The Very Idea (1954)

[Music] This is a story of a haunted house. At least it used to be haunted. How do I know? Well, you see, this is our house. Mine and my husband and little daughters. Oh, there were no spooks clanking around at midnight, but it was haunted all the same. Haunted by the ghost of my husband's uncle Henry, who passed the house on down to us. Now, let me take you back a few months, and I'll show you what I mean. Cath is trying to sleep. >> I have to make some noise. I can't drive these nails with a sponge. >> Well, you've repaired that old relic of a table so many times. I think it'd be easier to throw it out and buy a new one. >> Look. I know we've been all over this before and I know this table is an old relic. That's why I like it around. Uncle Henry made this with his own hands. >> How many families do you know of that can boast of a homemade table? It's still doing active service after 43 years. >> Active service? Only thing active about that table is the way it collapses. >> Don't worry about it. It's as good as new. This time she's really fixed. Well, I'd still prefer a new table. Say something that brought us up even with the SpanishAmerican War. H, look at the quality in this table. Look at that wood. Look at the workmanship. Why Uncle Henry had turned over in his grave. He thought we'd give this old table away. Besides, I fixed this horse just for a second. See what I mean? Uncle Henry was always threatening to turn over in his grave if I so much as dreamed of changing anything around the house. Uncle Henry built this house and built it to last, as George will tell you, at the drop of a loose door knob. [Music] And whenever we had company, George would conduct a regular cooks tour through the house, pointing out Uncle Henry's handiwork. Solid oak. Solid mahogany. What workmanship? >> All with a low bow to old Uncle Henry's picture hanging on the wall. >> Look at the size of this kitchen, Joe. Hey, they don't build them like this anymore. Me, I like plenty of room to move around in. Well, how does your wife feel about it with all those extra footsteps? >> Oh, Jane, she loves it. Say, have you ever seen our bathroom? >> No, George, I haven't. Well, come on up. I want to show you the wonderful plumbing fixtures Uncle Henry put in there. Okay, let's have a look. Same way in the bathroom. Lots of room in there, too. Big, heavy, substantial fixtures like the first armored tank. And just about as stylish. >> Good, solid, substantial walls. Not a crack anywhere. >> Good, solid, substantial lumber. Don't see carpentry work like that around your door frames. Not these days. Great work, boy. >> And don't you dare be thankful about it either. Not when George is around. >> Then one day came the crisis. I was late with my housework and was trying to get things in some kind of order before George came home from the office, but it was an uphill job all the way. Then suddenly >> Jane, >> Jane, >> up here. >> Oh, wait. You see what I found? Dear >> Jane, where do you see the bargain I picked up on the way home? A self-sitting wrench. You know what I paid for it? >> George, I want to talk to you about the bathroom. >> Yeah. Yeah, but let me show you how this thing works. George, I want to talk to you about the bathroom. The >> bathroom? >> The bathroom. And when we finish talking about the bathroom, we're going to talk about the kitchen. >> Well, there's nothing like planning a conversation. That's what I always say. >> Well, we might as well start with the bathtub. >> The tub. >> Now, for one thing, did you ever realize that anytime I want to give little Kathy a bath or take a bath myself? In order to clean the tub out, I've got to swish all the water uphill to get it to drain. >> Well, that's funny. I never have that trouble. >> That is funny. Maybe that's why I have so much trouble cleaning it out after you've used it. >> Well, well, Jay, we'll we'll just put a couple of blocks under the back legs. >> Oh, George. And the shower shower? What am I saying? That torture chamber. Now, just take a look at the wash stand. All the porcelain chipped off. The faucets are loose. And the drain doesn't even hold water. The whole thing looks like a refugee from a museum. And in order to get to the towel rack, you have to first bump your toes against the hamper. I haven't finished yet. Come into the kitchen. Now, how would you like to work in surroundings like these all day? Inspiring, isn't it? This dear old sink were any lower, I'd have to wash the dishes on my knees and the stove. Now, if it were any further away from the sink, I'd need a bicycle