The Frustrating Fours and Fascinating Fives (1953)

[Music] Four years old, asleep is a cuddly darling, but when he wakes, his day is off to a busy start. Not all fours are early risers, but Rod is, and the morning is bound to bring some frustration for somebody. What an hour. His mother tries to inspire him to sleep by setting an example. But Rody is a doer, and when you read a magazine, you must discuss it. Of course. Mommy, who is that lady? >> Mhm. >> Who is she anyway? >> Look at the pictures, dear. Mommy wants to sleep. No matter what her answer, it's useless to try and sleep. Fours are forever dropping, losing, messing things. So often needing mommy's help. They have trouble carrying simple projects through to conclusion. It's one of the many things that makes them so frustrating. [Music] >> Come for breakfast, Rody. Breakfast. He can dress himself, but today he's forgotten what he set out to do. Daddy is needed to solve the riddle. Put down your shoes and then pull up your pants. Sound judgment, logic, knowing the easiest way to do things are all just in the beginning stage. Down at last, but with only one shoe. Whatever did he do with the other one? Dropped it, left it, lost it. Should she make him go get it? How much to do for them? How much to insist they do themselves? It's hard to know. This is an age of many such annoying episodes. He is a master of exasperating inattention. Fascinated by his own reflection, he pays no attention to the job in hand. But he can do things when he wants to. Perhaps more than anything else, this inconsistency is the most annoying to parents. For instance, rules that he accepted at 3, he now rejects at 4. His behavior seems to have deteriorated. He refused do a simple thing like coming when he's called. There is no point trying to beat it out of him. Father simply talks about something nice that will happen at school. This time it worked. It's only a stage. The experts say >> Rody's arrived. The teacher makes no comment about the door slamming because she knows that fouryear-olds are not just young fives, but in a special group by themselves. They're full of abandon, high drive, and energy that must be used in free play. Their imagination is vivid. [Music] >> Their character is expressed so well in the combination of real craftsmanship with the inconsistent pleasure of destruction. Playing house with child-siz equipment leads to practice in the social graces rather bluntly expressed at four. You can't come in. Fours give no quarter. Go away. They need adult help. Simple imaginative devices to assist them in playing together better. Like this is the lady with the cakes for tea. May I come in? A teacher of fours is busy every minute. She really needs to know her job. >> But there are gratifying moments, too. Fours can now carry a tune. Bck T. [Music] >> They can play simple musical games. [Music] >> They like their culture strenuous. It takes a clever teacher to keep them under control without apparent pressure. [Music] Quiet play at table lasts longer than at three. He is beginning to be able to cut more precisely. The paintings now have form. But when asked what it was, Mark said, "I don't know. I haven't finished it yet." But they shouldn't be given too much small fussy work to do. Even if they seem to delight in it, it soon becomes frustrating. This is the age of why and how. They need lots of time to see for themselves. We can help children become more aware of their surroundings. The teacher points out some of the simple things about the bus that we take for granted. Back at school, she sets the play for her fours, a bus made of blocks with paper tickets. They practice what they learned on their excursion. Of course, the bus may soon turn into a tank. Rod's mother is happy to have him in nursery school, mainly because he is an only child. She's glad he's having fun and learning to get along well with other children. However, in a tea party situation, she gets pretty discouraged. The small graces of just saying hello to granny are extra frills to the four-year-old. At this age, manners never can be counted on. Already, mother senses the disapproval of Granny and Aunt Elizabeth. But Granny doesn't expect the children to visit in the grown-up sense. She has a supply of toys to keep little hands busy. But even so, new things and new surroundings have infinite possibilities. [Applause] >> Ronnie, turn off the radio. >> Mother now uses desperate measures. >> Come away from that radio. >> No. >> Come away from the radio. >> No. >> Come away from that radio. >> No. Stinker. You bum. You You stinker. Dirty bum. Stinker. Name calling is awfully hard to cope with at any time, but especially in company. It takes time for a child to learn to handle criticism and to accept outside control with grace. Even when mother tries her best to help him regain mastery of himself, it's only a matter of minutes before another crisis. Granny thinks he should be old enough not to hog everything. She tries to reason with him, but Rody is just plain mad at all these nos. He realizes his mistake but can't say I'm sorry. He feels that everybody is against him. Mother is beginning to wonder if she is bringing him up