The Child In The Middle (1956, sound)

[Music] okay hey what's the matter with you where you been you're late yeah I know every time mom go to school breakfast is late what's she doing in school talk to the teacher uh-oh what' you do nothing they just disgust me disgust you well I don't know now there are two authorities in their lives parents and teachers and they are the ones who map out the paths of these new members of society theirs is a mutual responsibility no matter how separate their functions they guide and instruct each in his own way and each contributes to the process of Education the child is in the middle but do they always work together so I finally got her to come to school this afternoon well you'll just have to tell her what you told me tell her about his behavior in class and then see if she has any suggestions it isn't as easy as all that though I went to the home once and when I told her about Richard she felt personally criticized and sidetracked the whole issue she wouldn't discuss his home life you see she feels that what goes on in the classroom is strictly the teacher's responsibility and the home has nothing to do with it now I wonder if I could For Better or For Worse they take their home along to school just as they take school back home with them that's why in this business of Education parents and teachers must be partners Daddy what is it are you all through Martha these people are me and my brother we are waiting for my mother to come home my grandmother is inside but you can't see her I don't think I'll finish it what a nice picture that is now why don't you finish it and we'll write under it all the things you've told me good morning is the principal in yes she is go right in thank you come in excuse me Mrs kred I'm Mr Benton good morning Mr Benton won't you sit down thank you my daughter Martha has forgotten her lunch again I didn't notice it until I'd reached the university such an irresponsible child to give this much trouble this is the third time she's done it I'll have to do something about it I know Martha she's in the uh second grade isn't she well I wouldn't be too concerned about that children at this age often have short memories I'll see that she gets her lunch thank you I'll have it sent over right away thank you very much oh Mr Bon would you like the bill for Martha's cafeteria lunches last week cafeteria lunches why she's taken her lunch every day for a month what does she do with it does she have to eat twoo perhaps that's it children of this age have amazing appetites you know I'll see that she gets her lunch well thank you seems impossible doesn't it she's such a small child you know I don't think she could eat two lunches [Applause] [Music] [Music] is she a very active child no she isn't and she's kept quite a bit to herself recently the other children like her though I think I'll watch you play for a while yes why don't you well what do you know about that I've never had that happened before what does it mean of course this is the the answer to the two lunches but what does it mean maybe she doesn't like her sandwiches uh-uh remember what Mrs kred said about her forgetting her lunches I wonder is she forgetting them or is she leaving them on purpose and then there's her daydreaming no she doesn't want to mix with them that's obvious what did we discuss in that last conference with the bentons it was a routine conference on one of those days set aside for the parents she had been talking to them all morning they didn't come to discuss problems usually there aren't any real problems Martha certainly wasn't a problem child it was just a matter of meeting and exchanging information and maybe to prevent the development of problems she told them then that Martha was a bright child and that she wasn't doing as well as might be expected from a child of her intelligence and that this had developed recently she had made a note that Martha had fallen behind in her reading and and that she seemed to be withdrawing from the group then she told them what they were doing in class she showed them the books they were reading and some of Martha's nice paintings and a sample of her handwriting in which she was very good then she went back to her weaknesses she was looking for Clues she tried to encourage them to talk does Martha eat a normal diet does she get regular hours of sleep have there been any irregularities in their home life the Benton said that everything was normal that nothing had changed then they decided that Martha would bring home some books from the library so that her parents could listen to her read she also suggested that they observe her Playmates at home and sort of watch for anything which might be a disturbing influence she felt that something was troubling the child but there isn't anything unusual about that all children are troubled occasionally it was just a regular conference she felt that it was a good one she was able to tell them something about their child which they didn't know and couldn't know she felt that together maybe they could help her get over her difficulty whatever it was but her reading hasn't improved and the B has haven't contacted me now where am I I'm sure I don't know I'll have to talk to Mrs kred maybe she can help me she told Mrs kred all she knew about Martha Mrs Kindred asked about the conference and she told her about that then she mentioned Martha's paintings most of them about her family Mrs Kindred was immediately interested she wanted to see them and they went to her room right away this is her most recent picture in fact she just finished it this morning no door and a high tight fence no way in and no