In the Life: Ep. 1412, "524,000 and Counting"

this month on in the [Music] life 524,000 and Counting they want every gay person in the world to disappear high anxiety if you associate sex and Crystal math nine times out of 10 you're not even going to think about a condom and able youth when you don't feel stable it's like you can't function in the world all this and more on America's Gay and Lesbian News Magazine in the life in the life is funded in part by the hvan amaran foundation additional support provided by the Ford Foundation and these funders and the annual support of in the Life members like you [Music] [Applause] [Music] welcome to in the life I'm Sharon GL in March 1983 the headline of Manhattan gay newspaper read 1,112 and Counting sounding an alarm to the gay community about the number of people who had already fallen victim to AIDS in the United States in the first two years of the epidemic we are embarking on the 25th year of AIDS in America the number of lives lost is now reaching over half a million people tonight we explore just how far we've come in the war against AIDS bringing our dead to your door we won't take it anymore bringing our dead to your we won't take it anymore we're still talking about a deadly incurable sexually transmissible disease but most Americans think it's no longer a problem being crystal clear I began using crystal meth and July of 2002 that was the first night I bear backs in a group scene and LGBT kids having sex to survive if I had to walk in the middle of the street with a g-ring and a bra on just to make money I would not I could not come back unless I had money in the early 1980s a deadly disease surfaced in the United States quickly and mysteriously killing gay men it began what many referred to as the plague years in the beginning there was a sense of urgency behind the safe sex campaign but now 25 years later the perception of Crisis is passed growing numbers of gay men no longer feel compelled to practice safe sex despite alarming statistics after many years of decline the number of new HIV cases among gay men has increased every year between 2000 and 2003 are the current approaches by the government confronting this reality tonight an in-depth look at the state of AIDS [Music] New York City is the epicenter of the HIV AIDS epidemic in the United States the epidemic really started here 25 years ago today we have the most mature HIV epidemic in this country and perhaps in the Western World before people knew exactly what it was people were getting sick they were numbered um of this is case number one case number two and I happen to have a friend who happened to be case number 78 James Neil Jerry John at that point there was no a none of the drugs that were around now the lesions were very uh visible on a lot of people you avoided them you treated uh it they were like lepers you didn't know whether you would catch the disease at early on by touching them or being close to them so people avoided them I avoided them arrested immediately with no warant Larry Kramer refers to it often that we were fighting a war and nobody knew there was a war on it's beyond tragic equally tragic is that nobody reports it as this kind of a war that is lost what happened around the early days of AIDS is that the people who would were leaders or would be leaders were too busy taking care of people who were sick and dying and what ended up happening was sometime in the late ' 8s early 90s that there were a lot of young people around who weren't as affected by HIV um and there was no Community for them to join to because everybody was too busy taking care of dying people people didn't know about how contagious the disease really was or not you know at that point so there was a great fear there were a lot of Candlelight vigils and marches and demonstrations those I went to and they were very sad because there you are walking trying to help people and knowing that all these people are dying take it any to your we won it anymore BR take it any the government's apathy in the face of the fast developing AIDS crisis angered and galvanized the gay community outspoken radical groups such as act up aggressively challenged the inaction of the government and the medical establishment to [Applause] right that was one of the reasons for actop the government wasn't doing anything there was a great denial from the White House that was the Reagan Administration uh and that's again why organizations like gmhc originally started because there was no help and they had to create their own help when we started gmhc people came to us and said I can do this is it any use I'm a lawyer can I help people with Wills I'm a social worker can I help with patients that's how GMA started it became an a glomeration of people coming to us we had a little someone gave us free office space and somebody said says let's put out a newsletter and we wrote little articles it was people it was Mickey and Judy putting on a show and quite frankly that's all act up ever was we must act up fight back fight AIDS there was great arrogance I think in the medical community in the late 60s 7s and early 80s thinking that we had conquered most infectious diseases or would very shortly uh and I think we got our come up and in several different ways you know HIV is one of them in fact had to deal with an Administration uh under Ronald