In the Life: Ep. 2110, "Words Do Matter"

[Theme music, Announcer] "In the Life," is funded in part by, [Announcer] the H. van Ameringen Foundation. [Announcer] Arcus Foundation. [Announcer] The Estate of Richard W. Weiland. [Announcer] Dewey & Leboeuf. [Announcer] And by the annual support of, "In the Life," members like you. [Narrator Triple Edwards] Words do matter. Whether it's in the locker room or on TV. [Edwards] A homophobic or transphobic comment from a newscaster or sports hero has a big impact on the LGBT youth who are watching. [Kobe Bryant] Fucking faggot. [Kya Allums] I was pissed. 'Cause I love Kobe. That's, that's my dude. But, then I thought about it, like, that happens all the time. [Edwards] This month, "In the Life," explores homophobia from the locker room to the playing field. [Edwards] And we talked to allies and mentors who are actually changing the game. [Tiki Barber] I think it's important for straight athletes to talk about this taboo subject, at time, gay athletes. Ah, because it, it sparks a discussion. [Edwards] Then later, Isis King and Janet Mock have a conversation about how the media often gets it wrong when talking about transgender people. [Isis King] People are still asking the same Trans 101 questions. [King] What was your name? All of these questions, where it's just like, okay, when are we going to move past this? [Music] [?] We brought everybody together. [Larry Kramer] Act up. [Crowd] Act up! [?] There is nothing really to hide. Make a promise. [Theme music] [Driving music, continues under dialogue] [Jacob Gardner] Before a cross country race, it's always custom to walk the tracks. [Gardner] We were walking the course. [Gardner] We were talking and I felt a rock hit me in the back of the head. And once the rock had hit me and kind of people were reacting to it, the kid had said, "What's the big deal? It's just that gay pussy faggot." [Music] [Pat Griffin] The homophobia in sport has, is so pervasive. Partly because sport has always been, ah, sort of a male domain. [Standing boy] Hey, Coach, is Mickey Mouse here, gonna live? [Sitting kid] Mickey Mouse? [Coach] All right. [Griffin] And I think sport has been perceived as sort of a place where men in a way learn to be masculine. [Narrator] a distance runner too. [Gardner] When I was in seventh grade, people kind of harrassed me when I was that young, because, [Gardner] I was more effeminate than most of the guys. And so kind of hearing people say, "That's so gay. And you're such a fag." Made me think, well, actually, am I? [Edwards] Jacobs experience is not isolated. From playgrounds to sports teams, [Edwards] homophobia is unfortunately all too common according to GLSEN's 2009 National School Climate Survey. [Giffin] Some students are too scared to go to the gym. [Giffin] They see the locker room as such a scary place. They will skip gym or school altogether rather than have to go there. That's, that's an incredible, powerful statement. [Edwards] And the words used to taunt LGBT kids were broadcast on National TV, in April 2011. [Announcer] suspended for two, [Edwards] When Kobe Bryant screamed the f-word at a referee. [Announcer] the count starts over. [Kobe Bryant] Vinnie. Fucking faggot. [Announcer] He's yelling at Vinnie. [Edwards] At George Washington University, [Edwards] Kya Allums, the first transgender NCAA basketball player, reacted to Kobe's slur. [Allums] I was pissed. 'Cause I love Kobe. That's, that's my dude. But, [laughs] but, then I thought about it, like, that happens all the time. [Allums] He, he just so happen to get caught. I'm pretty sure that they're probably not one NBA player hasn't said it. Faggot or gay or whatever? [Edwards] Sean Chapin of San Francisco was also watching. [Sean Chapin] When I saw it happen. I was very upset by it. I went ahead and grabbed a video that was on Youtube. Rehashed it with an LGBT message, [Chapin] It attracted a lot of attention and also it attracted a lot of homophobic hatred. [Gardner] When a professional athlete says something homophobic or hurtful, it is empowering the kids that look up to them, to say those homophobic and hurtful things. [Chapin] Words definitely matter. It's trickle-down homophobia that, eventually gets into our schools. [Edwards] Then, two weeks after the Kobe incident an Atlanta braves coach was also caught yelling homophobic slurs at San Francisco Giants fans. [Edwards] At that point, Sean had had enough. So, when I heard of Roger McDowell's homophobic comments at a Giants game. Well, by the time, I already had the idea of, asking the San Francisco Giants to making an, It Gets Better, video. To the San Francisco Giants. The professional sports world cannot afford to fall behind the rest of the country. [Chapin] This is why I am calling on you and your players to produce a video for the, It Gets Better Project. [Chapin] Born in September, 2010 when a string of LGBT teen suicides was making national news. [Chapin] The It Gets Better Project, has provided the LGBT and straight ally community a means through Youtube, telling our youth that it gets better. Your fan, Sean Chapin. [Ben Rattray] We love the video. I actually watched the video. It was about two in the morning. [Rattray] I immediately sent out an email to a number of people on the team saying this is an amazing person. I don't know who Sean Chapin