Message to No One (1959)

when I was just a little girl I asked my mother what will I be will I be pretty will I be rich here's what she said to me what will be will [Music] be whatever will be will be I guess that's the answer all right but how do you make things come out right what do you do believe me it's something to think about what was it that Hamlet said oh and thus the native view of resolution is sickly ore with a pale cast of thought and Enterprises of great pith and moment with this regard their currents turn aai and lose the name of action action I guess he's right again oh I know dear you're always doing that I don't know whether to listen or not well to listen or not to listen that's the question now that isn't so silly as it sounds I wonder what would happen if everyone in the world began to listen really to pay attention to everything I'll bet they'd get a lot more out of life to be or not to be that is the question whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows the slings and arrows of uh of uh of Outrageous Fortune oh yeah of Outrageous Fortune Ambassador note of protest borders closed in retaliation new tax proposed Senator charges opposition thousand natural shocks that is air to stiny stiny you come back here to be or not to be that is the question stinky whether is nobler in the mind suffer slings in the arrows of Outrageous Fortune stinky why don't you pay attention to me you know you're not allowed in here now Patricia I've told you 100 times to turn your radio down when you're not in your room studying now I daddy that is the question go on S on let's go upstairs I told never to try and whether it his Noble in mind to suffer the slings and the arrows of Outrageous Fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles to be or not to be that is the question oh baby baby what am I going to do with you you you can't take care of yourself without my help if you were a real skunk it'd be different but we have to have you civilized so you can come and live with us so stinky baby you're just going to have to learn to stay inside well you have friends don't ever go outside without your leash and me to keep you safe you wouldn't want to be dead would you to die to sleep no more and by a sleep to say we in the heartache just say we in the heartache and the Thousand natural shocks that flesh is air to is a consummation devoutly to be wished Randy wouldn't it be easier to memorize hamlets toque in your own room aren't you supposed to have that by Friday I'll have it Arthur oh dear there go Arthur reliving his day at the office again as you all know from your Advanced notices what we're considering here is the possible value of a course of study and practice in the art of listening our good listener of course will use his eyes as well as his ears wherever he can he will use all of his senses I think it might be said that the goal of a good listener is total awareness of his surroundings I can hear all of you asking if the goal is worth pursuing and the first thing I think of is everyone's need for the preservation of his own interests now in a sense the ability to listen well is the ability to assess one's own situation Arthur are you listening to me Arthur Arthur feet off the coffee table please Randy you better wash for dinner it'll be ready in a few minutes Randy you better wash for dinner do it now teaching cannot be accomplished learning cannot be done efficient organization and operation are impossible without alert and positive listening on the parts of the persons involved and that brings up the tremendous question of how to influence anyone to listen as he should if he is not listening as he should while you're making the attempt you can't coerce him into listening because the sensation of pressure will distract his attention away from the message you want him to hear and will focus it on the problem of escaping your domination Dad Dad can I have the car Saturday night haven't you washed your hands yet go do what you told well all right I will great one way to strengthen an organization is to gain listeners who do not feel pressed to listen but who are are going along under their own power able to lead themselves and are wanting to listen in order to prosper in and with the organization now such a man must be able and willing to decide on his own whether to be or not to be a participant and how and where and when and in what and on which side unaware of pressure from anyone for a man to succeed under such circumstances he must retain at all times the characteristic of a good listener a total awareness of his true surroundings [Music] Arthur Arthur will you please wash for dinner Randy haven't you washed yet I'm putting dinner on Patricia Patricia put down that animal now you'll have to wash your hands again oh don't use the upstairs bathroom daddy I've got to wash my hands use the other one [Music] [Music] Arthur I've told you a hundred times don't wash your hands at the sink please use one of the bathrooms [Music] [Music] [Music] now perhaps you have begun to see the importance of listening as a goal bearing as directly as it does on the subject of the individual's welfare within an organization anyone who can be called truly Val and contributive can be said to be listening to himself in the sense that he's interpreting what he is hearing but at the same time he must go on hearing what the other fellow is saying he must listen two ways at once