In the Life: Ep. 2201, "Beyond the Rhetoric"

[Announcer:] "In the Life" is funded in part by: the H. van Ameringen Foundation; Arcus Foundation; The Estate of Richard W. Weiland; Gill Foundation; PASSPORT Magazine; and by these funders; and by the annual support of In the Life members, like you. [Narrator:] Tonight on "In the Life": how anti-gay rhetoric has evolved from the past, [Trent Lott:] Homosexual activity is not... tolerated. [Narrator:] to the present. [Stacey Campfield:] Let's leave it up to the families to decide when something is age appropriate. [Winnie Stachelberg:] Language has evolved. Attacks against our community have evolved too. They don't ever say they're, "anti-gay," or "We don't like gay people." They come up with other words. [Narrator:] And how young conservatives are responding. [Zachary Wyatt:] The opponents of LGBT issues, they're losing. This is not the direction our state or our nation should be headed. [Richard Tisei:] My philosophy is that the government should get off your back, out of your wallet, and away from the bedroom. [Narrator:] Then, the LGBT community fights back in Minnesota. [Woman on left:] I want to be able to marry the person that I love and that's about as simple as it gets. [Jefferson Fietek:] The sexual orientation curriculum policy literally erased gay people. We're tired of being harassed and tormented. Then, we wanted to make a change. ["In the Life" theme music] [Various voices:] We brought everybody together. ACT UP! Health care is a... And we're married! There is nothing for him to hide. Make a promise. ["In the Life" theme music] If same-sex marriage is accepted, the announcement will be official. America will have said the children do not need a mother and a father. [Keith Boykin:] Back in the 1980s and '90s, I think that there was a great deal of hostility and fear toward gays and lesbians that was much more widespread than it is today. [Trent Lott:] The legal recognition of same-sex marriage would be social engineering beyond anything in the American experience. [Narrator:] Now in 2012, staunch conservatives are questioning the use of anti-gay rhetoric. [Rudy Giuliani:] I think the gay rights issue makes the party look like it isn't a modern party, it doesn't understand the modern world. [Madeline Koch:] I think the Republican Party is trying to keep the traditional values ingrained in the best way they can, but they're not actually listening. [Narrator:] With the advancement of LGBT civil rights, how are arguments against issues like marriage equality and the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell changing? Michele Bachmann, I think, sort of combines arch-conservative language being anti-government, [Michele Bachmann:] I will permanently shut down the Department of Education if... [Winnie Stachelberg:] with anti-LGBT language as well. Every time states have put this bill before the American people they have voted in their states to retain the traditional definition of marriage as between one man and one woman. [Boykin:] I think the LGBT movement has moved the ball so far, that now it's harder for those who were anti-gay to explicitly articulate their homophobia, so they have to hide and disguise what they're doing. And you see a lot of that when they talk about family values, they talk about traditional marriage and those types of things. [Stacey Campfield:] There are sexually confused children who could be pushed into a lifestyle that I don't think is appropriate with them. [Stachelberg:] Language has evolved. The LGBT community and our advocacy has evolved. And attacks against our community have evolved too. The language of conservatism is designed to make people afraid of change. And it's historically been the case for a hundred years. When militaries throughout history of the greatest nations in the world have adopted the policy that fine for homosexuality to be overt, they're toward the end of their existence as a great nat- nation. [Boykin:] Go back to the 40-hour work week or the idea of having a weekend. That's, that's gonna ruin us, is gonna, it's gonna take away freedom from business people. Any type of progressive change, they always said that this would lead to the end of the world. And in absolutely no instance have they been proven right. This is done. [Narrator:] With President Obama signing the repeal to end the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy, conservative 2012 presidential candidates reinvigorated old arguments to support reinstating the ban. [Rick Santorum:] You're going to be put them in a very odd and, and uncomfortable environment. A lot of people, I believe, are going to leave. I think a lot of folks are not going to join who otherwise would have joined. And that's going to hurt our readiness, it's going to hurt our ability to defend this country. [Stachelberg:] The debate around repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell absolutely forced people to confront preconceived notions that they had of the gay and lesbian community. And it was in the papers and there were stories about people who had done heroic things in war and were willing to die for their country and somehow they weren't allowed to serve with integrity and be honest about who they were. [Narrator:] In the year since the repeal, studies have shown the reality of the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell has