Tell My Wife I Won't Be Home For Dinner

when you've done that ring home and tell my wife I won't be home for dinner this will be a film about the management of time actually the film's more about the mismanagement of time it's on every level sometimes obvious sometimes in Disguise the film will be like a crossword puzzle we only offer Clues which you must solve yourselves we start where time mismanagement usually starts in the office you can leave the matter in my hands Mr Temple and I promise you the whole thing will be dropped yes I'll deal with it personally if I have to go right to the top about this Mr Arthur I'll get to the bottom of it I'll deal with it myself yes is that my way Sylvia well you know what it's like at the moment nothing gets done unless I do it myself and if I skip the meeting I know I know I said the meeting wasn't important but Colton wouldn't like it if I didn't turn up now you wouldn't like it I lost my job would you you would like it if I lost my job but I can tell you Sylvia you wouldn't and I don't try and tell me what you think I know what you think better than you do look Sylvia we have had this argument more times than I've had hot dinners yes that's right that's right I shall be home for dinner tonight Hello darling yes can you hang on a mo but when's this budget meeting sweetheart uh hello adorable you still there oh good but no no no no no no no someone in the office trying to tell me something love that's all look it can't be six I mean old egg is coming at six look if you can get a hold of our leg it's time to come later on would you yes look I won't be a kid no no don't do that no look I've got Charlie at eight o'clock oh yes I'm just sorting something else sweetheart yes okay come on now where was I like I mean when have I ever been late leaving a Saturday night last week huh well I wasn't enjoying myself you know hello you better ring her up when she's cooled off Margie tell her I won't be home for dinner hello Janie it's mummy here no Jenny don't go and get mummy this is Mommy here hello Mummy what's Danny doing out of bed at this time oh I see well um look I'm afraid I shouldn't be able to make it home for dinner after all three people who seem to be working extremely hard well into the evening and ready to sacrifice themselves and those dearest to them to the needs of their companies ideal you may think more than any company could ask you'd be wrong the boss wasn't pleased the order was lost delivery dates weren't met and within a year those three people had left their companies and their companies were not disappointed why the clues are in those three short scenes we just witnessed why did John Marshall Frank holinot and Shirley Walters all have to miss their dinners because none of them knew how to manage their time they understand that now but the understanding came too late they'd known it all along they'd known it all the time but it was always someone else not them someone they'd read about in books or heard about on their management courses managers it said must learn that crisis is normal and interruptions are natural and to be expected and welcomed as part of the normal working day oh no one no one hands me a crisis I can tell you and no one but no one butts in on me well on sorry Jeff he was saying yeah what about his load of bump here this is and what is uncontrollable you must learn to live with I mean don't these bloody graduates with their degrees and theories know anything if a man is any good nothing is uncontrollable right oh sorry it's Derek isn't it the knowledge of where they'd gone wrong wasn't enough they discussed their faults but they didn't change them knowledge is not the same as understanding John you used to be Personnel manager with a firm which made toys and games yes that's all it wants to me the game people I worked with from the toys yes yes you can say that I broke some of them too well on purpose it was by accident and they were really new how it happened one-eyed teddy bears ping pong balls that's what I turned them into and not just the people under me those above me as well thanks for coming Jack Harriet Dan I know you're busy people with better things to do but I don't want to make any mistake about this appointment and the girl will be working with all of you one way or the other first girls do you know a few minutes ago in fact their name is uh Tessa agneil she's 27. she's had some experience of this kind of role before you know that'll be here no not before time come in we'll take a seat Miss Agnew no application form is written out in great detail so there's very little we don't know with regard to your background no miss agne Mr downstairs the name and I've come to clean the windows I don't know if it happened exactly like that but it doesn't really matter does it the important people at that interview weren't Agnew or me they were Jack Knight Harriet Sawyer and danforn mismanaging my own time was one thing 20 minutes maybe but their time was worth three times mine that's an hour a piece there were three of them three hours and that's not taking into account other people's time which they were wasting by wasting their time helping me waste mine it all adds up you know what's the secret of your Genius for mismanaging time your own and other pupils nobody could do anything right but me what I am now I brought one myself I know that now at the time it seems that everyone else was to blame you try to do everything yourself when something goes wrong you blame everyone but yourself it all started at home I thought I was helping my boy with his homework I wasn't helping me I did it all by the writing art and killed all his enthusiasm in the process I don't know you should know don't give up so easily I couldn't leave anything alone but I used to insist on doing the washing up yeah I'm the only husband I know who got shouted at for doing the washing up my wife left me in the end for a man earning half what I was earning but at least he let her do the washing up can you tell us more precisely how you mismanaged your time God you wanted laying on the line do you Brick by Britney you can't do it like that it's it's not what you do it's what you are what were you what I still am a one-man band right stand by Mr Marshall I used to do