Hodja Shares His Yoghurt (1950s)

[Music] I am the storyteller. I tell my stories here. Let the coffee shop be full of friends listening to my story. May they be free from sorrow. [Music] My friends, I would tell you a story I choose to call the hoja shares his yogurt. Look, look there. Here comes the hoja astride, his most noble donkey. [Music] The Hoja shares part of his day, six days of each week with his friends here, here in this coffee shop. See there is the hoja. Now [Music] That man, the one offering unwanted advice to the back gammon players is Hammed. Hammed has many strange ideas, but more about him later. [Music] This is Yuf, one of the Hocha's dearest friends. And this is Kasim, another dear friend of the [Music] Hoas. Ysef opens the conversation. You're a bit late today, Ha. Was your dunkey uncooperative? Indeed, he was, replied the Hoja. As a matter of fact, my dunkey has been so lazy, so stubborn, and so foolish lately that only this morning I decided to sell him at public auction. Naturally, I reached this decision after a great deal of deliberation. Then, too, my wife has been complaining about the beast, and well, you know how persistently a wife can nag. So, I had no other choice than to auction off my dummy. [Music] Men of Ara here, I give you my solemn oath that never, Mark you, never have I had the privilege of offering such an energetic dunkey at public auction. Look at this noble beast. Observe this spotless coat. What am I offered for this most obedient, this most sublime of all animals? Who will start the bidding on the finest dunkey in Akahir? Nay, the finest dunkey in all the world. 50 gush. You dare but bid 50 gush for that splendid [Music] animal. Two la. Three L. Five L. Seven L. [Music] Eight [Music] LRA. Nine L. 10 L. 10 L. Do I hear 11? Are you all through bidding? All right. 10 L once, 10 L twice. Sold. Sold to a hoa for 10 L. I knew that now my dungeon had learned his lesson, and never again would he give me [Music] [Laughter] [Music] trouble. So, Hoja, you brought back your own dunkey. That's the funniest story I ever heard. [Music] Laugh. Go ahead and laugh. But I, Hamid, failed to see the humor. You, Ysef, and you, Kasim, and Aoja, too, all have dunies. But what of me? I have none. Is that fair? You have and I have not. Now under my great plan, all would share and share alike. My friend, when two people have a common purse, one sings and the other weeps. Words, words, empty words. That's your trouble. Empty words and no action. This is a time for action. This is the time for my big plan. Now is the time to strike. Amid, my poor, misguided friend, remember that only those with patience will be rewarded. Why do you keep erading the real issue? Why? I'll tell you why. Because you cannot disprove that everyone should share everything. If you will allow me, my friend, I believe I can. Come sit here beside me. [Music] I would like one large bowl of yogurt and oh yes, two spoons, [Music] please. Who is going to pay for the yogurt? I shall pay myself. Yet both you and I shall share the yogurt. I would put your theory to a [Music] test. This side of the line is yours. The other is mine. Just a moment, please. Olive oil. That's revolting. Who ever heard of putting olive oil on yogurt? [Music] My friend, I happen to like olive oil with my yogurt. Besides, I've only poured it into my side of the bowl, but it seeped through to my side. Then, Hammed, perhaps now you will understand why some things by their very nature must always be private. [Music] If all the sky were paper and all the trees pens and all the waters of the earth ink, they would not suffice to record the wisdom of our [Music] hocha. Now that I have told my story, I too must go. For there are many coffee houses in the many cities and villages where I would tell this story. And my friends, perhaps in the not too distant future, I will again stop by this coffee house with yet another story about the hon. Until then, may your days be free from sorrow, may your friends be countless, and may peace be with you. [Music]