to get around. And the rest of is this this junk. Looks as if the mover come right in and dumped it and ran. I can't say I'd blame him. I'd like to run myself. But then I might trip over this antique table of yours and break it all up. >> All right, Jane. If it'll make you any happier, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll Well, I'll rebuild this table and bring it up to date. >> The table? >> Yeah. >> Well, bully for you, Mr. Hayes. If you have any nails left over, maybe you'll redo the refrigerator for me someday. >> On now, Jane, look. >> Oh, George, I have looked. I've looked at Match Cummings new kitchen and bathroom and the darling new bathroom that Sue Winter's put in. And Jenny Adams, she has a new dishwasher with a a disposal unit and a new refrigerator. Then I've got to come home and look at this. >> A ho. What does that mean? >> Looks like you've been looking at this. >> Well, what if I have? >> Come to your crane plumbing dealer for ideas. >> Well, I realize that Uncle Henry would never approve, and I don't care. The revolution has come. You and I are going to start remodeling our kitchen and bath right now. >> I hadn't intended to be quite so hard on poor George, but I was simply fed up. Fed up with those two antiquated, depressing old rooms. So, next weekend we started planning our changes. We began with the bathroom. >> Well, the first thing I better do is start getting rid of the old fixtures. Huh? >> Well, but George, we haven't even ordered the new ones yet. Besides, I want some kind of an idea to follow. Plan of some sort. >> Well, there's plenty of good ideas around, Jane. You're running them every day. I tell you what you do. You just look through the magazines and newspapers when you come across something that you really like. Why? And then we'll get down to the plumbing store and price them. >> Well, but darling, now wouldn't it be better to call a plumber in right now? He's had some good suggestions. >> You'll get plenty of ideas, James. In the meantime, I'm going to start taking the old tub out. >> So, while George went to work on the bathtub, I began pouring over magazines, newspapers, and anything else I could get my hands on. Oh, I saw lots of nice arrangements, lots of practical layouts, except that somehow, well, they just didn't seem to fit in our place. A window was in the wrong place. A wall should be here instead of there. A door opened the wrong way. The fixtures were never where they should be. After a lot of concentrated searching, the only thing we'd accomplished was to disconnect the tub. Everything was the same as before, except that now we couldn't take a bath. That was the turning point. >> George had asked our neighbor Joe Kendall to help him carry the tub outside. >> I was getting ready to spread newspapers over the hall carpet when Joe said, >> "George, this is a pretty big job. I hope you've got a good plan to follow." >> Plan? I got all kinds of plans. >> All kinds? See, how many can you follow all at once? Well, I'm a guy that sort of likes to feel his way around, you know, one thing at a time. >> Well, how's it going to look when it's all finished? >> Oh, will you see it? >> I should live so long. >> Don't you see, George? If if you go along like this, your bathroom will be torn up for weeks, months. You'll never know exactly where you're going. You won't know. >> Oh, I'll figure something out. Well, you did all right when you remodeled. >> Yeah, but I had some ideas. Expert ideas. No, I don't go for this hit or miss stuff. I had a plan. You mean you had someone make up a design for you? >> Yeah. I had Ben Crawford, the plumber, help me. >> Yeah, sure. See, George, I'm oldfashioned. For plumbing, I go to a plumber. And for plumbing ideas, I go to a plumber, too. Well, this Crawford has really got something on the ball. He's got stuff down there that would knock your eye out. And he's got ideas, too. you know, not just what tub to buy or what wash stand to use, but where to put them, how to arrange the rooms so that they look good and still work out for the family. >> So, I think he's pretty good, eh? >> Sure. You want to see some of those houses he's worked on? Well, the East Gate subdivision. Ben put in every bit of heating and plumbing on those places. >> I've seen some of them. They're beautiful. Well, well, I'll think it over. In the meantime, let's get this tough out of here. Huh? >> Well, now, wait a minute. Before you do that, let me put newspapers down so you won't track up the rug any more than you have to. >> Get a hold of that in there. [Applause] >> All right. Now, start