Anne, quietly:] Thank you. [Anne:] Ken! I looked for you on the train and I couldn't find you anywhere. He kept begging for me to come to Rochester with him, but I didn't know whether I could until the last moment. [Anne:] But here I am! [Anne:] Hello. Let me look at you. Yes, you're his mother. I could have picked you out in a crowd. Uh, Mom [clears throat] Mom, this is Anne McKenzie she's....she's... We're chums. [music] ["U.S. Steel Hour" theme song] [Narrator:] This is "The United States Steel Hour". Now a word from George Hicks. [George Hicks:] In merry old England, life was gay and the King was Richard III. He entertained in a royal way, but the meals were rather absurd. Things went that way for many a day till Henry VIII was crowned. Now here was a king who liked... new things and was always... looking around. He popped his cork when he spotted a fork and started to change the rules. No matter how well he'd been eating by hand, he could eat twice as well with tools. It was true for Henry and true today, that tools are necessary. There are tools to clothe and tools to feed, and tools to fetch and carry. Tools of industry, tools of trade to get things done and to get things made. Tools of leisure, tools of sport, tools to educate and report. Tools to compete in the building race, and tools to explore outer space. Tools for factories, tools for schools, and still more tools to make the tools. Now... a lot of the tools that we have today: the plants and mills and the rest, are paid for out of profits that companies reinvest. For industry's profit dollar is the greatest tool of all. It makes the oil wells deeper and makes the cities tall. When a company earns a profit and each owner gets a share, the remaining money determines how the company's growth will fare. For it must consider the future. A needed mine or mill. Things would come to a pretty pass if industry just stood still. Indeed our growth and progress depends on the profit rate, for profits pay for tools and tools keep America great. [music] [Narrator:] Now we return to Act Two of "Queen of the Orange Bowl", adapted by Bob Van Scoyk from a story by Roger Squire. [Mother:] This is Kenny's room. You'll have to sleep on an Army cot in the sewing room. [Ken:] We don't have a guest room. [Anne:] Oh, I don't mind. This is fascinating You were a boy for a long time, weren't you? [Ken:] No longer than usual. Uh, Mom you better get some towels and things, huh? [Mother:] Oh. Isn't this adorable? Now, I can't imagine you having the patience to put one of these together. [Ken:] I didn't put it together. Mom made it. Oh. Well Kenny was never very handy with his hands, you know. And I just thought they'd look nice in his room. [Anne:] Why, did you make all of these? [Mother:] They're not very hard once you get the knack. But did you see this little pocket battleship? [Ken:] Oh Mom, I'm sure Anne's not interested in that. [Anne:] Yes, I am! [Ken:] Look, you've got some things to do haven't you Mom? [Mother:] Oh, yes, well...well [nervous laughter] It was, it was awfully nice of the office to let you both take your vacation at the same time. [Anne:] Oh, we don't work together. No? Why Kenny. I thought you told me.. [Ken:] No. Oh, well I don't know where I got that idea. [laughter] I suppose you both have lots of friends in common though, and that's how you happen to meet? [Anne:] We don't have any friends in common. [Mother:] Oh, is that... that so... [Ken:] Mom it's really not very mysterious. [Mother:] Yeah, and it's none of my business either. [Ken:] No, no, I'll be happy to explain. [Mother:] No, it's quite alright, you don't have to do dear. [Ken:] Actually it's kind of funny, how we met. [Anne:] Yes, it is. [Mother:] Yes, I'm sure it is. Well, it doesn't matter. I- I want you to make your guest feel right at home. Mom. All right, Annie. [Ken:] What are you doing here? [Anne:] Guesting. [Ken:] Annie, you were not invited. [Anne:] Would you put that heavy bag on the bed, please? [Ken:] Annie, this is my home. My home. You know what that means? [Anne:] Mmm-hmm. Apple pie and mother. [Ken:] Yes, and I'm not gonna let you stay here and make fun of it. [Anne:] Is that what you think I'm gonna do? [Ken:] Well, what are you gonna do? [Anne:] Change! [Ken:] Now watch it! [Anne:] Go! [Ken:] You can't tell me to get out of my own room. [Anne:] Why didn't you mother know my