It All Depends On You

I am hey Mom hary you get the bathroom I hry Judy go down in the freezer and get some coffee cake for breakfast honey I'll warm it up while everybody's getting dressed okay okay honey the help find a free moment hey Mom any chance get my laundry done this afternoon before I leave for school where'd you leave your laundry don't know how you thought it this morning oh good Heavens I thought that was his rock collection he must have 100 pound of stuff in that bag how' it get so stiff oh come on St oh come on Mom you know I got all my jeans and sweatshirts and underwear you know we got a little runchy and so forth in a normal course of things well in a normal course of things my dear young friend our dryer is going on the fris so you'll have to take care of things yourself only smoke mom I can't go back to school without any clothes well you just Mar yourself over the laundr and read the simple instructions and you'll have clean clothes to go back to school with my deprived young man look I don't want to defend a sweaty young procrastinator honey but isn't it kind of late in the game to start teaching them to be Aus honey it's really nothing all you have to do is read the directions and those runy clothes become civilized in no time then how about a few quarters for the machine you know about the machines there yeah how do you think I hack it down at school I thought maybe you stayed runchy yeah things sure have changed can you wash these shirts for me right away oh boy you washy shiry for me [Music] quickie unless you knock off that pigeon English you wash your own shirts wise guy and besides if you want your shirts washed quickly you don't bring through a Chinese Laundry you do them yourself the best way you can yeah but I don't have any more shirts what am I going to do I feel circumstances allow you the customary 5 days to have your shirts laundered properly we can proceed with this transaction honey when you finish breakfast would you go to the supermarket for me sure before it gets too crowded so you can get in and out in a hurry here's list I want some meat right and some tomatoes and cucumber and some stuffer salad and some frozen peas and carrot yeah what kind of meat do you want uh about 2 and 12 lbs of Brisket of beef okay and you better get some broccoli too okay [Music] here Mr Muller Mr Muller my wife sent me to get some firm ripe tomatoes for salad so so which are the firm and ripe ones you got eyes you got hands so look and feel and maybe you'll find some tomatoes that will please your wife tce but you don't suppose you could help me do you I mean I don't want to have to bring them back if they're not firm and ripe if you'll allow me to finish discussing the merits of this chicken with this charming lady I'll be right with you and I'll help you with your tomatoes and the rest of your list you're not in a tremendous hurry I presume oh no no no rush Mr Muller just take your turn take your turn look Falls look Falls 311 look Falls 311 information information dial area code dial 5551 212 3 one one 5 five five one 2 one two information for what city please I'm calling for the number of Camp Overlook and it's pretty close to overlook Falls Ohio one moment please the number for Camp Overlook is 555 2368 would you make a note of that number for future use please yes I will thanks very much dial area code style telephone number 3 one one five five five two three six eight Camp over this is Harvey herro calling I will be arriving on the bus to get to 50:2 today it Overlook Falls could you please have one of the counselors there to pick me up fine Harvey several of the boys are going to be on that same bus and we'll have a counselor there to pick you up does your family know you call and confirm oh yeah they're sitting here right with me very good Harvey we'll see you around 5:00 then take care of yourself thanks very much see you later uh would you consider it an intrusion on your very very busy schedule if I presume to ask what it was you just did I called Camp over to confirm my arrival dad why oh listen no offense old man no offense but that was kind of a longdistance call wasn't it now don't you think either mom or myself should have placed the call that is if a longdistance call was indeed absolutely necessary are you serious this is Saturday morning right well it uh started out that way yes well L of State Long Distance rates are very low during this time and if you dial Direct who the Falls you actually save money by getting the dial Direct Discount and by me calling them and having them meet me I saved the money I would have to spend on that beat up old cab from Overlook falls to the camp very simple really Harvey how did you learn to dial all those numbers and to get longdistance information that way Mom it's right here on the front of the bat it's like you told Michael just read the directions and there's nothing to it well I got to have long unpack my gear I'll see y'all later incidentally if you want to learn how to di dress it's right in the front of the book yes I know you told me nothing to it yes I know you I know it's in the front of the book I [Applause] [Music] know Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy yes while you're out with the shopping list could you get this kind of home permanent for us sure wait W young lady hold it sit down sit down home permanent for us sure I'm going to give Mom a permanent this afternoon but please sir please you are going to give my wife a permanent this afternoon here in this house yes Daddy I think Mom's very busy sending Harvey off to camp and Michael off to school and you've got a dinner dance tonight mom can't spend all afternoon in the beauty parlor so I'm going to give her a permit oh well in addition my dear you are going to escort your mother to the dance tonight because I am not taking my wife to a dinner dance with a type of head you're going to leave her with this afternoon Daddy I do it for Mom all the time there's nothing to it really oh yeah have to do is read the direction it's really very simple I know know I know know boy what a morning do you ever get the impression that the world is changing pretty quickly that if you sit still too long somebody will come through and paint you you know you live your life you work hard every day raise your family things kind of just go on but you know I've been thinking if time and money are important to you then you really have your choice of doing things a certain way that will save you time and stretch your dollars and if you have plenty of time and money you still for the most part have your choice I think it really all depends on you [Music] in my own kitchen this morning I suddenly realized how my own family has gotten with a real world without any of us really being aware of the fact that well that we're doing things in the least bit differently than we used to for instance my wife sends me to the supermarket to pick out things like meat and vegetables and salad greens do you realize what a mess I would have made out of things if we didn't have a supermarket huh just take a look at that list that used to be an all day shopping expedition for a home economics expert today it's nothing here's a perfect example why my wife says get