Etiquette (1988)

Remember your etiquette. Welcome to Etiquette, the show that illustrates [music] it's nicer to be nice than nasty. So, please welcome our host, Roger Murray. >> Thank you. Thank you very much. We have a really great show for you today. I'd like you to meet our panel, Priscilla Smith, Walden Kurthers, and Nick Welsh. Now, I'd like for each of you to tell us why you agreed to be with us today. Priscilla? Well, I was voted most popular at school this year, and I thought that being on an important television show like this might help me get elected again next year. Besides, I get to get out of biology. >> Good enough, Priscilla. Walden, what lured you in front of our cameras? >> I'm president of the debating team at school, and I couldn't pass up a chance to try my hand in a public forum with such wide exposure. Furthermore, it is my fault. >> Thank you, Walden. Thank you, Nick. I understand your principal insisted that you be with us today. >> Yeah. His note expressed the hope that you might benefit from the discussion. Do you agree? >> Yeah, whatever. >> Well, I hope you will all feel sufficiently rewarded for your time and your trouble. Nick, let's start with you. In your own words, what is etiquette? >> Etiquette? >> Mhm. >> Oh, yeah. I know what that is. I learned about that in the fifth grade. Now, the etiquette is a part of the sentence that comes after the subjugate. You know the subjugate and the etiquette. >> You're thinking of the predicate, Nick. Priscilla. >> Etiquette. Etiquette. E T I quue E t. I think it's about being polite. >> That's part of it. Priscilla. Walden. >> Etiquette is knowing which fork to use. It was invented by King Louis the 14th or 15th or 16th. Therefore, I would like >> That's fine. Wen. Thank you. Now, what you say does have a basis in fact, but forks are just a very small part of etiquette. Etiquette is a French word which we use to mean proper manners. And etiquette involves having consideration for other people. Sort of like doing unto others as you'd have them do unto you. In other words, >> oh, like saying please and thank you. >> Yes. And like not interrupting when someone else is speaking. Now, Priscilla, how would you describe etiquette? >> Boys opening doors for girls and giving them their seats. >> Oh, get real. Oh, come on, Priscilla. >> What would you two know? I'm sure. >> Panel, please. Please. Now look, your bad manners are very instructive, but we're here to explore the advantages of good manners. Now, Priscilla's idea of etiquette is just a shade old. Let's take a look at the monitor, and you'll see what I mean. When your grandparents were your age, young ladies were expected to wear gloves and pretty dresses. And young gentlemen, still in existence at the time, were expected to open doors and give up their chairs for all women. But the rules have changed and the differences between the sex have narrowed. So what does that mean? >> Well, the obvious conclusion is that girls can be expected to show the same courtesies as boys. >> That's correct. Young men are not the only ones expected to be considerate of others. Good manners are for everyone regardless of age or sex. >> Yeah, right. Like with my mom and dad, when they go fill up his motorcycle, my mom puts the gas in the tank while dad holds her coat so she don't get no gas on her rabbit fur. >> [laughter] >> Well, yes. Now, take a look at the screen and tell me what you see. >> All right. >> Disgusting. >> What does boxing have to do with etiquette? >> Boxing is a fist fight with rules. >> Proper manners in a boxing match. >> Yeah, right. Like you don't go over and kick the guy when he's down, >> right? It's a [cheering] sport, a game, and without rules, it would just be another brawl. Let me give you another example. In baseball, the catcher is not allowed to punch out the homeplayed umpire. and the shortstop can't tackle a base runner trying to steal. Without rules, there'd just be no game. And the same is true in society. And knowing the rules makes all the difference. And while kindness isn't required, you do get back what you give out. [laughter] >> Hey, that looks like my lunch period. >> Hey, I can imagine. >> Say what? >> Panel, please. Now, Nick, perhaps you're in the best position to explain to us why etiquette is necessary in order to make things more pleasant. Certainly, fighting over your food takes too much time. Yeah, and it can hurt. >> Isn't this all kind of obvious? Couldn't we just get on to the finer points of etiquette? >> Yes. I would like to hear your opinion concerning forks. It is my confession. >> What about