Furious Flycycle (1980)

My name is Melvin Spitzagel. That's my house, the one with the shutters. There's an apple tree with lots of red apples and a barn in back. My parents let me use the barn for my workshop. My ambition in life is to become a scientific mechanical wizard. I fixed Emma's egg beater so it became the fastest egg beater in town. And mama's sewing machine was the envy of every household in the county. >> Melvin, you certainly are a mechanical wizard. >> Thanks, Ma. One hot July day, the freezer at my father's ice cream plant broke down and the ice cream flooded right down Radish Street. I had an idea what was wrong and went straight to the trouble. I was right. It was a loose rotary 4 gauge whorax. I pulled out my number seven Lman wrench, gave the whirlax a couple of twists, and in a jiffy, everything was under control. Oh boy, a new silver zephr bicycle. Thanks, Pop. >> Thank you, son. >> The day I got my new silver zephyr was the very same day that that famous inventor, Professor Mickey, formerly of Prague, Stutgart, Liverpool, and Bombay, arrived in town. >> This is the town in which I want to spend the rest of my life unnoticed. >> He painted his house green, so it was practically invisible. The moving man drove up and down Maple Street a dozen times before they found the place. It made me happy to know that such a great man as Professor Mickey Mackey was living in our town. But it made me sad to see that while I, Melvin the mechanical wizard, was hiding under a tree, Professor Mickey Mackey, the world's greatest inventor, was hiding inside his house, and we'd probably never meet. I read the weekly paper very carefully looking for some mention of the professor, but he never came out of his house and certainly never gave interviews to the press. It was the day I went to Gearhart's hardware to buy some nuts and bolts that my luck suddenly changed. >> Give me a reel of piano wire. >> Yes, sir. He's my best customer. He gets very angry if we don't wait on him at once. Uh, good morning, Professor. >> You look like a nice young boy. What's your name? >> Melvin. Say, Professor, why don't I take your wire on my bicycle? I could have it at your house before you get there yourself. >> A marvelous idea. >> Here's the wire you ordered, Professor. >> I got it. >> Thank you, Mr. Dard. Oh, clumsy me forgetting to tell you about my camouflage house. >> Oh, that's okay. Can I carry the piano wire in for you, professor? >> How thoughtful. I didn't think young fellows were thoughtful anymore. >> All right, give me the wire now. >> Here you are, professor. Ah, such an excellent point. Do you have a baseball? >> Sure. Here you go. >> Oh, so kind of you. Do you mind? >> No, not at all. >> No. First, we're going to bore a hole straight into the middle of the ball. Then we fill that hole with these secretly powered gray belllets. But I invented probe inside with a crystal stick to make sure no pellets are lost. And then we're going to plug up the hole with some quick drying potty. Finally, we place the ball on this copper ring. We activate the transformer and watch. Uh-huh. Z. >> Holy cats. >> Wow. >> Z H. >> Such an excellent boy. Doesn't touch. >> I borrowed one of the professor's secret gray pellets to check it out in my workshop. Then when the professor wasn't looking, I diagrammed the inside of the transformer. Young man, what are you doing? >> Just taking some notes. Professor, >> what have I done? Shield. Even children cannot be trusted. >> But I want to be an inventor, professor. >> Oh, so you you want to be an inventor? Listen to me now. It is very difficult this journey you want to make to be a scientific mechanical wizard. Better you should have a farm, grow chickens, make omelets. The simple life that's the best, believe me. >> No, I want to be a wizard like you. >> All right, but it's difficult. Very, very difficult. I think I could do it, Professor. >> It's from Aunt Lola and Uncle Gus and cousin Benny and Chester. Oh, they're planning an expedition up the Manasaki River. Canoeing by day and camping out at night. Why, they want Melvin to join them very much. >> Isn't that something? Oh, I envy you that trip, Melvin. >> Sorry, I'm otherwise occupied. Nothing could separate me from my work, not even tear gas. >> The chance of his lifetime. And he'd rather be cooped up in that stuffy barn. >> Parcels came almost every day. Burners and beers, scalpels, and tweezers, magnifiers, and chemicals and whatnot. Then finally, one day, I discovered the secret of the great pellets. Yahoo! Yippee! Yay! Telegram. Telegram. >> Thank you, Sunny. >> Who's it from, dear? >> It says Aunt Lola and Uncle Gus and cousin Benny and cousin Chester failed to arrive at their destination at the end of the canoe expedition. They're three days overdue. >> Don't worry, Mom. I finished the black box. >> What black box? my generating stabilizing electrocarbon condensating atmospheric procyclonic compact dynamic magnetic box. >> My dear relatives are lost on the Manasaki River and he raves on about black boxes. >> Mom, I'm telling you, the black box is going to save your family. >> I'll be back soon. >> Moving. Oh my word. >> Good luck, son. >> Ride carefully, Melvin. Ah, forest country. I must be getting close. And these must be the rapids of the Manasaki. I pumped the fly cycle with more and more speed, almost touching the surface of the moving river, so I would not miss a single clue. I thought about how Aunt Lola played the piano and taught crocheting and how Uncle Gus was in the soda pop business. Their sons Benny and Chester were extremely uncoordinated. What chance would they have against these raging rapids or against a suddenly grouchy bear? What's that up ahead? Footprints. The canoes. It's them. >> Uncle Gus, Aunt Lola, Benny, Chester. Hang on, everybody. Get over here. >> Okay, everybody, hop on. Grab that stick to balance us with, Uncle Gus. Let's get going. Well, we got off the ground. Now, let's head for home. >> The furious fly cycle, a little worse for wear, was launched on its return journey. >> How are we going to find our way in the dark? Melvin, see the big dipper over there? That will lead us straight home. >> We're going to make it. Melvin, >> I don't know. I'm getting awfully tired. >> Look out, Melvin. Here comes the royal ducks. Yikes. >> Melvin, we're losing altitude. I know. I could hardly pump anymore. Hey, I think that's our tower up ahead. >> Oh, thank goodness. >> The bird house. >> The barn. Oh, finally. >> It's moving. We're back, folks. Everybody's okay. >> Yay. >> We made it. We made it. >> You know, the professor was right. It is difficult being a scientific mechanical wizard and it's also very tiring.