Reagan um who um ignored it for a long time until some of his wife's gay friends you know got on her and she got on him and that took a long time so when I watch all these younger people talking about what a great President Ronald Reagan was and you know these kids weren't even born when he was president president and we remember what it was like to be ignored uh as as literally thousands of G men were sick and [Music] dying 25 years into the epidemic there still is a fair amount of secrecy and shame the stigma associated with HIV and AIDS I think is still very much present and it has a direct effect on people's behavior in New New York um we've had a cumulative total of 990,000 folks who are diagnosed with HIV and we think that about 20,000 more people are infected but don't know it and obviously that's of great concern to us because most of them are practicing risky behaviors because they're infected um it's likely that they will continue to practice risky behaviors but they aren't aware that they're positive and potentially spreading virus part of what's happening is that America in general is bored with with AIDS which is unfortunate we're still talking about a deadly incurable sexually transmissible disease but most Americans think it's no longer a problem the message that's gotten out of there is we've fixed it we've cured it and that's the message that's out in the general population it's all taken care of right I hear that from straight people I run to all the time and and gay people who don't live within um the community that's most affected it's done it's fixed right the fact is is that people are living longer they're not dying shortly after diagnosis we have a pretty good arsenal of medicines that people are taking now to keep themselves healthy on HIV the problem is is that it with a ever expanding pool of of people who are positive it sometimes tends to confound our prevention efforts and that we have all these folks who are feeling good again they're getting back and living their lives which we absolutely want them to do and but we want them to stay safe too there's less of a prevention message out there than ever before 15 years ago you couldn't go in a gay bar without that big bowl of condoms right in the Foy right up at the front and safe sex posters someone couldn't run a gay establishment without not just paying some minor lip service or some wall space to a prevention message there are certain restrictions put on our funding by the United States Congress one of them which specifically says that federal funds cannot be used to directly promote sexual activity whether that's homosexual or heterosexual we will double Federal funding for absence programs so SK schools can teach this fact of life abstinence for young people is the only certain way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases in 200 before President Bush in response to the AIDS epidemic called for an emphasis on abstinence only education and double the funding for abstinence only programs many experts believe this approach misses the mark and fails to realistically confront the prevention issue there's nothing wrong with absence that should be part of the menu of choices that are available to people but to tell adults who have their own lives and and have their own needs and desires is that they they shouldn't have sex anymore doesn't really resonate with me many millions of dollars um have been uh moved to absence only programs groups that have no track record and don't know how to deliver care are getting money when groups that have a track record and do know how to deliver care but won't give this um false scientifically invalid uh absence only message um they get defunded abstinence probably works very well for a handful of people but to fund any program where that is the only acceptable message or even the central message of the program that's not just Draconian that's cruel and that's going to result in deaths we've had the Bush Administration taking off government paid Public Health websites information about condoms as a way to stop sexually transmitted diseases or un intended pregnancy because the religious right would rather just talk about sexual abstinence uh what is abstinence only education it is based on fear this Administration I think believes that the only way you can stop people from getting infected with HIV is to create fear it's almost as if hiding our heads in the sand would be a better thing to do than to try to understand what's going on and to and to help people stop the transmission of a disease that in in many cases can be deadly there is a burnout with um with uh prevention messages and I think you know I've used the example before of having watched um um people during the bombings in um Yugoslavia you know in in Kosovo and I'm seeing a picture after four or five days of these women who were running out to buy bread in the middle of all these bombs going off and you know you realize that in the middle of a war eventually you get acclimated to the terror um and you have to go on with your life and I think that people have done that with HIV and they have a tremendous amount of denial I think there is a sympathy and anger that the younger generation because they haven't seen or witnessed the actual disease at its maximum being careless being in denial well if I get it I can get drugs and