Marriage: What Kind For You? (1967)

[Music] You know, for a for a young lady who got that Christmas present, you don't look very happy. Sorry. What's the matter? Oh, everything's gone. Oh, marriage. It's so terrifying. What? They've decided for sure. Mom and dad, they're getting a divorce. Dad moved out today. How does anyone even dare get married anymore? Divorce. Divorce. It's just like an epidemic. Honey, divorce isn't contagious, and you just have to take the right precautions. But how can you be sure? Mom and dad never expected to end up like this. Marriages seem to drop dead left and right. And even those that don't, half are dead inside. I could name five couples on this block that are just suffering it out in silence. And you're afraid that's what's going to happen to us? I guess I am. Oh, Don, I don't want to be afraid, but so few people seem really happy in their marriages. Sometimes I think the kind of marriage that I want, the kind that I dream of, just doesn't exist. Yes, it does. If you can recognize it and work for it. So, don't get any ideas about exchanging your Christmas present. It's for keeps. We've got to get moving. We're due at your boss's place in a couple of hours, and it's a long drive. Besides, I've got to get ready. We can finish taking down the Christmas tree tomorrow. Well, this isn't exactly my idea of the perfect New Year's Eve company parties. But then I guess I can't dictate policy if I've only been there 6 months. Could be interesting though, seeing your colleagues marriages up close. Could be. I uh just hope Lloyd and Brenda don't show up. Some marriages could make you want to be an old maid for the rest of your life. Brenda? Brenda? What? What happened to this tie? I sent it to the cleaners. I told you cleaners always ruin ties. Look at that. Well, at least the spot's gone. So is the shape. Nuts. Lousy cleaners. There. You'll enjoy the evening a heck of a lot more than I will. Well, I'm glad to see that you're planning to grace the festivities with your usual charm. Happy New Year, dear. I can't think of anywhere I would less rather be than at your boss's party. Especially up the mountain with all that snow. Oh, cheer up. Think of all the handsome men that'll be there. That should make you happy. Well, at least they'll be pleasant. At least they'll be polite. I can't imagine Fred Dennison throwing his clothes all over the floor. Fred? Huh? Fred? Yeah. Do you remember the first New Year's Eve we spent together? No, I guess I'd forgotten. We went back to that hotel where we spent our honeymoon and at midnight you poured a big picture of water out the window and shouted, "Happy New Year! The drinks are on me." Yeah, we sure had fun in those days, didn't we? What's happened to us, Fred? Everything used to be so exciting. We were exciting. People grow up, Maryanne. Comes a time when you have to turn in romance for responsibilities, kids, work, you know, the whole bit. I guess so. But, you know, sometimes I think we're really missing something. Especially when I see a couple like Alan and Zivian, a couple of nuts middle-aged teenagers. Alan, what do you think? Pearl or a pin? [Music] I'll take the model. [Music] Oh, stop that. You'll mess me up for the party tonight. Oh, fuss, fuss, fuss, fuss, fuss. Hey, what do you bet the boss will make us watch those home movies of his trip to Europe? Company parties? Who needs them? You sure you don't mind going with me to this? Sure, I don't mind. As long as you're there, I'll have a good time. The boss is pretty insistent about these social things. A real public relations man. Now, let's see. We'll put Erikson and his fiance right here. Okay, that's a good idea, don't you think? Making this a New Year's Eve party and an engagement party all at once. Lovely. And it was smart of him to wait until he's established before getting married. Mhm. He's a good man, Erikson, and he'll work to his advantage being married. It isn't as easy for single men to get promotion as it is for a good, steady family man. Oh, here they are. Wait a minute. I didn't finish. So, I told them to forget it. Aida spent all day in the swimming pool and I played shuffle board. And at night, she danced and I camped. He soften things up the whole Kathleen was right. It is interesting to see these marriages close up. Now take the boss and his wife. Strictly business. Looks to me like they never really got married, just formed a merger. He's president and she's chairman of the board. He goes his way and she goes hers. Bruce suggested that I go to the bull fight. So he went to the bull fight and I went to the opera. You couldn't drag me to see one of those poor animals murdered. Oh, that was a great trip. And you'll get to see a bit of the country, Alan, with that new assignment the company's offering you. Sounds great, Bruce. But I've uh I don't think it's for me. I've decided not to take it. What? Why not? I'm not sure you'll understand this, but it's just not worth it to me being away from Vivian so much. But all that extra money and all those interesting places. I don't need the extra money, Bruce. And I find home plenty interesting. When it comes to making a decision between Vivian and the company, I'll tell wife. Nice going, Alan. Hope you really mean it. But if I does have to cut down on other interests sometimes for the sake of his marriage, is it worth it? Considerate husband. You know, that's just like Fred was when we were first married. He didn't want to leave me alone for a minute. Well, I was You know, he even used to insist that I come downtown for lunch. Oh, but the years sure do change things. Now, I hardly ever see him. Business and and all those clubs he goes to. It seems like there's never any time. How does a marriage get like that? There must have been something