it for social evenings and the like no I do it on commercials Beyond film parties the Redford Miss Fonda will come from the car over there okay action I've always been a one-man band you're making the best of a bad job John One Man Band never does that whatever the context a one-man band makes the worst of a good job what used to make me really angry was if something got done and I didn't know about it if something were a success and I'd had nothing to do with it I could be miserable for weeks what has this got to do with managing or mismanaging time everything everything if you can't manage time you can't manage anything we were looking for a young trainee to join our projects Department someone to test and invent new toys and games we'd ask the lad to bring an idea or even better a prototype with him it was only a minor appointment and I had said the day before I'd leave it to my Deputy to look after the lad arrived at 11. I saw him from my window I was giving a lookout almost he brought a prototype with him and I suppose the interviewer was jogging along but by quarter past 11 I couldn't stand it anymore I think I'll pop down the corridor and see how leverton's getting on with this trainee character but Mr Parsons is coming to see you about his expenses business job to deal with people's expenses but can't I trust anyone around here to do the job they're supposed to do Mr leverton did deal with it you said you wanted to see Mr Parsons yourself did I why didn't you tell me sooner why does he want to see me he doesn't want to see you you want to see him no no not once with author I have to see Mr Leviton because he still needs supervising after 45 years in the job which is also why I have to pop down the corridor because Mr leverton can't be left on his own try and put Parcels off till tomorrow I've already tried to do that into Marshall are you already tried without consulting me first I don't know what to say about that it was awful how did you know that I wouldn't be available at the time I'd agreed to see him I see you have no answer Mr Parsons is going on holiday tomorrow ah Mr Parsons he's going on holiday tomorrow is he no doubt on the proceeds of his excessive expenses so I have to see him today I Who Have Not only not had a holiday for two years but also have to do Mr leverton's job tell Parsons away when he came well I popped down the corridor to see how Leviton was doing and entered the conference room to find leverton bent over the conference table going purple in the face blowing through a small cardboard tube Mr Marshall hey I wondered when you'd be around this is Mr Charlton he's brought his a game called Blow billions but I'm afraid I've had to tell him it wouldn't work at least not in its present form but anyway let me try yo this is somewhat soggy perhaps Mr a child in here as a fresh sample foreign there but I think Mr Chapman I can sort this out oh by the way uh Parsons is in my office go ahead and see him would you love it but I've already seen him you just just do it please leverton you know what you need here Mr Charlton is lighter balls you know let's uh let's clear these away and uh let's see what I can find ah ping pong balls ideal I want to set these out and we'll see how it works shall I uh break it's still not quite right is it well all it needs is a little more work let's uh let's go along and have a chat about in my office when we got back to the office no one was there it was awful leverton Parsons had gone my entire Stafford resigned on block I was alone I've been asking for it for years wanting to do everything myself but when I got what I've been asking for I was lost I told everyone depended on me in fact I depended on them how would you define your particular way of mismanaging time I couldn't delegate I overruled Mr leverton who's my subordinate in front of Charlton who might one day have to work for Mr leverton I treated other people's time as my own as a manager I should have treated my time as theirs set aside perhaps two hours a day for myself can be utterly ruthless with those two hours wasn't it just that blow Billiards wasn't a very good idea oh I don't know about that I'm still working on it you know come on my own so you're only wasting your own time now oh we'll see about that next Christmas could be the biggest things in skateboards this is the marshalling yard and Warehouse of one of the country's biggest removers Packers and shippers some way down the management scale Frank hadinot used to work his job was the allocation of Vans and men to move the goods to the right destinations all over the world it was a marvelous job I love those bands I thought I was going with them all the way wherever they went London to Newcastle brummy to Bristol then on to Scandinavia Australia America everywhere and it all started off in my little office in Hut number two there was only me and Margie of course yeah I loved it all too much you see I mean I was friendly with all the drivers you know I'd always do them a favor if I could Dave was supposed to be working for me but it got like I was working with them sometimes and I got very cocky with it you know been there for years knew everything knew everybody not so bright now though are we hey you know if something went wrong all it needed was a nod and a wink you know a bit of Fiddle in there no I mean yeah there wasn't nothing I couldn't sort out well between me and Margie you know what I mean snap crackle pop it's all sold the stuff's on its way there wasn't nothing that old Frankie and Margie could not handle except of course for the one thing that really mattered time you know what I mean I don't know where it all went to you know there never was enough time we was always in a hurry you know it's pandemonium sometimes you know we were never still but a lot of what we did I suppose was just picking up the pieces of other things we did and did wrong I think Margie began to see what was going on before I did yes till three o'clock this morning did you ever meet anybody in sausages oh boy did we have a skin full did we have a skin full never mind we should work twice as hard to make up for it shouldn't we where is everybody they went went doesn't know who's the boss around here come on get him back the frontary does that can call