is, but we need to help. [Rattray] So, Change.org is a platform where anyone, anywhere, can sort of petition around any issue they care about. And we empower people through online tools, to start effective campaigns. [Chapin] When they sent an email to their mass distribution list and the next day we got five thousand, six thousand signatures. [Chapin] I'm just, you know, my hair is raised in just in saying this right now. [Barry Zito] Hi, I'm Barry Zito. We speak for the entire Giants organization when we say that there is no place in society for hatred and bullying against anyone. ["Bam Bam" Meulens] The fans are our biggest supporters here. We listen to what they say. [Meulens] It's something that you would want to have, you want to do out of your heart. [Matt Cain] It gets better. [Sergio Romo] It gets better. [Meulens] We're in the public view. People use us as role models. [Meulens] And I think is only fitted to, you know, give something back. [Kevin Youkilis] It doesn't matter your sexual orientation. [Edwards] Since then, the Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, Minnesota Twins and a growing list of other teams have made their own It Gets Better videos. [Rattray] The participation of sports teams in the It Gets Better Project is an indication that we're reaching this cultural tipping point on LGBT issues. [Rattray] Folks are realizing that support for gay people, gay rights, that these things are mainstream values. [Edwards] Mainstream or not, it's going to take a concerted effort by all athletic teams to end homophobia in sports. [Edwards] And the one person who has been fighting for three decades for it to get better for LGBT athletes, is retired University of Massachusetts, Professor Pat Griffin. [Giffin] Why don't you come on upstairs to my office. That's where most of my queer stuff is. Well, this is my autographed picture of Martina Navratilova. [Griffin] Here's my book. "Strong Women, Deep Closets, Lesbians and Homophobia in Sport." Very proud of this book. I feel like it's made a difference. [Griffin] I am the project director for, Changing the Game, the GLSEN Sports project. [Griffin] I've been working on LGBT issues in sports for over 30 years. [Brian Sims] This year, GLSEN launched something called, Changing the Game. [Sims] The advisory panel is run by Pat Griffin, who is literally the godmother of all LGBT sports research. [Griffin] Changing the Game, focuses on, athletics and physical education in K through 12 schools. Some of the most insidious types of homophobia, start very, very, very young. [Sims] And if we can work with, youth leagues and youth teams and youth coaches and get them to recognize that in an environment, [Sims] that is welcoming and supportive, it is a winning environment. [Griffin] Our mission is to make sure that every school in the United States; [Griffin] their athletic programs, their physical education programs, are based on the core values of respect, safety and inclusion. So that every student regardless of their sexual orientation or their gender identity can achieve their goals in athletics. [Edwards] And joining Pat and her fight for equality are two prominent straight allies. Rugby star, Ben Cohen and college wrestling champ, Hudson Taylor, who have created their own organizations to end homophobia. [Ben Cohen] He's on an event at Boxers Tonight to support, [Cohen] anti-bullying across the board, but specifically, in the LGBT community. And, um, the reception we've had, has been amazing. [Griffin] To have athletes like, Ben Cohen, who is a former professional athlete and who is heterosexual. [Griffin] Or Hudson Taylor or any of the other, straight male athletes who have been speaking up. [Griffin] They get attention, and they're great role models for other straight athletes. [Clap, echoes] [Noises of wrestlers landing on mat] [Hudson Taylor] For a long time, when I heard homophobic language used, it didn't affect me. [Taylor] Because I didn't have any out friends. I didn't have any out relatives. As a college freshman, I actually started at the University of Maryland as a Theater Major. [Taylor] Once a month, I had a friend who would come out, to the class and it would be a big celebration. And then to hear that homophobic language from my teammates, is really the first turning point that encouraged me and inspired me to, [Taylor] to try to do something about it. [Taylor] As a captain of my wrestling team, as an All-American Athlete, [Taylor] I felt that I was in a position to try to change the word choices of my teammates. [Taylor] Every week I tried to put out a video called the Allies Playbook. [Taylor] Every time we step out onto that field we're standing up as leaders. [Taylor] And what I tried to do, is, is give athletes some proactive advice that they can follow. [Taylor] That they can take back to their athletic community, back to their teams to try to make a difference. [Taylor] Up until today there have been about three thousand people who have signed the Athlete Ally pledge. [Barber] I think it's important for straight athletes to talk about, ah, this taboo subject, at time, gay athletes. Because it, it sparks a discussion. [Bat strikes ball, cheers] [Barber] Then I always hearken it back to the Jackie Robinson, era. You know, think about a time when African-Americans weren't allowed to play