Richard Dominic on David Letterman 1980s KCST San Diego

What a blockbuster this will be. [laughter] Uh anyway, coming up here tonight, Richard Dominic and Bob Goldwid. But first, kids, let's get this out of the way. It's our nightly top 10 list, or as Steve Martin said, top 10 reasons. Um, as always, compiled at the Home Office in Scottsdale, Arizona, tonight's category, top 10 commercial casket models. Top 10 commercial casket models. You understand that, Paul? No, I don't understand it. >> Top 10 commercial casket models have caskets that you could order. >> Exactly. Here we go. Number 10, The Dirt Master. Number nine, Tupper Tomb. Number eight, Crazy Casket from Whammo. Number seven, The Slim Reaper. Number six, The 19th Hole. Number five, Mcoffin Styrofoam Casket. Number four, The Comfort King Velvet Liner, endorsed by Paul Anka. Number three, Captain Crypt. Number two, the cardboard warrior. [laughter] >> What do you think? Should I just call it off? We have one left. Should I call it off or finish it? >> No. No. Hit us. Hit us with that one. >> Because Steve Martin likes this bit. >> Do it for him. >> But he's no longer in the building. >> Then call it off. Yeah, let's just call it off. There's no backing point. >> No, let's hear what it What was it going to be? [laughter] >> I'll have it here in a minute. Like a party at Olly North. [laughter] [applause] Um, and number one, the Lazy Boy Eternal Lounger. 1 2 3. [cheering] [music] [screaming] [groaning] We'll be right back with Richard Dominic from The Sun. [music] >> Hi. Give me a light. >> Bud Light. >> If you just ask for a light beer, >> give me a light. >> You never know what you'll get. >> Give me a light. >> Bud Light. >> So, if you want the less silly light beer with the first name and taste, >> the dining car. >> Don't just ask for a light beer. >> Can I have a light? >> Ask them to bring out their best >> Bud Light. >> Bud Light. Cuz everything else >> is just a light. >> Firefly. Make room for Hyundai time is almost over. >> Thanks for the deal. You're welcome. >> Aiming at new sales records, your Hyundai dealer really stocked up. Even took work home with him. And while he's still got a wide selection of XL's with seven models under $7,000 and starting at just $51.95, they are going fast. >> Couple more days, we'll find the kids. >> Better hurry down to your Hyundai dealer while he's still got a lot to deal with. I know. >> Test drive an XL at your greater San Diego Hyundai dealer. >> The name that means excitement is back. James Bond. >> Don't leave. >> He lives for danger. >> What is this? >> I've had a few optional extras installed. >> He lives for the moment. >> Brace yourself. >> He lives on the edge. James Bond. The Living Daylights. Rated PG starts tomorrow at a theater near you. Check newspaper for show times. >> 599, $6.49, $6.99, $7.99. It goes on and on. And right now for [music] 5 days, in addition to incredible prices on San Diego's largest furniture selection, there is no sales tax. Plus, 100 days is the same as cash. Only Jerome's Furniture [music] Warehouse can offer all this. Incredible prices, no sales tax, and 100 days the same as cash. 5 days only. Don't miss it. [music] >> Hi, [applause] welcome, welcome back. Uh, our next guest, who needs a newspaper? Who needs stories about the Iran contra hearings when you can read about stuff like this? Lightning turns a woman into a man. [laughter] Well, our next guest is the guy who actually writes these headlines, folks, from the Sun, not the newspaper, the planet. That's right. Please welcome Richard Dominic. Richard. Uh, [cheering] [applause] >> hi, Richard. Nice to see you again. >> How are you? [applause] >> You know, I was I was uh making a joke about the the paper. The planet, not the paper. First of all, the sun's not a planet anyway, is it? >> No, it's not. Big Star, isn't that what they call it? Yeah. But where exactly do we publish The Sun and who gets to read this stuff? >> Uh, it's published out of Florida. >> Uhhuh. >> And uh it's sold throughout the nation. >> What is what is the circulation? >> About 600,000. >> Does does it >> does it seem to sell more here in the United States or more in Europe? >> Uh, no. I guess here >> more here. >> More here. >> All right. Do Do people have subscriptions to it? Can you get this mailed to your home? >> No, you can't get it mailed to your home. >> Uhhuh. And And how is this regarded uh with other tabloids? How do you compare this to like the Inquirer or uh US News and World Report? How would where would it be in that spectrum? >> Uh about the middle. >> All right. >> You write the headlines. >> Yes. >> And you can swear to me unequivocally that everything in here is true. >> Absolutely true. >> 100% true. >> 100%. >> Beyond a shadow of a doubt. >> Beyond the shadow of a doubt. >> All right. With that in mind, let's take a look at some of these. I guess these are recent stories that you have personally tracked down and written >> that I investigated. >> If not the not the article, at least the headline, and you've done some investigation, >> all right, what does this one say right here? Get a nice tight shot of this this story here. Toaster is possessed by the devil. [laughter] >> Satan burns every slice with a sign. >> Yes. Where did this happen? >> In Canada. >> Mhm. What part of Canada? >> Uh up by Michigan. >> Up by Michigan. >> What happened? >> Do Do you have a name of a town, Richard? >> Yeah, it's one of those small villages out there. >> Small village. All right. Where they have no names for towns. >> All right. You How did you hear about this? >> Well, we have contacts in all over the country and all over the world. And