to his own thoughts and to his surroundings now this may sound difficult maybe it is but it isn't impossible now here's a little fellow who hasn't much sense but has to listen to survive at all he listens with his whole being and he has survived and multiplied of course there are apparent exceptions to all rules one animal who doesn't have to pay attention to his surroundings as far as I know because he has a very effective way of requiring his surroundings to pay attention to him is the skunk so we do seem to have a choice of behavior after all Arthur we've been sitting here for some time now would you care to join us oh excuse me I was thinking of something that happened at the plant today am in what were you saying about the plant there well we had a meeting and I suggested we Institute a a program of study and practice in the art of listening listening yes listening or paying attention listening is a skill it's a tool for making progress it can be taught and learned now there are certain techniques of concentration to be learned such as thinking back to relate what has already been said to what is being said and also listening between the lines to hear what no one has said so to speak And Then There are a great many bad habits to be overcome I ran across an interesting book the other day that lists some of these common bad habits perhaps the worst of them is trying to avoid listening to anything that seems difficult to grasp just to save trouble because it actually creates trouble for you in two ways in the first place if you select ever easier things to listen to and discard the difficult you encourage a downward spiral in your own listening ability and you make yourself progressively more helpless and less likely to succeed in the second place you cheat yourself out of a lot of information you might wish you had someday now another bad habit of course is telling yourself that you already know what is coming or that what is coming isn't worthless I wonder if Arthur is listening to himself and finding all that wisdus it's hard to tell unconsciously revealed listening is is something you can't see anyone doing even after he's done who finds it rather I guess everyone is different pointing it out everyone not only listens differently but also listens to different things is the so not everyone gets the same message anyway who's supposed to listen and as soon as he get who's supposed to be listened to have you been listening to me oh I'm sorry dear what was it you were saying for the last 5 minutes well oddly enough I was talking about a book on listening I remember particularly one paragraph in the chapter on critical listening that is on listening to persuasion or pressure it says that a lot of what we're being asked to listen to these days is pure unadulterated haage and that if real listening were to become more General life would become more rewarding for those of us who have socially and humanly good advice for Humanity to follow too many people listen only to what they they want to hear somebody promises them the world with a little red fence around it free and that's what they want so that's what they listen to and what happens they get the fence all right build around them and by the time they're caught in the squeeze with their freedom gone and begin to realize who they should have listened to that is too late we never listen to our leaders until they're dead he's aiming all that right at Randy he's always accusing Randy of wanting the world with a little red fence around it I wonder what Randy does want you certainly can't tell from the outside is there something to matter with your salad Randy huh oh no no it's fine Mom thanks I was just thinking about something huh oh there's an example of a listening for you he's been thinking of something surely Arthur doesn't mean that there's no use in anyone else trying to think when he's talking I I think Arthur sometimes doesn't hear what he's saying some people do a lot of talking to themselves without noticing may I be excuse please uh me too Mom I'll have my ice cream later oh it's your night with a dishes Randy yeah I know but I got a lot of studying to do that Shakespeare stuff you know I don't see why empty the waistband now something's going to have to be done with that but young man you come back here and listen to me okay okay I heard you empty the waste baskets that's right they're spilling over every one of them well they shouldn't be no one should put anything into a waste basket that's already full what do you expect us to do stand around holding the stuff well if you put things in right they wouldn't fill up so fast squash the Box we don't have waste paper around here just to give you something to do with your convenience that's your job around here and you keep up with it it's a fine job but there's nothing wrong with it a real man lends dignity to any work he's given well if you'd buy big enough waste that's about enough out of you young man just take charge of this job and do what I say a man of your age foret I know the whole lecture then why haven't you listened to it no you may not have the car Saturday night what you heard me you asked before dinner if you could have the car Saturday night no oh fine that makes everything just great leave the room now what was that supposed to be about Randy will get the car Saturday night and he'll empty the wastepaper baskets too sounds more like who's supposed to listen and