Porklips Now

don't be thinking about that stuff just relax and enjoy the film by the way the running time is 7 hours and 29 minutes thank you [Music] together [Music] my friends [Music] I learned it Dullard a dollar hey eight dollars come here a minute it's important come here tell it sit down [Music] oh happy Fourth of July Dullard thanks Don same to you that's a state I'm great absolutely outstanding beef pretty good huh I don't know how much it costs it's been cents a pound hey that's great that's terrible it's Fred Mertz remember merch Motors well he abandoned his dealership suddenly then he turned up in Chinatown he opened a butcher shop since then his methods have become unsound free play the tapes for the man this was monitored from a local radio station fantastic incredible it's brutal and madman Mertz has obviously gone totally insane prices with a straight razor that's right just listen to these unbelievable low prices lobster tails only 15 cents a bushel filet mignon or it's a pound it whole side's incredible low price of 99 Cents come on down we've got prices for the whole family and free baloney for the kids you can't afford not to be down here right now taking advantage of these totally insane prices it's incredible yes we're completely over stock so come on down today right now versus Meat Market Chinatown we'll see you here bye kids hurry he's up there operating Beyond The Pale of any decent merchandising procedure stealing our customers making us look bad it's demanding so we as representatives of the meat Cutters protective Association have elected you to go up through the Chinatown I ain't the births and uh and what what he means is you go in there and you find him and well you no I don't know you know find Birds and get my drift will you find him and when you find them you take care of business you know gate hurts you know what we mean don't you what we're leading up to is uh go in there and you find him you find mercs gate you find birds and you hello indicate fine person what are you guys talking about what he means you know you're gonna find him fine get my drift Suburbia shoot just when you think you'll have a quiet weekend you get the charcoal going just right something always comes up hey Jump On In Hitman I'm slick we call him cook I'm Rick they call him Coop where you headed I'll just uh Uptown a little ways Chinatown [Music] I was given a lift in a 63 Pontiac a make of convertible pretty common to these streets that was fine I could use the fresh air and sunlight only thing is I wouldn't be alone [Music] slick or cook the driver he was a rock and roller with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake and he was cruising for a bruising [Music] and the skateboarder Rick the one they called kook well he wasn't playing with a full deck Fred how do you figure a guy like that head of the Rotary Club JC's doing a land Office business and used cars little league coach of the year etc etc but Chinatown he sure was one crazy son of a gun all right amateur photographers always cutting off the head hey hey hey aren't you Rick hodad yeah yeah I seen your skateboard before outstanding so I'm outstanding I like the way you Hang Ten give me five hey I'm taking my people over to a real dangerous construction site we're gonna shoot the pipeline you want to come no we gotta take this guy over to Chinatown sport see you around I love the smell of carbon monoxide in the morning [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] Kilroy was having the time of his life but with wackos like him lives I wonder what the big deal was about merch [Music] ants let's check it out no man never get out of the car never get out of the car absolutely gosh darn right not unless he had to go to the bathroom never get out of the car Mertz got out of the car and then he got out of the car business got into the meat business then he started giving the business to his competitors now his competitors wanted to nip his business in the bud but what did they really want with Mertz anyway accusing a guy like that of unfair pricing was like handing out parking tickets at the Indy Speedway wait a minute that speeding ticket to the parkway smile smile like you were acting look at the camera wait look at the camera like you were acting come on smile smile smile wait Slow Down slow down wait look at the camera smile slow down wait wow merch slowed down and when he stopped he knew there was no way back what did he see up there in Chinatown anyway I mean besides a lot of cheap souvenirs [Music] [Music] holy cow maybe he was nuts how the heck did he expect to make a buck selling stuff this cheap well I guess I wouldn't mind picking up a couple of those Stakes while I'm there that kid is really specializing and busting my concentration it was no wonder those other butchers wanted merts out of the way still but with meat prices the way they are today he couldn't be all bad sure takes a terrible picture though we gotta get out of here [Music] I was going to Chinatown and I don't even like Chinese food what would I find when I got there but I find Fred Mertz and if I found him but I feel like finding them again in half an hour Chinatown [Music] [Music] he was close real close I couldn't see him yet but I could sense that he was claws he was so close you could really feel the closeness he was almost too close for comfort thank you [Music] boy was he close now way closer than earlier it was still closer now very very close that's for sure [Music] words can't describe how close merch you went there to see him he's in there he's in there but he's out there nobody's in there I mean he's really out there you know what I'm saying I mean the other day he stopped me and he said he said uh uh I mean he's a pool and he don't know it he said to me you know a dog is spelled backwards God and that was his way man that was his way of saying that was his way of saying we're all dogs I mean we're dog dog weight he'll clue it for you he'll fix it for you come on in I mean I don't know what he says things every day I mean this is the center of the universe I mean he he's big we're small I mean man he's my main man I mean he's my child main man His Marvelous is wonderful it's it's doggy doggy doo this was the end of the road all night the armpit of the world I knew now I wouldn't make it back home in time for dinner I didn't care with those gangster butchers would say anymore No More Mr Nice Guy this is absolutely the last time I play Aaron boy for anyone this is a they they say Dullard but they what the beef was [Music] did they say he thinks I'm gonna tell secrets he's getting nothing from me you're nothing but an Aaron boy sent by butchers to protest the grocery bill oh is this guy psychic or what did you know the alerted today is the first day of the rest of your life oh brother this guy's a fruitcake by the shores gitchigumi by The Shining big sea Waters Mighty teepee and the Maiden Minnehaha desiderata go quietly amid the noise and haste and remember what the peace there may be and in in silence I had no shoes and you played until I met a man who had no socks think about that Dullard Oh no you're a better man than I am going to get in [Music] I could have had class I could have been a contender oh shut up [Music] hold on a minute folks so just a moment it's me again the director if you'll bear with me for one moment I've got a couple of uh minor changes here I've got some new stuff here it's a work in progress you know and I want the audience to participate in the filmmaking process I'm splicing this stuff in here manually you know but in the future it'll all be electronic technology okay I guess we're all set here let's try this stuff out roll film multiple choice endings pick one of the following ending a do you find my method acting unsound I saw no acting at all tell her you slay me [Music] but I wanted to talk to you about [Music] ending B I think that I shall never see a poem lovely as a truth colored Dullard dollars we're not a very good listener are we Derek bye-bye I have been thinking of opening a head shop [Music] ending C your fears that are they they have a name they they have an address you have to walk right up to your fears stuttered and just spitting your eye [Music] the war Tower movies [Music] now this is actually the end of the film my friends foreign no kidding this time we really need it for sure the end it's all these adios silence please [Music] [Music] questions [Music]