In the Life: Ep. 1910, "Defying Stereotypes"

in the life is funded in part by the H man hammering and foundation arcus foundation the estate of richard w island and by the annual support of in the life members like you the lack of fair and accurate representations of LGBT people is arguably one of the leading causes of homophobia one way to eradicate homophobia and raise awareness is with positive gay images a strategy used to counter stereotypes and bring visibility to our community tonight on in the life documenting the people and the issues shaping the gay experience lesbian volunteers bring positive visibility and lend a helping hand to local communities while vacationing in the Caribbean and rappers who use their words and image to change hearts and minds within the music industry lab data in november two thousand nine sweet launched its first eco-friendly lesbian cruise companies like sweet offer LGBT travelers a chance to make a difference to the local communities they visit whether it's cleaning up beaches or providing books and computers where they're needed these sweet volunteers or sweeties are helping to do some good while on vacation left a tittle of time sweet is a lesbian travel company dedicated to changing the world while we're on vacation for years we would go on these ships and get off and see poverty and beaches full of crap Shannon and Jenna Jen thought about let's like still go on the ship still do the vacation still cruise but when we get off let's change something the cruise is going to happen anyway women are going to go on vacation together and we're adding the volunteerism on top of it bonus and I got a a spam can from Denmark buddha at the first port of call costa maya mexico 150 sweeties picked up over 200 giant bags of garbage Mexico's coastline has the unfortunate happenstance of being in ocean current the drags trash from all over the world and deposited on Mexico's eighty-five percent of the stress I'm going to pick up today not generated in you're not gonna believe how much trash is out here seriously it's gonna break your heart take care of it all like crazy dolphin choking material out here don't bring my martini it's experiential education right we're on that beach in costa maya that first day and the women are you know we're playing a game collecting trash everybody can agree that it is really bad to have be in paradise with a bunch of trash I feel like what a bunch of lesbian hunter-gatherers okay but somebody was probably really looking for this we found all kinds of stuff and without me I'm gonna preach no I don't have to say anything people were like I want to be more mindful of my trash it was made fun yeah we grabbed you know some gloves and trash bag and pick up all this debris and got some stickers and some bug bites and all this kind of jazz and you know we're jumping in this awesome water and just the whole like we're all doing it together and what I really wanted to happen was for the guests it then come to me and say we can do more work as hard or do this do that you spend most of your life taking away from the planet and so now I'm proud as an african-american woman and being almost 50 to spend the second part of my life giving back Jenna and I had a series of conversations about you know what we wanted to be when we grew up and what we wanted to our lives to look like you know we don't have a bunch of money right now so let's give our time because time is really the greatest gift that you can that you can give we are ambassadors when we go on these community service projects we're bringing with us are really positive attitude and and our belief that we can make a difference when I came to believe in 2005 I came out to my peace corps staff I asked them is it okay and safe to come out as a lesbian in Belize and they basically told me know that it would be in fact i was informed that it might be to my best interest to tell people i was married and that my husband died i have been here four and half years and a heaven meant one out affirmed lesbian this is the first announced lesbian cruise coming in since then there have been others but they don't announce and declare with the court that they're here so there's press about your lesbian voluntary status and i think it's been very positive while in belize sweet volunteers painted bright cartoon characters on the walls of a children's hospital ward and across town other sweeties painted three children's classrooms read stories to kids and donated books to the school's library thank you very much for being here I hope you enjoy your stay I know it's not doing and the tours or anything but I'm sure you will leave beliefs with us tons of great satisfaction the people who volunteer with us they feel so good afterwards and they have so much energy about it and thing that we've seen is that creates a ripple effect throughout the rest of their lives like that's my favorite part of coming home from our cruise we did seven different community service projects he's hearing the about the projects that have forked off of that we had some guests organize the holiday party and normally they do a gift exchange and this year they did a bring a book to send to Belize but to build on the library that we created when we were there a big one I get to hear these stories every day of how this small project that we did you to 24 hours has led to something