name? [Ken:] What? [Anne:] You've talked to her on the phone. You've been home on weekends. You've written to her. Why didn't you ever mention me? [Ken:] The subject just never came up. [Anne:] You mean you never brought the subject up. [Ken:] All right, Annie. Now do you see how impossible it is for you to stay? [Ken:] What are those? [Anne:] Short-shorts. Do you like them? [Ken:] You can't wear those in front of my mom. Aren't you a little worried about Dad? [Ken:] Annie, you cannot wear those in front of my mother. [Anne:] Get out or I'll belt you. [Ken:] Annie! [Anne:] Go on, out! Out, out! Annie this is-- this isn't Greenwich Village. It's Rochester. These are my people. [Father:] Anne McKenzie, that's a good ole Scottish name. [Mother:] Inviting that girl up here without a word to us. You know that isn't a bit like Kenny. [Father:] Well, you did look a little bowled over. [chuckles] [Mother:] I never did like surprises. [Father:] That's today's paper. [Mother:] Yes, you're not going to mess up the house now. [Father:] Isabelle, just for the sake of argument, what do you think of her? Well, she's a very pretty girl. [Mother:] The world's full of pretty girls. [Father:] Maybe so, but how many of them ever drop in here? [Cora, off screen:] Anybody home? [Mother:] Oh we're in here, Cora. [Cora:] Hello, hello, hello! [Father, unexcitedly:] Hello. [Cora:] Well, where is Kenny? Isn't he home? [Mother:] He's upstairs... with his visitor. [Cora:] Visitor? [Mother:] A young lady. [Cora:] Oh for goodness sakes. [Mother:] A friend of his from Greenwich Village. [Cora:] And you didn't even know about her. [Mother:] No. [Cora:] You don't suppose? [Mother:] What? [Cora:] That they're secretly married. [Father, muttering:] Oh, horseradish. [Cora:] Well my cousin Florence was secretly married for 17 years. Her mother didn't approve of the man. He was a toe dancer. [Mother:] Oh no, no Cora. They're just friends. [Cora:] Mmm-hmmm. [Mother:] What do you mean hmmm? [Cora:] Something is going on. [Ken:] Oh, hi Cora. [Cora:] Ohhh! [clapping] Here he comes now. [Ken:] I didn't know that you were here. [Cora:] Aw, let me look at you. [Cora:] I think you're losing some of your hair. You still have some though. Well, where's this girl we've been hearing so much about? [Ken:] She's changing clothes Will you excuse me? [Cora:] I didn't think those Greenwich Village people ever changed clothes. Oh the things they wear down there. Rosalinda sold beads one summer at the art exhibit and she told me she was all shook up by it. [Mother:] Why what do they wear? Whatever is handy, if anything. [Mother:] Oh for heaven's sake. Kenny, where are you going? [Ken:] I forgot something upstairs, Mom. [Anne:] Hello! [Father:] Annie, you're as pretty as a picture. [Mother:] Oh Cora, this is Kenny, er, Anne McKenzie. This is my next-door neighbor Cora Wylie. [Cora:] Welcome to our city. [Anne:] Thank you. I'm so thrilled... [Ken:] Well if you'll excuse us, I promised to show Anne some of the points of interest. [Anne:] No, some other time, I'd much rather talk to your mother. [Ken:] Annie, at least let me show you the rest of the house. Right out here is our dining room and through this door is Mom's kitchen. [Cora:] You ask me, she's too pretty for her own good. [Father, muttering:] Oh horseradish. [Mother:] George. George, as long as you're not doing anything else, why don't you go up in the attic and look for that army cot? [Father:] I'm gonna read the paper. It's in the basement. [Cora:] A girl like that could get around almost anyone. [Mother:] She won't get around me. [Ken:] All right Annie. Look, you think you can fool my mother? She'll see through this Little Orphan Annie routine in a minute. [Anne:] She's not nearly as rough as I thought she'd be. [Ken:] And where did you get that dress? You look like a pilgrim. [Anne:] Well your father didn't think so. [Ken:] Look Annie, fun is fun, but bear one thing in mind when you talk to my mother. [Anne:] She's your best girl. [Ken:] I wished you wouldn't say things like that. [Anne:] Oh boy, when you get home you're a stuffed turkey. [Ken:] All right Annie, just bear this in mind, will you? That my mother and her friends don't share your nonconformist views of life. [Annie:] What views? [Ken:] Well you know the artsy stuff. Modern poetry, abstract painting, Sigmund Freud, Mort Sahl, that whole area. [Anne:] I'll stay out of that