High Cost of Letting Go

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] so [Applause] [Music] [Applause] how's it going don good almost a week's work but i think it was worth it well tell me about it well it was that that bad accident on townsend road that got me started one monday what was the name miller that was a bad one almost every fatal crash has a reason that's what got me when i was out there covering the story that day the only clue i got was maybe this sounds silly was that the there'd been some kind of upset in the miller family earlier that day some little thing went wrong that's all i had to go on at first [Music] i decided to start with the funeral on my way over to the church i happened to pass the townsend road intersection [Music] there certainly weren't any answers to be found there the wreckage had long since been taken away even the skid marks were gone now i had made sure the flag man was on duty at the time the road had been dry the weather cleared everyone who'd been in the vicinity had told his story and there was nothing in any of it to explain why [Music] the lord giveth and the lord taketh away blessed be the name of the lord amen in the church i was thinking that every driver on every road is absolutely sure this could never happen to him but it does happen and in a case like this you wonder why why there had to be a reason a cause maybe somewhere among the friends of the miller family i could find the answer [Music] i kept going back in my mind to the miller family as it was before the tragedy first there was mike miller age 52 a railroad man for over 20 years foremen of an engine crew in his spare time he loved to go fishing especially for trout [Music] had a camper trailer that was his pride and joy he and the family went up in the hills every chance they got then there was mike's daughter katie age 12 junior high school [Music] [Applause] a bright girl and a pretty one as the boys at school were beginning to notice there was ethel miller mike's wife she ran the house and the garden and a couple of women's clubs in her spare time finally there was bud he was 22 studying to be a veterinarian at college he was paying part of his own way at school by driving a delivery truck for rand brothers after school every day an average family a good family the kind you want to have for friends the kind for whom you wish somehow the clock could have been stopped that morning with everything held just the way it was just the way it was but there wasn't a clue that something was coming coming out of the blue on the wings of small events that in themselves were just nothing at all i had the names of everyone who'd been in contact with the millers that fateful day the first one was a highway patrolman named dell officer kuhn don patterson valley times won't you sit down thank you yes 8 17 a.m on highway 19. can you remember exactly what happened well i was on routine patrol on highway 19 and i clocked him at 62 miles an hour in a 50 mile zone over near the railroad yards i had a pretty good idea this man was a railroader maybe a little bit late for work that morning i've been giving a lot of warnings along this part of the highway lately and i figured maybe it was about time to stop warning and start writing tickets i remember he growled a little something about driving a stretch of road every day for five years and never getting a ticket before [Music] but i kept on writing miller complained a little bitty oh yeah most people do but he wasn't really angry no a little peeved himself perhaps but he knew he was in the wrong so he just took the ticket and went on his way that's right that's all there was to it [Music] the next one on my list was andy kimball he was bud miller's classmate at the school of veterinary medicine he'd been with bud that monday morning if there'd been anything unusual he'd know [Music] [Applause] andy don patterson valley times um i'm trying to find some reason some cause for what happened monday will you help just one of those one of those things i guess wasn't it maybe what did you and bud miller talk about that morning do you recall sure i remember we were talking about going to cornell a week from today cornell university back east they're holding a national conference of scientists in our field i see well they're picking the top students from some of the western universities to go and they told budding me monday morning that we've been picked we've never been east either of us it's going to be a great trip so you didn't know until after you got to school that monday morning that you were going oh we've been hoping all along but we didn't get the word until monday so you and but then we're all set to go for sure all we needed was some money for two weeks living expenses and maybe some side trips bud said he was a little short but that his dad would lend him some money then when you were with bud that morning everything was okay with him he was feeling fine ah he was on top of the world you never know when the sky is gonna fall in on you do you [Music] the next one i went to see was john mcfarland he was assistant terminal superintendent mike miller's boss he'd worked with mike every day for years and i figured he must have known him like a book [Music] so you're don patterson well i read your safety articles every week darn good keep it up i'm glad you like them mr mcfarland i'm trying no no it's man just plain man okay mac i want to talk about miller oh i'm going back over that day that monday reconstructing you saw miller here that morning like every other morning didn't you sure was it a normal average morning or did anything out of the ordinary take place you uh must have heard about our little beef beef no i i didn't well it was nothing but it's been on my mind i can tell you all right mike came in a little bit late that morning i heard later that he'd just gotten the tickets for speeding a 25 but anyway he came in i was busy he just went to work like he always does then along about 11 o'clock i got a call from the grain elevator we're in the sam hillar green park supposed to be here the first thing crews standing around waiting for i looked out the window there was their string setting i looked down the line there goes mike and his engine with lumber cars for the mill about 40 minutes later back he comes so i went off to talk to him mike what the devil are those grain cars setting out there for didn't you have them lined up for spotting first thing this morning yeah one of the first we spotted brooks the lumber cars we'll get the grain cars right after lunch after lunch what are they supposed to do with their men take a vacation oh now wait a minute that's what everybody's doing waiting on you on me oh i'm laying off i don't feel so good anyway okay and get yourself a new engine foreman all right the way you've been acting i don't want you around here today anyway [Music] so mike took off went home how long would you expect him to be