Families First (1948)

people and Strong by faith and dreams and the blood of families tame that Wilderness the Mount vernin of America LS not only because great men live there Washington melo's Jefferson but because the hearts from which they sprang nourished the roots of their great and this is the root of America's greatness that it is a nation of homes a home is not just shelter the family makes the home the family is the seed bed of citizens responsible for our nation's [Music] future each day 7,000 American babies announc their arrival and their curiosity world that surrounds them that world at first is the family a world full of physical and mental needs a world long studied by experts like New York State youth commissions John a as a former police official and as head of the New York state prison system I've had many opportunities to observe misguided and delinquent individuals while each offender is different most of them have been handicapped by inadequate home training no one can outline a day-by-day program for raising children however we know that children like adults seek to satisfy four fundamental needs security affection recognition and new experiences if parents help their children secure these Essentials in reasonable amounts the young can be trusted to grow up into healthy happy law-abiding citizens security affection recognition experiences are like jars of jam on a Pantry Shelf they are beyond the reach of a child without the help of his parents America's strength lies in parents who give their children these things without them no child can grow to be whole and good without them lives can be warped and wasted and turned even to delinquency the first need of the child is security the feeling of belonging the feeling of care care and safety most parents give this instinctively to the totally dependent infant the obligation to feed them when they're hungry warm them when they're cold soothe them when they are hurt is clear because it can be seen and heard and [Music] heated but the job is not over when a child in other ways feels he's part of the family group feel useful and important his own mind the temporary tance of a moment's convenience or a moment's [Music] impulse I've planned and where to go what to do how to give everyone a share in the living no family can live in constant Harmony and peace human nature just isn't made that way but discipline and Direction can lighten these frictions and make children feel that they have parents who are not only companions but gues [Music] friction between the parents themselves and that can happen even in the best of presence of children before it can become a real issue otherwise it can suggest doubt raise the question of [Music] insecurity [Music] there is no substitute for love when it is there the child knows that no matter what happens he can draw on it where there is affection discipline has meaning and the child can understand it even though he may resist it now and then to a growing child every achievement means a great deal recognition of these achievements no matter how small they may seem to an adult is an incentive to Greater [Music] ones security is more than catering to physical needs more than clothing and feeding and shelter warmth and sympathy or as necessary to healthy human growth as water is to plants each new experience is an important part of growing up walking talking before long feeding themselves these are all milestones in a child's development each is another step towards preparation for Life Learning is not confined to school our education is all around us it's a NeverEnding process new interests give a child new values and outlets for his Boundless Energy new interests also to share in exuberance or in the retelling of the new [Applause] experience new Privileges and greater freedoms come with age and a sense of responsibility but each New Liberty carries an obligation to use it wisely understanding parents know that friends and fun and foolishness are all part of Teenage life forbidding them may thwart a natural element of growth interpreting them wisely and slowly can cultivate that individual taste perception and sense of responsibility that is their privately cherished [Music] hope [Music] mom we're L already please darling try to come home before midnight this time won't you oh mother for heaven's sakes Betty's mother let her stay out as long as she wants to ready hello oh hello yes well I didn't tell Betty anytime it's my own Affair what time my daughter comes home well I like that if neighbors work together they can establish reasonable standards for their children but unfortunately some parents don't see the need for cooperation they may be too busy too tired or just too disinterested to do anything about the spare time of their [Music] children pull up there said ey and no tricks I got you covered you got me covered Sheriff but look behind you if active play in Pursuits are not encouraged children are exposed to experiences which bear no relation to their ages their minds are crammed with stories of adult crime and horror whose meanings they're not prepared to understand and only whose violence remains these are not living experiences that make for growth but secondhand ones that build a fantasy world substituting for the imagination instead of stimulating it as for real experiences a casual one may leave a lasting impression and a destructive one actions do speak louder than words and children will measure the world in terms of grown-up Behavior particularly their [Music] parents for adolescence particularly new experiences without supervision without control can be of the wrong [Music] kind parents with problems are inclined to let the school take them over and in many ways the school does learning is an enormous experience for the child but the home is still the major influence for good or bad the slow child needs as much recognition as the quick one even the smallest Advance is the fruit of great struggle if it is not recognized if he's made to feel inferior and hopeless he will turn to other ways of getting attention tragic ones teachers interested in their pupils try to work with parents but sometimes their motives are misunderstood well whether you know it or not running a house and taking care of a family is a full-time job I I don't have time to to concentrate on Danny alone the school can't do the whole job the parent and the teacher must work together if either is to succeed it is easily said that children should be seen and not heard and there are times when that old adage is very valuable but to silence the normal interests of a child at a time when the family is gathered to share the enjoyment of living is to close the door on him what children talk about their games their friends their school is as important to them as the cost of living or business or politics is to adults what children talk about indicates what they think [Music] about when affection does not exist discipline has no meaning it is only a sure Force the child lonely and neglected will turn against it and the parent who administers it overindulgence is no better especially if it is shown towards one child at the expense of the other meanwhile the neglected child missing warmth and affection at home will look for it [Music] elsewhere children cannot respect parents who set an example of of friction and mutual contempt when they take out their grievances on their children they can warp a child's whole [Music] life there is no security in hate [Applause] there is no security in a broken [Music] home when a child's sense of security is gone his sense of responsibility goes with it since his fellow humans did nothing for him he will do nothing for them and since his parents let him down he will let everybody else down 10 years is a short time in a delinquent life but now the problems that once were little were suddenly big and tragically important records show that disintegrated families produce more than their share of our second class [Music] citizens the boy is still home if you can call a hideout home and if you can call the root of most of his troubles [Music] home [Music] a criminal career casts its shadow over the early and formative years looking back the expert can see the danger signals which were passed either unnoticed or unheated small and unimportant in themselves maybe but over the years of enormous impact on the child new experiences of the wrong kind affection and understanding lacking children grow up only once they grow as their parents shaped them a useful and rewarding life is the result of Parental care and understanding and the satisfaction of making happiness possible is deep compensation for those who fulfill the [Music] responsibility happy families make happy communities Healthy Communities strengthen in the state strong States set an example for the whole world team is no stronger stands on familyes [Music] first