area. [Ken:] Good. [Anne:] I'll talk about us. [Ken:] No for Pete's sakes. [Anne:] I'll play it cool. [Ken:] Annie. Why do you have to play it at all? [Anne:] Sweet and cool. [Ken groans] [Anne:] Ken? [Ken:] What? [Ken:] Look Annie, somebody could walk out here. [Anne:] Yes, shall we join the ladies? [Anne:] Mrs. Rausch, your kitchen is just charming. [Mother:] Oh, do you think so? [Anne:] Oh yes! It's exactly like the kind I'd love to have someday. [Mother:] Kenny. Kenny. [Ken:] Hmmm? [Mother:] Why don't you go upstairs and finish unpacking? What? Oh, sure. [Cora:] Ah, do you, uh work? I mean, in the city, Anne? [Anne:] Yes, lately I've been pursuing a new interest. Oh? What line are you in? Education. I'm a kindergarten teacher. La, la, la-la, la. [singing] May I, Isabelle? Thank you. [Ken:] Oh, hi Pop. [Father:] Hi Kenny. Kenny, how tall are you? [Ken:] Oh about 5... [Father:] No. Don't tell me. I'll tell you. You are exactly four inches longer than this army cop. [Ken:] How do you know that? [Father:] Everybody is four inches longer than an army cot. That's the way they manufacture it. [Ken:] I don't mind that, Pop. But it's, it's this room, it gives me an uneasy feeling. [Father:] Well of course it does. And there's a very good reason why. It's haunted. [Ken:] Is that what it is? [Father:] Sure, sure. [Father:] Oh ah, Kenny. This girl you brought home. [Ken:] Yeah, what about her? [Father:] Well she seems to be a pretty good sort. [Ken:] What makes you say that? [Father:] Well you've been acting kind of nervous. I thought maybe you might like to hear an opinion. Even if it is only mine. [Ken:] Look Pop. She's not here for inspection. [Father:] Maybe not. But right now, she's being judged on more points than Miss America. [Anne:] Hello, am I interrupting? [Father:] No, no, no, not at all. I was just comparing you to Miss America. She had better look out. [Anne:] I could kiss you for that. [Father:] Well, go right ahead! [Anne:] No, not in front of the children. [laughter] [Anne:] I never was Miss America, but I was Queen of the Orange Bowl once. [Father:] Queen of the Orange Bowl. Is that so? Well what do you know about that? That's quite a big honor. [Anne:] I had my picture on the cover of a magazine. [Father:] No kidding. [Anne:] Can I help you? [Father:] No, no thanks. Thanks, just the same. I'm used to making the beds around here. [Anne:] Well, if you're sure. [Father:] I'm sure. Thank you. [Ken:] Why Queen of the Orange Bowl? Why didn't you tell him you're Queen of Romania? [Anne:] Ohhh, you're frowning. I don't like that. [Ken:] Annie, not here. Annie, Annie. Not here, please! [Ken, giggling:] No, not in the... Annie! [Mother:] I don't care what she was Queen of. I'll make up my own mind about her. Anyway, that doesn't prove anything. She wasn't picked for her personality alone. [Father:] Well, a good figure is no handicap to a woman. Isabelle, I remember you when you were her age. Your figure was the best in Monroe County. Yes it was. Yes it was. [Mother:] Oh George. [Father:] Besides it does prove one thing: she's popular. [Mother:] What, she was popular enough with you. She no sooner got here then she was kissing you all over. [Father:] Just a peck on the cheek. No harm in being affectionate. And this girl does have a lot of the qualities you're always looking for in a wife for Kenny. She's popular... [Mother:] With men, I shouldn't wonder. [Father:] She's a good-looker... [Mother:] Beauty's only skin-deep. [Father:] She's modest... [Mother:] That's nothing to brag about. [Father:] She has good manners, and she's very neat. [Mother:] The next thing you'll be saying, "She's a good housekeeper." [Father:] Well if she isn't, I can always teach Kenny how to run the vacuum cleaner! [Mother:] Oh George. [Ken:] Okay, what are you doing up there? [Anne:] Helping your mother. [Ken:] Oh, does she know it? [Anne:] Oh, I thought I'd surprise her. Pop said she was dusting in here. [Ken:] Who said? [Anne:] Your father. [Ken:] Pop? [Anne:] No, that's what he told me to call him. [Anne:] My you have an interesting library. "The Rover Boys and the Runaway Locomotive." One of yours. [Ken:] All right, come on down from there. [Anne:] Pretty soon. [Ken:] Right now. [Anne:] Okay! [Ken:] Annie! [Annie laughing] [Anne:] Kenny honestly, put me down. [Mother:] Mr. Rausch said you were in here dusting the books. You don't have to do