Mr Big

Don't you give me any problems. Hey, empty your pockets. Now what? According to the late Late Show, I'm entitled to make a phone call to my attorney. Or don't you have television yet out in this neck of the woods? Use that one. Mike, where are you? Centerville. It's a nothing town out on Route 30. What are you doing there, Prophet? I need help. Local John Darn seems to be of the opinion that I'm going to spend the night in a county jailhouse. What happened? Well, you know these small town types. It's raining out here. I'd had a couple of drinks along the way and some old woman came out of a side road. We kissed fenders and I want you to get out here with bail. What are the charges? Reckless driving intoxication. Maybe manslaughter. Manslaughter. Well, that's what I said. Manslaughter. All right, I'm leaving now. And Mike, take my advice. For once, don't throw your weight around. Don't worry. I can handle this. You just get out here with 500 bucks. I expect you in 3 hours at the outside. I'm not spending my time in any Hicktown jail. Not me. Okay. Now, empty your pockets. Just a second, Constable. If you think I'm spending the time in there, mister, I know you're going to spend the time in there. Now, maybe you call this a hick town, but we have some respect for human life here. And mister, if that woman dies, we'll send you so far up the river, you may never get [Music] back. [Music] Haven't you got an empty? What about that one? That's the drunk tank. It's empty now, but it won't be for long. This is Saturday night. [Music] You can't do this to me, deputy. You're going to regret this when my lawyer gets here. You can't do this. What do you know, Mr. Big? They just [Laughter] did. I'll take the upper. What's your name? Waters. Don't let him bug you. He can't help himself. Tough for him. Hey, Mr. Big. You hear me talking? Mister, I want to show you something, Mr. Big. Take it easy, Carl. It's all right, Lanny. I just want to show him. This is how you ring for room service. See, maybe you wish a change of sheets in the master bedroom. Or maybe some champagne and caviar for a bedtime snack. All you got to do is ring. All right. All right. Oh, really, Mr. Big? Yelling won't help. The service is terrible here. When your little heart desires something, you've got a ring. It's enough, Carl. I just want to show off that. Now, that ain't going to help none. It ain't going to make you feel no better. It's just noise and it won't last. Now you go on. Go and try and get some sleep. [Music] Ly, is that what he called you? Yeah. Yeah. Lanny Williams. Mike water. [Music] Got some news for you, order. No speeches. Deputy, your attorney just called. Just open it. Let me see. Well, that's the news. He's not coming tonight. I'm coming. Seems something happened with his car about halfway down here. He's checking in at the motel. Oh, he hopes to be here in the morning. Good night, Mr. What? Wait a minute. You can't leave me locked up in here like a common criminal. Come here. Well, hold it a minute. Come here. Well, can't we talk about this privately? I'm sure we can work out something. Talk. Look, that woman you hit is still unconscious. I checked with the hospital a little while ago. They told me that even if she does pull through, she could be paralyzed for life. So, you better get used to the idea of being in jail, Mr. Waters. You might be in here for a long time. But he doesn't like the accommodation. That's not very considerate of you. Look, I don't know who or what you are, but I've had just about enough out of you. Mr. Waters, don't. He He'll be okay in a minute or so. Just leave him alone. Who is he? What's he doing in here? Tell him, Lenny. Now, it ain't going to be necessary, Carl. Oh, really? You should let him in on it. Think what a hit he can be when he gets back among his friends at the country club. Here, Throck Morton. Oh, boy. Have another martini while I tell you about the night I spent in jail with a condemned killer. Now, Carl, it ain't going to do no good. You'll be the life of the party, Mr. Big. You can tell all your high class friends how you were framed. Sure, framed. and how you spent the night with the dregs of society, the creeps you were in with the animals. Now, you're not an animal, Carl. You're simply a man and you're paying for a crime like a man has to. All right. That stuffed shirt gets under my skin, that's all. What's a psychotic like that doing here in the county jail? Well, this is a town where they held his trial. They convicted him last week. The judge sentenced him yesterday. They'll be taking him up to the state pen in the morning. He's going to die in electric chair. Come on, Charlie. What? Oh, good morning, Sheriff. It was such a short night. Now, it's been a long one, Charlie, and it ain't over yet. So, don't you give me any problems, [Music] eh? Wherever we met. I don't heavy. Hey, you're new here, aren't you? Welcome. Be it ever so humble. There's no place like home. Quiet, Charlie. Oh, but sure. I'm so glad to be home again. This is so warm. Sheriff, there it go. Well, that's it, Deputy. I've had it. You can't keep me locked up in here like a common criminal with drunks and murderers. I'll have your job for this, deputy, no matter what it cost. Now, hold it right there. Mister, I don't know who you are on the outside, but in here, you're just another prisoner. So, save it for the judge. I have a feeling you're going to need it. Beautiful. Beautiful. Poor Mr. Big. That stupid old woman. One in a car. Of course, the one in the car. Dumb old comes poking her nose out in the highway without even looking where she's going. It's not my fault it was raining and the road was slick. It's not my fault it was a curve in the road. I couldn't possibly see her in time. Well, you say you were coming around a curve. It was an accident. If I were really guilty, it would be different. But But you were framed, right? It was an accident. They're trying to make something else out of it. But I wasn't drunk. Of course not. Anybody can see a respectable man like you. Not Charlie there. Now he's a drunk. How many martinis did you have? I wasn't drinking. Well, two or three maybe, but I wasn't drunk. What were you celebrating? I just completed a very successful business trip and I was feeling good. So, I had a couple along the way. Poor Mr. Big. Shut up. You a respectable man like you. A pillar of society. Police brutality. That's what it