Personal Hygiene (ca 1950)

[Music] it's the dawn of a new day the world awakens the birds Twitter a rooster crows and soon as always will come that Sound of Music sweet to the ears of all [Music] [Applause] [Music] servicemen [Music] [Music] the lulling strains of first call haven't sounded yet so they're still sleeping peacefully well some of them that is Mike Doyle here seems to be having trouble with his feet Joe KU must have eaten something that didn't agree with him or with his stomach Tom Davis sounds like a flower Mill but he's grinding his teeth wonder what's giving him bad dreams was he too tired after that hike for his shower last night and looked at Homer Turner well he seems to be troubled from head to foot with everything from Galloping dandruff to creeping [Music] more trouble for [Music] Homer what's it time to get up fell what time to get up what what where you going K what the matter hey hey let me down you hey hey hey follow wait hey let's [Music] go say what's the big idea of ducking me in the creek say what I want this why did you do what did you Now's the Time When a fell really needs a friend [Music] look down look down that lome Ro before you [Music] travel look [Music] look and see your maker feeling low Homer low if I felt any lower I'd be 6 feet on the ground maybe that's why even your best friends won't tell you are you trying to tell me that I smell oh no Homer I smell you stink Now you listen here to me now you listen to me it's time you did more listening and less talking it's time you found out why your own buddies hold their noses a fighting mood good maybe if you're in a fighting mood you can do something about fixing up what's wrong with you like what like taking a bath regularly for instance with soap and hot water you're a soldier in the Army I'm a good soldier what Good's a soldier if he spends most of his time in the hospital I'm not a gold brick I haven't landed in the hospital yet no but you're going to how Homer you know what germs are they're little old bugs they're killer bugs you want to know something in the last war we often had more casualties from those little old bugs than we had from actual combat but what those little bugs got to do with me germs are all around you billions of them and on you too right now the little bugs aren't going to harm me you ever read this Manuel I tried it once got too many long words in it Too Much book learning for me book learning is for soldiers too I came across this the term Dermot toois includes a group of infectious skin diseases caused by various fungi microscopic mes which rarely penetrate deeper than the outer layer of the skin and may involve the hair and nails ringworm Tena athletes feet EP dermo phytosis TR how can you expect me to remember words I can't even pronounce we're a tring such a heavy no but you can remember words of those folk songs you sing Oh them well they've got rhyme and Rhythm and reason look down [Music] look yeah it looks as though Homer is still quite a problem for Kelly and the other men in his Barracks didn't that dunking business do the trick with Homer nope he wouldn't take the hint ah you mean we have to keep on eating living and sleeping with hopeless Homer what about our barn dance if Homer's restricted he can't play in our Orchestra it'll sound like mud without Homer's guitar I've got my girl Myrtle all lined up for a date for the dance Saturday your girl yeah why you lame brain dumbhead I found it didn't I yeah and you lost it to me see hey cut it out we've got something more important Homer how are we going to get him off the restricted list he forgets everything he's told about keeping himself clean I bet if they gave him the rules in folk song lyrics he'd remember them then oh sure sure we'll have the sergeant send a memo to the captain subject personal hygiene how about having them the manual Rewritten in folk song hey wait a minute maybe we got something there hey the sergeant would think you were nuts but it would work with Homer we could all get together and change the personal hygiene stuff to read in and folk song lyrics you wrote the songs for the camp show Mike come on Mike how about giving out something for old Homer huh sure sure like um if you brush your teeth and wash your socks you'll never wind up with the Medics and docs no kidding fellas I think we can te home or personal hygiene with song lyrics how's this what are we going to do with a dirty Soldier what are we going to do with a dirty soier what are we going to do with a dir Soldier early in the morning oh my how he rises oh my how he rises oh my how he rises early in the morning [Music] put him in a shower to wash all over put him in a shower to all over put him in AER toh all over early in the morning my now he rises oh my now heises oh my now [Music] Hees will in the morning without Bo in the morning good stuff hey hey how about dreaming up something about soap and water for Homer for tomorrow morning soap and water eh yeah let's see now how about oh soap and water make you cleaner than you used to be cleaner than you used to be cleaner than you used to be soap and water make you cleaner and you used to be keep you fresh and clean keep you fresh and clean keep you fresh and CLE so and make CLE you us to be keep you fresh andle keep you fresh and clean keep you fresh and clean and Mak