anything like that, you know. They were dusted this morning. [Anne:] Please let me help. I just love to do work around the house. It gives me such a feeling of fulfillment. Why at home, I just can't do enough. [Father:] After she finished dusting the books she washed the windows. [Cora:] No. [Father:] Yes, then she beat the rugs. [Cora:] The rugs? [Father:] And did a beautiful job. Better than I ever did. Oh, are you invited to dinner? No, but I think I'll stay anyway. I'd hate to miss anything [Cora:] So... what do you think of her now? [Mother:] I'm still keeping an open mind. Knives on the right. Forks on the left. [Ken:] Don't tell me we're eating in the dining room. What's wrong with the kitchen? [Father:] Special occasion. President Eisenhower and the Supreme Court are coming to dinner. [Mother:] She assumed we eat in here, so here's where we'll eat. [Ken:] Where is she now upstairs flat on her back after all that housework? [Father:] No, she's out in the kitchen. [Ken:] What's she doing out there? [Mother:] Fixing dinner. [Ken:] What? [Mother:] She says there's nothing she likes better than whipping up a meal. [Anne humming] [Ken:] All right Annie. What is that? [Anne:] Lamb curry. [Ken:] Well what's in there? [Anne:] A pie. [Ken:] Dutch apple? [Anne:] I hear, it's your favorite. [Ken:] You know darn well it is. Now what's, what's the big idea? [Anne:] Well you're a smart fellow. You figure it out. [Ken:] All right Annie, you can stop playing house now. It won't work. You can't impress me with this act. I know you. [Anne:] You didn't know I could cook. [Ken:] Oh you probably had the whole thing catered. I wouldn't put it past you. [Anne:] I have your mother as a witness. Just wait'll you taste this. It's delicious. In fact... it's irresistible. [music] [Anne:] Ken? Would you bring in the rice please? [Ken:] Yes dear. [Anne:] Dear, did you hear me? [Ken:] What am I doing? [door shuts] I don't see how you can say it's all Annie's fault. She is upstairs right now crying her eyes out. [Mother:] Well, he never ran out on one of my meals. [Father:] I've felt like running out on a lot of them. That food looked pretty darn good. Didn't it Cora? [Cora:] Tasted even better than it looked. I tried a couple of mouthfuls. [Father:] There you see, he probably got nervous waiting for you to say just one kind word about Annie. But no, no she can't satisfy you. The truth is, you're a little bit jealous. [Mother:] Oh horseradish. [Father:] Yes you are. Yes you are. You're like a mama cat when anybody comes near one of her kittens. [Mother:] That's a terrible thing to say to me in front of Cora. [Cora:] Oh, don't mind me. [Father:] Always talking about the ideal girl, and then when she does show up, you can barely stand it. [Mother:] Oh stop talking. Where's Kenny? Why don't you go out and look for him. [Father:] All right, I will. I'll go out and look for him. I'll go out right now. Isabelle, I like that girl. And if you don't like her then you're no better at picking a daughter-in-law than my mother was. Good night! [Cora:] That's the first time I've ever known George to lose his temper. [Mother:] It's that girl! [organ music] [Cora tsking] [music] [music and ice clinking] [Bartender:] Cats and mice. Dogs and cats. Men and women. [Ken:] You know behind every great man, there's a... woman? Thomas Edison. Now he invented the incandescent bulb and the very first thing his wife said was, "Tom! Turn out the light and come to bed." [Father, slurring:] All the wars in the world were started by women. That's the truth [Ken:] How's that? [Father, slurring:] Well they nag a man so around the house 'til he gets so mad, he wants to go out and then fight the first person he runs into. [Ken:] To the masculine race. [Father:] Wait a minute. I'll drink to that. [Ken:] The tragic thing is gentlemen, that there is nothing sweeter nor more comforting on the face of the earth than the tender smile of a loving woman. [Father, slurring:] I wouldn't give you a nickel for the whole lot. [Ken:] I'll drink to that. [glass clink] [Father, slurring:] No. I should not have said that. There are some very exceptional women in the world. My mother, rest her soul. It's your grandmother. She was one in a million. [Ken:] How about Grandpa? [Father:] He loved her dearly, and she wouldn't give the poor old man one minute's peace. He loved her dearly. Sir. My father loved my