Helping the Child to Accept the Do's

e When We Were Young we were expected to learn and to observe many rules for living some of these rules such as walking around puddles were intended for our protection and well-being at every step we had to comply whatever we wanted to do had to be done in the way our parents thought proper we had to learn to be polite shaking hands with grown-ups seemed senseless but since it was considered important by parents we had to conform at least outwardly furthermore we were expected to comply with conventional ways of doing things to eat with Clean Hands and to observe table manners we didn't like all those rules and we often rebelled against the dues with such feelings we gradually learn to conform to parental requirements the way we accepted the dues along with these feelings helped shape our emerging personality some of the earliest dues are concerned with personal living the little child in intent upon his own Affairs continually faces the necessity of learning those living habits which his parents require for example this little boy wants to go on playing with blocks but mother insists he must first pull up his pants now now that he has complied he can go on playing with his toys soon he is tired of these blocks he notices his crayons and now he wants to draw some pictures but he has forgotten one of the Dos so mother reminds him that he must first put his blocks away the boy obeys because he is eager to draw pictures an understanding mother is concerned with more than obedience to her Authority she realizes that it is important to help the child accept the dues and learn to perform them by himself this develop self-discipline he would like to go on drawing however mother tells him that it is time to go to bed this is another of the dues designed to help him form orderly living habits with his pajamas on he is ready for bed but he will do anything to postpone going to sleep here he tries taking a book to bed a child's day is filled with dues they are tiring for both mother and child but many are necessary for his guidance and well-being unconditional love helps the child to accept these dues without serious conflicts day by day he incorporates Ates these dues into his developing personality early in life boys and girls meet the masculine and feminine dues they're expected to dress each in a different way they are expected to fix their hair in different ways and in other ways follow different paths each is required to accept these masculine or feminine patterns as interpreted by their parents little girls usually enjoy playing with dolls they like doing feminine things anticipating their future roles as mothers occasionally girls find that they are not supposed to do some of the things boys do children look upon their parents as models of feminine and masculine roles most boys like masculine activities but naturally some take to them more easily than others the dues for the boy and for the girl are changing today just as the roles of father and mother are being Modified by social changes how boys and girls in their early years accept these masculine and feminine patterns and how they feel about their future roles further shape their personalities every child is expected to accept the dues for human relations to be sociable whatever his personal feelings for example children must learn to settle differences in Friendly manner these two want to ride the tricycle but haven't learned the Dos of sharing now they're going to take turns some children find it easy to accept these patterns other children find it more difficult while a few children never fully accept them living together also means learning to do what others want a child who wants to be treated generously even fairly gradually realizes that he must treat others fairly through this continual give and take in play children are practicing the many dues for social living thereby they learn to cooperate gradually they also learn to do their share with others on group activities each child is trying hard to win acceptance as a member of the group learning to do his part and to recognize the contribution of others through playing and similar experiences the child begins to understand what it means to be a member of a social group these children have already learned many dues for living together these dues will increasingly shape their pattern of human relations as each child accepts these dues in his individual way so his personality develops and now let's summarize to Le our social World children must learn the many formal conventions and recognized patterns of social conduct through play and make believe children reveal their own version of the dos and what these DOS mean to them each child also develops an individual way of performing these dues the strong desire of children to be like grown-ups helps them to accept these conventional practices even though they may not fully understand them in all these dues they are governed largely by their feelings toward the grown-ups who have imposed them and thus in accepting the dues children develop the characteristic patterns of social living that shape their individual ual personalities