Mom's On Strike

[Music] so [Music] so [Music] jenny you have to do that now marsha please auditions for the spring recital are today i have to be perfect hey what's going on in here mom audition today you washed out my green leotard right right it's in the dryer with the rest of the wash which you were supposed to bring up last night oops i forgot could you get my leotard for me now mom please jenny you you promised me we talked about this remember you were not i can't believe you're doing this to me i'm not even halfway warmed up yet you want me to go all the way down to the basement mom sarah and i get picked for the recital today she'll be coming over after school so we can set up a rehearsal schedule so you'll have to drive her home later because her mother's doing something important mom mom mom honey what just remember i have softball practice today it's your turn to drive us home 4 30. oh you have a game today gosh marsha's got a violin and i'm supposed to drive okay sarah i'll stay for dinner and you can drive her home later remember she's a vegetarian could you make her some tofu mom my curler won't come out it's all tangled up in my hair oh honey okay no don't panic uh go upstairs and get me a rat tail comb and i'll get it out for you okay okay you're not going to cut it right no i'm not going to swear good morning daddy good morning no more white shirts in my closet need one for tomorrow i'm having lunch with the vice president of my division oh all right well uh let's see i can do a laundry tonight oh gosh i'm gonna go to the market tonight well i'll do a laundry after i go to the market you know this is a perfect time for you to learn how to mom did sarah and i make this recital could you make us some costumes ellie this is a man who was devoted to the white shirt he has a theory that many wear colored shirts are unpredictable unstable you want to look like a pair of wind chimes how am i supposed to make you look like a pair of wind chimes well you just sell some plastic strip songs too jack you didn't finish your cereal honey don't leave the house without your coat okay i can't i left it in the movies on saturday i don't mind being cool jack why didn't you tell me you don't think they're gonna pick me do you that's why you're not even paying any attention to my problems you don't think i'm good enough you know that's not true i think you're a wonderful dancer now see this is exactly the kind of misunderstanding that is inevitable because i am so overwhelmed i take a few shirts to work with you do them on your lunch hour michael i don't even get a lunch hour i'm a part-time worker i get like a lunch break 20 minutes this is an emergency honey i'm sorry i just i really i cannot help you look i'm working at the uh rental booth today at the airport and there's nowhere near a laundromat so uh i don't know michael maybe you could do some shirts on on your lunch hour i'll buy a new shirt see this is so typical of our family the main problem that we have as a family i think everybody if they really thought about it would all agree that the most important thing we can share is support and understanding oh that's the truth if every dancer got the same support from their family as i get from mine there wouldn't even be any modern dance in america don't even wish me luck or anything hey wait a second you all can we just there's a few thoughts that i want to share with you let me just find my mom i was writing this and i really think that the time has come so scared before we went on but once we got started i knew i just knew we were great until i was petrified i mean following sonia style off on her 16 cartwheels i mean that was some finale and we had to follow that [Music] jenny what's going on i don't know oh boy jenny oh boy your mother's on strike [Music] aren't you proud maybe we should compose a dance in her honor the indoor pioneer sarah my mother is not a radical feminist she's just a happy housewife she must be having a nervous breakdown think i should call our family doctor what do you think i should do maybe you should ask her what's up she might be dangerous what if she's out of her mind yeah mom's a pussycat hi mom hi jenny sarah and i made the recital great congratulations what's going on mom a strike why why hmm okay why i think you're old enough to hear this now i don't want this to scare you or anything but in my opinion the skinner family stinks the whole setup it stinks do you know what i'm talking about no mom maybe you could explain it to me inside the house you know out of the sunlight um well six of us live in that house and only one of us is responsible for keeping it running and you're a bright girl jenny don't you agree that stinks i don't know if it does or not mom but shouldn't we talk about this as a family inside the house i've been trying to talk about this for a long time but nobody's interested in this topic of conversation except for me everybody else thinks the uh skinner family set up is just peachy i'm sorry but i'm tired of being everybody's round-the-clock servant mom nobody thinks of you as a servant we all appreciate you especially me you don't really include me in all this do you mom think i see you as a servant no i think you see me more than a servant i think you see me as a chauffeur you see me as a personal nurse dietitian costume design mom that's ridiculous everybody in this family loves you and honor you and treat you with enormous respect mom you got something for me to eat [Music] no no jack i'm sorry i i i don't have anything for you but i'm starving to death [Music] hi mr roberts we have you mail today okay [Music] hi how are you hello i'm mrs blisdey how are you doing hello [Music] it's honey be okay now daddy's here right [Music] hi honey [Music] no a strike that i think this whole family needs to be restructured i cannot do it inside i've tried please have you gone crazy i have not gone crazy michael and i'll tell you something i really resent your suggesting that craziness is what this is all about so what are you trying to say eleanor they were all a pack of slobs well i say that you're not perfect either far from it far from it