there to begin with. But now they seem pretty much like strangers. And I have a hunch that maybe Fred joined all those clubs he belongs to to fill some kind of a void in his life. Still, I guess they need each other, but they're part of each other's habits patterns. Long periods of time. Now, someone should ask Lloyd to take a traveling job. He'd jump at the chance. Just listen to that. She always tried to get rid of me. Don't be silly, love. Who'd shovel the snow if you weren't here? I'll bet those two need each other, too, to fight with. Oh, I doubt they ever get into out and-out brawls, but I bet there's always a running conflict going on. Well, we're all finished here. Let's go in the other room by the fire. That is an idea. What a wonderful, wonderful meeting. Some pad. This is for me. See, you ought to take that job. You can live with this stuff. I like them. when I tell you about the boss in his whole movies. Oh boy. There we are. Now then, for a little after-dinner entertainment, we brought along some of the movies of our trip. And now, if you'll just get your chairs around so you can see that screen. Now, this hasn't been edited and we have some bad exposures, but then Daryl Zenick didn't do very well the first time either. For instance, in Rome, what happened? Happy New Year. No, that's the only bad thing about this place. Every once in a while, the power goes out completely just like that. Do they come back on? You never can tell. You know, once we were up here for a whole weekend without one bit of electricity. Let's light some lamps. But good heavens, what do you do? Nothing we can do but wait. Let's all bring your chairs around the fire and be a bit more cozy. I guess I'll just have to pay my light bill. That's something we could do. I was going to save it until after Bruce's movies, but we might just as well do it right now. It's a little game for the benefit of Don and Kathleen. It's called Advice for the Newlyweds, which they will be right away. They're probably up to hearing advice now. Well, you told me to plan something and I thought this would be fun. Sure, we'd love it. Go ahead. We can take it. On each one of these little papers is written a different subject all about marriage. I thought each husband could choose one and then talk about the subject. Doesn't that sound fun? Oh, come on. Who be first? I vote for the boss. He's been married the longest. I second it. Here we go. True confession. Well, why not? Watch out. Appreciating your spouse. Uh-oh. What do you mean? Oh. Oh. Don't you think I appreciate you? Well, if you don't, you should. That dinner tonight was fabulous. You're telling me that was one of the first things that attracted me to Ada. I thought, now here is a woman who could be a real asset in business. You know, a man's wife can either make or break him. Maintaining a fine home and raising a fine family and all that entertaining. Well, I knew right off Ada would be able to carry her share of the load. And she has. I can tell you. You know the old statement. Behind every good man. Oh, thank you, Bruce. And that's not all. She's accomplished a lot on her own, too. She's not one of those trapped housewives. She's contributed a lot to the community, worked as hard as I have. That's true. She's done a great job for the state PTA. Appreciating your spouse. Now, that's the one thing I do do. And let me tell you about the time that I appreciated her the very most. Oh, Bruce. No, no, now let me be. Well, it was some time ago when the kids were young. Her father had had a heart attack and she went down to be with him. She had been gone for about a week. [Music] Hello there, Adah. Am I glad to see you. Miss me. Miss you. I didn't know a week could be so long. Everything's been going wrong. Take a look at this place. Oh dear. Well, how are the children? Well, the children are fine. Yesterday they talked me into taking them on a picnic. A picnic. Burned hamburgers, skinned knees, kids quarreling, two quarts of punch all over the back seat. Never again. Oh boy, am I glad you're back. [Music] Every man needs a good woman, and mine is appreciated. Sure, but didn't you miss her? Not only for the things she wasn't there to do, but her as a person. I don't know if I could go for this kind of a setup. Well, they're congenial enough, but it's all so much on the surface. Where's the deep personal relationship? Or isn't that necessary? Okay, who's next? Well, don't look at me. Okay, Fred, how about you? That one's Lloyd, and this one is for me. Facing disappointments in marriage. Well, that's just about it. Disappointments come, plenty of them, and you have to face them. I mean, it's just like everything else in life. Marriage loses some of the glamour it may have had in the beginning. You just have to expect it and not let it throw you. Well, that's not very encouraging. Oh, it isn't as bad as all that. Just because you know that summer isn't going to last all year, well, there's no sense in not enjoying it while it's there. Like us. Well, our first five years or so together were just great. just the way things are in the movies. Well, our biggest interest was in each other. But then other things come along, kids especially, and or work. You can't be the couple you once were. [Music] Hello. [Music] I guess we won't be able to make it, Laura. Yeah, I wish we could, too. But well, Fred's so busy lately. And well, to be honest, he doesn't much like going out anymore. We're sort of cast that stage, I guess. I wish it didn't have to be that way, too. But, you know, there's a a sort of a cycle to life. things you do in high school and things you do in college and when you're a young adult and then well almost middle-aged like us. I have the home and Fred has his job and well I guess you just have to adjust to