much bigger and much more impactful glass the next one and if we find a bottle we're supposed to try to look for the country it came from or the company in put it right here here's a wooden table there is no fish in November we did a beach cleanup we planted 25 mangrove trees and in a in wetlands devastated by Hurricane Hugo and we also refurbished a community park we are here today helping with the Rotary Club and some of the people that actually live here to do some projects for maintenance and improvements in the partner teach science I teach high school environmental side and it's very important to me that when I plan this vacation that it was carbon neutral and also that there was a chance to get out to the communities instead of being a big ship that just comes in the poor and it's filled with consumers I want it to be part of the producers and to help the individual communities that we came into and this is project that I participated Italy I think of it I've take back a much better sense of my vacation having been more than just personal indulgence we're going back to Cozumel in September and they have a whole list of things they want us to do while we're there so we're there for a week this sep tember and we're going to build on those projects we're going to do some more beach cleanup and we're going to do some sea turtle habitat restoration and we're also going to do a baby sea turtle release and go out and see you know we're gonna go see if our mangroves are growing we're gonna go see check out our community park where the e-learning Center in rotan and we donated a couple of computers and those are getting set up to computers go down yeah one is over there one is in my car they died last week your timing couldn't be better to reach a significant 7 really grateful the problem here is on our own we don't have enough schools for all the children we have approximately 40,000 school-age children and less than twenty-five percent actually go to school it's great when you can see a kid say I learned to read this year and I am glad that you were here to show me how to do it and I'm my mom and my father that are proud of me the need is huge and they need to be bilingual it it's in Spanish country but it's an English island so there every there are all these wonderful facets of our life here so the learning centers are English and Spanish the sweet group was coming to the island and they wanted to volunteer I mean this was totally you've never had this show he said love it yes please bring home the kids they'll remember the computer but what they're going to remember is all these crazy gringos who came down and painted and cleaned up and fixed their school that's huge for them we made a huge impact on the communities we visited like for a day every city we went to was totally a buzz with these lesbians are doing this really good thing you know and we represented you know not only lesbians but also the United States in a way that was was really really remarkable and that's that was um was exciting it was it was neat to watch like the kids you know these girls who maybe have never seen many expressions of gender diversity you know looking at like wow she has short hair and tattoos and she looks like a you know a sweet ol grandma and like I mean we had such amazing diversity on this trip and I was just really really beautiful to see people going I thought I knew what a lesbian was but I don't homophobia keeps countless entertainers in the closet and hip-hop artists are especially challenged by gay stereotypes next we hear from shorty roc and King rappers who remain true to themselves and their work as out recording artists he's been so hot it was all a dream I used to read The Source magazine wondering will i ever do my thing puffy Mary's right into the edge of my sheet let me show you how I came to life ilysm see the illmatic LP around the rod to CDs when deception no lies with notorious team before I grabbed the mic i put my life to beat I was a younger rolling hard through them BK street some ca2 in a park side the bed-stuy do with Duffy k all day I'm a ride ever since I knew couldn't help I like dudes that's why since high school only vote with fly dudes I used to blame myself try to change myself thinking back on it now I was playing myself they say when I doubt I have to pay the price that means I got to go through hell twice young hit me shorty roc coming out for me was kind of like a process um I kind of knew what I had those feelings since I was made about four years old that I knew that I on Connor was attracted to dudes and I'm I come from a very big family and a lot of you know thugs and dudes in my family so and I got a certain age they kind of wasn't you know I had to show my manhood a lot and I'm that was how I always wanted to be and I moved around a lot so places where I went I didn't want people to call me a and stuff like that so I kind of like wanted to keep my masculinity but I kind of like knew that something wasn't right you know and I I couldn't get rid of these things y'all ready for this alright so basically i'll try to get in the industry and get a record deal has been one of the hardest things that anybody could imagine now you're just being a hip hop artist for being a female artist and dressing the way we dress we've gotten a lot of nose and a lot of doors slammed in our face I you know what it is psych