proven conservative arguments to be wrong. [Jonathan Hopkins:] Every indication we've had is things are fine. And even the surveys done by the Comprehensive Repeal Working Group showed that the fear was biggest amongst people who didn't know somebody who's gay. Because what is it? It's fear of the unknown. [Narrator:] How far will conservatives take anti-gay rhetoric? Recently two states, Tennessee and Missouri have embedded anti-gay rhetoric into controversial "Don't Say Gay" bills which banned teachers from discussing homosexuality in schools. Conservatives like Tennessee's Stacey Campfield defended the bill when asked about it on CNN. [Campfield:] Let's leave it up to the families to decide when something is age-appropriate, when it isn't age-appropriate, when their children are ready to talk about those issues. Let's leave it up to the families to decide how they want to handle that issue. [Narrator:] And in Missouri, State Representative Zach Wyatt had a personal stand to make on this legislation. My name is Zachary Wyatt and I'm Missouri's 2nd District State Representative. I've served in the Missouri house for the past two years. [Zachary Wyatt:] I grew up in a town of a population about 550, Novinger, Missouri. You know, all of us know everyone where I come from. Agriculture is our number one industry. My district consists of a lot of conservative people. When I was in high school was when I embraced the Republican Party. I was actually registered as a Republican on my 18th birthday. [Office worker:] Yeah, and then so I'll RSVP you for the fair? [Wyatt:] My big thing is I'm not a one-issue person. And no one should be. We are for fiscal responsibility and smaller government. And that's what led me to come to the Republican Party. [Narrator:[ On May 2nd, 2012, Representative Wyatt responded to the advancement of House Bill 2051 with the bold decision to come out. [Wyatt:] I'm not the first or last Republican to come out. Being gay has never been a Republican or Democrat issue. And it should never be. With national attention on the Missouri House of Representatives in regards to House Bill 2051, I'm compelled to still speak out again... [Wyatt:] When I saw the "Don't Say Gay" bill, I was angered. It, it really hurt me to think that a lot of these colleagues that I serve with on the floor, actually put their names on this bill. But that anger turned into my actions, and I'm glad that it did. [applause] [Wyatt:] Being the only openly gay Republican elected to state legislature in the nation, I'm glad that we're getting out there. Made me realize that we need to get more LGBT members in the Republican Party. [Jay Nixon:] It's always good to be with my friend Zach Wyatt, who just continues to look more relaxed and more confident now he's not running for re-election. [laughter] Right now Missouri is the place to start, grow, and expand a small business. [Wyatt:] It upset me to see that this is what we were putting forth as legislation in the state of Missouri. That we're not putting forth something that's going to be a job creation bill for my constituents or the people in Missouri. I think the thetoric has become more snide and more divisive over time. I think a lot of it is because the opponents of LGBT issues are losing. I think it's the older generation that's trying to spout the rhetoric, and the younger generation's seeing right through it. [Narrator:] How are young people influenced by anti-gay rhetoric? The Human Rights Campaign conducted a study this year to find out. HRC just completed a survey of 10,000 LGBT youth across this country. 10,000, the largest sample size ever conducted. And what it shows is day in and day out, our youth hear negative messages. Over 90% of them hear negative messages about being gay. And 60% of those hear them from their elected leaders. There's no question that the negative rhetoric and the talk that insinuates that one is a second-class citizen has real life impacts on particularly young people. Almost all of the anti-gay rhetoric that we hear about gays in the military, about marriage, about all these various issues that are so controversial has centered on one theme and that is fear. [Boykin:] The reality is we have a half a dozen states in this country that now have same-sex marriage and it hasn't undermined marriage. And I think the only thing that can really convince people is just to watch that change happen, and to see that their fears were completely unfounded. [Narrator:] But as November elections approach, the presidential candidates are split on same-sex marriage. It is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married. For a long time, I think from the beginning of my political career, I've made it very clear that I believe marriage should be a relationship between a man and a woman. My name is Nikki Neely. I'm Tyler... [Narrator:] Yet there is a wave of young conservatives like Madeline Koch of Minnesota, speaking out for the freedom to marry. [Madeline Koch:] I think it's important as a conservative to understand that we are not about limiting freedom and not about limiting rights. If we're put in the conservative bucket, it doesn't mean that we're anti-, you know, you know, gay rights. I'm here today because I'd like to give you my perspective and the perspective of most people I know who are a part of my generation, political party and sexual orientation, on why