a 2 and2 PB brisket fine I get her a 2 and2 PB brisket now it's going to be right here in this meat counter it's going to be packaged label and the price is going to be right on it chances are I'll come home exactly with what she want wanted that goes for the frozen vegetables the salad greens the fruit cake mixes now you might call this what semi-automation modern efficiency call it whatever you like but it does keep the prices down and it saves an awful lot of time on the other hand if you'd like some conversation some leisurely shopping I guess you could go to a smaller grocery store or tell the man exactly what you want so you do have a choice you know it all depends on you and what you want you know it's like that with a lot of things say do you know what just struck me a perfect example about the luxury of time or personal service and what a difference it makes in the cost of things would you roll up that window please this is something isn't it look at all this stuff in 2 minutes I'll be out of here and my car will be as clean as it's been in several weeks hey you remember how we used to get our cars washed we all had some favorite guy some gas station or some spot and and we'd mosey over there a Saturday afternoon make a social event out of getting our cars washed and we all thought that that guy was doing an extra special job for us we all really believed he was giving us some extra special service or attention and I'm sure it's all true but where are you going to find fellas like that today and if you did find them where are you going to find enough money to pay them well we've all got our little favorite indulgences you know I've got a guy down at the office well I don't think he makes more than I do I know he's busier than the Dickens and yet his favorite Indulgence in the world I guess is to go to the barber shop get himself an oldfashioned Barber shave you know what I mean the hot towels the comfortable Barber chair that leans back back a half dozed conversation about the baseball game then the After Shave talk the massage the whole team remember when someone told you you had a longdistance call you'd practically collaps because he were sure it was some disaster after all nobody would think of using long distance unless it was something of real importance today if you got to get something done the boss says pick up the phone call them but for the most part long distance is really very very darn inexpensive especially if you know how to dial Direct then the discount is even greater than it is at other times of course now when The Operators involved you know when when you're making a credit card call or if you're going to call collect or or if you're calling it a coin phone well then it costs more look like everything else if you want to hear the familiar voice of the operator and let her do the Dialing for you then you're going to pay more for the services I guess it really all depends on you well there's no question about it it really all depends on you look it's like so many things in our everyday life you shoot up to the airport and it's nice and pleasant to hand your keys to the valet talk about the weather a little bit and just amble into the airport nice and leisurely on the other hand if you're like most people you pull into the airport or any parking lot grab the ticket out of the machine Park and lock your own car and the chances are you you save yourself some money and some time too you know I was at a sales meeting a couple of weeks ago we stayed at a very nice motel but we were having kind of a long conference in our room and we needed a little ice water because we had been talking so much wow it cost that much at the beginning that's what it's going to cost all the way uh hey uh Jack is there any more ice water in that picture over there no wait a minute I'll give us some more now Jack will you please just sit down so let me have that phone will you sure hello room service yeah 118 could you send us a bucket of ice and how about some nice fresh glasses too will you okay thanks and got Handcock there thank you okay thanks Joe Joe would you mind if I gave you a little exercise and corporate fality well if you're talking about that 250,000 that we included nothing that important Joe if you would follow me about 14 [Music] step well okay uh but how am I supposed to know the machine is here Joe how did you know you needed $250,000 for sales expenses well you know it's a fun think about some people I guess they kind of like the human Element no matter what it is they're doing but I was thinking this morning when I was watching my kid dial long distance what if he had dialed wrong I'm sure he would have known enough to call the operator tell her that he made a mistake and he wouldn't be charged for the call but I think a lot of people envisioned some I don't know horrible catastrophe I guess if they dial wrong for instance just imagine if you're a kind of timid soul and you're dialing long distance direct to a town nearby okay hello Aunt Martha do I sound like you're Aunt Martha oh dear me is is this 514 2817 on that point friend you're a little closer to the mark That's the correct number but you're not Aunt Martha oh you're making progress please sir don't make jokes I dialed long distance may I ask from where you are calling as you pursue your search of a Martha I am calling from Grand Rapid Michigan isn't this Chicago I would say you have a little cause for concern sir this is not Chicago this is boy Bank California welcome to beautiful downtown Bo Bank welcome to beautiful downtown Bank okay so the poor Z made a mistake look the telephone company encourages people to die a longdistance direct that's why they give you discounts when you die a long distance yourself but they know that people are only human and that sometimes people make mistakes so what happens if you dial the wrong number when you're dialing long distance direct you simply dial the operator you tell her you made a mistake and the call is credited and that's the end of it so I think that alert people people that are kind of with the real world as it exists today well have learned that with a little common sense you can stretch your dollars a little father and save yourself a lot of time and a lot of aggravation as my wife and daughter keep saying to me all you have to do is read the directions so we know enough that we place our longdistance calls after 5:00 in the evening or all day Saturday and Sunday until 5 the telephone company makes the dial at yourself discounts even greater when you call at those times so why not do it just think of the money and the Ingenuity and the human energy that have gone into creating some of these things that are designed to simplify things and make life a little bit more efficient these days hey I could use a cup of coffee how about you I'll go in and get us something hey what happened sudden shower you be clear so you ever stop to think you dial a number in your own home and somehow automatically you can reach anywhere in North America and even many parts of the world what a world we live in dial at yourself longdistance discounts for anybody who has the common sense to look in front of the phone book find out how it's done it all depends on [Music] you