uh not have to worry about it and that's not true it's not easy taking these pills and it's not easy watching after your health it's not so rosy as you may think it is we fought so hard and so many people died in vain so that we could get these drugs and to be and for everybody to go back and lead the same kind of life we LED before is is incomprehensible to me I'm not sure if the worst is behind us I I hope so I'm a little bit cautious at present to be too optimistic about that this thing between your legs is a Lethal Weapon if you are e HIV positive it can murder other people you are walking around with a pistol with a gun and we have to realize that I didn't like or want to use condoms but if I want wanted to have sex I knew I had to because that's the only way uh I could protect myself fortunately I think it may have saved my life if you give a clear focused message use a condom for intercourse every time and that's it that's your message that's what you say you decrease HIV infections by you know 99% and we'll deal with the rest A Dangerous Drug is sweeping the country spreading quickly into large cities small towns and rural areas infiltrating all segments of society the culprit is methampetamine known as crystal meth it's cheap easily accessible and extremely addictive its use in the gay community is particularly alarming because it dramatically increases the risk of Contracting HIV tonight we hear the chilling stories of four men who intimately know the highs and heartaches of crystal meth I start on Thursday night and you know go to work high on Friday Monday Sun Saturday Sunday maybe high on Monday maybe high on Tuesday maybe crashing on Tuesday maybe sleeping through work s Sunday Monday and Tuesday I had no idea this was out here for me no idea the the worst thing I heard about Crystal was that it was you know it's a nasty drug and it's bad bad and it's no know it's it's it's for the Bad Boys you know and I'm like oo you know I want to be bad my dad literally you know tried to beat the homosexuality out of me for many years as a young kid kid and you have all these people around you telling you that who you are can be changed or it needs to be corrected and this really starts giving you I think a warped idea of of your worth so you go into a community which you think is going to be very welcoming but you go into it and you realize that your hair isn't right your body doesn't look the way it's supposed to look you don't hang out with the right people you're not going to the right clubs and you feel really lost so you latch on to anything that gives you some sort of [Music] worth and people there are you know doing drugs and you kind of think that you know you maybe you have to do it as well to have [Music] fun oh you felt so powerful you know you just you just you instantly feel good about yourself you know you felt confident and everything was hot you know and and um oh it's great it's a fabulous drug I mean you you feel you know great and no matter how depressed you are or how miserable you are or how ugly the guys you are are with or how depressing your situation is you'll feel good by default makes you feel Invincible makes you feel like you're on top of the world makes you feel all of your inhibitions are Stripped Away you're just numb to all the pain anything that's bugging you any insecurity that all just is washed away I never did just one hit I would start off with two hits I always did a lot more than most people would do put it in front of me and give me a shovel Crystal also known as crystal methamphetamine is a psycho stimulant it's speed some of the street names for it are um crank uh redneck cocaine it's called redneck cocaine because it's cheap it's a really good drug if you don't have a lot of money for $40 you can be high for 3 Days everybody would get all wound up get all you know all TW weak to then go to these sex clubs and I can remember going with a friend of mine who'd never been there before and was feeling really uncomfortable and I just thought this was perfectly normal and these parties would go on all night most of the next day and could you know could go on for a couple of days Crystal also makes somebody very very very very horny and so one partner two partners three Partners four Partners is not enough sex needs to be constant and endless it's hot everything the possibilities are endless and you look around and you're hungry for it and you want that guy and you like sex sex then you're on to the next person sex sex you want the best experience possible and and you're forever chasing that with crystal methamphetamine it causes a huge increase um in dopamine levels much much um more than cocaine Crystal affects the brain it affects the release of a neurotransmitter called dopamine this is a pleasure neurotransmitter so it makes users feel on top of the world because so much dopamine is being released in their brain it has a big affinity for brain tissue um as opposed to cocaine so it really tends to penetrate deep into the nervous system somebody's high on crystal meth they don't feel lonely they don't feel depressed they feel like they're the most beautiful most hot most amazing thing in the world so when somebody starting to come down from the high somebody who's depressed to begin with that depression and those feelings of Lon is get exacerbated what's the quick