is. Look, don't let him bother. He He can't help himself. I'd like to get my hands on him. Just once. What would you do to me? I'd shut your filthy mouth for you, you animal. You should be put away here. And the woman that got in your way. Would you like her put away, too? That wasn't my fault. I'm not responsible. She did that to herself. Anyone who drives like that deserves. You don't care if she lives or dies. You're only interested in your own skin. In your heart, you're a killer, Mr. Big, you're not better than I am. You're a killer. [Music] [Music] Period. Period. Period. The state versus Mr. Big. Court is now in [Music] session. The prisoner will approach the bench. [Music] It's time you got here. I told you to hurry. Now let me do the talking. What is it, Sheldon? What's going on? It's your trial. The woman is dead. You are charged with a crime of murder. Your name is Mr. Pig. Is that correct? No, that's not my name. Well, there seems to be a difference of opinion about that. Witness, how say you? Yeah, that's his name, I guess. And you, witness witness. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's Mr. Big. I met him in jail. Mr. Prosecutor, what is the defendant's true name? Mr. Big. Mr. Defense attorney, you've known the defendant for many years. What is his name? Yes, I've known him for a long time. Come on, Shel. Tell him. Tell him the truth. And his name is Mr. Big. No, that's not true. This trial is rigged. It's phony. This is injustice. I'm not responsible for I'm a respectable citizen. Mr. Defense Attorney, how do you plead? Innocent by reason of respectability. Mr. Prosecutor, how say you? Guilty by reason of being only respectable. In his heart, he didn't care if the woman lived or died. All he cares about is his own skin. No, that's not true. Now stay away from me. No, I I didn't do it. I'm not responsible. A the court finds you guilty as charge. No, don't. Please, children, help me. Please. No. [Music] What's the matter, Mr. Big? Something on your mind? [Music] All right, Charlie, on your feet. Take it easy, sir. Take it easy. I don't know if you're more in a hurry to throw me in or rush me out. Charlie, I just want to get you out in time to make the services at the mission around the corner. Charlie, that's not a bad idea. It's a good idea, Charlie. Why don't you go out and hear what they have to say? Oh, Lanny. Well, it won't hurt to give him a chance. Well, I could use the coffee. Come on, Sheriff. How soon? Anytime now. You better get yourself ready. Sure. [Music] Lenny, that's a Bible you're reading, isn't it? Yeah, Carl, it's a Bible. Could you find the 23rd Psalm? Well, sure. You want me to read it for you? It's the only part of the Bible I know. I'm scared, Lyn. I know, Carl. I know. The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yay, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Go on, Lenny. Finish it. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil. My cup runth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Thanks, L. All right, Dustin. [Music] [Music] Maybe if I'd met somebody like you before. say a prayer for me once in a while. I will come and uh you try and remember some of the things I told you. Yeah. Sure. [Music] Seems kind of restless. Well, I guess I am a little. [Music] Yeah, it's kind of rough if you've never been locked up before. Lanny, I've been wondering. What are you doing here, a man like you? Well, why do you want to know? I've been doing a lot of thinking this past night. You know, he's right about me, Smith, in a way. I wasn't worried very much about that woman I heard. He called me Mr. big. I'm beginning to think he was right about me. Well, I know what you mean. I have to be Mr. Big myself. No, sometimes a man's got to get in a spot like this. Especially a proud man like I was. He's got to be brought down real low. That's what happened to me. Yeah, I was a big man. A real big man just to really throw my size and strength around. You know, I dared people to get in my way. Yeah, I was a mean guy. Mike understand now. I was pretty bad. Well, what happened? I used to pick fights all the time just for the fun of it. Then one night, big guy, he he challenged me and I killed him. But you seem so different now. Well, that was 2 years ago. They uh brought me down from the state pen for retrial. Some of the witnesses claimed it wasn't my fault. He started it. But I know it was my pride, the Mr. Big inside of me that did it. Whatever the law says, Lanny, when a man sees what he is inside himself, when he knows he's not good, a Mr. Big, what does he do? How does he live with himself? Well, that's the that's the best part of my story. I met a man, prison chaplain, and he helped me to find forgiveness, selfrespect. Forgiveness, Mike, that's what you need. God's forgiveness. That's what the chaplain helped me to see. That it's not just breaking the laws of man that makes us sinners. Oh, no. It's the pride that's in our hearts. The pride that makes us think we're little gods. That makes us think we're bigger than God Almighty and we can run our lives the way we want to. That's why Jesus had to die to pay for our blooming bigness for our being wise guys in the sight of God. So wise we thought we could break all his commandments and get away with it. A wise guy in the sight of God who thought he could get away with it. in the sight of God. Thank you, Lanny, for letting me get a good look at myself. But it's not only you you're going to have to look at, Mike. The secret is looking at someone else, at Christ. and knowing that he died to save foolish little Mr. Bigs like you and me. Thanks, Lanny. I'll always remember what you said. I just came from the hospital. She's going to be all right. Thank God. You okay? How have they treated you? Well, no complaints. Oh, the beds might have been a little bit hard, maybe, but that's to be expected, right, Dawson? Yeah. Yeah, that's to be expected. Well, let's get going, Mike. It's been a quiet night for me, Lanny. I'll never forget it. You know what Smith asked you about? Uh-huh. Well, maybe you can save one for me, too, once in a while. Okay. Okay, Mike. You take care. You here? Sure. Come on. I want to go over to the hospital and see that woman. I'm taking full responsibility for that accident. Come on out of it. Don't look so surprised. I'll explain it to you on the way home. Heat. Heat. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]