turning. Okay. All right. >> A little more to the left. Easy, boy. Easy does it. >> You going to clear the face? >> Yeah. Little higher in your huh? >> Easy now. >> Jane, for the love of Pete, what a time to read a newspaper. >> Oh, excuse me. No. Oh, go on right ahead. It's all right. >> You think this thing is made of whipped cream? It's really heavy. Boy, take it easy. Joe, hold it. Easy now. You all right? >> I got in the car and drove up to Ben Crawford's place on Market Street. Oh, he has a beautiful store. >> Good morning, Mrs. Hayes. >> Good morning. My goodness, you have a beautiful place here. >> Do you like it? Well, it's not much like our old ideas of what a plumber's place would look like, is it? >> All of you want the old time atmosphere of the shop is out back. >> Well, that's not really what I'm interested in. >> What I'm after is a new bathroom and kitchen. The only trouble is, I just don't seem to be able to settle on any one practical idea. >> Well, that can be a problem. All right. There are a lot of fine plans to >> trouble, which is the best plan for my home. You've been out there enough, Mr. Crawford, to remember it. Maybe you can help me find the >> for me to drop out there and look at the place over morning. >> Could you do that? >> Well, I have some layouts and plans right here. Why don't we look some of them over so you'll have something to think about? >> That'd be wonderful. >> Fine. There's a sketchbook of ideas that I'd like you to see. Right over here at the idea center. >> Oh, Mr. Crawford. Um, I wonder if you'd do me a favor. Don't mention to my husband I went someplace else for help. >> Well, I'm afraid that's going to be a little difficult. >> Difficult? Why? Why George? >> The word to you. >> Me handle this whole thing. Say, um, did you hear anything? Nothing like a man turning over in his grave, huh? >> Oh, it's you. >> Hi. >> So, you caught me. Well, see what kind of ideas this guy has. >> Well, over and let me see, too. >> You know, Uncle Henry always said, >> "George, let's Right." They were beautiful. Perfect dreams of page after page. Such beautiful bathrooms, kitchens to fit almost any home [Music] would fit our home. A kitchen where I I understand you install all the fixtures. Crawford. >> Be glad. on the two plans you selected. You might take them along and look them over. >> Worries were over. Here were years of experience taking our problems in hand. Just as easy as your >> You sure this baseboard business does the job? All right. >> I'm telling. And another thing if I were you and then over here just >> Why does this have to go? >> Now, show you something. You ever see workmanship like that? >> Oh, I mean, if it's something special you want to keep. >> Well, it's something special. All right. But we don't want to keep it. >> A man's with his own hands. It's just that I hate to see old things like this. On the other hand, Mr. Hayes, there's some fine things. Please look here. You see what I mean? See how those towel and linen shelves fit right in? That is a fine old cabinet. >> That's all right, Mr. Clay. As Ben measured and made, I could just see that dream kitchen of mine taking shape. He showed us the best arrangements for the and where to put them. He suggested garbage disposal unit. Well, here again the heating was a problem. But Ben advised putting it up a old baseboard at the ceiling idea. And he also recommended that because of all the space I had up the laundry equipment from that damp, dingy basement. This made my kitchen a place where I could do all my chores. And all the time he talked, he kept saying, "My experience has been." And George and I knew that here was someone who knew what he was talking about. And when he to show the variety of products from which we could do the fixtures for our rooms. [Music] Well, after the layouts for the two rooms were decided on, and after we had carefully studied the product booklet he had left with us, the next step was to make a final selection of the fixtures and appliances themselves. Here again, Mr. Crawford was a wonderful help with his ideas. >> Now, this new Marshall model laboratory would be a good bet. It's a smartly style countertop lavatory with the trim mounted on a bevel control panel for maximum convenience. Notice the large semi- oval basin most. This is the Drexel Closet, a very good seller. A lot of people like this M. It has a strong, vigorous cleansing action and the price is reasonable. We've sold a lot of these. >> Then after we'd seen the fixtures, Ben drew up a list of what we'd need, gave us an idea on delivery, and told us