and easy approach the quick and easy approach is to do more Crystal and so that's how the cycle begins I went to a club and I had mixed Crystal with uh with GHB I was dancing with this really beautiful gorgeous gorgeous Latin boy and um and all of a sudden I just remember feeling like the entire world had fallen can't exactly explain it's like the roof fell on top of me me and so I fell down with it my friends saw that and of course you don't want to make a scene in front of everyone so they dragged me out of the club and then when they finally brought me into my friend's apartment that's when they told me that I'd stopped breathing they just punched my chest a bunch of times and then eventually I started breathing again and they were just looking me like are you okay and then the next sent I out there's yeah I'm fine I'm like give me a bum I need to wake up after doing this you know over and over for a period of time the crash you get from crystal meth is I mean just unbelievable it just it's just like being thrown down into this black hole after you're way up in Oz [Music] I had started to see shadow people around me I had started to have horrible nightmares at night I had started to have my nightmares during the day when my eyes would be open I wouldn't even have to be sleeping I started seeing images of me killing other people slashing their throats I couldn't sleep anymore because I was too scared to sleep um I didn't want to stay awake because I'd hear more voices I would trash the house I would just be completely irrational I had met somebody crystal meth broke up the relationship I didn't want it to break up I knew it was coming I knew it was going to be said to me that it was over and he said it that day I left the house I went right to get Crystal I went right to the bath house and I was there for 2 days [Music] if you associate sex and Crystal math nine times out of 10 you're not even going to think about a condom pretty much by the time 12: or 1:00 a.m. passes by basically as you go into the hours of morning people are all on Crystal and for the most part all bear backing what are you doing you know I'm I'm negative and everyone around everyone in in the club at the time was it was just a very dumb thing very awkward cuz it's like hello welcome to the club you know we're all positive pretty much you know it's like catcher call you know there's no lifeguard on nudy and um I just realized I just was playing the odds game I was really fooling myself after I was did this risky behavior and I got clean and sober for a period of time I went and was tested and I just remember remember praying God I please don't let me be positive when I were going to get my HIV test I was absolutely just completely and totally scared because I did not use condoms one single time and I had nothing but unprotected sex um it used to be that we just had the condom code that's what was the first prevention message use a condom every time we've gotten more sophisticated about that now and knowing that we need to tailor prevention messages to specific communities um but still um with Crystal now uh we Face A new challenge in H hi prevention specifically uh because uh Crystal and HIV go together there is a direct immunological effect of crystal methamphetamine on the immune system you actually couple this with that intense change in behavior and hypersexuality and unsafe sex and it's just makes it so ripe and that's why I think we see such efficiency of transmission well the test came back I was positive that whole weekend I just you know did Coke drank all I cared about was escaping and doing my drug do you have a higher chance of just doing any kind of risky behavior in general if you're on crystal um you know um I myself did that all the time um I still to this day have no idea how I stayed negative I really don't within two months after going to a sex club for quite a few times I know I was infected with HIV just just within two months you know all these lines I'd made for myself you know were instantly crossed we're talking about a specific subset of gay men not every gay man in the United States is using Crystal not every gay man in the United States is having anonymous sex not every gay man in the United States is going online and cruising uh cruising for sex with with people he doesn't know but there is a subset of men who are so when you look at a group of people who's been stigmatized in our culture and then you add on 25 years of the AIDS crisis that's a powerful burden and Crystal kind of wipes all those concerns away all of our young gay men or even not so young gay men that are actually recently infected with HIV in almost all of our cases it has been attributable to Crystal methan foming so you know if that isn't an epidemic I don't really know what is I was introduced to the interven aspect of it four five injections a day I lost my job was back in February of 2005 things sort of spiraled downward ever since you know I called my mom to tell her why I defaulted on student loone and uh she was like just I don't talk to her about this she's very mad that I'm gay and she's I told her about I told her that I was an addict two years ago and she was like oh you're hurting me with that you're hurting me and and uh I I called her two days ago and told her and she's like so are using the drugs you know which is very weird