them? You pick up your fork, you stick it into something, and shove it in your mouth. Simple. >> I'm surprised you know that much. >> Antiquette is something that has to be practiced all the time. Good manners have to become second nature, almost as automatic as breathing. >> I'm sorry, Roger. >> Sorry, Nick. Hey, it's okay. >> Say, since you brought it up, why don't we deal with the subject of forks? >> Excuse me, sir. I hate to admit it, but I believe I have to side with Nick. [laughter] >> Yeah, that's one for me, huh? >> Etiquette is defined as having consideration for others. How does knowing the use of forks fit in? >> The use and placement of eating utensils is more a matter of good form than anything else, which is both sensible and helps make everyone feel more comfortable. Sort of like wearing shoes to school or refraining from blowing your nose on your neighbor's shirt tail. >> Wow, look at all those forks and things. >> That is a little overdoing it, isn't it? >> Nobody eats like that except at the White House. And the press never invites me over anyway. >> I can't imagine why. Just kidding. >> You never know, Nick. One day you might be invited to dine at the White House or some other formal affair. Wouldn't it be embarrassing if you didn't know what to do? And don't be scared off by the number of objects on the table. The table is set up in a logical way for the convenience of the diners. Now, under your table, you'll find dishes and silverware. So, let's each set a place for dinner. Remember, logic and convenience. Nick, you seem to have an interesting approach. >> I just pile mine here and grab what I need. Priscilla, you seem to have it down pretty well. I'll bet that you set the table at home. >> What's wrong with mine? It certainly looks correct to me. >> Um, Priscilla, you tell her. >> You've got them backwards. Forks go on the left and knife goes on the right. >> Why is that? >> Because my mother says so. >> Hey, wait a minute. Hey, I bet I know. >> Yes, Nick. >> Okay, check this out. When you cut your food, you use your fork in your left hand and your knife in your right. Right. >> So, you put them where it's easy to pick them up. >> Oh, I see. It's just common sense. Yeah, you got it, Walden. Congratulations. >> I think you're beginning to get the hang of it. Now, let's look at the banquet table on our screen again. Tell me, does it seem any less frightening now? >> No, I still wouldn't know where to begin. >> What about all those glasses? There's at least four or five around each plate. >> Okay, Nick, you're on a roll. What would you do with them? >> Hey, I give up. Hey, look. Can I just go get some fries and a shake? Hey, I know exactly what to do with them. >> Thanks, Nick. What you pick up first is no less logical than where you placed your silverware or what looks convenient to you. >> I guess I'd start on the outside and work my way in towards the plate. >> Right. But bear in mind that this is an extremely formal setting and few homes or restaurants are likely to use all of this. But with the glasses, you start from the extreme right and you move in one with each course. Now, if milk or water is your beverage, an appropriate glass will be placed to the right of your plate. Priscilla, tell us what the little dish in the knife on the left is for. >> That's for bread and butter. But what's the fork and spoon above the dinner plate for? I've never seen that. >> That's for dessert. >> Oh, I have a question. Where did the napkins go? Oh, when do you put them in your lap? >> In your lap? I stick mine in my shirt to keep the ketchup from dribbling down my front. By the time it reaches my lap, it is way too late. >> Nick, adults never wear bibs. What about it, Priscilla? Where is the napkin placed on the table? >> It goes on the left near the forks, but for formal dinners, it's placed in the middle of the plate. >> That's right. So, when does the napkin go in your lap? >> As soon as you sit down, so you can start shoveling in your grub. >> Well, yes. Can you believe it? I'm getting etiquette. >> And no, the point is to not shovel down the food as though you were in a contest, but instead you wait for your host to pick up his or her fork it to begin. The idea is to enjoy a leisurely meal with family or friends where you can talk and appreciate the food that you're eating. All right, let's pretend Walden, you're going to give a dinner party and you're going to call Nick on the telephone to invite him. >> Walden would never do that. >> Nonetheless, the phone rings. What do you do, Nick? I throw a body block to my little brother so I can