Pat Rocco: A Date with Phyllis (2003)

[Pat Rocco, voice over music and street noise] We're traveling down Sunset Boulevard. [Rocco] Way out of Los Angeles. Actually, we're in a place called West Los Angeles, because we're going to visit, [Rocco] a wonderful old friend. [Rocco] And we'll be there shortly. [Music] [Rocco] We're on another quiet street now. [Rocco] And we're about to make a right turn, [Rocco] onto a very important street to us because this is where our, [Rocco] wonderful person lives. [Rocco] We're at, ah, 163 Burlingame. [Rocco] And this is the house, [Rocco] of my friend, Phyllis Diller. [Music] [Rocco] We're right here, [Diller] Where is he? How are you. [Rocco] Hey, hey. [Kissing sound] [Diller] How are ya! [Rocco] Has it been twenty five years? [Diller] Pardon? No, no, it's been longer than that. [Rocco] Not since we've seen each other. [Diller] I know. But, we go back to, was it '55 or '56? [Rocco] Ah, '56. 1956. [Diller] '56. [Rocco] That's where it all began. [Diller] Oh, my God. [Rocco] My friend, David, who is behind the camera, he offered to, [Diller] He's a cinematographer. [Rocco] He is now. [Laughter] [Diller] Yes, yes. Okay. [Diller] Well. [Rocco] You look absolutely gorgeous. [Diller] Well, so do you. [Rocco] Do you know how gorgeous you look? [Diller] Well, that's what we do, you know. [Rocco] Uh, huh. [Diller] Good looking. [Diller] How long are you and David going to be doing this? [Rocco] As long as you like me too. And then when you say stop, [Diller] Now you understand it, see. [Rocco] Yeah. It's perfect for them. It would be, [Rocco] My big mistake, was thinking that it was, [Diller] That's an illusion. [Rocco] Am I the only one who thought that? [Diller] Yes. [Rocco] Okay. Do you think that. [Diller] Give me a minute. [Rocco] Okay. [Diller laughs] [Diller] Ah, so. [Rocco] This is wonderful. [Diller] Excuse me. This is the Hope salon. [Diller] And, ah, because of the [?] [Diller] Let's see if I can get this, from memory. [Piano music] [Rocco] That was nice. [Laughter] [Diller laughs] [Rocco] Well, that's good, as they say. [Diller] Very nice tune. [Diller, partially unintelligible] call your bluff. [Diller] One of my new best friends is Van Cliburn. [Rocco] Oh, okay. [Diller] Oh God, can he play. [Diller] Does that man play. Oh. [Rocco] Oh, here's one of my favorite pictures of you, right here. [Diller] Well, that's my favorite. [Rocco] Yes. [Diller] You better believe it. Now, this is my, [Diller] my youngest child. [Rocco] Mm, hmm. [Diller] He's now, sixty three. [Rocco] Okay. [Diller] These are his children. [Diller] But they're now of college age. [Rocco] Okay. [Diller] All right. And, of course, here is, [Diller] my guru. [Rocco] Of course. [Diller] Yes. [Rocco] So, we did a, um, we were one of four theaters in the United States to have a Bob Hope retrospective. [Rocco] One of four. [Diller] Aren't you brilliant. [Rocco] Yes. [Diller] This is the gothic alcove. [Rocco] It is gothic. [Diller] Isn't it gothic? [Diller] Oh, my word. [Rocco] These are all things that you, [Diller unintelligible] [Diller] Oh, oh, we [Unintelligible] [Diller] in New York. [Rocco] In New York. [Diller] This is the Coolidge porch. [Rocco unintelligible] [Diller] Come in here, David. [Diller] Because it's all antique wicker. [Diller] The Coolidge porch. Calvin Coolidge. [Diller] Silent Cal. [Rocco] It looks like, um, something that would be in the front of the Coronado Hotel in San Diego. [Diller] Exactly. [Rocco] Right, in the movie, "Some Like It Hot," or something. [Diller] Exactly. Exactly. [Diller] A lot of antiquity here, including me. [Rocco] And you, you spend some time out here. [Diller] Sitting in the sun. [Rocco] Little cool right now. [Diller] Little cool. [Diller] Always on a hot day. [Diller] There are seven fireplaces in the house, Pat. [Rocco] Seven fireplaces. [Dilller] Seven. [Rocco] All right. [Diller] Here's a fun picture. [Diller] Prince Philip, Chevy Chase. [Rocco] Mm, hmm. [Rocco] Can you get in close enough to see them? [David] I'm trying. [Diller] Brooke Shields, me and the girl that's playing gypsy right now. [Rocco] Ah, Bernadette Peters. [Diller] Bernadette Peters. [Rocco] And Prince Philip and, [Diller] Brooke Shields. [Rocco] Okay and, [Diller] Chevy Chase. [Rocco] That is Chevy Chase. [Diller] Yeah. [Rocco] Uh, huh. [Diller] That's [?] and mine. [Rocco] Mm, hmm. [Diller] Mine. [Diller] Everyone, everything that's here is mine, except the Picasso. [Rocco] And you don't have room for all of them because here they are sort of stacked. [Diller] Well, they're, they're, I think, [Rocco] They're