how much it would cost. Well, you don't get things for nothing these days, you know. Ben's prices were most reasonable, but it was a pretty big job we had in mind. And well, it it did add up. But as Ben said himself, >> cost a lot of money. Sure, it's a big investment, but think how it increases the resale value of your house, plus the comfort and convenience you'll enjoy. Now, if you'd care to finance the deal, I could work it out with bank for you on a monthly payment basis. Then you can enjoy it as you pay for it. 5320 one. How many things do I have to give up this summer to afford this? Can I afford it? What will Uncle Henry think? For that matter, what will Jane think? >> Can I afford to do without this kitchen? >> Can you afford to do without Jane? [Applause] Okay, a deal. >> George. Oh, you are a darling. A few days later, the work began. How's it going? >> The prophet's assistant got the old fixtures out in jig time, and the only thing that held up the work at all was George trying to tear out the old linen cabinet. >> Hi, Ben. back door was open. So, I thought I'd see if you'd ready for my men to begin the installation. This is a tougher job than I thought. If I were you, I'd use a pinch bar on that wood. You'll just break that screwdriver. Don't worry about me. Pitch bar, you say? Huh? Well, I haven't got one. Got one in the back of the car. Wait a second. I'll bring it in to you. There we are. It's when they're for keeps. When Uncle Henry built anything, boy, he built it to last. >> Those smoothies in there going to give you some trouble, too. It's probably as strong as a rocket all. >> Well, hope it doesn't take too long. We're all set to start. You know, I hate to admit this. Look like a million bucks. I'd hate to be the one that's holding up. >> Well, I could get the job done for you. Wouldn't cost much money. And the fellow's a good workman. Yeah. You mean uh sort of take the whole thing off my hands, huh? Sure thing. He'll handle the carpentry work, flooring, cabinets, and so on. Oh, I know a fellow gets a kick out of working at his own place like I do, but where there's so much to do in so little time. Yeah. Well, I'll think about it. Okay. So long, Mr. H. Salam, Ben. >> He thought about it. All right. And once he got used to the idea of strange hand George decided to let Mr. Crawford take over the whole thing. The way the new bathroom took shape, magic. The new tub and shower, the closet, the new lavatory, the towel rack, soap dishes, the fin a dream come true. Using the very same space, Mr. Crawford had transformed it into a beautiful, attractive room that included the dressing table and counter space I'd always wanted. And then he took his ideas, his experiences, his workmanship into the kitchen. More magic, more dreams coming true. Ben said once that no two kitchens are alike. Each one presents its own problems. But the way he took the basic ideas in his store and adapted them to our particular needs, well, that was something to see. The kitchen I'd seen in the book had now Ben Crawford had given us a kitchen and utility room that was beautiful yet so efficient and convenient that the usual That's the very idea for us. When I saw this kitchen in Ben's idea book finished, we asked our neighbors the candles to come over and see it. >> I've never seen a kitchen so beautiful. >> Well, in a way, we owe it all to you, Joe. >> Say that's right. You're the one that put us on a bankrupt job for you. >> Oh, we're really happy with it. Of course, we haven't got the open space we had in the old one. No, but I have more room to work in without running up the mileage every time I had of water. Wide open spaces are all right out of the prairies, but I traded in any day week for a convenient kitchen and a laundry that didn't make me think it was in an old >> then we >> remember the old stuff we used to have in here. Good solid stuff. But you know what's matter with you, James? Except that if the sun comes up tomorrow morning in the west, it won't surprise he had gone. George and I headed upstairs to bed. >> Say Jane. >> H. >> No. What, dear? >> Oh, I was just wondering. >> No, George. Not this air case. >> Why not? >> Well, but Uncle Henry built it with his own hands. >> So what? You thought Uncle Henry was that he must have had some ideas before he started building. Well, I've got sal or at least I know where I can go and get them from trained experts. And another thing, you know that extra closet we have in the hall? What a powder room that would Why don't we talk to Crawford about it someday? See what he has to suggest. >> Why? [Applause]