mother dearly. [Bartender:] Look. Now, what is it? Can anybody tell me that? [Ken:] Ah fondness, uh liking, affection, attachment friendship, ardor... [Father:] My son Kenny is a writer of words. His foreign movie ads are masterpieces... of their kind. [Barender:] You don't say? [Ken:] My Pop works in a pencil factory. The eraser division. [Bartender:] Oh. [Father:] People are inclined to make mistakes. [Bartender:] Right. [Ken:] Pop, tell me something. Did, did you wait for the right girl? Well, suppose the right girl did come along. I mean, I haven't even seen the world yet. [Father:] You won't either. I never saw it. But if I was a single man, I'd go out and see it fast enough. [Ken:] You know something? I'd go with you too. [Father:] Would you, Kenny? Well say, that's awful nice of you. Where would we go first? [Ken:] You pick a place. Hey! Shhh. Shhh. [drum music] "The Lambda Wiki Waki", huh? [Father:] Oh it's beautiful. [Ken:] Huh! [Father:] Oh. Don't, don't. Don't spoil it. Well, where did you learn that? [Ken:] Where else? In college, Pop. [Father:] I'm glad all that money wasn't wasted. [Ken:] Come on Pop, you try it. [Father:] Nah, no, no, no. [Father:] I never went to college. [Ken:] You don't learn to swing it, they won't let you on the island. [Father:] Perhaps, I better stay on the boat. [Ken:] Come on, Pop. You only live once. [Father:] Now you've hit me in my weak spot. [music and clapping] [Ken:] Come on, Pop, swing it! [unintelligible talking] [slow music] [door bell] [Father:] Ring the bell again. Not too loud this time! You'll wake somebody up. [door bell] [Anne:] The door is open. [Father:] Oh. [Ken:] Ah hahaaah! Don't you believe her? Ha, you know, she's always saying things like that. [Mother:] George! George, what have you done to him? [Ken:] Yeah, George. What'd you do to me? [Ken:] I brought you home. [Ken:] He brought me home. [Anne:] None to soon either. [Mother:] Oh come on. Let's get him upstairs, George. [Ken:] Aha. There. There she is: the Queen of the Kindergarten. [Father:] He's had a drink. [Ken:] Hey, you know something? [Mother:] Come on, come on George [Ken:] You got to give her credit. She fooled us all, you know what she really is? [Father:] Yes, she's our guest. [Ken:] Ahh, no she isn't. She's a humbug and she's a, she's a flim-flam, and she's a... [Anne:] Bamboozler. [Ken:] Yeah, all of it. [Anne:] Save your breath. I'm leaving anyway. Goodbye. [Father:] Oh, now Annie. [Mother:] Oh George. George... Kenny! Oh Kenny, for heaven's sakes. [Mother:] Oh my poor baby. [Father:] Some people just shouldn't drink. [Father:] Annie, this isn't... Annie, Annie. [car driving off] Annie's gone. That girl brightened my corner. [sob] ["U.S. Steel Hour" theme music] [Narrator:] This is "The United States Steel Hour". Hear now about a new style of living from Jack Brand. [harp music] [Jack Brand:] You're sitting pretty, with furniture styled in steel. See for yourself. You're sitting pretty because furniture designers are using today's highly styleable steels, to create a beautiful new style of living. Easy living with the latest in chairs and tables, the smartest new designs in sofas, the loveliest kitchen and dinette sets. All furniture with a flair: a flair for fashion. For that "don't have a care in the world" comfort because practically nothing can mire furniture styled in steel. The same thing goes in the world of business too. Steel is for sitting pretty. For office furniture styled in steel now comes in a bright array of decorator colors with units that provide a place for everything. Drawers and doors work smoothly always, because steel never warps or sticks. Office furniture of steel is a lifetime investment in office efficiency, and at a smart look that speaks well of the company. And last but not least, you're sitting pretty right in your own backyard. For steel gives lawn furniture a sunny disposition. The colors are bright and fade-proof. The finish is so hard and smooth it laughs off dirt and weather Steel lawn furniture is substantial enough so a bump or strong winds won't knock it over. Light enough to move easily and sturdy enough for solid comfort. Like your unbeatable steel barbecue, it has all the abilities to give you a lifetime of fun. [Song begins] [Woman sings:] Steel has... styleabilites. Steel has... durabilities. Steel has... cleanability, dependability, smart usability. Steel