sports, [Barber] simply because of the color of their skin. And think about the contributions that were missed then, that are now capitalized on. It's the same thing with sexual orientation is it was with skin color. [Barber] It doesn't matter. You're either a great athlete or you're not. [Edwards] While these athletes advocate for more straight allies to come out as supporters. [Edwards] Others, like photographer Jeff Sheng, who created the "Fearless," exhibit, advocate for more LGBT visibility in sports. [Jeff Sheng] I majored in photography and filmmaking at Harvard and [Sheng] really wanted to make a project that had a lot of social impact. [Sheng] I emailed all my friends and said I want to photograph out LGBT athletes from high school and college. They thought I was crazy. [Music] [Ashley Gradwel] My name is Ashley Gradwel, and I'm a division one field hockey player. [Gradwel] Field hockey is played with this stick. [Gradwel] The side you use is flat. [Gradwel] We go over the ball to pull it and come like this, this would be a slap hit. [Sheng] I photographed Ashley for all the photo shoots. I make the athlete workout. And a part of my goal is to capture them as an athlete. [Gradwel] He portrays normal athletes. People, you know, know everyday people who you wouldn't pick out as being gay, and that was something that, like, really inspired me, because all of my teammates are so supportive. I wanted to be a part of that. [Teammate] I think it's her confidence. Like she's so confident in herself, that she just seems like such a leader to us. [Teammate] I didn't really know. They just told me that she was gay. And it was just kind of cool that we had a lesbian teammate now. And I like it. She's funny. She tells us everything we need to know. [Teammate] At least she's okay with talking about it, like, she's just, she's willing to answer our questions. And, we have questions, which is every day. [Giggles] Um. [Sheng?] What would be the kind of questions that you ask her? [Girls laugh] [Teammate] Anything inappropriate you could think about for a lesbian, that's what we ask. [Edwards] Kya is another athlete who will be featured in an upcoming installment of "Fearless." Kya's photo shoot happened late last year. Had him shoot hoops for about an hour. [Allums] I definitely want to educate others because a lot of people know nothing about trans anything. And there's a lot of misconceptions. [Edwards] One way to fight all misconceptions of LGBT athletes is for more gay professional athletes to come out, as well. [Edwards] There are currently no out major league athletes in the U. S. [Edwards] But former Washington Redskins teammate Wade Davis, feels that needs to change. [Wade Davis] It's important for gay athletes to come out, to show other youth and show other young people that who they are, is fine. Who they are, is normal. [Davis] I think a lot of times when you're a young gay person. You really question your validity on this earth. [Gardner] It's a lot to ask, but coming out is the best thing you can do for kids. There are kids who look up to professional sports. And when they don't see anyone who's out. It's hard for them to imagine themselves there. [Griffin] There's something that everyone can do. Whether you are a graduate of high school or whether you're a student or parent and you have students in a school. [Griffin] Find out what's going on in that school. Teachers and coaches need awareness. They need strategies to protect students. No one should come on a sports team and feel like they're being targeted for who they are. [Edwards] So after being attacked by a teammate, does Jacob still feel targeted in school. [Gardner] The next day, when we all came to practice. And this kid came in, the rest of the team booed him. [Gardner] And then the coach said, he would do anything to help me. The school came forward and said, that they would support me. [Barber] I think it is growing, acceptance of grey, gay athletes. Mainly because, this topic has become national. The message is simple. Accept and talk and think before you act. Because once you act, you can't take it back. [Griffin] I often describe the work of addressing LGBT issues in sport as a relay race. [Griffin] You know I've got my leg. I received the baton from some women and men who ran the race, the leg ahead of me. [Griffin] So, I'm grateful for all the young people who are stepping up and are willing to take this on and take it to the next level. It's like taking the baton and passing it on to the next generation, so they can run the best race of their life. [Music] [Music] [Edwards over music] In 2008, Isis King was the first transgender woman to appear on "America's Next Top Model." [Edwards] Breaking ground not only in the fashion and modeling industries, but on TV screens across America. [King] I was born physically male, but, mentally, everything else, I was born female. [Edwards] In her work as a model, fashion designer and actress, she's been changing perceptions and breaking down barriers. [Edwards] Janet Mock is a trans advocate and staff editor for People.com. [Janet Mock] To speak up, to live visibly. Because being silenced would be a disservice, not only to me, but to the women who came before me and the ones, whose voices have been silenced by Intolerance and hate. [Edwards] Janet shared her story of