Phoney Express (1962)

[Music] London Town, city of excitement. This is the embassy, Sim International Protocol. And on his way here is the famed criminologist, Inspector Willoughby. That's me, folks. And my assignment is to apprehend the international spy, X13. X13 is suspected to be loitering in the vicinity of the embassy. Dear me, I believe that was the bounder. You are under arrest. X13, you have the wrong man. See, there is no resemblance. There is now. [Music] Taxi, follow that path. [Music] Little does he know I am on this plane. Little does he know I am on his tail. Thank you. Two lumps, please. Thank you. I'll head him off at the passport office. Mr. to random. [Music] Little does he know I'm still on his tail. The jig is up this time. X13. [Music] Cloak and dagger express for spies. Stool pigeons, sneak thieves, informers, card sharks, and other desirable. Ah, my kind of people. He went that way. [Music] Stay where X13, you may step forth. Ah, now you step forth. To protect myself, I shall have to eliminate you. Oh, I wouldn't say that. [Music] Aha! I have a plan. Oh, there you are. I have you now. Oh, no. I have you. Now you will make like a pancake like flat. Oh no. Now you come with me, Mr. Spy. You have reached the end of your deceitful quail. Oh no, this fellow is getting bothersome. He's in the club car. Phew. That was close. Thanks to my nimble footwork. Oh, excuse me, madam. Come in, young man. Let us share a cozy little lunchon together. Sit right here and I will get some goodies. [Music] Poison pimmens, tainted tarts, quick lime quinces, toine tomatoes, and hot dog with mustard gas. [Music] All kinds of poison food. Warning signal. Trapped door. Won't let it in. My, that was delicious. What is the matter with him? No. [Music] Oh, sure. He did it again. He's in the mail car. [Music] You can't escape X13. [Music] Don't look now, but [Music] that's what I call apprehending crime on a big scale. [Music]