has... every ability that makes a product better for you! Get all the abilities of steel, when you buy! [Song ends] [Brand:] This mark tells you a product is made of steel. Look for it when you buy. [Narrator:] And now from our studio in New York, Act Three of "Queen of the Orange Bowl", adapted by Bob Van Scoyk from a story by Roger Squire. [Anne on recording:] Love... is a loaded pistol. Dangerous weapon in the hands of children. Love is a rusty nail in the foot. The disease for which there is no cure. Love... is a poisoned apple. I'm Snow White. [Ken:] Oh, hi Pop. Well, hello Kenny. I didn't expect to find you home. Is this any way to spend your vacation? [Ken:] Oh, I'm all right, Pop. How are things at the pencil factory? [Father:] [big sigh] Same as usual. Every day we face a tremendous crisis. [Ken:] Uh-huh. [Father:] Shall we manufacture more yellow pencils or more red pencils? And shall they contain soft, medium, or hard lead? [Ken:] How'd it turn out today? [Father:] Yellow and medium. I won the pool, $8. Kenny? How come you're hanging around the house? [Ken:] Ah, just catching up on my reading, Pop. [Father:] Oh, it must be something pretty good to keep you indoors on a day like this. [Ken:] Oh, this is real meaty stuff. Here, listen to this: "The fun-loving Rover chuckled as his canoe went over the waterfall and plunged into the seething torrent below." Uh-huh. Kenny you oughta go out and see people. There's nobody to see, Pop. There's the telephone. In case there's anyone in particular that you'd want to call. Anywhere in particular. Huh? I can't think of anybody, Pop. Suit yourself. I wonder if we still have that deck of cards around the house. What for? I thought perhaps after a while we could have a rousing game of Old Maid. [music] [Anne:] So this is where Ken's brain functions the best. Ooh, that's crazy wallpaper. [Lou:] Oh, he's not due back from his vacation for several days yet. [Anne:] I know. I didn't want to take a chance of running into him. Which is his desk? [Lou:] Oh right there. Presents? Yep, from Ken to me. [Anne:] This is a farewell gift of my own. [Lou:] You're breaking up with him? [Anne:] I've broken up with him. [Lou:] Mind if I offer a little constructive criticism? I'm in the Art Department so I know what I'm talking about it. [Anne:] It isn't very good is it? [Lou:] Oh, I don't know. Look at the color of that right eye. [Anne:] It was supposed to be the same color as the left, but I ran out of blue. [Lou:] Oh don't minimize. Van Gogh achieved some of his best effects by accident. [Anne:] You mean, you like this? [Lou:] Oh well, to be brutally frank, I only like 95 percent of it. [laughter] [Anne:] Well, Ken hated it all of it, that's why I'm giving it to him. [Lou:] Ah well. Ken is not in the Art Department. What does he know about painting? [Anne:] What does he know about anything? [Lou:] Miss McKenzie. There's a painting at the Guggenheim, I'd like very much to show you. What about this afternoon? [Anne:] Well, I... [Lou:] Then cocktails. Dinner? [Anne:] No, I'm sorry. [Lou:] Oh you have a date? [Anne:] No... [Lou:] Oh well, then you probably have a very good reason for staying home alone. [Anne:] No, not really. Well I don't know why I shouldn't go out with you as well as anybody else. [Lou:] Preferably me. [Anne:] Can you think of any reason? [Lou:] None whatsoever. [Anne:] Neither can I. All right, we've got a date. I'm glad to meet you. [Lou:] Likewise. Kenny! Shake a leg. You're gonna miss that train! [Ken:] Okay, Pop! [Mother:] I don't see why Kenny has to go back so soon. [Father:] He finished his book. [Mother:] He still has another day left on his vacation. [Father:] Perhaps he can find something better to do with it in New York City. [Mother:] He can use the rest. [Father:] Rest! He slept so late yesterday. I went up and took his pulse. Hey Kenny! [Ken:] Coming Pop. Come on. [Father:] You got everything? [Ken:] I think so. Yeah, here. [Ken:] Goodbye Mom. [Mother:] Oh Kenny, I wish you'd stay. [Ken:] Mom, it's only a day early. [Mother:] I mean forever. I'm sure Mr. Davis would give you your old job back at the grocery store. [Ken:] Mom, you always say that. [Mother:] Oh, I know, I know, I just keep hoping. [Ken:] Oh goodbye Mom. Take care of yourself. [Mother:] Try to sit in one of the middle cars dear, they're safer. Here, here, I made you some sandwiches. [Ken:] Goodbye