Time Out for Trouble (sound)

for [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] this time that Huffy Jane's gone just too far call me an iore will she and me a treasured a a present from her husband's own mother well she'll live to regret it time takes care of so many things especially when you're a specialist in time like I am but Jane will never suspect she just won't understand why she's having so much trouble because it's all going to be completely accidental [Laughter] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] e [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] get out of here you know get out of here with that dark gun you know I don't allow those things in this house get out of here [Music] what Jane's going to be all right well now that is too bad but I'll work things out these stupid humans they think things are responsible for accidents material things like that electric cord that caught Jam 's foot sometimes they lay their troubles to jump piled on the stairs sometimes it's an iron on a shelf other times ice on the sidewalk unlabeled bottles in the Medicine Chest a bad rung in a ladder sou on the [Music] stove really of course any Clark knows its people who bring on accidents the kind of people who don't know how to handle their emotions that awful Martha but I fixed her once I found that feelings were the key it was so easy same with Ed Carwell he didn't like anyone calling him a grease monkey and he certainly didn't know how to handle his feelings [Music] no question about the tie up between Eddie's feelings and that broken hand same way with Martha and her wedding ring that Ring's a symbol to Martha a symbol for everything she hoped she'd find in marriage only fool that she is human as she is she married Jeff Hoover and Jeff's First Love was always the bottle so Martha Waits at home and twists her ring that's the way it is with these crazy humans tension keeps boiling up in them like the soup in Martha's sapin it's always been right there primed and waiting for the moment when they bump up against a dangerous situation and when they do well chalk up another accident why why because emotions distract of course those boiling feelings they take people's minds off dangerous situations and when that happens it's just a matter of time until this Aster strikes like with Martha if she stops to think about it she knows hot soup can scald and that it's important to be careful in the kitchen but here it is nearly 7:30 that means Jeff stopped off at Jack's Place so Martha's all upset and angry she doesn't know what to do and not knowing she's blinded by the boiling up of her emotions those feelings of hers they distract her from the dangers of stoves and pans and boiling soup Jeff's problem isn't quite the same as Martha's whiskey isn't really at the heart of it either you see back when he was younger he got all in a swiid over her well over part of her [Music] anyway so they were married only then Jeff found out there was just one thing wrong with Martha she didn't have anything in that pretty head of hers but buckwheat [Music] batter that's when Jeff really started hitting the bottle he knows it isn't Martha's fault she's stupid but she just plain pours him to tears trouble is boredom is a distraction too if you're living in a dream world you can't pay attention to reality and that gives accidents a chance to happen Jeff didn't die but if he had the preacher likely would have called it a tragic accident even though the certificate should have read died of boredom not all distractions are inside people of course lots of them come from outside if it hadn't been for the phone ringing nothing might ever have happened to that angely woman poor Mrs Angley she always did wonder what that phone call was about even when it looks like a distraction all outside more often than not there are still some feelings mixed in somewhere like Sid he claimed it was an accident when Patty banged her head actually things were tight at the shop when Sid tried to unload his tensions with silly horse play Patty got hurt oh look at Jane because those two blats of hers were blowing off steam all out of control she fell down [Music] it needn't have happened of course not if that idiot female had showed a grain of Common Sense after all you only have to pay attention to three simple rules to put an end to accidents in any home [Music] one pay attention to your feelings [Music] two beware of [Music] boredom three watch out for dangerous [Music] situations that's all there is to it but how many humans are smart enough to follow the rules like with Jane she knows she gets tense and on edge on cleaning day so she ought to paste signs all around in her head in Big Red Letters slow down watch out don't rush into anything all right you kids you know the rules about those D guns but of course handling it like that would have been too intelligent for a human same way with cleaning it bores Jane worse than anything she does do that's why it makes her edgy so you'd think she'd have sense enough to change jobs often take a break try something more interesting for a while work a little on her new dress maybe you see now is the time to finish the cleaning after she's calmed down of course it was a good idea to get Ted and water out the living room that electric cord made it a dangerous situation all right you kids out out out [Music] Jame wasn't that smart though so now she has a wrenched back and she'll have more before I'm through with her call me an eyesore will she m m j what is it what's wrong what is it take it easy you must have been having a nightmare oh that only was a dream no you can't imagine if that clock in the living room you know we've been over that confounded clock a dozen times we can't get rid of it my mother would have a fit but it's aive talking to me talking me it hates me that's why I had this accident and it says I'll keep on having them it must be those pills the doctor gave you you're just imagining things no Mill that clock talked it did it did she's so right of course but she won't get anyone to believe her and by the time she's up and about she won't be sure of anything herself but she will keep having accidents she can count on that well Jane it's good see you up can't get you down until you're up you know now we need to set the stage for that next accident make it seem properly accidental tiger here should do nicely to trip over a little temper will help too what's going on around here this morning aren't you going to get me any breakfast well your majesty maybe it's just about time you got your own breakfast now an outside distraction to get things moving here we go Jan did you learn anything from that last time you had an accident what are you talking about let go of me you big babon you know what I mean you're a to break your neck if you go charging out of here in all directions please honey mil I must be crazy and after that Nightmare and all those good resolutions I made about being careful thanks m oh you crazy dog do you want someone to fall over you isn't that enough to give you fits but I can afford a few slips time still on my side maybe I can do better here in the kitchen [Music] hi M this is Jane so why don't you come over and have a cup of coffee with me I've been cleaning this house all day and I'm just about to go out of my mind okay say bring that new pattern of yours I'd like to look at it okay I'll see you in a little while [Music] bye why I don't believe it don't tell me that girl's beginning to use her head well I'll get her yet a dog and a cat on Sunday morning might just turn the trick that's it h girl H hey Jane what gar oh Tiger has a cat up a tree but you know I guess I'm getting smart in my old age he'll just have to learn about cats on his own I'm not about to go charging out there in my night clothes so there you old lior aren't you disappointed come on back to bed you carer by that insolent young Jezebel I'll teach her bang bang bang I got you come on well I don't know all right now kid you remember what Mom said oh you Dro that's it boy yeah I did I did I did [Music] give me that gun [Applause] get my Springs my gears my face oh why was I such a fool I'm as bad as that stupid female Jane worse even because I knew better but I hated her so I didn't even take my own ad advice I let my feelings run away with me just as if I were human so now there'll be another clock here taking my place my place and me a treasured heirloom gift of mil's own mother why did I ever interfere when I knew that accidents are bound to happen when you take time out for trouble [Music] for