listen don't call me names okay no you will not because we've got some real issues to discuss here by taking down that time about the other thing everybody's watching you oh i can't figure out why she's doing this she gets plenty of help around the house i take the garbage out every night of my life yeah and i always mow the lawn in the summer and in the winter if it snows it's me you asked to shuffle the walk and i've been making my bed every day since i was seven years old and mom's not even allowed to touch anything on marsha's side of the room i just like things the way i do them mom never lines up my stuffed animals in the right order then it's me i don't do anything the strike's my fault that's not true you leave your dirty laundry outside your room on wednesday mornings and don't you sometimes change your pillowcase yeah i do i work like a dog see we all pitch him even though the house is not our job my job is to go to work earn a living for this family your job is to get an education your mother's job is taking care of us yeah but mom also works at a rent-a-car company well that's just a little part-time job honey it's just for little luxuries and extras her main job is us we agreed it would be that way before you all were born i bet mom was just feeling a little blue or something today i mean it's really not like her at all you know what i bet what do you bet i bet by the time we all wake up tomorrow morning mom's gonna be back in here making breakfast [Music] it's too depressing to go into every bit of the next couple of days let's just say that the situation started bordering on tragedy and we had to start facing reality mom was not coming inside she was not going to take pity on us and come to our rescue nobody made me any coffee there isn't any left are we in this today no i'd say jack you can't wear that to school that was supposed to be for uncle danny's wedding yesterday michelle sobel's son told me i smelled it's empty we have no more cupcakes that's the end [Music] i think this is really it i think he's ready to talk could be are you gonna take notes my teacher said i could write an extra credit report on the strike this mess might as well do me some good as long as i'm stuck in the middle of it would you like to explain what this strike is all about michael you know what it's all about no i don't eleanor you have everything a woman could reasonably want a fine home wonderful children a loving husband what's the matter with you it's worse than i thought what's worse than you thought and what did you think well i knew for a long time that i wasn't being hurt around here but i thought somebody was hearing something sometime why did you quit your job well maybe i get your attention you quit your job to get my attention well it's the first time i've managed to do it well maybe you just better put anything else you have to say to me in writing that way nobody will be able to say i didn't hear you [Music] i can't believe you just did that what the coffee couldn't you see he was dying for a cup jenny i am on strike here i'm not supposed to be making him breakfast mom why are you doing this this is us the worst part of this problem is that no one will admit that we have one as far as i can see the only problem this family has is that our mother has gone crazy and left us flat [Music] okay we've got to take charge of our lives let's face it she's not coming back in the foreseeable future so we're gonna have to show her that we can do just fine on our own right kids right ahead oh boy i'm gonna have to do six different loads forget it wash all the underwear everybody gets two outfits each [Music] i'll set the dial right in the middle on warm and that's that [Music] gross are you all right yeah what a mess where is daddy he had to drive back to the market expect to buy bread milk and peanut butter great jenny i'm really worried none of us knows what we're doing around here what's gonna happen to us [Music] well it was bound to happen every housewife with the gripe for 50 miles around was finding her way to our front lawn strangers who didn't even care what was happening to the rest of us actually what was happening to the rest of us was we were getting by honey i need this color really flat this time the cops too now cream together sugar and shortening what does cream mean what's shortening dad we've got to face up to it she's got us she's not gonna back down and she's not gonna feel sorry for us no jenny we can outlast her i know we can't dad we can't marsha and i are miserable we're like two old drudges we're doing all the work around here oh come on honey don't exaggerate we've all been pitching in a little everybody does a little jack dusts ben rinses off the dishes marsh and i do all the real cleaning the cooking the laundry the shopping lists and don't tell her this but marsha's beginning to develop dish pan hats i know it seems like you're doing more than the rest of us but it seems that way to everybody dad we do do more you know it's true jenny you're very tired now and you're a little hysterical now i want you to go to bed and get a good night's sleep things won't seem so serious in the morning what's the matter mom's not doing your job so dad's laying everything on you and me yeah i noticed we're his daughters not his servants now you sound just like mom no i don't this is completely different how do you think we should stop doing mom's job there are five of us living in this house i don't see why two of us should have to do all the work well if you stop i'll stop okay okay okay [Music] see ya i bet wait up have a nice day come on let's go to school shouldn't we at least put the milk away nope we didn't drink any [Music] well um a lot of people think that this strike is a joke what's going on this is incredible for two weeks before mom went on strike she kept this diary of every mini work any of us did then she put all her findings in that big chart then she contacted all the tv stations and arranged a press conference go look at the chart channel it's incredible now what i've done is i've counted my husband's work and the children's school and their homework and then of course