Morality for Youth (1982)

[Applause] Heat. Heat. [Music] [Music] Heat up here. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Oh, heat, heat. [Music] Make sure you get everything out of the Well, you're getting to be a pretty good bunch of river runners. How'd you like to do it again? You know that river demands respect every inch of the way. I don't want to try and frighten you or seem overcautious, but I saw some things out there today that we've got to talk about. Next time, Janie, keep your shoes on. That'll protect your feet from the cold and the rocks. And life jackets must be worn at all times. No exception. A couple of you were showing off in the rapids today. We just can't have that. You know, if just one person fouls up, a whole boat can be in trouble. On the river, as in life, most people get into trouble because they either overestimate their own ability or they underestimate the forces pulling them into danger. Bishop, have you ever been in a boat that's flipped over? I have. Once when I was a young river guide, I took a group much like this one down the river. Our rap is better anyway. There's no gas. Molly's going to come with us. All right, this is great. Okay, back on. All right, let's come on. Your life jacket. Go get it. Run, you guys. Let's go back. Way down here. You guys ready to go? Yeah, let's go. Guys, come on. Let's go. Let's go. [Applause] We're going the wrong way. Down that way. [Applause] Hey, you're going to need to put your life jacket on. Oh, I don't need it. There's no rapids right here. I'm a good swimmer anyway. We got to have it on. It's a Force of Earth regulation. Okay. Whatever. How's that? This is nothing. When I was here before, you should have seen it. There were so many rapids. What is this before stuff? And there was there was a bunch of deer up there and it was it was really pretty. Steve, has anybody drowned and got killed on this river? Yeah, once in a while things like that can happen. Hey, Steve, let's take those rapids over there. They're a lot better. No way. We'll never make it that way. You're just two chickens. Here, let me do it. All right, let's go. I know what I'm doing. Don't worry. I don't I don't Yeah. Heat. Fire. Are you all right? Are you okay? Where's Molly? Molly, there she is. You okay? We got to get her down. Holly breathe. Is she all right, you guys? Is there anything? You shoved her under. Come on. Is she breathing yet? Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. [Applause] Heat. Heat. We almost lost Molly that day. I realized there are things we do we can't undo. People can drown. You know, as a bishop, I I often think of the river and the lessons it teaches us. A run down the river is a lot like staying morally clean. You have to obey the rules and follow good counsel to get through safely. I know that some of you are in the rapids now. I just hope you're pointed in the right direction when you hit the big waves or you could capsize your lives. I like you guys. I don't want to lose any of you. Let's talk about sexual morality in the river. President Kimell has had a great deal to say about morality. I've heard him say that you young people are wholesome and basically good and sound. I believe that our young people are wholesome and basically good and sound. But they too are traveling where great disasters can come unless warnings are heeded. Concerning sexual purity, President Kimell has warned us that Satan will use his logic to confuse us and everything in his power to destroy us. He'll shade meanings, open doors an inch at a time to lead us from the purest white through all the shades of gray to darkest black. That the church's stand on morality may be understood. We declare firmly and unalterably. It is not an outworn garment, faded, old-fashioned, and threadbear. The law of chastity will always be basic in God's world and in the Lord's church. The sexual drives which bind men and women together as one are good and necessary. But here, more than almost any other place, we must exercise self-control, these drives, which are the fountain head of human life are to be allowed expressing only in the sanctity of the marriage. During my years on the river and as a bishop, a lot of young people like yourselves have shared their thoughts about morality with me. Sex is sacred. It's a gift and it's one of the most um sacred powers. It's such a special thing and that you grow maybe closer to each other, you and your partner and closer to our heavenly father in doing this, but it should be when you're married. And it's something that I think our heavenly father has given us to bring a man and a wife closer together and to make a oneness that needs to be there and a partnership a partnership that um you use with your heavenly father to bring spirits down in the to earth. Immorality does not begin in adultery or perversion. It begins with little indiscretions. Thoughts about sex, talking about sex, and even a kiss or two could lead you into trouble. And so once you've held a boy's hands, it's hard to not hold his hand. And once you've kissed him, it's hard to stop kissing and go back to holding hands. And once you've kissed a lot, it's hard to just say kiss with one good night kiss. When we talk of sex, our first thought is adultery and fornication. But our second one and close on its heels is the sex stimulation to self and others. Sometimes called petting. It's a damning and a damnable transgression. And then of course it is also the gateway to the final acts of fornication and adultery. The young man is untrue to his manhood who promises popularity, good times, security, fun, and even love when all he can give is passion and its diabolical fruits, guilt complexes, disgust, hatred, abhorance, eventual loathing and possible pregnancy without legitimacy and honor. And you girls are untrue to yourselves if you encourage or allow this to happen. You know, sometimes the way you dress or the way you act makes these guys think that you're interested in something different than you really are. That's like playing in the rapids. When you're in the white water, things can happen fast. Masturbation or rather common indiscretion is not approved of the Lord, nor of his church. Anyone burdened by this weakness should certainly abandon the habit. Sometimes masturbation is the introduction to the more serious sins of exhibitionism and the gross sin of homosexuality. I hope fervently that I am making clear the position of the Lord and his church on these unmentionable practices. Also, President Kimell has warned us over and over again to leave pornography alone. Well, I know I had a bit of a problem with pornography. I felt like I had to see more and more. It was almost like I was addicted to it. And then this one day, somebody came in with a new magazine or something and everybody walked over to see them. And uh I got up and at that same moment a TV commercial came on and this guy just said that some laundry detergent was stronger than dirt. And that just hit me with such a force. It was as if the Lord had spoken to me that something was stronger than dirt. And I felt I have got to be stronger than dirt. And that was a turning point for me. Sex