The Day I Died

The day I died was a great day for the beach. One of those super days. All bright and sunny. I was feeling real good. Proud, too. Cuz this was my car. I'd only had it a week. I bought it with my own money. Money I'd earned working after school at the supermarket. You know, as a bag boy. I'd been saving up for this little old car for so long. Now I was getting a real bang out of showing it off. There were people all over the beach. Kids playing in the sand and running in and out of the water. There were old people looking for shells. You could see boats in the distance. Everybody was having a good time. It sure was a great day to be alive. I was just kind of walking up the beach. And after a while, I ran into some kids I knew from school. They had seen me drive up. They thought my car was pretty decent. Made me feel kind of big. We all kind of fooled around, you know. We did a lot of dumb, fun things. You know, all the crazy stuff you do at the beach. We were really having Wow. If only If only it could have stayed this kind of fun. Later, the girls got out the cold drinks and donuts they'd brought along. Pretty soon, we were having a regular little party. We were all kidding around about how the donuts were powdered with sand instead of sugar. Joe was smiling, kind of sly, and reaching for a 7 Up bottle he had behind him. Everyone laughed when they saw it. Joe, it seems, was up to his usual tricks. He started to pour something clear from the bottle. Big Joe. It wasn't 7-Up. It was vodka. Vodka he'd swiped from his folks. I couldn't be the only one to say no. I mean, we were all having such a good time. I was ashamed to tell them I wasn't used to the stuff. Why? Why? I was hot and thirsty. And I guess the drinks were pretty stiff. I don't remember exactly how many I had. The stuff sure went to my head, and I was too dumb to admit it. I guess all of us were feeling pretty high. Laughing too loud, and acting real stupid. Later, when it was time to go home, I asked if anyone wanted to go with me. But they all preferred going with Joe. I guess I kind of felt put down. I was a smart ass. I raced out side Joe's. Never thought about a seat belt. Never thought about speed limits. Just wanting to show off to myself and to the world. I still don't know exactly how the accident happened. I I know I was feeling kind of funny with the drinks. Excited. And at the same time my mind was sort of fuzzy. I must have taken real crazy chances. What I was trying to prove I'll never know. But anyway, it all happened in one split second. Here I was passing this lady creeping along in a Mercedes. I remember Oh my god, I remember how I saw her face clearly. Frozen. Frozen in horror. Sirens. Police. Ambulance. I couldn't feel anything. Pulled me from the car. My poor car. Totaled. And I just had it a week. I even paid for it myself. Totaled. Attendants worked over me. Why don't I feel anything? 2,000 ft over here. You want to have an IV established? Can form more. We're getting an IV now. Stand by. At that time we still have no pulse, no respiration. We have a straight line on the defibrillator. 10-4 rescue one. We defibrillated at 400 W seconds. Clear. Defibrillated 400 W. Ready? 10-4 more. I'll stand by for defibrillation at 400 W seconds. Clear. Clear. More, we have defibrillation at 400 W. We're still showing a straight line on our scope. 10-4 rescue one. We're showing a straight line also. We'd like you to discontinue all life support measures and transport to Connecticut Memorial, please. Why is he shaking his head? I'm not dead. I can't be dead. I'm only 17. I've got a date tonight. I'm supposed to grow up and have a wonderful life. I haven't lived yet. I can't be dead. Later, I was placed on a stretcher in a strange, cold room. My parents had to identify me. Why did they have to see me like this? Oh, Mom. Mom, I can't bear to see the suffering in your eyes. And poor Dad, he looked so shook. He's telling the guy in charge, "Yes, he is my son." My funeral. It was weird. The preacher talked about this boy, this fine boy, me, who died so young, so needlessly. All my friends passed the casket. One by one they came and looked down at me. Oh, Mary, Mary, I'm sorry I didn't get to keep our date. Some of my buddies were crying. Even Joe. Joe, who thought I was cool and gave me a drink. Funny. I heard him sob as he walked away. Please somebody wake me up. Get me out of here. I can't stand to see my family so broken up. My kid sisters are in a daze. Grandma's so sad. So sad. Oh mom. Mom, I can't be dead. Not really dead. It can't be true. Please don't bury me. I'm not dead. I have a lot of living to do. I want to laugh and run again. I want to sing and dance. There are books I want to read and places I want to go. I have so much still to do. And you shall now bear the heaven and live forever in the glorious presence of our Is this the end? The end of everything? Don't go away and leave me all alone. Mom? Dad? Don't go away. I I tell you I'm not dead. I'm not really dead. Please don't put me in the ground. I promise, if you give me one more chance, God, I'll be the most careful driver in the whole world. I'll never take a drink like that again. All I want is one more chance. Please, God, I'm only 17.