anything strange like this happens, we get a call >> and I went and investigated. >> And what did you find? A toaster possessed by the devil. [laughter] >> How do you know it's possessed by the devil? >> Well, when I went there, I first investigated. I checked to see if there's any hidden microphones or wires or anything like that, and there wasn't. >> Right. >> And uh first they put in a piece of toast, and it came out with a sort of a pentagram, I think it's called. >> And uh then the toaster spoke and >> [applause and cheering] >> What? What did it say? Would you like butter or jelly? That kind of thing. IT WAS [applause and cheering] >> NO, it spoke in the devil spoke through the toaster. >> What did it say? >> It It basically told me to go to hell. >> Oh man. Now you you don't for a second believe that. >> Well, there was no hidden microphones. >> No, no, no, no. >> Nobody said anything. >> Yeah, the the uh toaster did. >> It's We work with a priest. Uh >> Oh, of course you work with a priest. Huh? >> And uh performed an exorcism on the toaster. >> Uhhuh. >> And then it was fine. >> He specializes in possessed appliances. >> [laughter] >> It it was probably just one of those defective GE models, you know. It was just >> um [applause and cheering] Now, see, I know that that's not true, and you must know that that's not true. >> But it is true. >> Well, then you're goofy. Our next item, here we go. Two two-headed man sings in stereo. [cheering] >> Dual domed wonder set to tackle show business world. >> Yeah, he'll be touring Europe. >> [laughter] >> Uh, now this, tell me about this. You got a call where where in where in Europe did this happened in Poland, Warsaw, Poland, right? Okay. >> And uh we got a call about a two-headed man. >> Mhm. >> And um that was singing and wanted to go on tour and we investigated >> and uh he's going to go on tour. Now, let me ask you about the uh I guess this is uh an untouched photograph here, right? [laughter] >> No, what's going on here is he wants to sort of have a big uh opening and he doesn't want anybody to see how he looks until he actually appears. >> Well, he look he looks great in a turtleneck, I got to tell you. I don't know. >> Two head. >> Two-headed man. >> Skip that one. That's even a little strange for us. Okay. All right. Here we go. Now, this one I might I think I can believe this one. 800 lb honeymoon couple crashes through hotel floor. I can I can actually believe that that might happen. Where Where did Where did it happen? >> That happened in Yugoslavia. >> A lot of these things seem to happen out of town, don't they? Wait. Doesn't seem much to be going on in Queens with possessed toasters. Uh, okay. What do we have here? Circus flushed down toilet. [cheering] >> Well, I don't know about that. [laughter] [applause] >> Uh, >> yeah. He was hiding in the toilet. He was going to surprise the bearded lady at the carnival. >> Yeah. And she didn't know he was in there and she flushed the toilet. >> I just love that circus humor. Those kids carry on like that. Uh oh. Now this now some of this stuff is really pretty grizzly, isn't it? >> Yes, it is. >> Uh this is uh not so much that way. All right. Tell me all about this one, Richard. >> This is a woman >> I was Bigfoot's love slave. >> Yeah. This is a woman who was on vacation. She's from Germany. She was visiting Canada. >> Mhm. again. Germany, Canada. >> Right. Right. >> And Bigfoot came and took >> and they've been dating. Okay, great. Uh Richard, G, it's nice to see you. Uh have a have a good summer and thanks for your time. >> Richard's Dominic [cheering] from the Sun. I'll come right back. [music] [music] >> Hey, how you doing? Good. In fact, I feel like Hey. H. What the? >> Uh-oh. I am sorry. Oh, no. >> Well, I meant Bud Light. >> If you want the less filling lighter with the first name and taste, ask for Bud Light cuz everything else. >> You all right? Sure. Just a little lightaded. >> It's just a light. >> It was 501 and a knock on the door [music] brought me out of my afternoon snooze. First thing I noticed was a great pair of gams that began with some red leather shoes. Her shrink to fit jeans fit like none [music] that I'd seen. And I knew I could never refuse anything that she asked cuz the lady had class. She wasn't no regular clues. So I said, "Come on in. It's time we begin. You and I should be looking for clues." So that was the day that I picked up the case of the babe with the case of the blues. The case of that babe with a buttonfly shrink to fit Levi's 501 blues. >> Only you. Just because you've washed your car doesn't mean you're finished. After each wash, you need some Armor All on the dash, >> the bumper, and especially the tires. Armorall. It's the finishing [music] touch every time you wash your car. [singing] >> And now introducing Clean [music] Start, the new cleaner which safely removes tough dirt. Clean Start, only from Armorall Products. Some of the hippest people in California are vampires. Now you know what we are. Now you [music] know what you are. >> Baby, help me. >> Never. I knew it. >> I am. >> So, where are you? The point. >> Here's some good sharp stink. >> The Lost Boys. Rated R. Starts Friday, July [music] 31st. >> [music] [applause] >> A few years ago, our next guest made his television debut right here, right here on this very program. He has since then gone on to become Oh my god. He has since then gone on to become a motion picture star and he started in his own television special and is currently on a concert tour appearing August 5th right here in New York at the Westbury Music Fair. As strange as ever folks, please welcome Bob Goldweight. [music] [applause]