Reaching Your Reader (2nd, 1983)

[Music] Linda Laskkey had a fantastic trip to the Orient. Back home, she decided to write an article about her experiences. Her mind was filled with impressions which she poured onto paper. By gosh, she thought, "This is a masterpiece. I'll bet I can sell it to a magazine or newspaper. I wonder what I'll get for it." What she got was a polite rejection. Buildings have tiles. and they had these round tile caps on the ends. I brought one home. Linda gave up trying to be published and just read her article to her friends. She read, "My journey began with the long flight by airplane across the Pacific Ocean. And from the train, we could see many interesting sites." And she read was moving. We had to see everything in kind of a hurry for as long as they would listen. Trip. I thought it was interesting. Well, at least you're still here. I'm narrating this film, so I have to stay. Thanks a lot. Where did I go wrong? But you went wrong by telling us about your trip instead of letting us experience it for ourselves. Read the part about eating lunch. See what kinds of pictures you can create. I wasn't used to dining oriental style. I was awkward with the chopsticks and I embarrassed myself. Something awful. I didn't get a picture of anything awful. You should have been there. Exactly. But your words didn't put me there. You simply made a statement this time. Don't tell me it was embarrassing. Recreate it. Show me what happened. Well, we were seated on the floor at a low table and I was trying to impress this young man. [Music] It was awful. This time I believe you because instead of telling me about your experience, you recreated the experience for me. I think I see the difference. I'll illustrate it once more. The writer cannot transfer a feeling to the reader just by telling him about it. That was stimulating. Oh, is it really? The only thing that can be transferred is the stimulus to his senses. I'll show you what happened. [Applause] Yes, that is stimulating. Great. But how do I do that with a typewriter? Use words that stimulate the reader's memory. Well, how did you get your impressions of the Orient? Well, through what I saw and what I heard. Through your five senses. Sure. All our experiences come to us through our senses. Well, it's the same with your reader. To make a reader believe and react, appeal to the five senses. Say your reader is a man. If you're describing a train ride, give him the feeling of that ride. Let him look here. feel, smell, and uh taste. When your words appeal to his five senses, you'll take him right along with you. Look, hear, feel, smell, and taste. You make writing sound like a course in cooking. Fair enough. Only you have to do your cooking with words. Imagine this. A saucepan. Listen. You'll hear a thick burbling sound. Something's boiling in the pan. Mhm. Now, imagine the aroma. It is boiling chocolate fudge. Do you remember what chocolate fudge smells like as it boils? M. Yes. Aha. I stirred a memory image through your sense of smell. But you had to use candy. No, just words. Well, anybody would react to fudge. The point is, give us sights, sounds, and feelings, and you'll draw us into your scenes. By sight, you must mean description. I use that. Here, get this picture. There were many modern buildings downtown. The streets were very busy, and the people mostly wore the same clothes we do. Pardon me, but that's passive description. There were many buildings. The streets were busy. Passive, dull. Try using strong nouns and active verbs. Active verbs put life into a description. And besides that, it sounded like New York City. No, it was Saul, South Korea. Then pick out specific sites that belong to Seoul and not just any town and use active verbs. Yes. All right, let's see what I remember. A massive gate from the ancient city wall stands marooned in a stream of modern traffic. The fluted roofs of a Ye dynasty palace overshadowed by high-rise hotels. Women in brightcolored fulllength traditional dresses floating like flowers through the brown gray streets. You're getting closer by creating images with feeling and movement. Yes. And don't forget the other four senses. There are, you know, words that suggest sounds. For example, the thin tattling of a [Music] mandolin, a sizzling hamburger, a wet mop that flops down and goes slurping into a corner. Suggesting aromomas is another means of sharpening the reader's awareness of place. The fishy mud bottom smell of an Ozark lake or the whiny smell of apples spoiling in a musty cellar. A movie lobby may be remembered by the warm aroma of buttered popcorn. And there's the sense of touch. The feel of cold plastic and hard metal suggests one type of setting, while the feel of polished wood and soft velvet chairs suggests a different atmosphere. Familiar tastes also stir a response in the reader. Not only the sweet taste of caramel or the sour acidy taste of lemon, which tightens your jaw muscles, but also the fresh, mood-provoking taste of a sea breeze, gusty and seasoned with salt. I never realized description could be so involving. It can, but be careful not to let sensory appeal become an end in itself. Use it judiciously. Now you're afraid I'm going to overdo it. Just remember three things. Don't talk about incidents. Show them happening. Use strong nouns and active verbs. Make use of sense impressions. Do you want to know what I really saw and heard and felt in my trip? A bridge strung like a clothesline between mountains. Raincarved heels with peaks as jacket is broken glass. Gray ribs that lift their skirts at the corners to reveal pettic coats of riotous colors. The solemn drumming and chanting of monks, the metallic clamor of an assembly line, and the meditative silence of a pavilion beside a steel pond. The air stirred into haze by crowds sifting through a narrow market street. A Buddha image towering above the trees like a skyscraper with the teiered ribs of a temple like a toy village at its feet. [Applause] [Music]