This 1950s Bike Safety Film Eliminated Its Entire Cast One by One

[music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> This story is about 10 rather close relations of ours who seem to get into almost exactly the same kind of trouble we do. All 10 of these jolly characters lived in the same neighborhood and were all good friends. Uh generally speaking. Each of them had a bicycle and each took care of his bicycle in exactly the way that he took care of himself. One day they held a group think and decided to have a picnic in a little park just nine blocks away. Now that doesn't sound far, but a lot can happen in nine blocks, right? Well, sound off out there. I said, "Right?" Right. So, they all ran home and made themselves sandwiches. I know that doesn't sound too likely, but of course uh they're not quite human. Then they hurried back all ready to go. Now, one of the 10 was a rather hungry type. His name was Slim Jim McUppney and his picnic lunch was what you might call a um portable banquet, right? Right. Slim knew that his big sack would be hard to handle, so he asked Orville Slump if he'd carry it for him. Orville had a basket on the rear of his bike. He was a good sort and he answered, "Okay." Some of the others noticed this and asked him if he'd carry theirs, too. Orville answered graciously, "Well, I guess so." And naturally everybody else did the same until Orville's rear basket looked like a chuck wagon. At last they were ready to go and at a given signal they went. >> [music] [music] [music] >> Now this is Rootie Toot Jasperson. He had the newest bike in the bunch and he was as proud of it as he could be. He made it a point to get in the lead and there he intended [music] to stay. It would seem that Rootie Toot was a slam bang go-getter headed for big things in life, right? Right. But when you have to be first all the time, there are a few things you find you don't have time for. Such things as making [music] hand signals. Oh, he knew very well that bike riders are supposed to signal just like auto drivers. Hand [music] down for slow or stop. Hand up for right turn. Hand straight out for left turn. But pretty soon he began to feel silly making so many signals to stay out in front. So he skipped one to rest his poor old tired arm. Just one signal, once. At this point Rootie Toot Jasperson left the party. >> [music] [music] >> This charming little thing was actually christened Tinkerbell McBilling Fibby. She's a sweet and lovely girl, but she has a rather poor memory. Sometimes she forgets to brush her teeth. Sometimes she leaves homework at home and sometimes she forgets to look at traffic signals. Now she knows that she should. She knows that she should ride just like auto drivers drive. But she's so busy being happy all the time that her little thoughts tend to wander and oh dear, dear, they're wandering again. Here she goes. Exit Tinkerbell McBilling Fibby. She forgot now and then. Now, let me introduce Philip Flugal. He's a star athlete, the president of his class, an honor student and he has the handsomest profile in school. Just look at it, will you? Now, Flugal, as his friends call him, >> [music] >> has one little flaw in his character. He is very easily bored. Right now he's asking himself why everyone has to go up this side of the street. It's so samey. So, proving that even a class president can make mistakes, he decided to ride against traffic. Oh, he knows that auto drivers never do this and that he should follow the very same traffic rules. But he's in the mood to do something different. Anyway, there are no policemen around to see him. Philip Flugal is no longer bored. >> [music] >> You've probably wondered about this fellow on foot. Well, his name is Mosby Pomegranate. [music] He is splendid in dramatics, but he works so hard memorizing his lines that he doesn't get around to a lot of other things. He never made it down to register his bike and get a license for it. He knows very well that a license makes it [music] easy to find out who he is if he's in an accident and makes the bike easy [music] to trace if it's lost or stolen. That's his trouble. Last week, while he was rehearsing the lead in King Kong, someone rode off with his bike. He went to the police, [music] but of course they couldn't help him since it had no license or registration. He stomped out of the police station angrily and he's been stomping ever since. Farewell, Mosby Pomegranate, victim of fallen arches. >> [music] >> If you look carefully, you'll see Trigby Fibbs. He's the smaller one in the clips trying to make that bike go. His passenger is an old friend of ours, Slim Jim McUppney. Slim Jim's bike recently collapsed from the effects of his diet and Trigby, being a nice little fellow, agreed to ride him. Now, he knows that no auto driver would drive with [music] a passenger in his lap. He also knows that you can't see a head very well with someone on the handlebars and that you can't control the bike well. And that you can't make signals, either. Furthermore, it is tiring. Right? Right. >> [music] [music] >> So long, fellas. There seems to be a flaw in the buddy system. >> [music] [music] >> Meet Nelly Swaibach. She's as nice as can be on foot. But when she gets on that bike, sweet Nelly becomes terribly impatient with other people's driving. Although there are only a few left now, she's having trouble sharing the street with them. So, Nelbert is about to make a decision she'd never make if she weren't angry. There she goes. There she goes. She knows that riding on the sidewalk isn't allowed in her city and many others. And that even where it is, pedestrians always have the right of way. But Nelbert's upset. And she'd like to know just one good reason why she shouldn't take over the sidewalk all to herself. Nelbert Swyback got her one good reason. >> [music] [music] >> Those noises you hear come from the transportation of Filbert Bagel. Filbert hates his old bike. He refuses to take care of it because his folks will probably give him a new one for his birthday. He can't see any reason for taking care of a heap of junk even if he made it that way himself. He will in a moment though. You see he doesn't know it, but he'll find out that there's not a shred of a brake left. Now, Filbert would be the first to agree that if it's worth riding, it's worth taking care of. Right? Right. >> [music] [music] >> Quickly meet Stanislaus [music] Higginbottom while you can. He's a nice boy, but he won't be with us long. >> [music] [music] >> You are now looking straight at Stanislaus Higginbottom. He has neither lights nor reflectors. Stanislaus just wasn't quite bright enough. All of which leaves Arthur. >> [music] [music] [music] >> He'll get fat all right. And here's why he ended up with all these groceries that he doesn't really want. This was Rudy Toot Jefferson. Maybe you remember why he didn't make the picnic. He didn't signal just once. Do you recall Tinkerbell McTilling City? She forgot to watch the signals just once. And good old Phil Flugal? He rode up the wrong side of the street once. Mosby Pomegranate was the [music] walking one. He didn't get around to registering his bike and getting a license. It would have taken him [music] only a few minutes. The small one was Trigby Phipps and his passenger [music] was Slim Jim McOughtry. They rode double into trouble. Who can forget [music] Nelbert Swyback? She wanted to know one good reason why the sidewalk shouldn't belong to her. Then there was Filbert Bagel. He didn't take care of his brakes, so they didn't take [music] care of him. And good old Stanislaus Higginbottom, no lights, no reflector, no Stanislaus. >> [music] >> So that's why Arthur Slump is picnicking alone today. He watched the signals. He obeyed [music] traffic signs. He made hand signals. He rode along. He stayed on the right side of the street. Got a license. Rode just like other drivers drive and kept the brakes and all in good condition. And he got fat. Of course, it was very lonely. But not as lonely as this. But then, as anyone can plainly see, he wasn't a monkey. Right? Now, that sounds as if you really mean it. Right? >> [music] [bell]