for her to hear her say you know and I say she she says I'll take that as a yes and she goes you're so much smarter than this it's true but is it today is day 47 of my recovery it is been a long 47 days here I sit telling this story what from not only the perspective of you know the recent history in 2005 but this is the second time I've done this and I I looked at my family and I said I am I I won't make it a third time I can't do this again I you know I'm I'm facing rebuilding my whole life again now so what do I want down the road for me my sense of self back my sense of normality back [Music] [Music] [Music] you are about to meet some young people who rarely make an appearance on TV they're the homeless LGBT youth leading precarious lives on the streets of New York and La there are almost 1 million homeless teens in America almost half are from the LGBT community many have been thrown out of their own homes or escaped abusive foster homes they often enter a world of survival sex as they struggle to make a living but it is there on the streets where 20,000 young people under 21 are infected with HIV each year [Music] my mother's very religious so she don't believe in gaym and the whole Gay Roll and it's just wrong so she kicked me out of her house and I had no place to go so I was just staying from place to place which is either my ex-girlfriend's house or different other houses and um I would like sometimes just starve and stuff it was real hard a lot of things happen on the streets uh these young people face a lot of high-risk behaviors you know they have to to survive that's first and foremost and in order to survive um there's a lot of things they might do and one of those things would be survival sex I see a lot of kids going to to get money and to where they stay a lot is um it's called the stroll it's a place in the village where a lot of kids go prostitute themselves so they can get money to for food to eat or a place to stay this is our mobile unit and we're on our way and we're on Christopher Street and it's busy it's definitely busy tonight but we're ready to start delivering services so we're going to start looking for parking and it's definitely going to be one of them nights a lot of them are out there just you know being out there and doing different kinds of jobs and then they wind up um selling their themselves and so what that means is that hot provides them a way of keeping their health healthy provides them with condom safety information and other agencies that will help them all right have fun now I'm just heading down to the pier um basically what's in the bag is just condoms and lubrication I mean it should be a way for people to help help him self prevent against HIV AIDS and all the other STDs but these kids don't care as long as it's flavored and lubricated it's like candy to them so that's what I'm basically handing out candy I'm just giving condoms girl huh missing T some condoms it's lubrication and stuff like that told told say hi yeah [Music] count can yeah you can take as much as you like sure oh this one's cute peach peach you know it tastes delicious too I don't know if it tastes wow look you have banana you have cool Min and I have caramel cream and watermelon and all this other stuff wow would y'all like some condoms and lubrication oh yes condoms condom so silly let me see hold on lubrication and a party look we got free party from when I came out I mean the kids out here just got younger and younger they're starting at ages 11 just coming down here so I mean each year I think it gets the age range gets lower and [Music] lower actually a lot of my friends I know that they were positive they may have become um HIV positive because of of all the things that they went through like as far as being in the streets and when you hungry you do anything to eat even when I'm in the street with this mobile unit and they may be HIV positive and homeless it's not their priority their priority is to eat their priority is to take a shower priority is to just connect it's not a priority for them what we think is a priority to [Music] them there is also the NeverEnding stream of runaway who come to Hollywood each year quickly they enter the worlds of prostitution pornography and substance abuse and typically these young people do not expect or seek out Health [Music] Care well living at home was hard though because um my dad was a drug law and my mama got killed when I was young I came from the foster care system this guy came up to me he was like hey you want to come to LA with me and I was like yeah and we was going to come down here for like La Pride so I was like I want to come so I did it and I I didn't have no remarks I just did it cuz I just wanted to see I wanted to like see the world I wanted to become an actress who brought me to California as a saw opportunity I'm one of uh what you would call God's Unique Individuals interex I got in a fight with my mom so I left and she says I can't come back to learn responsibility I ran away from home early on because um the gate you know the whole gate HIV issue my mother was a little bit afraid of those things so I went ahe and left and I experienced all those things out here the kids know that I'm coming with a pizza they they they expect that that that I bring them pizza and soap and a toothbrush and a comb in a Hing kid and I always