you it's girl north and the way it can you know you have to luna lounge and I mean out here BK our hometown New York City Williams burn now we do maharba talk away let's go take a shower coming out was pretty crazy for me um I basically came out when I was about 15 um you know to my mother of course but she was the only parent in the household she didn't believe it at first as most people don't even my own friends didn't believe it you know don't look over here you know what about one of our good friends at we both know she didn't believe it she was like oh you just want to be gay cuz everybody's gay you know as a fat I'm like no you know I got feelings for women I always had since I was five from an email when I could remember bikinis in my headband just won't mix and if I let a man you'll be focused on my my double D sick but I just want to spit and you just want to hit your flow state legit so quickly you box me in and label me with colors with a leprechaun been with that pie to go and the story goes that you saw me over there with who not your king her name at your mouth I walk at your house I promise that I leave you alone and you can hate and knock to the beat of the song remember that it is what it is your discovery your long a bone that came out about 14 between 14 and 15 I was a kind of dating this girl not really day and she's like psycho aggressive weirdo we never even did anything but she like mess with my mind and stuff so that's what happened she kind of tried to like break up with me I freaked out I was weirded out but I wasn't I didn't have enough I want to kill myself but I didn't really have the guts to do that so i use it as a way i use it as a way to come out so I kind of faked suicide I took a motrin and I emptied out all mothers prescription pills into the sink and I made her think that I took them all and I was hanging over the toilet and my grandmother came home sick What's Wrong you pregnant I was like no using drugs i was like no and I showed her the note and she was like oh and if she does she so she walked me outside and said you know I love you no matter what she called my mom they my mother flew home for more for business they all SAT me down and they said you know TIFF since you want a blast I mean nobody didn't think you weren't gay I'm Your Mother I've known your whole life you're not fooling anybody and don't you ever dare try to take your life thinking that your family would support you I'll kill you if you ever do that again it came to a point where I was just like you know what I'm gonna be myself and I'm just gonna be me and I told my moms and she kind of was she never really believed it you know and but at the same time I kind of like was living like a double life and I would hang out with my straight friends and stuff and then I would dip off and go hang out with my gay friends go hit the clubs or whatever like that until I got into my first relationship and once I got into my first relationship I would bring them around my family and friends and you know after a while people started catching on people started talking and stuff like that when it really kind of like hit me is when my pops found out and he found he found out cuz he went to my crib and my dude at the time came home and he just was obvious that we were living together and my pops was kind of hurt and stuff like that and he told my mom's about it my mom's told him that if you can't you know except your son and respect your sunday don't you know don't be in his life and on my pops is still in my life that's him right there you know he kind of like it took him some time but he started coming around he never turned his back on me and I'm even now when he found out about my music and stuff like that he's happy for me it's hip-hop you know and that's what it all boils down to from the beach to the hooks to the flows and then a lot of people use hip hop took to express their lives and stuff and then that's the way it come down to my sexuality it's a good thing I don't think people ready for it but is this gonna happen it's gonna be me unless the gay artist has something going on for them some other platform either they're successfully touring and it builds up a fan base they have a television platform like American Idol or have some other way that they are already known and have a jumping-off point it's really really difficult to break any artist let alone a a gay artist where there might be some discomfort in some cases so in the beginning I felt like well maybe we should you know quote sure keep it quiet cuz nobody's gonna accept our music if they know that we LGBT or gay or lesbian so in the beginning I cut our career it was like listen do not call this gay rappers okay I want you to hear the music we put the records out but as you grow up don't forget we've been doing music since with teenagers and the type of person only a teenager until you're maturing turn the dough you start to accept yourself you look in the mirror and I'm happy with who I am so inherently it becomes a part of your music cuz that's a part of who you are even artists who are quoting pro supposed to be straight they're not supposed to tell their sexuality and a lot of times rapids not just rapids by entertainers get dropped because of them expressing who they are and then I think that like for gay artists like myself or anybody else I think it really boils down to