transitioning as a teenager in, "Marie Claire," magazine. [Edwards] She chose to live visibly as a transgender woman to challenge people's perceptions, [Edwards] and serve as a positive role model for other transgender people. [King] Hi! [Mock giggling] [Edwards] Isis and Janet came to, "In the Life," to discuss media portrayals of transgender people, [Edwards] and how their lives and work contribute to changing public perception. [King] So your life has changed a lot in the past year. How does it feel to now to be considered a transgender role model? [Mock] It's a role that I'm growing more and more kind of comfortable into, I guess kind of how you grow into your womanhood or your adulthood. You kind of grow into the role of role model taking on all of that responsibility. People need someone to look up to. [King] Hmm. [Mock] That's why I stepped forward with my story and, "Marie Claire." [Mock] There seems to be a gap in terms of media coverage of, transgender women specifically. We actually have lives that need to be covered and civil rights that need to be attained and fought for. And so, you know, I have to ask you the same question, you know. [Mock] The power of TV. Everyone's watching, "Top Model." [Mock] And not only trans women, but you're a role model for women. How does that feel for you? [King] I think it hit me the first time, right after Top Model. I went to a restaurant. And this lady came up with this little girl, who's maybe five years old and says she loved me. I didn't realize I would impact young kids. [King] And I never would have thought a parent would let their child come up to a transgender woman. [King] It really was touching because I didn't grow up and see people, that transition you know unless they were on "Maury," or, "The Jerry Springer Show." [King] The next generation will see that you can follow your dreams. And we bring, me, you, we bring the normality of the situation. We're regular people, following our dreams, pursuing our great careers. So we all understand the power of TV, and the fact that you are on TV, and your reach there. What about the other depictions of trans women, on TV. We haven't jumped over the hurdle of, positive imagery of transgender women on TV. There's me. There's Laverne. [King] I can't really think of anybody else, and then when I do think about it, I still, once again go back to, "Jerry Springer," and "Maury." [Mock] Those shows equally, have if not more reach, than, [Mock] "America's Next Top Model," and it's just like a new updated version of the freak show. [Mock] No one talks about these women's lives, beyond the fact, are they a man or a woman. We really need to get over the fact that this is how I was born. I went on the, "Howard Stern Show." And he said the word, "tranny," a couple of times. And I had to say, "Howard it's trans," I said Howard, it's transgender." So, for the rest of interview, he said, "transgender," and I said, "Howard, are you really learning?" He said, "I'm open to learning," and just like even that is seeing him on his show and teaching him something. [King] We live in a world where kids grow up and are educated by TV. [King] The more we stand up and say this isn't right, the more they'll learn. But if we just allow it to happen and just take it. Then we're not getting anywhere. You have to use your life as a teaching moment and a learning moment. [Mock] I go to these panels and many people say well, you were born a man or, you know. What do you think when people look at your adam's apple? Or all of these things are, [laughs] [Mock] When they're kind of reading you a little bit. [King] Mm, hmm. They're curious. And curiosity is the first step to wanting to understand someone. And your role is to bring it back to what this is, kindly correct them and say, you know it's not okay to say that I was born a man. Or that I am a man. Or that my boyfriend is gay. Or all these things. But I'm happy that you asked me that question. This is the way that it should be. [Mock] I just love that you did, you used that moment with Howard Stern, to kind of turn it into a teaching moment. Even if you have to turn around and [exhales and laughs]. [Talk over each other, unintelligible] [Mock] that breathing. [King] That moment when you turn around and say, "Hmm." You know, but, [Mock] It's all good. [King] keep it to yourself and and just, you know, it comes with the territory of being a role model. So you just mentioned using the word tranny. What does that mean to you when you hear that word? And when it's used especially within the LGBT community, as well. I always say, to me it's like the n-word. And people say, well, it doesn't mean the same. And I said, well, I'm a black woman. And I'm transgender. So, I'm telling you, when somebody says it, it has the same effect on me. And I know recently, um, it became a big, a big thing. And RuPaul talked about it and said how the word isn't that serious. [King] But, I am a transgender female. And I'm telling the world that, it is as serious. Is not appropriate, and there's plenty of other ways to make a joke about whatever. Then to use a word that hurts a group of people. [Mock] When you have a platform like RuPaul has a platform. It's irresponsible. [King] Mm, hmm. [Mock] Because, especially when you're not a trans woman walking through the streets every day, like, [Mock] RuPaul