adding a Constitutional Amendment that would ban same-sex marriage is not only wrong in a moral front, but also takes our party in the wrong direction for future generations of Republicans. [Griffin:] All of the public opinion research shows a majority of young Republicans support marriage equality. In fact, if you look at polling across the board, the vast majority of young people, not only support marriage equality, and by the way, that's regardless of their region of the country, their religious affiliation, and their party affiliation. They go a step further. They can't fathom that that's even a debate. You've got, you know, a much younger cohort, people under the age of 40, who are very split on this issue. They are not uniformly against the idea of same-sex marriage. And so, you know, over 50% of young people under the age of 40 are in favor of the freedom to marry. [Narrator:] Now that the Democratic Party has decided to include language that accepts same-sex marriage into their national convention platform, many are wondering how the Republican Party will respond. [Sarah Longwell:] Richard Tisei, who is a gay Republican running in Massachusetts is fantastic for the Republican Party. He looks, he looks very much like a Republican politician, with a great head of hair and a great mind. And I think that he is absolutely instrumental to showing the Party this is what a gay Republican looks like. [Richard Tisei:] My hope is to be able to go to Washington and be a congressman who happens to be gay, rather than a gay congressman. It's up to me to really prove myself. The notoriety actually on a national level, may help me be a better congressman on the local level. My philosophy is that the government should get off your back, out of your wallet, and away from the bedroom. And I think here in New England that resonates. My partner and I live together. We own a business together. I would not have run if he did not think it was a good idea. Obviously the Party over the past few years hasn't lived up to what its original purpose was. And, you know, the Republican Party was a party that was founded on the basis of equality. You know, historically there are trends and waves that take place, and we're in one right now. [laughs] And I don't think that there's anything that's going to happen that's gonna push back the advances that have been made. People will look back 10 years from now and say well, you know, "What was the big fuss about?" I think most people understand that we'll never have true equality in this country unless you have people on both sides of the aisle that are willing to stand up when an issue comes up, and say, "You know what? We should treat everybody equally. We should treat everybody fairly under the law." If I can play a role as part of the Republican caucus, being able to do that, I think I will be able to move the ball a little further along and, and hopefully pave the way for other people behind me. [music] [dance music] [Narrator:] It's June Pride in Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota and locals here have a lot to be proud of. Minneapolis was named the "Gayest City in America" by the Advocate in 2011. Minnesota Governor Mark Dayton vocally supports marriage equality, and for two decades Minnesota has had laws protecting LGBT people from hate crimes and employment discrimination. [Scott Dibble:] Minnesota is an amazing place. It is a one of the most wonderful, embracing, vibrant, exciting states. [Adam Robbins:] Minneapolis is one of the most encouraging and open and affirming places that I have ever lived in as a gay man. We feel comfortable here, perhaps complacently so. [Narrator:] But for all the acceptance that LGBT people feel, there are deep challenges here. This November, Minnesota will decide on a constitutional ban against same-sex marriage. And less than 30 minutes drive away from the joy of the parade, students faced the unthinkable in a community called Anoka-Hennepin. Anoka-Hennepin is Minnesota's largest school district, located just north of Minneapolis. This could be any suburban school district, but what happened here is anything but typical. [Brittany:] A lot of my friends didn't want to go to school. There's a lot of self-harm. A lot of hospitalizations. Basically a crumbling of the lifestyle of students in our school district. [Narrator:] Starting in 2009, students in Anoka-Hennepin began taking their own lives. I ended up trying to commit suicide and it got very hard. My best friend Samantha Johnson took her life, November 11th, 2009. [Tammy Aaberg:] I am the mother of Justin Aaberg, who died by suicide in July 2010. [cello music] [Narrator:] One of the victims was 15 year-old Justin Aaberg, an accomplished cello player. [Aaberg:] He came out to me when he was 13. But then after he died, I found out that he was outed like a few months before that. And many of his friends told me like all of his guy friends, except for one, stopped being friends with him or started teasing him. And these two boys, I guess grabbed him in the, in the, in the [muted] in, in a tunnel, and said, "You like that, don't you?" His friend, one of his friends, saw him crying a little bit down the hallway. The next morning, the counselor called the friend down and said, "Did Justin end up telling you what happened?" And she said," Yeah, you know, things like this happen to gay kids all the