you all the way to Switzerland Switzerland what color Switzerland your wife too what's my wife doing in Switzerland who's wife that'll be Switzerland we back Mr ordinart tell him I'm not here tell him I'm in a meeting no no wait a minute you can't say that because it sounds like a lie even if it's true tell him I'm tired but when somebody comes along to one time all right Margie which one 97 which one's 97. the one on the right it'll go on like that for most of the morning what I needed was a 36 hour day I was always on the run from morning till night and yet when I look at it what I actually did I could have done in a couple of hours I was always juggling with Alternatives you know I thought I was being highly ingenious and really I was just being sloppy I should have known the one thing to do from the start still that was my style Margie was a brick though she tried to pull me around yeah you know how you're always too busy because you hadn't been busy running around like a blue ass fly sort of now I understand you yes well just a minute would you give me that number please and what about that letter from Switzerland fine here what's this what's this I don't remember that I do not listen would you check on that for me I've been thinking I paid to think Marty that's my job oh hello hello yes what myself now you've got my personal Assurance on that sir yes Margie would you look into that Consignment of tables for Aberdeen will you yes it'll be with you in two days sir and I accept complete responsibility for the maggots hello maggot here that sorry I did not hear yeah I was about the piano is it yes Margie why are you doing the bit with the Aberdeen table see if you can find some maggots would you no Mr hard enough thanks Margie yes the piano is on its way so as I speak it is winging its way towards you it should reach Carlisle tomorrow all right I see you need it down in Taunton well never mind I don't think that's any problem no no no no no no no oh Oscar Peterson yeah big favorite of mine yes thank you thank you at least we can do goodbye yes sorry about that Aberdeen I've got the papers here in front of me but could I ring you back on it please yeah fine fine right goodbye yes Margie what were you saying did you have any luck with the maggots Sir Mr hardinart I have no intention of even looking for the maggots or the tables or the piano Mr hardy not I've always tried to help you haven't I well yes Marty I think so yeah so you won't accuse me of disloyalty when I tell you that I've been keeping my own little private check on it but I hope this is not going to take too long Margie I am a busy man you know that's just what you're not Mr hodden not you're not busy at all you're all activity but no action you've done nothing for a week now nothing nothing at all my check proves it now look here Margie no you look Mr just these ones you listen to me I've been keeping a check on what we've done this week so far we've sent a piano to Carlisle which should have gone to Taunton we've lost 100 gallons of maggots Mr Jeffrey and Peterborough has the Henry Moore exhibition in his back parlor as far as we know the art lovers in Bradford are paying 75 peer time to go around the art gallery looking at Mr Jeffrey's household effect and to cap it all we've just sent an artificial Cricket pitch to Switzerland and they're trying to ski on it and in my humble opinion Mr hottie not strong though my affection for you has always been this isn't good enough it don't sound too good Margie if that is really what we've done I'm dreadfully afraid Mr hot enough that the next thing this company removes will be you it's What You've Done Right to point out this little errors to me Margie but look as a friend can you tell me where you think I've gone wrong as a friend yes Mr holiday knot you may not want me as your friend when you hear what I've got to say oh no no go on just the same all your decisions are snap decisions your only thoughts your last thoughts if you're not a manager you're a jungler you never finish anything you interrupt yourself the whole time and if you don't interrupt yourself you positively invite me to interrupt you which I shouldn't do I know but I do you think everything can be adjusted to fit in with your latest thoughts you'll never give more than three minutes to anything you do six things at once and all of them badly you'll never give an hour to any one thing and you only notice the effort you put in never the results you achieve you get nothing done by always being too busy you constantly put things off and you know as well as I do that whatever you put off you never get done at all you put second things first and first things nowhere at all because your time is never your own it's always somebody else's Sid or George it's the darts team to you because you just can't say no can you no I mean yes I can't say no you waste your time my time since time George is time the dance club's time the company's time and if you ask me Criminal I got bloody lucky you're not doing time there's just one other thing I want to say can there be anything else I think I love you Mr hottie note she had married that's all right I don't expect a snap decision I can wait if you can I made one more snap decision just one I resigned only hours ahead of the sack I think the company's picked up a lot since I went mind you the atmosphere is not the same Margie's tell me a lot of things I've done wrong a good manager always knows how little time he's got there's not 24 hours in the day there's two and good managers always ask themselves if they're giving the right kind of time to the really important things now that sort of thing sounds obvious doesn't it but very few people pay attention to it you know in a funny kind of way I did give my time to the thing that was most important to me I gave it to Margie and now the early hours in the day that count for me are the hours I spend with her which is about two because she's been one of a flaming feet ever since she took my job yeah would you mind biscuit Frank Holly not and John Marshall's stories end differently there seem to be as many different kinds of failures there are different kinds of success but they both have one clear message if time isn't properly managed nothing else can be managed