Mom. All right, not to... [Mother crying] [Father:] Oh, Isabelle... [Mother:] I can't help it. [Father:] Here come the waterworks. Let's go, Kenny. [Ken:] Chin up, Mom. Bye bye. [door bell] [Ken:] Come on, come on. [Father:] Oh, for pete's sake. [Cora:] Hello, hello! [Father:] Cora... [Cora:] Well what is all this? [Ken:] I'm running for a train. [Cora:] But you can't leave yet. You haven't met Rosalinda. [Ken:] Some other time maybe? [Cora:] But she's right here. Honey come here and say hello to Kenny. [Ken:] Cora, I'd love to meet her, but I just don't have time today to meet... [Rosalinda:] Hello. [Ken:] Hi there. Uh, won't you come in? [Father:] Kenny, the train... [Ken:] Look Pop, there's plenty of time. I got a whole other day. [Ken:] So you're Rosalinda, huh? [Cora:] I just knew they'd get along. [Mother:] She's still pale. That color on her face came out of a jar. [Father:] The right girl got away. You'll just have to get used to the wrong ones. [Ken:] Hi Lou! [Lou:] Hey you were due back this morning. The boss was asking for you. [Ken:] I know, I know. [Ken:] I kept missing trains. Well. We have any new problems? [Lou:] Yeah. [Ken:] Didn't we use on an ad like that once before? [Lou:] Identical. The client liked it so much. She wants to use it for all those foreign films, whether it fits or not. It usually fits. [Ken:] Yeah. [Lou:] The problem is the copy. [Ken:] Oh, let me see. "She was a woman. When she walked down the streets everyone pointed and whispered, 'there goes a woman.'" What pinhead wrote this? [Lou:] The boss. [Ken:] Oh. [Lou:] Can you fix it? [Ken:] At least I can correct the spelling. [Lou:] I've never known you to miss a train before. [Ken:] Well, I've never met a girl like Rosalinda. [Lou:] Oh you met a girl back home. [Ken:] Mmm hmm. [Lou:] Oh, that's great! I'm glad to hear that. Takes a load off my mind. [Ken:] How's that? [Lou:] Well, I met a girl too. Someone you know. [Ken:] Oh? [Ken:] Annie? [Lou:] She left those things for you. [Ken:] Gee, I gave her that for Christmas. [Lou:] I've, uh, been taking her out. Annie? [Lou:] Yeah. She's quite a gal. We've been all over town. The zoo. All the art museums. Did you ever go up the river in a coal barge? [Lou:] It's a wonderful experience for two people getting to know each other. [Ken:] Well. It's nice to know you have so many interests in common. [Lou:] It doesn't bother you? [Ken:] Me? Heaven's to Betsy, no. Wish you all the luck in the world...Buddy. [Lou:] Well, I mean, if I thought there was even a spark... [Ken:] Look, just forget it, will ya? Let me get to work on this. [telephone ring] Hello. Mom? Oh, Kenny, it's so good to hear your voice again. Mom. I just got back! What are my plans? For when? Labor Day! Well, I thought maybe we could have a picnic up at the lake, the way we used to. Remember how you loved to sail your little boat? Yeah look Mom, Mom. Mom, would you wait a minute, please? Look. I'm getting a little too old for that jazz. Look I'm not coming home. Not for a while anyway. Look Mom, you see more of me now than you did when I lived there and went to school. Like, why Kenny! Why what a thing to say to me. What? Well maybe you are all mixed up dear, but, but I don't see what I've got to do with it. Well of course you're coming home. Now, wait a minute Kenny. Wait a minute don't hang up, dear. I'm not finished talking. Kenny! Ke... [Father:] Isabelle! Guess what? We got a bird! [Mother, quietly:] What? [Father:] A bird! In the birdhouse. Just a little bit of a fella. Just right out of the home nest. [Mother sobbing] [Father:] Why, what's the matter? [Mother, sobbing:] Oh George! Did it ever strike you that nature gives us mothers a stinking raw deal? [Father:] Oh, now, now, now, now, now. [door knock] [Anne:] Just a minute, Lou! I'm not decent. [Anne:] Oh it's you. [Ken:] I found this junk in my office. [Anne:] Keep it. [Ken:] If there's one thing, I'm not, it's an Indian giver. [Anne:] I don't want your junk. [Ken:] Well, look, why don't you just scatter it around, you'll never notice it in here. [Ken:] What did you do to the place? [Anne:] I cleaned it. [Ken:] Oh, you ruined it. It used to have atmosphere. [Anne:] That was dirt. [Ken:] Well. Whatever it was I liked it. Hmpf. Now it's only a room. [Anne:] Lou likes it this way. [Ken:] Well, what does Lou know? He's in the Art Department. [Anne:] You pick those things up. [Ken:] Well