THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF TRAINS

foreign [Music] Corporation presents the wonderful world of trains [Music] starring the cesare puppets smile Paul O'Keefe [Applause] Mr rougie I'll put you here so you can get away in a hurry Mr policeman I'll put you here so you can see everything [Music] Mr Professor I'll put you right [Music] thank you yeah yeah yusa yusa me where am I who are you I am Professor Herman J HotBox and you are in the wonderful world of trains yes indeed that's where you are trains trains trains and they're all late oh my but you can talk of course I can talk I have been talking for years started when I was 14 months old and I my dad I'm getting Mighty tired of waiting for the show to start for I am the narrator and guide for the wonderful world of trains oh yes wonderful world of trains late they're all late late [Music] and a pardon me Professor have you been around Long around long oh 65 years birthdays next week no no no no I mean have you been waiting here long here long too long oh yes much too long waiting for the show to start you know the wonderful world of trains trains hundreds of trains all late all late well I'm looking for a man about your height who calls himself algae a disreputable looking fellow needs a shame wearing old clothes if you see him let me know man disreputable of course of course thank you professor wonderful world of trains late late they're all late late late late [Music] there's plenty of action truths and fun across the hills and plains because you control the countryside it's all it's your command the finest trains you ever saw the switches in your hand so no matter how old or young you are from 6 to 65 when you're in the wonderful world of trains it's great to be alive oh it's great to be [Music] well bless my soul what have we here don't tell me let me guess an ad for a dull razor no offense my good man just making a little joke a disreputable looking character If Ever I saw one the professor I suggest you either stop breathing or back up you're using up my air better still lie down let's both take a snooze I'm waiting for a fast Freight myself you know yes [Music] welcome welcome boys and girls of all ages this is your Master of Ceremonies George dink whistle welcoming you to the wonderful world of trains now for the first time you are about to see a most remarkable exhibition of electric trains trains so finely detailed you'll have to look twice to tell them from the real ones and description of these on yesterday today and tomorrow we are honored to have as our guide and old train man an expert on trains track and travel Professor Herman J HotBox Professor hotboxy fast asleep oh too bad pity to wake him he needs his sleep but no matter for no man knows more about trains than I Algernon caboose you boy pop those eyeballs back in their sockets and come alive you look like a puppet come on boy I need an assistant and you're it they can talk and move all by themselves I declare boy you act like I wasn't real come now throw that switch the wonderful world of change is about to begin [Applause] [Music] Kin did I say begin why the fact is the wonderful world of trains has been going on for years oh yes wonderful wonderful trains the very side of them recalls the romance of far away places how well I recall my days as gatekeeper in the little railroad town of wet moccasin used to set by the hour hand on the gate waiting for the silver media to high ball on through for five years I just sat there and marveled at the great speed of that train a train too fast to see what the naked eye and then that day two o'clock on a Thursday it was I found out the truth that blur I thought was the media to earned nothing but a smear of hair oil on my sunglasses no the disappointment of it all that silver media never came closer than 50 miles from wet moccasin seems they ran out of track and never told me five years I waited five Wasted Years but through it all my love of trains never dimmed I still get a thrill when I see those steel wheels cracking along the rails all the thought of them speeding along the Hills and Valleys gleaming Monsters of Steel racing racing over Bridges and signals flashing no it overwhelms me boy overwhelms me who is that a diesel Streamliner trains I do boy I do but I'm a freight man myself I think I hear her coming now a fully loaded Freight a truly magnificent sight what kind of afraid is that that's a United States Navy diesel Freight roughest toughest fighting train there is hmm well what do you know a whale with a top hat that's not a whale algae that's a replica of a real Navy submarine and it really works knew it all the time boy just testing you mighty smart young fella you are too reminds me of myself when I was a boy a positive genius I was too is my dear mother used to say Algernon she called me Elgin on Elgin on she'd say science has been waiting for a head like yours for over a million years boy did I hear you say that submarine really works you actually works and take her off the special car and launch her she Dives cruises into water and surfaces just like a real sub oh yes when the test run is over the loader on the special sub carrying flat car oh very fine very fine but boy you're forgetting that I Algernon Caboose I'm the narrator here I'm sorry LG I didn't mean to take over here you tell us about the next car oh yes of course of course the next cop is a magnificent specimen perfect in every detail Flawless in design it's the uh the algae describe it everyone wants to know how it works ah yes the train oh yeah it's beautiful isn't it it's called a memory lapse you mean helicopter car don't you algae took the words right out of my mouth boy and this real looking helicopter takes off from its specially designed flat car deck watch this I'm watching I'm watching boy from a distance off she goes into the air how's that correctionality action sounds sounds boy I'm quivering with excitement ah wonderful feeling it is too algae get off the trail and tell us about the next car oh yes uh the next uh oh yes the Magnificent banana car oh four ripe bananas algae those are not bananas this is a missile firing car and I am mounting these four missiles for firing oh yes just testing to see if you're Wide Awake a little trick of mine you know the missile firing car of course with missiles that really fire really fire that's right algae these missiles really fire see that freight car on that siding over there it's my kind of freight car say boy did I ever tell you