um society and the media and the whole entertainment industry thinking that it'll work and that is marketable cuz it's all about money when it really boils down to it the homophobia in the hip-hop industry is really unfortunate and it's almost emblematic of you know some of the negativity whether it's towards women or towards cops or others you know it's a it's the machismo a little bit and you know the mentality of some of the hip-hop community though not all when I don't feel powerful comes from a lot of times when I go to the shows and I don't get the response that I want or it's real hard for me or if I go to a straight show and um they have me on the card and then somebody a rapper gets up there and you know makes a lot of gay comments and stuff and the crowd goes crazy and then they end up not putting me on the show you know so sometimes I go home and I get discouraged and stuff and I'll be wanting to start but once I sit down and write it down and make a song out of it just brings me back to the stage again the bigger picture what they see that is acquaintance to being soft and why they equate a gay man to being solved so that's the bigger social issues when when I think about when I listened to snoop dogg or when I listen to you know say 50 cent throws out you know the fact word was more important to me as to hear what ja Rule said because he actually had intentions of going after the gay community I think that they're frontin and I think that a lot of whom they get down you know and they trying to protect that so they could keep their own you know they start they started working well for them you know but the fact that matter is is that dick probably got a brother that's gay your uncle you know maybe even a sign you know so you know I think it's a farm it's about social awareness everybody in the world no matter you a rapper a priest a doctor you need to know about gay people that it exists that is ok that is not a choice it's so many things I need to be broken down that are not broken down people have the perception everybody judges each other for a different reason or another you know I'm saving when it comes to the gay issues people are gonna go based upon what the media puts out ok the media puts a gay person they got to put the most craziest drag playing on TV the one who got the makeup on but it's not all gay people that's like that cuz probably some of their best friends that don't want tall wit a gay and they just don't know but because such an exclusive industry and is unaccepted is like nobody talks about it I think there's still somewhat of a difference between the obstacles to success for a gay man or a lesbian when you think about the straight male population and even the straight female population are more willing to embrace and you know unfortunately there's that oh wow lesbians are hot two gay men and you know women are are not threatened per se by lesbian women straight women that is so it's been easier potentially for that to happen that industry is hard I can deflate you the industry it's hard um because just because we're happy with ourselves doesn't mean the the suits that are up in in the record labels they're like wait you're not showing enough breast you're not showing enough behind you don't have this song you know so we went through a phase where we were young and Tom boys and oh why are you dressing like that Oh your music is great we had a situation we went to a record label major record label okay and we sat down with them and they were knocking they love the music looked over to us and said said we love this is hot but guess what you're not F abou I'm taking out the expletive okay so he said I can't sign you because I don't want to have sex with you and we were 18 and we were crushed we require rush definitely we were crushed we went home we put on tons of makeup and we did a show that night and we went and we looked in the mirror and we were like we can't do that we have a song called i am basically asked the anthem for anybody in the world who wants to put out the message that I'm me I love me and regardless of what you think or how you feel about that that's too bad for you cuz imma do me regardless you know I'm saying that deliveries are basically talking about I'll struggle what we go through in the game and the things that the industry makes cookie cut like they want a certain look they want a certain way about people and to me that's not art so we basically just challenging people to think past what they see and go deeper this is the anthem so put up your hand son missing I am what I am how have you failed me cause it's if it's real beat listen I am what I am you won't really know what you dealing with hey you don't really know what you dealing with hey you don't really know what you dealing with hey you don't really know what you dealing with you why err what I am thank you for watching in the life to learn more about the issues and tonight's stories and how they affect you visit our website at in the life TV org you can also watch extended interviews sign up for monthly airdate alerts and download past episodes 24-7 I got a spam can from Denmark baby doll leg okay but somebody was probably really looking for in the life is funded in part by the H man a meringue and foundation arcus foundation the estate of richard w island and by the annual support of in the life members like you you