you cleer than you used to be keep you fresh and CLE you know Mike those are pretty good lyrics got anymore sure but you got to get in here with us yeah those are Shower lyrics H come on in the water's fine oh cut it off hey hey cut it off C hey hey hey hey hey come here you smell sweet you us to be you used to beet than you used to be you'll be neat neater than you used to be when you get rid of when you get of you get of if you brush your teeth You'll Always Find you'll have all your teeth to chew and grind you got to brush your choer all around not side to side but up and down them up and them down keep your Cho and your teeth to stay around you're and oh yeah had no teeth in your infancy and you'll still have none in the Infantry if you don't take care of your teeth and gums You'll wish you had when a tooth a com up and brush them down keep your Choppers clean and sound your to stay around and them up and them down keep your chers clean and sound your te to stay around Homer's initiation to person hygiene is beginning to make a better Soldier out of him and may help him get back his class a pass and now he's starting the day out right a bath and a tooth scrubbing oh yes he'll wash his hair and scalp too and have his hair trim regularly there's nothing like that well groomed look to start the day off right now he knows he shouldn't wear socks with holes are large men's in [Music] them so he'll put on a fresh pair of clean socks as confucious said man who do not change socks daily change friends daily it's healthier too no dirt no germs no sore and itchy feet he also so knows that his socks should fit him just right large enough to allow his toes to move freely but not too loose or they'll wrinkle and cause [Music] blisters shoes are important also when your feet hurt you hurt all over are Homer shoes too big if so he's inviting trouble there should be no binding around undo pressure when his foot is expanded by body weight hey Pat yeah I think I got the new marching song Down okay good let's go through it before child hey fellas yeah Pat let's rehearse Homer's new marching song again good up man oh when you go marching down the road with a full pack on that's a heavy load your feet will never pain you a go well if your socks are clean if your shoes fit well on your feet corns and other w and bu will never smell like R if you Weck your on your feets and Jo never smelly like a rose if you wear clean sock shes your to hey Pat yeah you got any more lyrics from that Manual of yours yeah the boys and I were working on some while you were stuffing yourself with carbohydrates what do you mean this is a chocolate box yeah I know if you keep eating sweets like that you'll never have healthy teeth hey fellas let's give Homer another verse out of the manual [Music] home Turner eats and eats but badly balanced meals he stuffs his gut with gooey sweets no matter how he feels with a CH bar here milkshake there then he gets a belly a homer Turner eats and eats but badly ban meals Homer says his sweet too makes nibble sweets all day but if he stuffs and pies and cakes his sweet tooth will everywhere will be hey that's well but why are sweets good for you fat what does the manual say about that well sweets are good for you in moderation they got a heck of a lot of carbohydrates in them too much of that stuff makes your teeth Decay and tooth decay stops toothaches tooth decay stops toothaches sure oh that doesn't make sense you'll never have a toothache when all your teeth Decay and have to be pulled out Hank Daly over there hasn't had a toothache since he got his new set of false Choppers we Hank used to love steak now he eats mush if he didn't wear his his Dentures under his napkin but in his mouth he'd get used to them then he could eat almost everything a soldier's menu is scientifically planned to include every item needed to supply Vim Vigor and [Music] vitality [Music] in War and Peace all this strenuous activity requires not only the correct variety of foods but just as important Safe Drinking Water Pat knows that the only water available may be swimming with billions of germs that could pack a heavy wallet typhoid fever chera dissenter so he'll give that water the go by get it somewhere else he'll drink milk at Chow if it's available he knows it has lots of important elements his body needs hey cut it out Homer well I got to throw this stuff somewhere boy you sure have a lot to learn take a look at this manual Mike and dream up some lyrics about flies flies huh we'll meet you under the big tree right come on Homer take a look at that Homer Flies what about it you ever hear a diarrhea Homer some sort of sickness with the kick of a bazooka but what a fly's got to do with diarrhea flies are troop carriers for diarrhea bugs carry him by the millions you get hit by a diarrhea bug Homer and you'll be flat on your back hollering Medic in no time here that's why we have to make sure our mescar is always clean thoroughly gos off all the bugs and flies may leave on watch the hot and a boy many areas have latrines available if not dig a cat hole use it cover it up this is important too always wash your hands after going to the latrine or also before eating or handling food of any kind germs you know billions of them there were he and the she flew away from home just to see what they could see come