waiting for a wall. [Diller] And, here, here, [Rocco] Come on. [Diller] And here in this room are more paintings. [Rocco] You have been busy. [Diller] Sally Kellerman. [Rocco] Oh sure it is. [Diller] Mm, hmm. [Rocco] Of course it is. [Rocco] Yeah. [Diller] Mm, hmm. [Diller] And this is a [?] court yard. Isn't that a darling thing. [Rocco] It is. [Rocco] Totally enclosed. [Diller] Nice for the cats. [Rocco] Mm, hmm. [Diller unintelligible] [Diller] Now this is the wardrobe. [Rocco] Oh, my. [Diller] These used to never be put away and I still haven't got, it's been a year and I still haven't, I still, they're still out there. [Diller] They used to just be permanently packing, unpacking, packing, unpacking, packing, [Rocco] And people ask you, [Rocco] "We are having our bazaar," and we are raising money for something or other.  And will you give us a hat or a handbag or a feather or something. I bet that happens a lot. [Diller] About twelve a day. [Rocco] Twelve a day. [Diller] Yeah. [Rocco] And some you say yes and some you say no. [Diller] I used to say yes to all of them. [Rocco] Yes. [Diller] But, it became [?] [Diller] and clothing, which I no longer have. [Diller] I don't have all that many clothes anymore. [Rocco] Okay. [Diller] Come look at the shoe [?]. [Rocco] You have a few. [Rocco] Um. [Diller] This is the Imelda Marcos side, [Rocco] I was gonna say you a few, Imelda, but the, [Diller] Yeah. Look over here. [Rocco] Both sides. [Rocco] Plenty. One for, [Diller] We have a few. [Rocco] One for every occasion. Every dress. [Diller] We have shoes. [Rocco] We have shoes. [Diller] Every color. [Diller] Come with me. [Rocco] Okay. [Diller] Now. Now this room is not done up. [Diller] Ah. And this is my harpsichord. [Rocco] A real harpsichord. [Diller] A real, built just for me. [Harpsichord music] [Rocco humming along] [Diller] Isn't that a, isn't that a sweet sound? [Rocco] That's fine. [Diller] Okay. [Diller] And then this next room, [Diller] is the card room. [Diller] I love to play cards. [Rocco] What, ah, what, cards do you play? [Diller] Diller Gin. [Rocco] Oh, my. [Unintelliglble] [Diller] Diller Gin. [Rocco] I love this, [Rocco] Look at this wall paper. I love this wallpaper. [Diller, talking over, unintelligible] [Rocco] And yeah, that is beautiful. [Diller] [?] flowers on there. [Rocco] Sure. [Diller] around, see that? [Diller] With, [?] [Rocco] [?] [Diller] I did it because, [Diller] I'm in the process of, [Diller] getting some, [?] [Diller] and, and selling on Sothebys. [Diller] That was my symphony outfit. That's gonna be in, [Diller] in, in the Smithsonian. [Rocco] These are all going in? [Rocco] Pretty much? All the selected ones. [Diller] The selected ones. Like this. [Rocco] You get to choose? [Diller] No, no, no. They choose. [Rocco] Really? [Diller] And this. I want you to lift it. [Rocco] Oh, my God. [Rocco] This weighs, [Rocco] twenty five, thirty five pounds. [Diller] That's right. When I was dressed for the symphony, they [?] [Rocco] I hope you've got to sit down sometimes. [Diller] Fifty pounds. [Diller] Isn't that interesting. [Rocco] It weighs a ton. [Diller] Yeah. [Rocco] That's all original beaded work. [Diller] Yes, that's all hand done. [Rocco] That is something else. Whoo. [Diller] Let's put that back in there. [Rocco] Let's put it in the same order. [Rocco laughs] Dare that you touch this. [Diller] I know. And then there is the other part of it. [Rocco] This is the symphony, [Diller] This goes over that. [Rocco] Over that? [Diller] Oh, yes. When I get it on, I actually, [Diller] What do you call it when you, [Rocco] Over dose? [Diller] No, you suffocate. You, ah, [Rocco laughs] Oh, that too. [Diller] You can't breathe. [Diller] You simply can't breathe. [Diller] Uh, there's a word for it. [Diller] Where you just, you know, [unintelligible] [Diller] Ha, ha, ha, ha. [Rocco] Very pretty. [Rocco] Mm. [Rocco] And everywhere I look, there's paintings all over the floor. [Diller] Well, back in the [?], [Rocco] Where is your [?] department at the moment? [Laughs] [Diller] And this room here is my ensem. [Rocco] Why is it called the ensem. [Diller] Because of that long ago [?], [Rocco] Oh, that's right. [Diller] Pretty much that kind of [?] [Rocco] Are you getting ready for Christmas? [Diller] No, it's from last Christmas. [Rocco laughs] [Diller] I'm a little behind with, [Diller] with everything. [Diller] My little kitchen. [Unintelligible] [Diller] This is [?] [Rocco] We're, [?] [Diller] [?] leaving dominoes around. [Rocco] Yes, he did. [Diller] Notice there's no, it's all candle