let Lou pick him up. He likes things neat. [Anne:] One thing about Lou: he's consistent. [Ken:] What is that supposed to mean? [Anne:] It means you have a split personality, and I don't like either half. [Ken:] Oh, and your own personality is whole and wholesome, huh? Listen honey, I knew you when. [Anne:] Yes, when I was trying to be the girl I thought you wanted, and I thought you wanted a beatnik. [Ken:] You didn't have to try so hard. First time I saw you, I said, "Greenwich Village". [Anne:] Those were my kindergarten clothes, it was Beatnik Day. [Ken:] Oh Annie, can't you ever tell the truth? [Annie:] I am telling the truth. I'm a kindergarten teacher. [Ken:] Sure... and you were also Queen of the Orange Bowl. [Anne:] Yes, I was. Two years ago. Or was it three? [Ken:] And don't forget you had your picture on a national magazine cover too. [Anne:] Yes, in a bathing suit. I have a copy. [Ken:] Yeah, sure. [Anne:] Now, where is that? [Ken:] Aw, Annie. [Anne:] Well, I can't find anything around here anymore. [Ken:] Why do you keep insisting? [Anne:] I must have thrown it out by mistake. [Ken:] Look Annie, so you told a few miserable lies to my family. Just admit it. I'm willing to forgive you. [Anne:] Are you? [Ken:] Of course! I won't hold a grudge. Just say you're sorry and we'll let it go at that. [Anne:] Will we? I'm sorry. [Ken:] There! You see. You see how easy it was? [Anne:] And you do forgive me? [Ken:] Well of course. [Anne:] Oh Kenny. [kiss] [Ken:] Oh Annie, that's not necessary. Ah, honey. [Anne:] Let's never break up again. [Ken:] Hey, you know what? I saved all of Labor Day. We can see the whole city together. [Anne:] I've saved something for you, too. Oh, you'll have to go there with me. I can't go alone. [Ken:] Anywhere. Anywhere at all. [Anne:] Well, it's City Hall - Marriage License Bureau. [Ken:] Oh Annie, look. [Anne:] No, you look. You make up your mind. Do you want a perfect girl or do you want me? Well? Did you ever have one of those days when you just couldn't make decisions? What time does the Bureau close? [Father:] Isabelle! Isabelle! [Mother:] What? [Father:] You remember that girl that Kenny brought home, that Annie? [Mother:] I don't choose to remember her, thank you. [Father:] I was cleaning out the magazines in the attic and guess what I found? [Mother:] Never mind, dear. We won't ever have to see her again. [vacuum cleaning] [Father chuckling] [Father chuckling] [marching band music] [Narrator:] Piper Laurie stars January 27th on "The United States Steel Hour" with Donald Moffat and special guest star Florence Reed in "You Can't Have Everything", a powerful and unusual drama about a marriage on the brink of disaster. That's January 27th. "The United States Steel Hour" produced by The Theatre Guild. [music] [Brand:] You. Yes, you. You're sitting pretty with furniture styled in steel. The newest, the smartest, the easiest, living furniture for your home. The neatest, most efficient, most smartly businesslike furniture for any office. The brightest, gayest, most fun for all furniture under the sun. You're even sitting pretty when your garden tools are steel. Power tools and fine hand tools, because steel has the durability and all the other abilities to make a product better for you, whether it's a garden tool or a coffee table. So if you want your home to look smart and be comfortable -- If you want your office to look smart and be efficient -- If you want your patio to look smart and be fun -- Choose furnitures styled in steel and be sitting pretty. [jazzy music] Asking you to join us tomorrow night when it's time to "Tell the Truth" on most of these stations. [jazzy music] [U.S. Steel Hour theme music] [Narrator:] Modern steels from United States Steel: lighten your work, brightens your leisure, widen your world. This trademark "USS" means the best possible steel at the lowest possible price. This is Andre Baruch speaking. [Narrator:] Body, mind, and spirit. These are the three things symbolized by the YMCA triangle. The YMCA offers all types of programs from gym to educational classes. There's something for everyone in the YMCA. This is National YMCA Week. Find out what your YMCA has to offer you and your family. Join now. [Announcer:] A young flight officer is forced to crash-land on an unknown planet surface in Friday night's tense "Twilight Zone" adventure on the CBS television network.