the wrong way. Well, beating a hasty retreat is one solution. Rody knows he's made a botch of the tea party, but he can't figure out why all the fuss. Somehow, he blames his cousin. Instead of making things better, he makes them worse. Aunt Elizabeth is sure that her darling soon will never behave so abominably. Granny is not so sure that her daughter is not making a mistake with her modern methods. As relieved as his mother to have the pressures off, Rody immediately becomes his most engaging self. Yes, to be a mother of a four-year-old sometimes takes more patience and good humor than most humans can muster. But even if their behavior is often difficult, they are constantly learning about the world around them by questioning. They also absorb a great deal by observing. They begin to enjoy conforming to some of the rules of society. Fours have their bad moments, but they have their wonderful moments, too. As warm and exuberant as the bad ones are violent. It's fun to go with them as they learn to be independent. And back again to baby dependence. Rody is frustrating, but if you meet him on his own level, a lot of the frustration disappears. And of course, he'll soon be five. [Music] Here he is. Rody has lost his baby look. He's bigger. His whole figure is more compact and coordinated. Now Rody is an independent little person with a special routine all of his own. He can entertain himself without the constant support of adults that he seemed to need at 4. The morning goes smoothly, and Rody, who has dressed himself, is a real help at setting the table. But don't expect it every morning, mind you. He loves routine. The anticipation and fun of calling daddy each morning is important to him. >> Daddy, time for breakfast. >> At breakfast, he is the center of attention. He adores humor. The old joke with the empty eggshell is really more enjoyable than a new one. Mother, of course, pretends complete surprise. Children's humor is spontaneous, but like everything else, it grows with encouragement. Rod's off for his morning visit to the canary. What's the matter? Mommy and daddy have to come. Timmy is dead. Can Rody understand what that means? His questions should be honestly answered. He can accept the truth. Although there will be continuous questioning, watching, wondering. This is Rod's first experience with death. It will be a long time before he understands. A few minutes later, he's off happily to school. He goes by himself and enjoys the independence. 5-year-old classes are more controlled than they were at four. They still like to learn through doing. Here they are playing postman. It's fun and familiar. Now they can take some of their learning through talk and explanation. Here's another picture that says letter. This is the very beginning of formal learning and understanding how things fit into a pattern. Letters are carried on a train. Would they like to sing about a train? [Music] to close the train. [Music] >> Fives can follow varying rhythms. [Music] and translate them from voice and body to simple instruments. By five, they are able to listen for longer periods. [Music] Now imaginative play is high. You be the baby and I'll be the mother. The 5-year-old is curious about the whole business of babies and big people. He loves to play at being a baby. Fives can play together much better. Of course, when you want something, you just grab it. But they respond now quite quickly, even to mothers of their own age. Five's buildings are more realistic. They love to explain. This is a modern house. That's the living room the cat lives in there. They do free painting, of course, like the picture on the wall. But reading and writing is also taught through painting. Lines and circles, the beginning of printing. The fives can cooperate. They work hard and concentrate well. They are pleased with a job well done. >> Come on, Joe. Quick, get him. >> But let's remember, Rody needs lots of freedom, too. >> Now he's in on the cowboy games of the big boys. >> You got me. But not for long. Pointless as it seems to us, some rough stuff is good for them. >> Damn, man. >> Rody also likes to work on his own. It's important that he has the right materials, a real hammer and soft wood. Uh-oh. Those are the nails Addie said not to touch. Let's not fool ourselves. Fives are not all sweetness and light. All that for just one nail. He certainly pleased with his masterpiece. Did he put everything back? No. Rody, come here. Dad's exasperation is justified and he carries through his punishment. Rody is forbidden to use the bench for the rest of the week. Rody knows he did wrong. Dad wishes he could make him sort nails all night. Ah, children. But those little annoyances are forgotten when dad and Rody take a trip to the roundhouse. Excursions are very important. How is bread made, for instance? Where does milk come from? How does it get in bottles? It's fun to be the parents of a 5-year-old. His capacity to learn seems boundless, and he thrives on encouragement and stimulation from adults. Playing with 5-year-olds, explaining our world to them, guiding them with affection can be a fascinating experience for parents because the fives are fascinating. [Music]