way out this child is trying to tell us something I feel sure this is another family picture this puzzled me you know Mrs Benton is really a blonde like her son what is she trying to tell us this is our family my grandmother is not here because she is really not our family I don't think we'll find the answer here at school did you notice the grandmother though she was in every picture yet we never saw her that's right I shall have to speak to the bentons yes I think you you should and find out about the grandmother I certainly will I simply don't understand it throwing her lunch away it it's dishonest honesty is one thing I insist on in our family it's the basis of living dishonesty must be punished why should my child develop this deceit Mr Benton we believe there's something Martha is trying to say say perhaps she only feels it this lunch matter may be part of it and we've made other observations but we don't understand her perhaps together we can get at the bottom of this would you tell me something about your family how you live and anything special you think might affect Martha well all right both of our children were born after I returned from the service I'd been gone a long time things had changed a lot I wanted to return to school prepare for a professional career I'm a chemist last year I came out here to study about 3 months ago my wife started to work now that her mother has come out to take care of the children she didn't want to leave the children for so many hours but after all we need the money it's for my family until I can get established and my wife's mother is a wonderful woman well I don't know what else I can tell you except that we are a devoted family we're also a religious family we all go to church the children learned to say their prayers when they were just babies why for the past year Martha has prayed for her grandmother to come to join us your sounds like a wonderful family I can understand how this deceit of Martha's must disturb you may I ask you one more question sure who prepares Martha's lunch her her grandmother does she does a fine job with the children I see Mr Benton may I suggest that you wait a day or two with the punishment I'd like to think a little bit more about Martha we'll start on this and I shall call you very soon well but this has to be brought out into the open I'll call you very soon Mr Benton thank you bye-bye goodbye hello Martha hello Martha you know you've never told me about your little brother do you like to play with him yes I like him do you like to play with the other children here at school yes then why aren't you playing with them cuz I don't want to your daddy says that you go to church and that you say your prayers every night is that so I'll never never say a prayer again yes I think I see it now no door from which to escape a high fence holding them all inside waiting for her mother to come home she wants her mother so much that in her mind they are one and the same down to the dress and the color of hair but someone stands between her and her mother someone whose arrival she had prayed for the grandmother I'll never never say a prayer again you see all this adds up to what we believe Matha is trying to tell us that she's afraid of losing her mother we never did like the idea of my being away so much but everything seemed to be the same as before she never said anything she didn't say it in so many words that's true but she did say it in her own way through her behavior and through her paintings and through her lunchbox well what do you suggest we do now the first thing I believe is this if it's at all possible Mrs Benton you should try and devote more time to the child well I I could stay home on Saturdays I guess we should be able to manage that don't you think yes I I think so perhaps you could find work on Saturdays or evenings to make up for it yes I I suppose that could be arranged if only we'd known about in this case what had looked like deceit to the parents was really but the child saying what she did not know how to say otherwise punishment was averted and luckily so it would only have served to Drive Martha's feelings underground there to do more serious damage the conference had enabled the teacher to recognize a child's conflict and the parents to plan for a remedy it had served its one and only purpose to help the child to learn and grow two months later miss car noticed an improvement in Martha's reading and she was no longer standing aside from the group with the help of the parents she had succeeded in an important phase of her work to try to clear the roadblocks and to open the path of learning to the mind of the child often the roadblocks are invisible but there are signs that something is in the way it may be shyness or aggressiveness lack of response or over anxiety to please many attitudes big and little they are the attitudes of home and the attitudes of school separately they may mean little but together they may give an important insight into the child's abilities and his needs when parents and teachers meet they discuss these attitudes they are rarely serious problems most children present no serious problems to the teacher those who do are referred to special advisors but to become a member of the community and at the same time to acquire the mental and physical skills of our society presents a job of adjustment to all children this job can be made easier if the school world and the home World become but one world for the child and this can only be done if those who guide at home and those who guide in school are agreed in their purposes this Unity is established in a parent teacher conference [Music] PA for