at all Shirley Waters didn't know this Shirley Waters fell in love with her treadmill she was marketing manager with a large confectionary firm she was always putting her soap about everywhere anytime she didn't know that the effective use of time is measured only by results not by the number of hours you put in well that was me a year ago I suppose it is still really details details details all trees and no wood and always every tiny minute insignificant nitpicking microscopic detail you'd think window was an appetite like that for works at the uh the sweetie firm would have flourished oh no it was that same appetite for work that panicity finicking obsession with detail that brought us to the brink of bankruptcy I know I shouldn't have bothered with detail it would start as soon as I arrived at the office at 8 28 sharp earlier than everyone else of course I was more concerned with making an impression than with my actual performance 8 30 I'd lay out my four different colored pens on my desk and my secretary would arrive and we'd start on my work plan the red pencil for telephone calls blue vallettas black for meetings green for anything personal I'd leave nothing to chance so it was sometimes lunch time before we'd drawn up the work plan and by that time there was no time left to do the work so I'd stay in the office over lunch and draw up a revised work plan my work plans were works of art but quite useless they were just beautiful Bits of Paper you know my obsession with details there was just a way of putting off work of avoiding my real tasks I should have planned my time instead of my task implanted in big bold chunks too not ticky tacky fiddly minutes there and minutes here I used to take my work home in the evenings too you know God knows why I never did anything at home but I was afraid of what people would say if they didn't see me staggering out of the building with a bulging briefcase and the contents of half a cupboard under my arm as often as not though I wouldn't go home at all I'd call it a meeting the meeting might have been fixed for the afternoon but I'd have to perspect it do come in I love my meetings everybody had to come to them but everybody even people who weren't needed they were needed by me I'd make it all sound as though I was offering even the least important among them a sense of participation all I was really offering was boredom frustration exhaustion well if I was going to be whacked I made damn sure everyone else was too happy I couldn't believe anyone was doing their job properly unless they suffered and I had to see them suffering a person's pain and Agony is how I measured their Devotion to duty no it came to a head one particular evening I knew the company was going downhill and I reckoned that everything depended on a completely new product I'd called a meeting for the afternoon but had put it off because of some emergency I'd managed to create and I went bore you with the full meeting it was nine o'clock before we got around to the main business though which was the tasting session I can't pretend the tasting session was a success one young man new to the company must have thought it was like a wine tasting because after rolling the samples around his mouth for a few moments he backed everything out Mr Wardle broke his Dentures on Sample three the tasting got more and more out of hand as it went on due to the complete demoralization I'd caused in everyone around me the whole evening turned gradually into a joke everyone just disintegrated the politeness and the professionalism sort that away and the joke was on me [Applause] the business collapsed a month later I asked Mr Wardle what was his explanation for the debacle of the previous month it wasn't the sweet his has made them all mad it was a cumulative process that gave itself expression that evening it was your blessed obsession with detail that really drove them all man they couldn't do their job it always obstruct them with some detail you see and that's frustrating for a fella if you follow me well the firm somehow survived they gave me a job lower down the scale sort of race relations Board of jelly babies making sure that they're not too many of one color in any box my obsession with detail doesn't harm anyone now John Marshall Frank horina Shirley Waters three people who could not manage their time in every organization in every business in every industry in every ordinary household there dwells a multitude of experts in the art of mismanaging time some are born to it some acquire it some have it forced upon them some force it upon others and in academic institutions between drab covers on public library shelves or in bright paperbacks on bookstores there exists a not much smaller multitude who think they have the answers this film doesn't have any answers if it did they wouldn't be believed the only answers that I ever believed are the answers one finds in oneself and believing is much more than agreeing the search for the perfect manager is a Vain One like all artificial Creations he'll turn out to be a monster and hated for his very Perfection I am not doing my company any good if I listen to your golfing stories and the less than perfect manager has much to commend him you've got a birdie on the ninth and Albatross on the 10th and a pigeon on the 12th it costs will be there to see Julia tonight what part she play and much of what's been hinted at in this film is common knowledge anyway bad time management isn't a matter of ignorance but not knowing it's more a failure of will this has been a film about time isn't measured in hours and minutes it's measured by results time is Mankind's most precious resource you can't print time though you can print money there are no new deposits of time to be drawn for under the sea there is no time substitute indistinguishable from the real thing time perishes as soon as it becomes available time cannot be stored time is an Irreplaceable resource which man wastes more recklessly than he wastes even food or fuel the supply of time Bears no relation to the demand for it more time is needed there is no more time if we want more time we must manage better the time we have hello Janet yes I'm finished I'll be home for dinner in half an hour has arranged thank you foreign