time." And she didn't ask any further what had happened. Didn't, I didn't get a phone call. He told me a few months before he died that, you know, he was told that he was gonna go to hell because he's gay. And I'm like, "No that isn't true. God loves everybody." So when you have, you know, your school not really sticking up for you, and you have parents and students telling you this. It's kind of like you lose your hope 'cause he, he believed in God and he would always wear a cross. And thinking back, I don't remember him wearing that cross the last few months before he died. [Narrator:] From 2009 to 2011, eight other students had also taken their lives, a total of nine suicides in the school district. Dr. Daniel Reidenberg, Managing Director of the Minnesota-based Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, was the first to label the deaths a "suicide cluster". [Dan Reidenberg:] When we talk about a suicide cluster, we're really talking about the defined community, where you have a certain number of people, more than two, in a short amount of time all dying by suicide and somehow they're connected. In Anoka, Minnesota, I did talk about it as a cluster of suicides. There were many that were afraid to. But the reality is, is that it's best to identify it and define it as what it was. [Narrator:] But what was the common thread? Attorneys at the Southern Poverty Law Center launched an investigation into what was happening. [Sam Wolfe:] We're talking to a lot of students and families, and I remember one day in particular where I talked to three different mothers who had each lost their kid to suicide in one day. And what we were able to confirm is there was a shocking number of suicide deaths. What we also found is there was this hostile anti-gay environment in the school that was contributing, at least to some of them. We did find evidence that at least four of the students who were LGBT or at least perceived as being gay. Jefferson Fietek, an openly gay middle school arts teacher who had grown up in the area decided to do something about the atmosphere. [Jefferson Fietek:] I really just put the words out to kids that you know, what? You can come into my room in the mornings and you can be yourself. And so we really started to attract a lot of the kids who were, you know, the "goth kids", or maybe didn't wear the best clothes, or were maybe feminine or too masculine and so my room became affectionately known as the "land of misfit toys". [Narrator:] But by talking about homosexuality Jefferson was violating a school policy called "No Homo Promo", stating homosexuality would not be taught or addressed as a normal valid lifestyle. In 2009, the policy morphed into the Sexual Orientation Curriculum Policy, that staff shall remain neutral on matters regarding sexual orientation. [Fietek:] The Sexual Orientation Curriculum Policy literally erased gay people. They didn't exist. There were teachers who received a memo that if you were in support of these kids that you were violating the policy, and you could be terminated or worse. [Wolfe:] They came up with this gag policy. The way they sold it was saying, "We're just neutral on the issue of sexual orientation. We're not for it, we're not against it. But basically it's a better to be talked about by your families, your churches, at home, but not at school. We talked to kids who felt there was no one to reach out to. [Dylon:] I've got death threats from people telling me if I didn't leave the city they'd kill me. I got - people call me "fag", push me in the lockers, saying that I should just go kill myself and that no one really cared about me. [Damien:] Well, I was bullied, harassed, tormented a ton, for reasons because I had two dads. I was stabbed in the back of the neck, choked in the bathroom, called "gay", "faggot" a ton. [Kyle:] I was pushed down the stairs one time. I was urinated on by a student in the bathroom. Just called awful names. I was shoved into desks. I was locked in lockers. [Kristyen:] I had people call me sinners and throw Gatorade at me. And I had people actually take my personal photos and send them around the school. [Brittany:] I got told by some of my old friends on the bus that I should go kill myself because my friend did. And did I watch it happen? I got prank calls every night. I still have been getting 'em. [Narrator:] As news media began to report on the story, students, parents, and advocates pressed the Anoka-Hennepin School Board to change the neutrality policy. But the Board refused to act. [Fietek:] Suddenly the secret was no longer a secret. Suddenly community members were talking about what these kids were going through. When confronted, School Board members and the Superintendent would say things like, "This is political. There's not a problem." [Damien:] We're tired of being harassed and tormented through school, and seeing other kids being harassed and tormented and we wanted to make a change. [Narrator:] In June 2011, six students sued the Anoka-Hennepin School District for failing to address bullying. The U.S. Department of Justice got involved and early this year, the School District agreed in a 60-page consent decree to end the neutrality policy, and enact specific improvements to prevent bullying. The consent decree has been hailed as a historic moment in LGBT rights, and has influenced Governor Dayton's Anti-Bullying Task Force to demand