gets to go home and he can just be RuPaul and walk through the street as a gay black man. [King] Mm, hmm. [Mock] But when you are a trans woman and the world is saying you're a man, you're a tranny, over and over and over. Is what leads to, [Mock] trans women hurting themselves in a way that they feel they don't deserve more. [King] Yeah. [Mock] They don't deserve to be on something better than, "Maury," or "Jerry Springer," or to tell their stories, you know, in a positive light. These words and images, they matter, and people need to be more responsible. [King] I even try to stay away from transsexual because I still have my own little things with the word. What is that? I want to actually, explore that. [King laughs] I just, kind of like the whole tranny thing. I feel like, [King] when someone says transsexual, so much negativity to come with it. So I just prefer transgender. Yeah, and of course you have the right to self identify how you choose to self identify. [King] Yeah. [Mock] I think that transsexual almost to me makes it only about the body and the transition. [Mock] Where as transgender, I feel, speaks more to the entire essence, of what politically, what our bodies say. So after, "Top Model," you know, I went and did all these interviews. People are still asking the same Trans 101 questions. What was your name? How old were you when you felt like you were different. All of these questions where it's just like okay, when are we going to move past this. [Mock] I get very angry when I see depictions of, Trans 101 through mainstream media. Especially when I saw the Don Lemon interview. Which you were on the panel. [King laughs] Yeah. [Mock] And it was supposed to be about, transgender people in Hollywood. [Don Lemon] What has been the most difficult part of the transition for you? [Chaz Bono] You know, I thought we were here to talk about trans people in Hollywood. We've got three, [Bono] unbelievably beautiful, talented women up there, and, ah, we're talking about Transgender 101 here. [Mock] This is Laverne Cox, Isis King, Harmony Santana. Three transgender women of color, and Chaz Bono, coming in as well. [Mock] And I want to hear, what was that experience like? [Mock] Instead, it was Don Lemon asking him about every little thing that he'd been so open about already. You know, what is it like to have a beard? What it? [King] What is it like to shave? Don Lemon, what is it like to have a beard? You know. Why are you asking Chaz Bono, what is it like to have a beard. Or hey? Is that fun to have, you know, some peach fuzz? And doesn't, is it fun to shave? [Mock] Like, I'm like, really you're a CNN interviewer and that's what you're choosing to ask one of the most prominent transgender, activists and advocates, already living so bravely and visibly. And then you have three women sitting there quiet. Just sitting there quiet. No questions are asked about. Laverne Cox, what is it like to produce television as a transgender woman? How are you changing images? You know. [King] Mm, hmm. [Mock] Isis King, what was it like to transition in front of the media and to now have this huge platform where you're becoming an actress and a designer. [Mock] There's just like so many things about our lives that are so much more than just our bodies in this physical transition that we go through. [Mock] What is your goal when you kind of go from Isis the celebrity to Isis, kind of you know, the activist advocate. Or, do you see yourself that way? You know, what are your hopes with these projects that you're doing? [King] My hope is that I will be, someone that people can look to, as hope for the next generation, for the future. By just being positive, and being strong, and, standing up for what you know is right. [Mock] It feels as if, finally things are kind of rolling over and changing to show, [Mock] a very diverse portrait of our entire community of LGBT people. That, [Mock] we're everywhere and we're part of everyone's homes and lives and societies. You know, I'm really happy that the world can see, two women, sit down and talk about issues that matters a lot to us. I think, that's really powerful. [Mock] You know, I feel so privileged to be here and share this space with you, and you know it is something, that's rarely done, and it's, it's an honor for both of us, to kind of be here and be able to talk about these issues. [King] Give me a love, as Tyra would say. No, this is what Tyra would do. You're dismissed. [Laughter] [Edwards] Thank you for watching, "In the Life." Join us on our website at, ITL.media.org, for follow-up interview with Brian Sims who appeared in, "Changing the Game." Brian is now poised to be the first openly gay state representative in Pennsylvania. I can't stress enough, how important it is to elect openly LGBT people to office. No state that has ever enacted any type of pro LGBT relationship recognition, did it without first having an openly LGBT state legislator. [Music] [Background conversation, laughter, music] [Basketball bouncing noise] [Theme music, Announcer] "In the Life," is funded in part by, [Announcer] the H. van Ameringen Foundation. [Announcer] Arcus Foundation. [Announcer] The Estate of Richard W. Weiland. [Announcer] Dewey & Leboeuf. [Announcer] And by the annual support of, "In the Life," members like you. [Theme music] [Theme music]