who's supposed to be listened [Music] to [Music] Colonel loses command after private complaints of mistreatment Congressman says threat from within is greater than threat from without you can say that [Music] again now stinky you listen and do as your no I have to be firm with you for your own good you don't understand these things and besides I have to finish my geography lesson you stay there now be [Music] good I wish I knew what to do about Randy how do you mature a person of any age you can't get anywhere by advising him no matter how forcefully if he won't listen and if he will listen he doesn't need any maturing where are you in the Soliloquy now Randy oh uh I there's the rub for in that sleep of death What Dreams May Come when we have shuffled off this Mortal coil must give us pause what does he mean there that we don't like to think about death because we don't know what happens next I think that about States it there are a lot of things we know perfectly well are true but we don't like to face them it's kind of like your father said at dinner people won't listen to what they don't like to hear well you can take out the garbage now and we'll be all through thanks very [Music] much oh and watch that latch on the screen door I wish someone would fix it what's it like to be a skunk stinky I wish you could tell me to be real close to the ground where you can see everything underneath logs and things or would it be better to be up high where you can see farther like a horse I think it would be fun to be up high of course I wouldn't want to be a horse but I'd like to have one but Daddy won't listen to me we could board him maybe daddy says he isn't going to spend his money that way that's the way he is he won't spend money foolishly only if he can see it getting us somewhere oh stinky I wish you could talk you don't say a word you might as well not be there there's the respect that makes Calamity of so long life for who would bear the whips and scorns of time the oppressor wrong the proud man's contumely the pangs of despised love the laws delay the insolence of office the spurns that patient Merit of the Unworthy takes when he himself might his quiet as make with a bear Bodin one animal who doesn't have to pay attention to his surroundings as far as I know because he has a very effective way of requiring his surroundings to pay attention to him is the skunk so we do seem to have a choice of behavior after all I found something I might show at the first of these meetings it's a a half hour Motion Picture entitled a message to no one I suppose the title refers to the idea that when no one is listening the message is being wasted the picture is one of a progressive series on ideas like communicating and productivity and now listening they're all sponsored by a paper company and presented as a public service it's a rather indirect approach there's never a thing in them about paper this one happens to be about a family the story depicts an evening in their life at home apparently nothing very exciting happens in the picture but I understand that it's supposed to be an exercise in listening according to the literature the picture has been produced by experienced professionals including the writing and Direction now in addition to the motion picture supplementary material is available for discussion groups and listening study courses such as I'm proposing here today today it might be quite worthwhile I don't know but it is available and we might as well have a look at it now gentlemen I realize I've done all the Talking are there any questions yes I have one it seems to me that we've been bearing up fairly well for years without any of this new fangle F or all about listening now I've just got one question what kind of assurance can you give us that we'd be any better off in the future than we are right now to Grunt and sweat under a weary life but that the dread of something after death the Undiscovered Country the Undiscovered Country from whose boundary no travel returns puzzles the will puzzles the will to Grunt and sweat under a weary life but that the dread of something after death the Undiscovered Country from whose boundary no travel returns puzzles the will and makes us rather bear those ills we have then fly to others that we know not of well what's he waiting for Randy you're not suggesting that Hamlet or anyone commit suicide that's what he's talking about no but all he does is talk he doesn't do anything how's he going to get anywhere that way read on thus conscience does make cowards of us all hey that's just what I said you know I'm starting to dig this stuff and thus the native Hue of resolution is cied over by the pale cast of thought my very words Mom where's Stinky he's not upstairs he had to come through the living room didn't anyone see him Oh Daddy you did see him and you didn't even notice listening Daddy all you do is sit and talk about about daddy stiny the screen door who left it open don't stay shut why didn't you fix that laty honey daddy don't let them get him don't let them get him he'll get him he can't do anything here come here Dad I hate them we've got him we can't run oh Patricia honey honey listen to me you don't know well they might be able to he might even oh honey please don't [Music] cry [Music] mother why are we standing here just listening listening are we really listening or are we only [Music] hearing shall we go out [Music] [Music] m [Music] m