stronger anti-bullying statutes throughout the state. [Kristyen:] When we won the lawsuit it was one of the proudest moments of my life, just being able to know that we were able to make a difference, and we were heard. [Narrator:] The roots of Anoka-Hennepin's anti-gay policies stretch into the political makeup of the state. Andy Birkey, a reporter for the Minnesota Independent covered the case. [Andy Birkey:] The big players behind the neutrality policy in Anoka-Hennepin were socially conservative Christian groups. They created a group called the Parents Action League. They rallied at school boards and, and got involved in the school board elections, and they also worked to get ex-gay therapy references into the classroom. They were pretty much the driving force. [Narrator:] Anoka-Hennepin lies within the congressional district of Representative Michele Bachmann, where she commands the loyalty of a deep political base of social conservatives. She and her husband own a clinic in Lake Elmo that has practiced reparative therapy. And this past June, America's largest ex-gay organization, Exodus International, held its national conference at a conservative Christian college in St. Paul. To Scott Dibble, an openly gay Minnesota legislator, the connections are obvious. I believe, absolutely believe that there is a nexus and a connection between, you know, a lot of these efforts around ex-gay therapy, this hostile response to efforts to address bullying in our schools. You know, and the common thread is this whole idea that GLBT people aren't legitimate people. It's, it's delegitimizing and dehumanizing who we are. House, come to order. [Narrator:] Years of efforts by social conservatives opposing LGBT rights have culminated this year in a push for an amendment to the state constitution, banning same-sex marriage. [Speaker on TV:] To provide that only a union of one man and one woman... [Birkey:] In November, Minnesotans will be voting on whether to put a ban on same-sex marriage in the state constitution. Minnesota is one of the few states that either doesn't have gay marriage or doesn't have a marriage amendment. So however November goes is probably how the state's gonna go. [Chanting:] Hey hey, ho ho. This amendment has got to go. [Narrator:] The response from pro-equality Minnesotans to the proposed constitutional amendment has been fierce. I'm fervently opposed to the amendment. We'd like our gay and lesbian friends to be able to make that same choice. [Woman on left:] I want to be able to marry the person that I love and that's about as simple as it gets. We have to do everything we can to really stand up for the fundamental values that we all share in Minnesota. [Richard Carlbom:] Minnesotans United for All Families was formed literally minutes after the legislature proposed this amendment to the constitution. It was formed by our two statewide LGBT organizations: Outfront Minnesota and Project 515. Our opposition is actually silence. Our opposition is, is a lack of conversation in this state about why this amendment is so hurtful and divisive. [Woman:] The one-on-one conversations are the only way that we can defeat this amendment. And it's up to every one of us to have those conversations. [Narrator:] It is conversations like these that Minnesotans United hopes to start among families, friends, and religious groups. I got involved because Minnesotans United decided to create a faith department. That's kind of unique in this kind of work in this, in this kind of campaign. [Man:] You guys are joking, right? [Grant Stevensen:] No, we're serious. Seriously against limiting Minnesotans' freedom to marry. [Stevensen:] Sometimes we're reaching out to see if people want to have conversations with us. And sometimes they're actually calling us saying, "We want to be able to have a conversation in our parish." [Narrator:] Some conversations are already happening at house parties all across the state. [Carlbom:] Our opposition in 2012, is silence. Have the conversation. Contribute. Whatever is personally significant. People are counting on it. [Narrator:] The strategy seems to be working, as polls show that the constitutional amendment is losing support. No matter how the vote in November turns out, for Tammy Aaberg and the kids of Anoka- Hennepin who marched at Pride, breaking the silence is a welcome change. [Brittany:] Being public about it, we helped maybe one more kid out there, one more teenager, one more middle-aged person accept who they are and see that it's not right to be treated as an unequal person. [Narrator:] Thank you for watching "In the Life". Visit our website at itlmedia.org to join us for a special online discussion about anti-gay rhetoric. Justin's Gift came about because both myself and Tammy's feeling that these kids needed something positive to grab on to. [Aaberg:] We started out having social events where LGBT youth and their ally friends can come and just be themselves, have fun, be accepted. I really want all kids to feel safe and comfortable in my school. But I think things are definitely getting better, but we have a long way to go. [Announcer:] "In the Life" is funded in part by: the H. van Ameringen Foundation; Arcus Foundation; The Estate of Richard W. Weiland; Gill Foundation; PASSPORT Magazine; and by these funders; and by the annual support of In the Life members, like you. [logo music] [logo music]