Facing Reality (1954)

but he seems too difficult for us to face we retreat behind defensive mechanism there was the girl who always explained that she really didn't want something after she found out she couldn't get it she was too faced mechanism was realization remember the boy who failed to make the team it was because a coach didn't like him so he said for him the fault was always someplace else adult to the wrong time a stupid teacher his defense mechanism is a special type of rationalization that we call projection remember the girl who could only disagree she could only shake her head her defense mechanism was negativism all of us are guilty of defensive mechanisms to some degree at some time knowing their dangers we have a better chance to guard against them when these poor defenses slip and they always do and we're face to face with hard reality again we have other means of getting away remember the boy who couldn't dance but who always brought a pipe to the party he was trying to escape from a sense of his own inadequacy the next morning he'd have a hangover and he still couldn't dance he was a daydreamer she could dream that she was the most beautiful woman in the world time and time again she could return to it getting more beautiful with each dream but every time she woke up she was face to face with her own face he identified himself with a welder weight champion every fight the champ won he won every punch the champ took he took and he could take it his escape mechanism was identification with somebody else she thought that if you pretended a thing wasn't there it might go away if you pretended something hadn't happened maybe it happened if you hid the truth away maybe it would turn out to be a lie her escape mechanism was suppression he saw illness as a way out a back way true but away well it was time to bring in the wood his legs pained him when the snow fell something went wrong with his arm and he loved the attention he got his escape mechanism was Mille injuring the army calls it goldbricking too many of us refused to face reality too many of us try to escape escape our duties and identities our faces and our families but all these things remain all the realities remain whenever we leave our dreams and return to the real world Michael squires is such a person pinwheeling through life defenses held high darting away from reality through the escape hatches of his emotional being essentially every normal person wants to stand well in his own eyes and in the eyes of others when he does not then he'll seek ways to achieve that standing protective mechanisms offer the wrong route finding out what the trouble is what sends us into a defence and escape mechanisms is the first step on the road back to reality and the satisfactions and rewards that can be found only in the real world I remember promising you a few minutes at the end of this period to discuss your class dance I guess the time has come now and I'll see you all tomorrow so long okay a little attention please okay now we got just about everything set the dance will be the first week in October Friday night we've got Jimmy Baron and his boys for the music but we're gonna have to pay him extra if it goes past midnight okay all right now look let's get to the committee's as I'm chairman of the entertainment program I'll assign you to various committees but if you're not satisfied you can overrule me is that ok all right let's start with the decoration committee Sandra Helen all right Paul Mike better count me out come on Mike everybody else is helping out no I'll leave me out of it I'm pretty busy these days doing some very important work at home don't tell it you're still at work on your great American knob it must be nearly finished by now oh it's coming along well look we can't waste any more time how about you Hank well I'll not much good on decorations anyway there are probably a lot of other things I could do much better it's okay Mike forget it now we want to decide whether we want it to be formal or costume costume oh okay hold it hold it I just fake the jeans and plaid shirts be more colorful that's all wait a minute look will vote on it all in favor of formal say I contrary no no oh mike is hiding his sense of inadequacy in negativism he was afraid of failing on the decoration job so he refused and now he's taking great pleasure from being coaxed to change his viewpoint he's getting satisfaction from being the center of attraction okay let's try to make it unanimous now all those in favor of a forum will say i ah okay he always manages to make it talk he's what mr. Smith calls a negative negative I don't understand that he just likes to have his own way at home at night Mike slips into another phase of his defense mechanism that of rationalization for some reason he claims to be totally uninterested in the dance he isn't even sure that he wants to go all those guys rushing around buttoned up to their chins and blue serge let's see Mike doesn't want a new suit and he probably implies that the music at such dances is never any good anyway his sister suggests but probably none of the girls would dance with him girls just having Harriet around the house is all the girls Mike and stomach or so he claims girls are stupid and silly he would be perfectly happy so he says if you never saw another girl as long as he lived his sister has her own ideas on the subject sour grapes mike is finding out that no real defense against the hard realities of life can be found in negativism and rationalization face-saving self-justification deception why disappointment discouragement a sense of failure why insecurity a lack of confidence a feeling of inferiority why why there are all kinds of reasons for such things and there could be all kinds of results from them Mike had many of his own reasons and he had his own results in some cases Mike had taken little experiences little things and buried them deep within himself carefully suppressed and kept from the healing light of day the you he's skinny isn't he the trouble is if it's nerves they never get over it Mike never found out that the conversation was about a dog the answer was so simple but he's always kept the question buttoned up inside himself protective mechanisms offer the wrong route finding out what the trouble is what sends us into defense and escape mechanisms is the first step on the road back to reality if we can pour out our troubles and unhappiness to a sympathetic friend or a member of the family then we can avoid keeping such things tied up in ourselves that's all for today got something on your mind well that's place to get things on your mind is off that may not be good English but it makes good sense I guess I haven't been making good sense