is sacred and should not be misused. The experience that may bring the greatest joy and fulfillment in life can also bring the greatest sorrow and remorse if wrongly used. We may do as we please, but we can't avoid responsibility. We may break the laws, but we can't avoid the penalties. You don't get away with anything. God is just. Things that I did, I didn't forgive myself very easy from. And a lot of times I thought to myself, "No, heavenly father doesn't forgive me. I'm not good enough to go to the temple. I'm not good enough to have a good clean life, a good clean family." And I projected it to be that this was the way Heavenly Father felt about me. You need to know that you're loved. But if you have gone wrong, the Lord and the church can forgive. The way of the transgressor is hard and tough and long and thorny. But the Lord has promised that for all those sins and errors outside of the named unpardonable sins, there is forgiveness. But many people misunderstand the principle of repentance and have the misconception that a few prayers can bounce them back in moments or hours the long distance that they skidded over months and possibly years. A lot of people try and do it and don't succeed because others won't let them. They don't want their friends to succeed if they can't. They say, "Well, I can't be good, so why should she? And I'm going to make sure she's not." I felt just totally helpless until I went and talked to my bishop. And then he made me realize that it wasn't a helpless case. You can do things about it. You can get your self-confidence back and your self-respect. It's your responsibility to navigate your own lives. Let's talk about specifics. What can you do to stay morally clean? I always make my decisions before. So like if anybody ever asked me to go on a date or something before I'm 16, then I've already made that decision that I'm not going to. So it won't be hard for me to say no. The Lord has set these standards and I as a priesthood bear have the responsibility to to keep myself morally clean and to help my friends keep the same standards. My dad when I turned 16, he sat me down. He said, "Okay, what are your goals?" And I said, "Oh, huh." Or he had made some up. And he said, "That's not good enough." And so we sat and we talked about it. And I decided that I would I wouldn't single date for at least a year. And I didn't. And we have long interviews, you know, usually they're like 15 minutes. And he goes deeper into his interviews, especially with me cuz I'm his son, you know, I guess. And you know, by the types of things he says, I can tell that he cares. Okay. Well, to start out my date, before the guy even comes and picks me up, I always have a prayer just just so that I'll be on my toes, you know, I'll have a good evening. I'll have fun so that I I'll be more comfortable if I know that Heavenly Father's on my side and he's watching me. President Kimell says that dating, especially steady dating in your early teens, can be very hazardous. It distorts your whole picture of life. It deprivives you of many worthwhile and rich experiences. That's something to think about. You all have or someday will have deep feelings and strong sexual drives. The Lord intends it that way. But these feelings are difficult to control and we must be sure they are not misused. These feelings, the friends you have, and the places you go together make all the difference. They influence what you think and what you do. You have to decide how far you're going to let it go. Um, are you going to let him put his arm around you? Are you going to let him kiss you? What are you going to do? And you have to decide before you ever go with him. Cuz when you're there, it's too late. They make you feel like, well, to strengthen our relationship, we need this and this. And you know when you're dating non-members or whatever and even a lot of the members of the church are like this they they feel like they want to they want to make the relationship grow and be more more close and you can't you have to in my mind you have to wait till you're married to have a strong bond like that like in high school. You don't need that. You really what you need is a friend. So as long as I'm clean I will be able to face my heavenly father with no regrets. And another thing is the self-ride in knowing hey I can do it. Can you control those feelings if you go to the wrong kind of movies? It's impossible. And what about pornography? I've come to realize that pornography can be worse than alcohol. Alcohol leaves our system eventually, but the images of pornography can stay in our minds indefinitely. And I guess the smart ones are the ones that never take that first look. As a river guide, I'd suggest that you steer away from situations or places that can cause trouble. But if that's impossible and you find your feelings getting out of control, then get out of there fast and take your friends with you. I guess it's up to me, the person I want to be. I I have to decide. I have to be responsible for my own actions. No matter who I'm with or where I am, it's really up to me. Let's consider your choice of friends. That can make a big difference. The people who you think are your best best friends can be your worst enemies because they want you to be just like them. If they're not good for you, you can't be with them because they're going to hurt you. We talk a lot about the negative peer pressure and and you know that can be remedied a little bit by going with the right kind of friends and stuff. The positive peer pressure is really important and it can work not just so much to keep you out of trouble but to make you a better person. after my parents have spent so much time in raising me and then you know if I go turn 15 and am into sex already then everything that they've looked forward to and all the hard teaching that they've worked on is down the tube. Surround yourself with friends who share the same standards and ideals. Grow strong. Stand strong together. Help each other keep these feelings under control. Stay away from those danger spots on the river. One more thought, perhaps the most important of all. Remember, the guide who knows you best is your father in heaven. He has set the standards. Stay close to him through prayer. I think um I gained a close relationship with my heavenly father. How were you able to accomplish that? Through prayer. Um, he's really my best friend. I think he trusts us a lot and sometimes we let him down and I don't think it's very fair to him and I know he loves me and I don't want to hurt him. Brothers and sisters, we love you. We're proud of you. Most of you have lived beyond reproach. We're grateful for that. There are any who have had problems. They are solvable. We ask the Lord's blessings upon you all the days of your life. So he sent me on my journey down the river. And he said he would always follow me. Oh, he taught me the joy of reaching the shore. He taught me the song of destiny. I will sing a song, a song of love. Sing praise to him who rules above. For as fierce as may be, he will guide my destiny. I will sing the [Music] song to him. 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