F come f f away hey I like that how about this first those flies thw away with a buzz buzz buzz with a load of germ bombs in their [Music] hey get this one fell they settle on the seat settle on tow settle up a with some GI F fly fly [Music] away those FES flew away with the buzz they went blew into a GI mess come come fly away they settled on a pot settled on a pan settled a hash for Soldier man these filthy flies is he and she could get hitch and raise a family come you fly away but you can head them off without using spit don't need them slops from your old M kit come a fly ypp ypp ypp come fly Y come a fly ypp come fly hey chief rain in the face I only sneezed what have you got a handkerchief for BL my nose of course he must have blown out all his brains last time he used it it looks like I'm not the only guy in this outfit that's a personal hygiene dope only dopes who never learn their ABCs will forget their cover tactics when they sneeze to avoid those shots and stitches cover up when that sneeze itches cover up and smother up germs and disease everybody onlyc when they shot and Stitch cover up when itch cover [Music] [Music] up we're pretty good you see jerk sneez and spreads germs and germs spread right so I'm sorry hey Mike how about me p few Hot Licks on that mtop huh oh no listen I got enough bugs of my own without mixing breeds with yours just one R I'm nuts next thing you want to use my pipe and then my toothbrush and then you want to kiss my girl Myrtle your girl yeah that's right at it again Myrtle's my girl oh yeah yeah and you better lay off see that's what you think oh yeah yeah that is Break It Up all In on the double [Music] Joe thinks personal hygiene is just a lot of Namby pambi stuff what he doesn't know is that an epidemic can start with one man spread to his buddies in his Squad infect an entire company and knock them out as effectively as a machine gun yes even impair the health and efficiency of an entire unit well what's wrong with Homer feet H shoes maybe Homer may know that old saying for want of a nail a shoe was lost but does he know that for want of a well fitting shoe a soldier can be lost even with mechanization an army still moves on its feet and a soldier's feet need constant first Echelon maintenance massage will help to loosen the those weary muscles and bring back circulation uh-oh a blister an open blister offers a standing invitation to infection Homer should have it examined immediately by an expert if possible a medic whose job it is to know about such things hey you better have the medic take a look at that blister Homer look bad medic there's another blister case you'd better trim those toenails they are trimmed no cut them Square across like Kelly those fingernails you'd better have them trimmed and clean too you know untrim toenails give you windr toenails dirty fingernails carry all sorts of bugs I know well you're learning Homer but you haven't learned the SOP on socks for marching its wool not cotton okay medic and your shoes are too big I like my shoes big and comfortable yeah that's why you rub the blister they have to be big enough to give your to some play but not too much play sure medic I'll remember next time well tonight you'll really be able to do some rug cutting at that fond dance oh yeah the only rug cutting I'll do will be in the barracks I'm fresh out of a class eight pass Kelly too bad Homer remember that too bad I still don't have my class A P too bad Homer too bad Pat must know something maybe the words reach the orderly room that Homer's getting himself straightened [Music] [Music] out [Music] [Music] and a boy Homer swing it now let's do jimy crack corn fell come on Jimmy Crack Corn hey let's get Homer to sing the lyrics yeah come on you're ated Homer give us a lyrics okay if you brush your teeth you always fine you'll have all your teeth to chew and grind no no Homer uh not those l oh no oh I get you what are you going to do with a dirty Soldier what are you going to do with a diry those lyrics are no good for a mixed audience oh now I got you Pat oh when I was young I used to think that water was only fit to drink but now I've learned it'll help chase dirt keep you healthy clean and SP and span is now my song SP and span be healthy and strong SP and span and you live until and let's go fellas and [Music] and [Applause] fellas and gals let's have a square some over here and some over [Applause] there honor your Corners honor your [Music] partners first come out and Le in the third four hands down in the circle the opposite way and you leave down behind you the G you in the [Music] circle andad to the in circle swing the opp [Music] behind behind [Music] alaman Left alaman Right Grand right left and comy land March for the AR go under all join hands for a center rush it [Music] again I think I'll go see Myrtle now Over My Dead Body you will okay if that's cut that rough stuff fellas neither one of you has Myrtle now she's got a new boyfriend Myrtle Homer [Laughter] [Music] it's night all is quiet again almost well well here's Homer and sleeping peacefully too remember how he used to scratch and squirm he's learned his personal hygiene lessons all right it's been a hard week for Homer but a fruitful one now he'll enjoy a night of refreshing sleep and he'll be ready for tomorrow alert clean and [Music] healthy