get there before he does. Then I sit on his chest and I say, "Yo, what you want?" >> How about a simple hello? >> Oh, okay. Hello. Hello. Who's this? >> Excuse me, but that's wrong, Walden. You should always identify yourself first. Never demand the identity of the person answering the phone. Let's try it again. >> Oh, okay. Hello. Hello. This is Walden. May I speak to Nick? >> This is he? I mean, uh, [snorts] I mean, hey, Walden, it's Nick. >> Hi. I'm calling to invite you to a dinner party I'm giving. >> Fine. Now, let's have Nick call Priscilla and ask her to accompany you. >> Oh, Nick. >> Hey, cut it out. Okay. What do I say? >> Try saying hello. >> Okay. Hello, Priscilla. Uh, this is Nick Welch. Uh, how are you? >> Fine, Nick. And how are you? >> Uh, fine. Fine. Um, listen. Walden Kurthers just invited me to a dinner party and I I thought you might like to go. >> I'd love to go, Nick. Um, what time will you be picking me up? >> It's your show, Nick. >> Um, I'll pick you up at 6:00. Well, uh, got to go. Have a nice night. Goodbye, Priscilla. >> Goodbye, Nick. >> Oh, man. Man, I wish I could disappear. >> Oh, I thought it was kind of cute. >> I thought you both did fine. You set the time, the place, and the date. Don't forget to let your parents know what time you'll be home. All right, let's skip ahead to Walden's dinner party. Walden, your guests have arrived. What would you do first? >> Well, first I'd shake hands and >> shake hands. Nah, that's for old people. >> Hey, what's it for anyway? >> Hand shaking? Well, it goes back a long, long way, Nick. In the Middle Ages, knights used to grab each other's arms as a sign of peace, and that way they couldn't draw their swords. So, initially, it was a matter of self-preservation. Today, it's just a friendly ritual, which should include looking into each other's eyes and smiling and saying something like, "How do you do?" or "Hello, how are you?" It simply means that you're grown up enough to practice the social graces. You're a member of the community and you're ready to participate. Now, here's a variation on handshaking that's taken to the extreme. >> Cool. Moving right along. Suppose that Walden has never met Priscilla before. Nick, how would you introduce them? >> Let's say, "Yo, Walden, this Priscilla." >> Well, there are many variations. Although Nyx is the shortest and most informal, the important thing to remember is that the man should always be introduced to the woman unless he's the president or the pope or some such dignitary. What you should have said was something on the order of Priscilla may present Walden or Priscilla Walden. Women before men, age before youth, and so forth is a good rule of thumb. >> So shaking hands is the rule. >> Women don't shake hands. They just kiss and hug. Disgusting. >> No, women shake hands. Only the man is supposed to wait for the woman to offer her hand. Right. >> Well, that's right. But she doesn't have to offer it. In fact, neither does a man. If the king of Bavaria doesn't offer his hand, you better not offer yours or it'll be left hanging out there like a dead fish. But if someone does offer their hand, it's kind of nice to smile and shake it. Well, panel, now that we've learned how to say hello, it's time to say goodbye as our time is up. In appreciation for being on our show, you're all invited to be our guests for dinner at the fabulous Mondo restaurant. But before we go, are there any final comments? Priscilla, >> I just want to say that this has been fun. I never thought about etiquette before and really it's something we should all try and learn. Like any subject in school, knowing how to behave in society is as important as knowing how to read and write. >> That's terrific, Priscilla. Walden, >> I can sum up my position by stating that proper etiquette is something we should all work on. Taken on the largest scale, it can even affect the way different countries get along with each other. >> Oh, that's very nice. Walden, how about you, Nick? Are you glad you came? >> Anything beats sitting in the principal's office. Hey, and if I learn my manners, my dad might even let me eat with the family once in a while. >> Finally, etiquette is more than just the traditional rules that keeps our society functioning smoothly. It's the practice of being kind and considerate toward our fellow human beings. And although it may sound funny, it is nicer to be nice [music] than nasty. Yeah, you buddy. >> Thank you, Nick. Oh, Nick, >> can you believe the change in you? You look outrageous. >> Would you believe this? >> Do you smoking? >> [music] >> Oh, [music] hey.