Name That 1980s Comedian 47

dogs would be [laughter] it should do well. I mean, no, movies with animals always do well. Those Clint Eastwood movies with the orangutang, you know, those were Well, he's no fool, Clint Eastwood. He saw one actor with a monkey make it to the White House. And uh [laughter] who said, "Oh, gee, what a mature response that was." [laughter] My remark may have been tasteless, but it was a complete sentence. [laughter] Thank you. Are there a lot of Republicans here? I can't tell. Yeah, [applause] generally I can only tell when you wear that Republican clothing like they wear in Palm Beach. You know, you know, they have pants with sailboats on them. You know, they have pants with tennis rackets. They have pants that just say proud to be gentile. [laughter] [gasps] I when I said monkey, by the way, I was referring to the chimpanzeee that Mr. Reagan chose to co-star with Well, for any of you who thought I meant Nancy, but I hate her. I [laughter] [applause and cheering] Well, oh, no. I mean, I'm sure she hates me. I'm not her type, but I Well, she set feminism back a hundred years, you know. Well, she has a dress code at the White House. Do you know about this? This is true. Women are not allowed to wear pants to the White House now. They have to wear skirts and dresses. Men have to wear jackets. They were actually going to have a rule that black people couldn't wear dreadlocks, you know. But [laughter] then they realized that was a silly rule to have because they're not going to invite any black people to the White House. [laughter] Not Ron Nancy Bob. He's no big favorite of mine. I have to admit he belongs to the Bohemian Grove. Do you know what that is? It's a summer camp for businessmen and politicians and they don't let women in. And then every summer they dress up like women and put on shows. Oh god. Well, you know what kind of mentality is opera? People who think men are better because they can go to the bathroom standing up. What is that? I mean, you wonder what kind of great statesmanship comes out of a statement like that. Possibly the trickle down theory, but that's [laughter] Well, no, you're good and political. I like that. Well, New York is more political than LA. It's where you had the signs, ban the bomb, ban nuclear reactors. In LA, I saw one sign once in Beverly Hills that said band sole. [laughter] The beach is a big thing there. You know, I I'm always have this nightmare that I'm going to wake up one day and be a surfer. You know, I'll go to the mirror like, "Oh, wow." You know, like intelligence is my blind spot. New Yorkers make fun of LA because of that laidback thing that laidback is a very difficult concept for a New Yorker to grasp. We don't even have the words. We call it legally dead. [laughter] But they make fun of us. People are afraid to come to LA because they're afraid I mean to New York because they're afraid they're going to be mugged. See, to me, there's so many worse things in life that can happen to you. You could go to San Francisco for one thing, you know. Oh, no. This is not going to be a gay joke. Don't worry about that. Okay. My dog is gay. And I No, he really is. He is. The vet said it's normal in nature. So, there you go. I didn't know he was gay. I mean, I got this dog at the pound, you know. Well, I was looking for a happy dog, so he was beyond happy. But he was in a kennel with three bulldogs and a Doberman pincher. It's when I got him home, he got depressed. But I didn't know what was wrong. I mean, there were hints. He had little t-shirts with the sleeves rolled up, you know. >> [laughter] >> sat around listening to Judy Garland records all day. No, now see, you got me off track. Is anyone If you go to San Francisco, people in San Francisco know this is true. Unfortunately, they're not here to laugh at it. But if you go to San Francisco worse than a mugger, you cannot walk down the street in San Francisco without being attacked by a mime. [laughter] Oh, it's so awful. You're you're maybe fleeing from a mugger. A man with a white face and a black hat is ugly. [laughter] Building a wall for no apparent reason. You know, all right. So, he does it better. My mind stinks. I don't care. Well, it takes 18 years or something to learn how to do it properly. Which is how you know only stupid people go into it [laughter] cuz it only takes two years to learn how to talk. But well, their vocabulary is so limited. All they do is build a wall, lean against a mantel. This is going to help me on my tax return next year. You know what I mean? You can't even say, "Let me go by." They go, [laughter] "And then they ask you for money." I paid him. I mean, I went, [laughter] [applause] "Thank you very much. Thank you. [music] >> [applause and music] >> Thank you very much. You have a you actually do have a a nasty cold here >> and I think proof of it right there. >> Just bringing up Flem. >> That was my talent for the Miss America contest. [laughter] >> You brought tissues. That's very nice. >> Did somebody bring tissues for you? >> Yes. Yeah. >> That was very nice. >> Some of the guests appearing on this program receive tissues. >> [laughter] >> Uh, did you Now you mentioned you have a dog. You actually have a dog, huh? >> Yes, I did. Do you want to see a picture of it? >> Sure. Do you have a photo of the dog? >> Yes, I did. >> He does tricks, but we don't want to talk about those. >> They're on 42nd Street mainland. >> Is there something that we should know about this photo? >> This is the dog. >> No, of course we Now, this is a cutie. >> Yeah, that's a handsome dog. What is the dog's name? >> Pound dog. >> Pound dog. >> He's from the pound. from the pound as a >> You ain't nothing but a pound dog. >> Oh, I see. A pound dog.