my son ben's sports games and his practice and jenny's ballet lessons uh dancing lessons and rehearsal and my other daughter marsha's violin lessons um and then my eight-year-old's play because i i still think he's young enough for play to be his play to be considered work and then you come over here and you just can see that i practically have no time left at all for myself even on the weekends yes i'm shocked she really has no time at all do you think it's true well mom wouldn't lie ah jenny how does your mother usually clean up these floods gee i don't know i don't think mom usually has them i'm starving marshall get jack some cereal there's no milk jenna you left it out yesterday and it spoiled i left it out why didn't you get some more i must have forgot what is the matter with you two you're forgetting about everything lately the milk yesterday's breakfast dishes you never unpacked the groceries you made a dinner that we all hated last night and nobody even made me any coffee this morning listen to yourself dad you make me and marsha responsible for everything around here you see how unfair you're being but it's easier for you why because you're girl uh-huh uh-huh you see you said it that's totally unfair right you are treating us the same horrible way you treated mom you see do you see how wrong you've been in the first place jenny different people have aptitudes for different things you and marsha are definitely better at homemaking than the rest of us and so in the second place i expect you to be a little generous and share your abilities with your family in a time of crisis in the third place i don't know where you get off even talking to me from up there on that high horse of yours and in the fourth place if things are so horrible for you around here maybe you'd prefer to go live in a tent with your mother the whole situation was starting to get pretty scary it looked like the strike was never going to end the only comfort i had was the knowledge that things couldn't possibly get any worse as it turned out i happened to be wrong about that what a wonderful atmosphere for the raising of children no i'll tell you what's wonderful for the children their father's endeavors to the fact that their mother is so unhappy just go out and live in the front yard michael how long are you gonna keep me out here you won't be happy until i crawl out here and beg you to come home in front of the whole country you won't be happy till i apologize in the six o'clock news and i won't be happy till somebody tells me i'm adopted i don't want to be related to either one of you [Applause] honey i am sorry i really am i can't stand anymore every day something worse happens i want it all over i want you to stop all this nonsense and come back into that house you want me to give up do you want me to go back to the way things were no he can when is it all gonna end daddy's never gonna come out here and talk to you not as long as you have to climb over everybody in town to get to you maybe if we had some privacy we could solve this thing but no our family's ready laundry has to be out in the front yard for a whole world to see now where are you going i'm going to yell at daddy [Music] [Music] can i help you michael skinner yes pleasure to meet you sir i'm commander arnold ragnaros i'm man against anti-american change and jehovah's with 22 states oh i've come to offer you congratulations from ma ack for the courageous stand you've taken and to inform you that no longer will you be alone back is sending you an entire squadron of our finest boys to back you up we'll camp him right out on your front lawn right next to those crazy livers can we plan this somewhere more private commander ragnarson please understand me i i appreciate your offer then what's the problem well i'd just like to handle this my own way uh i don't want troops on my front yard i'm not gonna touch anyone i'm just gonna fix a little muscle and in no time those lazy crumpled makers will be begging you for that brooms back i don't know if you happen to catch mrs skinner's work chart in the network news but if you did you realize that under normal circumstances she rises at 6 30 in the morning and doesn't stop doing for her family until she collapses at 9 or 10 at 11 at night that is if you don't mind calling a situation like that normal i saw the chart wouldn't you say that she exaggerated a bit my wife is not a liar commander she's an honest honorable fine decent woman and if you need any proof of that you can just go question the four magnificent children she's raised well all i can say is thank goodness for my natural good sense and perfect timing while dad was defending mom's reputation to that big military nut mom was really letting what i told her in the tent sink in she was asking all the striking housewives to pack up their tents and spread the strike to each and every one of their own lawns wasn't that just brilliant i take total credit for putting that bee in her bonnet don't refer to my wife is lazy good for nothing blah blah blah under normal circumstances she rises at 6 30 a.m and works for the family till she falls asleep at night if you want to call that normal then you said close your own words dad now you can't say anything even close to that about anybody else in this whole family can you can you no i can't then go out and talk to her all right dad yeah yeah you can do it okay i'll give it a try i should put on something better my green sweater i just washed it last night no daddy you look beautiful oh i should take my coffee you think it'd be all right if i offered some to your mother [Music] element yes [Music] it took more than a week of negotiations but we finally came up with a contract that everybody was willing to sign one way or another mom got most of her demands because it turned out that it wouldn't just be mom who'd be better off that way she kept reminding the guys that underneath everything was the need to respect each other that sharing didn't mean just the work but the good things too so i guess for the purpose of the kid's side if mom strike the story is over but only stories end families go on and on [Music] you