come here at least three times a week this is the something that I do uh three times a week yeah at 3:00 to this stop that there is a bus this yellow school bus type of thing that picks them up and takes them to the shelter far away otherwise they will stay sleeping you know here and the the worst thing about it is that if if they stay they going to get prayed on for sex and they can get HIV and other things and in in that day why day can be a disastrous day for them because that might be the day that they can get HIV so if even if it is two days out of the week that they are not staying here to be prayed on that makes a difference in the long run Pizza hyene kids I'm going to be around here too tomorrow so same time okay I want they're going to go to a shelter right now with those older people some of them you know they can take advantage of them they could have been a lot of them could have been 16 17 15 and and and and that's why issues happen I'm going meet you tomorrow okay round one at Center yeah meet me around around tomorrow at the same time okay I've known him for at least a year um they always get the same stuff I cannot push them to get um help or to make that change but when they read they'll let you know because we already have that report and if if he's willing to do that tomorrow I will be there for [Music] him first day I got here I just got a bite to eat walked around aimlessly for about a week but I never got involved because I was so scared of the area of downtown I was like I got to get out of here right when I got here with the guy you know we was hanging out together we went to Pride and I was looking for him and out of nowhere he just disappeared so I was like I really stuck but at that same time I was like pretty much like well that's the part about living on the streets you know people tell you they're going to do this for you but they'll disappear you know after they get what they want from you I left home when I was 14 years old you have to learn Street smarts very quickly if you don't you're not going to survive out here and these centers and stuff like that are only open a few hours a day there's a lot of people out there who are going going to take advantage of someone even if it's for a night if anybody has an addiction on this Boulevard I swear $10 will get you whoever you want it I'll be walking with them and I totally see the the cars pulling over and just making passes at them and I just I I canot say anything you know I just just H them out whatever they need obviously uh you know condoms so on and so forth and um and I go ahead and do my business and they they do their business too and I will see in the next day until they're ready to make that change and to get help we would like pretty much like go hang in front of the peral shops people look at us and then we'll be like if they give us the look then we like okay it's okay and then we just go somewhere and then you know we get money you know how old were you I was 14 it's almost like you're forced in forced into making money for someone else and you're not getting a profit out of it meaning whenever you're on call basically like if you were the gorilla pimp basically I would have to do whatever you told me to do to make that money meaning if I had to walk in the middle of the street with a g- string and a bra on with a full beard just to make money I would not I could not come back unless I had money they deserve better because this country do have a lot to offer and it's not reaching them and that's that's something that I see that that I don't have the answer for it but it's a problem that we have and then and I I I don't know how to fix it but we got to come up with options for them someone got me drunk really really drunk and raped me and sent me right up under this used to be a bank right here on orange Mansfield it is there used to be a little gate there I was laying there in my own urine and vomit and wet clothes and it was rainy there was nothing I can do about it that's when I knew I needed help you know it's a no- win situation for them it's kind of they have to choose between which exploitation they'd like better uh and most of them feel that if they're going to be exploited or abused uh that they'd rather be out on the streets where at least there are no roles I got gay badged by my neighbors they started throwing rocks and then they started chasing us and we just ran and and then um well I call the cop I call the cops they came but they couldn't do anything they didn't do anything the transgender kids um have it have it much worse because uh their options are are fewer they easy prey for law enforcement um they easy prey for people who just you know want to beat up someone to have a good time you know that your regular shall we say you know gay and lesbian kids can kind of pass you can't really tell most of the time they're gay or lesbian so then they're just your regular Street kid they're pred toist harassment but the transgender kids just stand out um and what happens with them is that their options are so limited that a life of prostitution until they're no longer of appealing age is is pretty much all they they can [Music] do some salad that's St salmon spaghetti um I don't know what it this but looks like and that's it we're all set to get it out yes I will be there I told you already that I'm going