LG 3 RM APT (1975)

Good evening. As a service to viewers, we are going to provide a glossery of a few essential phrases for urban survival. You arrive in the big city and the first thing you look for is an apartment. Under apartments for rent, you read allegiith cached luxures patfic park ideal corp exec one subwo immid sacra 595 per mo fishes x. Before we translate, you have to understand that you're not the only person looking for a place to live. The building has a self-service elevator, which is very slow when it's working, which it's not. [Music] [Music] Now there are sir Elag Leger MS where three elegant large rooms. The living room, the bedroom. Yeah. Yes. Uh but where is the third uh uh room? Room. The bathroom counts as a room. Of course. Of course. Every modern apartment has a cachet. A kitchenet designed for economy of space. Here it is. Excuse me. Convenience of use and minimum of visibility. Well, you're a woman. There is a three-burner stove. Oh, well, it works. It works. A commodious refrigerator. There it is. Oh, there it Oh, here. Here. And ample cupboard space. Oh. Oh. Oh, God. My handkerchief. Look around. This apartment is in a Lux Plug, a luxury building, one built in the age of luxury around 1953 when the thin wall was just coming into style. There you get off that wall before I call. I'll ring your neck, you little bounce. They're your parents. They're bubbly bubs, too. Well, it's only $595. I wonder if that includes utilities. [Music] Who's there? The great American dream machine. Hold on a second. Hi, I'm Marshall Esron. Come on into my home, won't you? I'll show you how I live. Hi, I'm Marshall Efron and welcome to my home. Hi, I'm Marshall Efron and this is my home. I'd like to show you around it. I'd like you to show you how I live, how others like me live. There are many others like me with apartments just like mine. Most of this was pre-fabricated in plastic and purchased as a kit and assembled right here. You could have an apartment like mine for $4.95. Heavy wine. Most of this that I've made is a labor of love. I try to to see things on the street. This art deco uh table protector. You put your hot pan on it. The Ubu chicken. There's a bunch of foreign made Cadillacs. There's our wonderful President Herbert Hoover. You can get them there. Up there, that's the front of a 1937 Ford V8 truck. These are two gents of the speakers here. Opening up our This is our sanctum sanctorum where we uh keep most of our old tapes. We preserve them. They're all codified and arranged in order right here. And above is a little surrealistic trip that you can see the mirror which is always kept clean of difference of the objects inside. There's a shoe in there and a shell. Shoe and a shell. Closing that. And then over here there's a radio. That's a Filco radio from Spain. Made the United States. Are these your parents over there? Those Ukrainians? No. My parents are white Russians. Those are dead Ukrainians. And sometimes I can walk by a pile of trash and get value vibes off it. I don't know what's in there, but there's something in there. And I'll walk over and I'll dig a little bit and there it is. Whatever it is, if it's my plastic TV bubble or the day Kennedy was shot, New York Times or um pictures that I find in the street or the junk stores that I frequent every now and then, pick up something for a couple dollars. Just resourcefulness, as my mother likes to call it. Just be resourceful. I furnished this entire apartment without the aid of a professional. This place was absolutely infested with roaches. I'm glad to say that the roach battle is over and I've triumphed. There is no roach left alive. Do you have food here? No, I don't have any food here. One of the reasons I don't have roaches. I don't have any food and I got spiders and the spiders eat the roaches. It was 45 and I came back from Europe this summer. It went up to $55 a month. Is that a lot? No. No. No. Not for all this. No, not for if I were staying in a Howard Johnson's, it would cost me quite a bit every night. This is my own home. I own everything here. It's a home, a place I like to live. This is the living room and the bedroom. My kitchen is in my bathtub. The bathtub sits in the kitchen. There's a refrigerator and a stove and a sink. Uh there's an indoor indoor plumbing. There's an indoor John with more books and closets. I'll take you now into the kitchen. It's just like any other kitchen. You suspect it's a little refrigerator. It's a gas stove. Use a match to get it going. And of course, what kitchen is complete? for us. It doesn't have its own bathtub. Is this the kind of place you've always wanted? No. I've always wanted a big place with lots of new furniture and uh appliances and uh something comfortable with a backyard and a front yard and a garage and maybe a grease pit in the garage. I sure like that. I don't have that. Why do you live here? Why? Why? Well, because uh it's cheap for one thing. How would you describe the community economically? uh lower lower class lower middle lower lab. I've always wanted a bicycle wheel suspended from a wall. It's why I made it. Found this bicycle wheel in the street and said to myself, what a good opportunity now to have a bicycle wheel suspended from a wall just like Man Ray and all the big boys have. I wonder when I'll move out. I wonder where I'll go. What What's next? And over here, that's a stuffed cat filled with kpock. And uh I like to put her around every now and then, different places around the apartment. Entirely portable, Japanese made, runs on transition. Also, this cat has seven physicians. It wakes up, it muses, it looks disturbed, and uh it's a very nice pet. This is it. It's home. You can't say too much about two rooms and a third room that has all the secrets of your life. Is there anything that you'd like to have that you don't have? Many things I'd like to have that I don't have. One is the Star of India diamond. Have a perfect place for it right here in this apartment. Just showing look beautiful. I I put I even buy a length of velvet to put it on. Or the Kuanor diamond. That'd be very nice, too. Or a big ruby or a pearl. I don't care. Anything. I don't have any gold in here. I like that's like big and solid made of gold.