SNAFU

la [Music] want me to pull over for a while you could use 5 minutes rest no we got to get this stuff through can't fight a war without it snipers back of our line how do you figure it all the brass hats probably forgot to cover some spot up front yeah just like we're probably on the wrong rad wait and see they're probably reading the map upside down that's right snaf f boy could I do with a hamburger haven't you heard hamburgers aren't in season no breakfast no dinner am I hurting okay buy the numbers it isn't the food it's the bullets we never get enough of nothing and nothing ever gets here on time one of them big guys care if we stop yeah there ought to be an investigation sure everything is snafu stop snapping your gum soldiers they're not playing games with us back there if the child's late there's a reason you're damn right there's a reason Corporal let's take a look at it war was born under an evil star and it's filled with accident Misfortune the unforeseen and the unexpected get used to Something in war the abnormal is normal and uncertainties the one thing that's certain War doesn't run on schedule remember that when the food isn't there on time you can't predict the twists and turns of battle they'll affect you in many ways they'll affect your food your weapons your equipment your rest your life you spend three days marching up a road and the next three marching back damn foolishness stupidity among the higher ups hurry hurry hurry to wait wait wait well the enemy isn't over polite he isn't always where he's supposed to be sometimes he hand you a surprise the Long March up wasn't foolishness and the long hike back wasn't stupid our intelligence showed an Armored Division had punched a hole in our position and would cut our Lifeline of Supply unless it was blocked would you rather walk or would you rather die where the hell's our tanks where's our [Applause] planes War isn't run on a timetable sometimes there are not going to be any tanks sometimes there are not going to be any planes but somewhere the tanks are fighting they're not taking a holiday and the planes are flying they're not in dead storage that's a swell rifle you're firing but sometime it may jam nothing's perfect in this world you'll expect a bridge to be ready for your Advance across a stream and it will be ready because one of the best damn engineer battalions in any man's Army is [Music] building you better mind my brother [Music] walk [Music] get and when you get there no Bridge no sign of one you've got to get across the best way you can and you're mad somebody's crossed you up again as usual the Situation's normal uh and nothing's the way it should be well the bridge was ready but so was an enemy dive bomb go on and gripe sitting on a hunk of ground 6X 8 ft and griped guy running a war 6 by 8,000 Mi you know what we are worms worms is right check yeah and all we've got is a worms ey VI with a big sh Jo listen you know Sergeant Jones of K company you know the old gray-headed guy so well he was telling me about an outfit in the last war they'd been held in reserve and were itching for a fight finally they got the orders to move to the front that was out this way after they've been marching about 6 hours they turned around and marched them back then they moved them over here to the west then they switched him back and moved him over here to the east well by this time those guys were dizzy their dogs were practically worn off to their ankles but did they get any rest no all of a sudden they started forward again be ready to attack to the north at dawn well came morning and the outfit moved South and attacked in that direction yet as far as they knew the enemy was up here to the north well there was the original snapu they walked those guys legs off going around the circles but all the time this outfit was moving the battle was shifting and the big boys kept sending the where it looked like the next breakthrough was coming sure those guys were mad as hell but what they didn't know was the front was changing with them all the time there was one enemy breakthrough after another never spot where they'd been and a big enemy circling movement that had to be stopped by going right back to the same place where they' started from which gets me back to the worm eye point of view from where we sat watching out for a small Patrol contr maybe you can't sa the angles of guys work T out for a couple of divisions or a whole Army I still say that right back us a bunch of Duds who don't even know what time it is why don't you sit on and write yourself a threatening letter I tell you there's just too many things you can't figure and you're right again Corporal war is full of blind spots events you couldn't count on surprises you couldn't expect here's a stream winding through the countryside peaceful and quiet here it is on a map narrow easily crossed no obstacle to troops even so the topside checked it to make sure they don't take chances but a couple of hundred miles away this happened Maps don't show Cloud [Music] bursts so you get to your little stream and find another SNAP [Music] food an aerial photograph is usually more reliable than a m here's one and here's a heavily wooded area it's been checked by personal reconnaissance so you ride all night and you're ready to dive in and you find this incendiary bombs have done a nice job on your aerial photograph and your Forest doesn't live here anymore War plays its hand for high stakes and sometimes it even pays off the winner in disappointment you fought hard and victoriously and you occupy a village the inhabitants have fled in the town as yours a village open for your comfort a night of rap pose food baths beds beds for weary legs and aching bodies thank God for the man who invented beds until further orders troops will Biv whack in yards of houses no dwelling house or building will be entered under any condition until further notice you're mad burned up bitter are there any questions fall out what do they care if you get a good night's rest sleep on the ground again when right here here along this street are dozens of houses with dozens of bedrooms it's unfair yeah senseless yeah sure it's cocky a beautiful bed An Elegant bed going to waste and maybe when things are that cockey you've got a right to disobey an order booby trap it was a beautiful bed all right but the cover charge was too [Music] high sure I know a lot of it seems pretty Dopey but you see they don't always have the time to come around and give guys like you and I all ins and outs but remember the same sort of stuff is happening right over there you're still talking corn and I still say them brass hats don't know the alphabet sure why in the hell they keeping us here we haven't seen a sign of a plane or a German not even a ghost of one I don't know but there must have been a reason for them picking out this spot take a look at that dark spot down there that shadow funny little Shadow because it isn't standing still and it don't look like no ghost to me there's another one just to the left of the first one a little closer to us looks like he's planning us a little visit what do you say we give him a personal invitation I'll send number one a calling card well snafu what do you mean snafu I got mine you're crazy that's a dead pigeon out there you heard me snafu situation normal all fixed [Music] up