to be there don't worry yes yes I was going to say don't call me he already called me three times if I'm going to bring him the bus tokens and and and some food but I understand you know that's that they looking forward to that [Music] so I'm sending him to a shelter right now and they're telling me that they've been to that shelter already and they can they cannot go there because they don't have ID they're undocumented he's going to be sleeping on the freeway tonight he's that's where he's been sleeping for the last week and same case with the with with this other one they don't have ID the shelters won't take him and they're young he's only 19 he's been on the street for two years why because of the idea that they don't have I find that to be really hard and stressful because my hands are tight they are I can only do so much I wish I could make him an IDE did right now so he can doesn't have to be sleeping on the street but I can't it's it's it's really painful it's it's really it really is if they have a medical necessity I stem them to the mobile unit where they can get HIV tested they can get cilis tested gunara clam media and other SS that are very very very very common among this population of Youth in Downtown LA I'm going on 3 years having HIV right now and it's been it's been hard out of 100 people 9 998 probably have it and maybe 50 of them don't even know they have it so they just keep infecting each other I mean we're hurting each other that's all we know and I would never want to do that to someone else because I would never want someone have to tell their mother the way I told mine you I cried my mother didn't cry I cried they're hungry and they need clothing and they need a place to go to sleep and they need their money and they if you're if anybody's in that position anybody will do anything to survive yeah yeah when I get when I get here in La I was you know telling God why you know why I be like right here I think was better in my country but it's like I was you know sleeping in the street you know everybody looking at you and say I was young you know and it's kind of hard to remember either too cuz I don't want to remember all that yeah I used to go to the buer king when I when I don't have nothing to eat so just drink soda you know the machine that outside I just get a cup from from the trash can and get soda that that's the only thing that I ate if you could see yourself in 5 years where would you like to to finish school um I'm interested in education um and Human Services I want to go back to Texas yeah trained to go to college to EAS College kind of more like an artistic future to study music which is my passion I want to do my own clothing line which you know I do stuff like this the pants pink what I dream of I dream I'm sorry this may seem like a short thing but I dream of just you know waking up healthy tomorrow seriously that's that's the best dream I could possibly have waking up healthy you know still knowing that I still have those 10 friends maybe out of all the hundreds I've met over the years you [Music] know in this month's real toore in the life goes behind the scenes of the Haitian documentary of men and gods this provocative film explores the nature of homosexuality within the context of voodoo under the shadow of [Music] AIDS filmmakers an Leo and mag have made a remarkable film about homosexuality and the religion of voodoo in Haiti [Music] [Applause] fore [Music] [Applause] fore for foree spee the voodoo religion is pervasive in Haitian Society providing a Haven for gay and transgendered people who serve the goddess Uli as it is she's the goddess of love first the love of feminity of sexuality of um reproduction she's about love all about [Music] love for [Music] [Music] Fritz this guy that in the film is doesn't look gay he just talked to us very openly the first time we saw him and he agreed right away to be filmed and when the film was released in Haiti people found out then that he was gay and they had lot of problems again because they don't accept gays in Haiti homosexuality [Music] accept [Music] [Music] in Voodoo ceremonies a lower will possess a person who will then assume the gender of that lower no [Music] [Music] the personality of the spirits comes to you [Music] [Applause] they love because when comes they become more even more women than than [Music] women Voodoo proves to be more open in Haitian Society in general especially when it comes to HIV and AIDS [Music] for [Music] [Laughter] [Music] when the FM was finished they start dying one by one blondine died I really like d and I had time to to show him the film on his bed like really dying but he saw the film anyway so I'm very glad that he saw it before he died then Fritz died this really was very bad for me when F because F was a good man but he never went to have a test and he just died of [Music] a it's a poor country with so much problems you have to turn to something to get a hold on life and their Joy is is their friends and their families and their their was their [Music] faith I'm Sharon GL from all of us at in the Life thanks for watching and we'll see you next month [Music] in the life is funded in part by the H vanan amaran Foundation Foundation additional support provided by the Ford [Music] foundation and these funders and the annual support of in the Life members like [Music] you for