those things gracefully. Yeah. Well, thanks for calling. I'll admit that you do yearn now and then to break the routine and get a little excitement into it all, but that's life, I guess, when you get married. Does it have to be, or is this just letting a good thing die of neglect? I'll have to get some more wood if those lights don't come up pretty soon. I hope you two don't think that it isn't worth it after all of this. Take it from me, it is. Oh, it's a tremendous investment, but uh the returns can be pretty tremendous, too. Oh, don't worry. We're sold on it. I hope. Here we go, Lloyd. It's your turn for marriage counseling. Thank you. Planning the divorce. Just kidding. Adjusting to the little things. Well, I guess that leaves out my wife. She's getting bigger and bigger all the time. He's so cute. Seriously though, there are a lot of differences between people that you just don't count on when you first get married. You have to learn to live with them. Like where you squeeze the toothpaste, too. Only that one's never bothered us. Ours are more like uh like learning to live with socks thrown all over the floor or blonde hair in the bathroom sink or not taking the garbage out. Oh, come on. That's not fair. The landlord takes care of that. Now, yes, but in that other place, it piled up for 3 weeks once. Well, some people have a mind for garbage and some people don't. There you have it. The great example. How does one learn to adjust to living with somebody that won't take responsibility, just tosses it off? Take it easy, sweetheart. Remember, I had to iron a shirt before we could come here tonight. So you didn't have to chase three kids around the block or mop the floor because one of them broke a bottle of jam or make a costume for the dance review. Sure. Sure. But those are some of the little things in marriage you're supposed to adjust to. Little things. Just for a vacation, I'd like to try some of the big things. Well, I think we better move on now. Alan. Alan, it's your turn. Okay, let's hear from the man that won't take a job that takes him away from his wife. Well, resolving a quarrel. Now, don't tell me you two ever quarrel. Well, we're not immune. It's a good thing we didn't get that one. Why, you never quarrel. Oh, no. We never resolve them. Okay, doctor. Shoot. Well, I just don't know how to talk about something so personal. Aha. You see, they quarrel, too. Oh, shut up. You might learn something. Well, it isn't that. It's just that I have a hard time putting into words our feelings. What about passing us up this time? Oh, come. Okay, let's see. What's the question? Oh yes, resolving a quarrel. Well, Vivian and I think the only way to resolve quarrels is to see that they don't get so big that they get out of hand. Wouldn't you say so? It's pretty hard sometimes, but Alan and I try to understand each other on everything, even the little things. When a disagreement comes up, we try to settle it quickly or carry it over into the next day. That way, we usually avoid conflict. And it's a thing Vivian's patient, too. Sometimes I'm inclined to be like a mule about some things. Like that time a couple of years ago. We just come into a little extra money. $700 to be exact. Oh, yes. $700. Oh, we can start that investment plan, Ellen. Well, honey, I was thinking that uh say what do you think about our buying a new stereo? A really good one. Well, we already have a high five. Yeah, but it hurts my ears. And you know how I like music. Good music. Nothing would make me happier. Well, we could use some new carpeting. And look at these drapes. We could use some new drapes. Yeah, we could. But you know what? I'd rather have than nudict. What? A happy husband. You're the funnest thing to watch when you're really enjoying something. So, I'll meet you downtown tomorrow and we'll go shopping for a new cereal. Okay, great. You know what you get for that? A long playing kiss with the highest fidelity. In fact, you get the whole album. [Music] So that's how we handled that little crisis. You see, man wins again. You had to give in. Oh, not exactly. We did invest some of the money, but I couldn't bear to spend that much money I'd get a direct pleasure from it. So, I bought a book, Music Appreciation, and then another on the lives of great composers. And before long, I was as excited about having that set as Alan was. And from then on, sharing music together has been a big thing for us. And I enjoy it even more now that Vivian shares it with me. I think you'll find, Don, that the more things you'll grow, not only physically, but emotionally and intellectually. And there have been other times Allan's given in on a point just because he knew it was important to me. Then frequently we compromise. We got a good piece of advice and it was this. Never discuss a disagreement when you're either tired or hungry. And you know, get work. And finally, just love each other and try very, very hard to make each other happy. It's easy when you've got somebody as great as my wife. Ah, that's my boy. How sweet it is. You mean that not wife where to get off? I respect Vivian too much for that. I try to think of her not only as my wife, but as a human being, an individual, a sensitive person. Well, it looks like we're about out of wood. I'd better get some. You stay. I'll get it. I'll help him. I'll defer to youth any day. You're a good boy. You know, I thought for a minute you were going to run out and throw yourself in a snowbank. I felt like it. Are you going to keep your Christmas present? You bet I will. I know marriage isn't going to be very easy, but it'll sure be interesting. and worth it. Like Alan said, the investment is high, but then so are the returns. [Music] 12:00. Sounds like they're going [Music] Happy New Year to you. [Music] Hallelujah.