how I pulled a freight car full of apples over 10 miles uphill just for the exercise could have pulled it another 10 if I wasn't so full of apples what you gonna do now never mind algae just give me the countdown and watch that freight car ten nine eight gotcha boy seven six five four three two one [Music] disaster complete disaster zones boy look what you've done to my favorite Freight oh the pity of it don't worry algae that car is made to fall apart when it's hit but you can put it right together again excuse me son did I hear you speak to someone by the name of algae well he was right here a minute ago missed him again thank you boy relax boy Algernon Caboose is back ready to expound with unfailing accuracy the X static Beauty and magnificent Perfection of the wonderful world of trees oh The Wonder of it the whole Countryside full of realist life electric trains everyone complete down to the finest detail boy unless these old eyes of mine deceive me there is a stupendous crash in the offing [Music] don't worry algae everything's under control control Fiddlesticks I fear I'm about to witness a veritable crash at the century he cared I can't look oh [Music] poor algae he's faded wait algae wake up I tell you officer I didn't do it I was in Africa at the time rounding up giraffes for different offers circus the policeman don't bother me officer can't you see I'm enjoying a wonderful dream ah the beauty of it my African giraffes captured everyone myself loaded them on a special freight train you never saw such a train loaded with giraffes as far as the eye could see oh a thrilling sight it's no dream algae there really is a giraffe car in a wonderful world of trains giraffe cars and they're wonderful like you said but algae were you really an Africa hunting big game boy you are looking upon the only hunter in the world to catch a full-grown African elephant with a butterfly net I must admit the net was reinforced you understand the dead what a feat of Daring it was second only to the way I say that I had to be free from complete disaster you prevented a train wreck I think you're fooling me boy if I'm fooling me a freight full of fish come down the track hey it's an aquarium car and you can see the fish swimming around inside it foreign [Music] car with fish that swim around me how did you save a train from a wreck or is that another fish story fish historian deed your insult hurts me to the car boy to the very core but if my admirer is insist on hearing my story yeah let's get on with it ah yes a clear and sunny day it was not more than two weeks ago I was in my usual position beside the track waiting for the fast freighter to hatch feet didn't mind the wait a bit oh there was so much to see there was Willie fliegel fluger the railroad maintenance man going back and forth on his motorized huh good man that Willy used to be the foreman in a yo-yo Factory couldn't stand the monotony so he changed his job and not so far off they were unloading a load of lumber from one of those newfangled Lumber cars beautiful sight to see Wilson I must have been waiting for an hour or more when suddenly she came round the bend that had to be frank nope it was the General steaming full speed down the main line Freddy is a picture she was then suddenly she slowed right smack in the middle of the right away boy that engineer just eased up on his throttle while he ate his lunch you see it was a mighty hot day and he didn't want to take any chances on his cheese sandwiches going bad then it happened his teeth spoiled no no no the Tehachapi Freight came a barreling down the main line on the same track as the general closer and closer she came but that engineer in the general just kept on eating his sandwich I tell you boy you never saw such excitement in your life none she came heading straight for the generous middle I acted with the speed of light reached out my foot and kicked the switch not a second too soon Paris right off my shoe gosh please please boy it was nothing [Music] Caboose where traveler storyteller self-appointed guide hero of the wonderful world of trains I didn't do it I was miles from here whileing my time away at a drive-in movie oh yes I remember the picture well about a policeman who arrested the wrong man got 20 years that policemen did Elgin on I'm not here to arrest you you're not I represent the owners of the Tehachapi Freight Line ah yes the tehachapri I shall long have a soft spot in my heart for that magnificent train many of the nights I spent watching the stars from an egg crate on one of her smooth riding flat cards to have to be Freight yes algae the Tehachapi railroad has asked me to present you with this gold medal has a token of their gratitude for saving their train from a wreck [Music] gosh algae I hope you forgive me for doubting you I thought your story was just well just a story oh I think nothing of it boy remember when you're in the wonderful world of trains all kinds of wonderful things can happen action Thrones excitement Wheels the glint of Steel rails oh it gets you boy I tell you there's nothing like it nothing like the wonderful world of trains oh did someone say the wonderful world of trains oh my goodness my goodness I must be getting on with it you sir can you tell me the time the time I mustn't be late for I am the guide for the wonderful world of trains you know yeah yeah the time the time sir the time me thinks it's time for me to leave beyond the question of a doubt it is time for me to leave [Music] there's plenty of action Thrills and fun across the hills and plains because you control the countryside it's all it's your command the finest trains you ever saw the switches in your hand so no matter how old or young you are from 60 to 65 when you're in the wonderful land of trains it's great to be alive oh it's great to be a lame hmm Odd Fellow curious set of circumstances uh are you there officer officer what can I do for you professor the show the show when does it start start the show Oh you mean the wonderful world of trains why Professor it's just about over it seems you fell asleep and a fella by the name of algae took over for you asleep I fell asleep algae took over where is he where is he that that that that raggedy Road he he put me to sleep to sleep to sleep hope to sleep [Music] foreign [Music] come on dear it's getting late [Music] you can return to your wonderful world of trains tomorrow [Music] [Music] did it the wonderful world of trains has been presented by the Lionel Corporation [Music] foreign [Music]