off the job a good man like mike back the next day good as new no uh real problems we're all human son and nobody is more human than a railroad man by now i had accounted for the family up to just before noon and there was a pattern developing bit by bit not yet clear but already ominous at this point a girl named judy harrison entered the story she and katie miller were best friends rolled to school together studied together went to each other's homes for lunch in good weather on that monday judy you and katie miller went to her house for lunch didn't you our mothers took turns giving us a hot lunch tell me about monday well we met outside the gym like always got our bikes went to her house oh my katie stopped by the roses one of her mother's chickens had gotten out of the pen and katie went to catch it how was katie that morning you mean was she sick or something no uh depressed something on her mind no not at first not until later later when mr miller came home oh her dad oh my gosh oh no dad oh dad how could you i've told you 50 times never to leave that bike lying around i just laid it down i was coming right back never mind what you're gonna do oh look at that you drove in too fast what did you say katie don't talk back to your father now you two get inside your lunch is on the table go on now maybe they can fix it katie [Music] oh dear [Music] i don't understand how mr miller could have done it oh the bike was lying there in plain sight but he ran over it as if he didn't even see it and yelling at katie that way yelling i never knew him to do that ever now i had the miller story up to the noon hour i'd been told that at 1 30 that day mike miller had paid a visit to the medical center it called on a dr mcconville who made known for several years [Music] yes i treated mr miller that day for a badly bruised shoulder the uh x-ray for fracture was negative just muscle damage i put the arm in a sling just as a precaution you know how he hurt himself oh yes he told me about it it seems he has one of those camper trailers parked at his house one of the tires had gone flat and after lunch he jacked it up put a block under it and took the wheel off but the ground wasn't solid and the block tilted he put his shoulder under the edge of the trailer and tried to inch it forward to set the block straight [Music] [Applause] judgment is affected you mean and when you realize the stupid thing you've done you you're sometimes you get madder than ever you're in a very unsafe condition then a dangerous condition because only half your mind is on what you're doing now i had the miller family accounted for up to mid-afternoon one of the last persons to talk with any of them before the accident was leroy hackett his service station was about a mile from the miller home bud had come in for gas that monday afternoon yes but came in with the rand company truck about four o'clock he was just starting his deliveries did you notice anything different about him different say are you a reporter some kind of insurance investigator or what a reporter you can call my editor if you like well i'm just trying to help other people avoid something like this just so you aren't trying to make that a case against any of the millers oh nothing like that okay what can i tell you anything you can remember about bud miller that afternoon would be helpful well he was a little different ordinarily bud was just as nice easygoing it fell as you'd find that day he was bothered his mind and pretty upset i asked him what the trouble was could i help he said nobody could help so we talked for a few minutes and gradually he told me what the trouble was he got home from college about 3 40 like always to pick up the delivery truck and start his rounds he'd had some good news at school hey dad i'm going to what happened what happened to you oh i was trying to fix the trailer i don't get much help around here you know i'm lucky i didn't break some bone well couldn't you wait for me to give you a hand yeah that'd have been a long wait hey dad they picked me to go to cornell i've got my substitute driver all lined up to take my route and all i need is a small set look you may be all set but i got things coming on me like job's boils your sister left her 60 fighter in the road where i couldn't help running over i'm all banged up i got trouble on the job so don't think everything's roses dad i need some money for this trip if you'd let me have it i'd pay you back this summer the answer is no dad you can't leave now anyway with me like this we gotta have an able-bodied man around the place you know that are you saying i can't go oh go drive your truck [Music] so when bud drove in here i knew there was something bothering him so i asked him and he told me that's about it does it help you any i think you can really find out why it happened yes sir i think i know now [Music] i've had some bad days but nothing like that thank you wanna hear the last part of it i wouldn't miss it this is the statement i got from little jimmy rand age 11 at the hospital jimmy rand how'd he get in the story he's the son of the man bud miller worked for like to ride with but ah this is jimmy's statement bud let me ride with him whenever i asked him my dad didn't mind he liked butt a lot monday afternoon i was waiting for him at the store i noticed right away that bud didn't look the way he usually did i mean he looked angry when he got the truck loaded we started out [Music] but first i thought maybe he didn't want me with him but then i thought he's not mad at me he's mad at somebody else so i didn't say anything i waited for him to stop being mad at whoever it was we stopped by the high school and picked up bud's sister we had never done that before but katie's bike had been wrecked and she wanted to ride downtown as soon as she got in they began talking to each other very loud katie was angry about her bike bud was upset about something called coronel then katie got upset about cornell too bud said it was a chance of a lifetime and now he couldn't go kitty said that was awful just awful [Music] then just as we came up to the townsend road you know what he told me he said go drive your truck [Music] it's a red light [Music] it's a flag man [Music] [Music] i got a full statement from jimmy at the hospital we missed the truck all right but we couldn't stop my duct was thrown forward under the dashboard my dad says that's why i'm alive today bud and katie were thrown out and they died [Music] i started on this story to find a reason here's what i think but didn't see the flagman he was looking without seeing driving without thinking because his mind was distracted my own boy is just his age how about the father he must have felt as if his heart had been cut out i drove around there yesterday toward evening but i uh i couldn't bring myself to knock on the door i could see mrs miller in there sitting and staring and mike miller like a man who had lost all reason for living you