I'll Fix Anthony (1991)

No, >> I'm going to flower you. >> [music] [music] [music] [music] >> My brother Anthony can read books now, but he won't read any books to me. Will you please read me a book? >> Go away, pest. >> He plays checkers with Bruce from his school. >> Can I play? No, >> you're too small to play. >> No, I'm not. >> Please. >> Get out of here. I'LL SQUIRT YOU. >> NO. NO. >> I let him wear my Snoopy t-shirt, but he never lets me play with his sword. >> Can I play with your sword? >> No. >> Mother says, >> "Oh, you know, dear, deep down in his heart, Anthony loves you." Anthony from deep down in his heart says >> you stink. >> Mother says >> deep deep down in his heart where he doesn't even know it. Anthony loves you. >> Anthony from deep deep down in his heart says >> you stink. You really really stink. >> When I'm six I'll fix Anthony. When I'm six, we'll have a jumping contest and I'll jump higher. Then we'll have a race and I'll win. Next time I'll give him a head start [music] and I'll still win. When I'm six, I'll be able to float. No. But Anthony will sink. I'll jump off the high dive. But Anthony will be afraid to go off the low board. When I'm six, a dog will follow me home. And he'll let me pet him. And he'll bow for me. And he'll shake hands with me. If Anthony tries to pet him. Nice doggy. Nice. Nice doggy. He'll bark at him. >> When I am sixth, Anthony will have the German measles. and my father will take me to a baseball game. [cheering] Then Anthony will have the MS. >> Oh, what a big boy. >> And my mother will take me to the park. >> Whoa. >> And then Anthony will have a virus. and grandpa will take me to the movies. I might save Anthony some of my popcorn, but I might not. When I'm six, I'll let Dr. Ros down my throat with a stick. If he has to give me a shot, I won't even holler. What a brave, brave boy. And now it's your brother's turn. >> But Anthony won't be brave. >> Now come on now. Be brave like your brother was. Stop it now. Stop. Anthony. Anthony. >> When I am six, I'll read the newspapers. >> Who are you voting for, Anthony? >> Voting? >> Anthony, I really don't think he know what's going on in the world. But Anthony will still be reading his ABCs. >> P. When I'm six, I'll add four and seven and 10 and three inside my head. But Anthony will just add one and one and two and he'll have to use his fingers. >> Why is it two? One and one. >> When I'm six, I'll stand on my head and my legs will hardly wobble at all. But Anony's legs will wobble a lot. If someone tickles me, I'll keep standing on my head. Gucci goo. I'm going to get you. If someone pinches me, I'll keep standing on my head. And if someone says >> give up clover you >> I'll keep standing on my head. [crying] >> But Anthony will give up tickles. NO. [screaming] >> When I'm 6, I'll be able to tell time. >> 10:48 a.m. But Anthony will be all mixed up. 9:30 12 10 a.m. When I'm six, I'll be able to find my way around my street and my city and my country and the whole world. But Anthony will be all mixed up. If he ever gets lost, I guess I'll have to go and find him. This way home, Anthony. I'll beat him at all the video games. >> Oh, no. Fair. >> Rotten luck, Anthony. >> Let's go again. I'll win all the tic tac toes if I'm X and I'll win them all if I'm O. Too bad, Anthony. [snorts] When I'm six, friends will call me on the telephone. >> Yeah, I can come over and spend the night. Okay, I'll get my stuff. >> Bye. But no one will call Anthony. >> See you later, Anthony. Yeah, see you later. When I'm six, my teeth will fall out. [music] I'll put them under my pillow and the tooth fairy will take them away and leave two quarters. But Anony's teeth won't fall out. He'll wiggle them and wiggle them, but they still won't fall out. I might sew one of my teeth, but I might not. When I'm six, I'll help carry the groceries from the market. >> Here, Mom. I'll take those. >> Oh my. You're so strong, Nicola. But Anthony won't be strong enough. >> Anthony, >> when I'm six, I'll be tall and Anthony will be short cuz I'll eat things like carrots and broccoli. But he'll eat things like jelly beans and root beer. [snorts] I'll be so tall. I'll put his red sneakers on the top shelf. >> Get my sneakers down. >> Say please first. And if he doesn't say please, he can't have his sneakers for a hundred years. >> Get out of here. My friends are COMING OVER. GET OUT. NO, YOU STINK. >> I got to run now. I'M GOING TO CLAW YOU, BUT I WON'T HAVE TO RUN WHEN I'M SICK. JUST WAIT. I'm going to get you. When I'm six, I'll fix Anthony. [music] >> [music]