light. [Rocco] Okay, two, four, six, eight, [Dilller] Twelve. [Rocco] ten, twelve. [Rocco] And how often do you get twelve? [Diller] Well, all the time. [Rocco] All the time? [Diller] Oh, God, yeah. All the time. [Rocco] Really. [Diller] Okay. [Diller] This is my office. [Diller] And my other piano. [Diller] This is my favorite piano. [Diller] This one. [Rocco] Really. [Diller] Ah. [Diller] This is the real, [Diller] The only thing I can still play is, [Piano music] [Diller] That's a real piano. [Rocco] I bet you that is not really the only thing you can play. [Diller] No, that's about it. [Rocco] [?] [Diller] Well. [Diller] But, it's not something you, [unintelligible] [Rocco] This is your own private office. [Diller] This is my office. [Rocco] This is a picture, [Rocco] I have not seen, but it looks gorgeous. [Talking over each other, unintelligible] [Diller] It's got a light. [Rocco] Yes, that's a beauty. [Diller] Isn't that nice. [Diller] Absolutely a [?] [Diller] And he did it without [?] [Unintelligible] [Rocco] Come in closer and take a look at this. This is beautiful. [Diller] You wouldn't know it's a painting. [Rocco] Uh, huh. [Rocco] I would have, I would have sworn this is, [Diller] I know. Everybody thinks so. [Rocco] Uh, huh. That is nice. That is beautiful. [Rocco] Obviously you like it or it wouldn't be here. [Diller] No, I'm very fond of it. [Rocco] I don't blame you one bit. [Diller] Very fond of it. [Rocco] Do you want me to turn that off. [Diller] Oh yeah. [Rocco] Where is it? [Diller] Right, whoa, whoa. There it is. [Rocco] Got it. [Diller] Ah. [Rocco] These things all mean something to you. I mean, why would you, [?] [Diller] Hello, Dolly. [Rocco] This is Dolly of course. [Diller] There's Dolly. [Rocco] Hello, Dolly! [Rocco] Ah, and St. James, in New York. [Diller] Uh, huh. [Rocco] Yeah. How long did you play, "Hello, Dolly?" [Diller] Three months. [Rocco] And loved it? [Diller] Adored it. [Diller] This is Charlie Chaplin in  Switzerland. [Rocco] Oh. [Diller] Went to a wedding there. One of his daughters got married. [Rocco] All right. [Diller] Johnny Carson when he was a young boy. [Rocco] Ha. [Diller] That's Stephanie, the second to the youngest of the children. [Rocco] I remember Stephanie. [Dilller] This proves that dogs look like their owners. [Rocco] Yes. [Diller cackles] Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. [Diller] And this is Danny Thomas, [Rocco] Danny Thomas, [Diller] with both of our old noses. [Rocco] Mm, hmm. [Diller] And here's [?] and me with both of our old noses. Jack Benny. [Diller] [?] now. [Diller] This is Richard. I'm very [?]. [Diller] My parents. [Diller] The Smothers Brothers. [Rocco chuckles] [Diller cackles] Ha, ha, ha, ha. [Diller] Barbra Streisand at her first play date. [Rocco] Ah, that picture was recently reproduced in, in some magazine. I just saw it. [Diller] [?] [Rocco] Yeah. [Diller unintelligible] [Diller unintelligible] [Rocco] And that's the Phyllis look that I remember.  Because we go back that far. [Rocco] And we have evolved, [Diller] Hairstyles change. [Rocco] we have evolved through the years. [Rocco] All of us. [Laughs] [Diller] Yes, we certainly have. [Rocco] And we're back home. [Diller] Actually. [Diller] Now these are very pretty posters, Pat. [Rocco] Well, they're for a special reason, for a special person. [Diller] It says here, [Laughs] [Rocco] That's true. [Diller] I don't know. I don't know anybody that old. [Rocco] I own a little theater in Hawaii. [Rocco] We're gonna celebrate your birthday this time as it says, [Rocco] and we're gonna have a birthday cake and things like that. [Rocco] For the first time, you're going to have a birthday cake. [Rocco] And, ah, [Rocco] And people are gonna come in. We're gonna show film clips and things that people haven't seen, that I, [Rocco] I've personally collected. [Dilller] There's so much that I don't even know. [Rocco] Well. [Diller] You know, you're a real collector. [Rocco] I'm a real collector. And, but mostly, I'm not a real collector of everything. I'm a real collector of one of my favorite people. [Diller, kiss sound] I don't know about you. [Rocco laughs] So, [Rocco] No, no, this that we're taping now. [Rocco] We'll show it in the theaters. They'll say, 'Look, it's real! This is, this is Phyllis Diller." [Diller] You're gonna have a whole bunch of these? [Rocco] Yeah, and we're gonna have some at the theater. [Diller] All right. There we are. [Rocco] We'll see you there. [Diller] Bye! [Music] [Rocco, over music] And so we leave Phyllis Diller's beautiful home. [Rocco] And we head back to Hawaii. [Music crescendo]