Death of a Traveling Salesman

ladies and gentlemen you may be the winner of a hundred thousand dollar prize there are just three things you need to do one watch the following program carefully two listen for the hidden Clues and three hold a winning ticket in the Irish sweepstakes [Music] oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] in the competitive business system of today much depends upon the initiative and drive of the individual and most of all to the men who create the demand for our multi-formed goods and services this then is a tribute to the traveling salesman a special kind of guy riding out in the blue with a smile on his lips a shine on his shoes and a hole in his head this is the Willie Roman story Willie Roman had been on the road for years every fashionable suburb knew his cheery face his open-handed generosity he was welcomed into typical American Homes everywhere hello kids it's me your friendly fullabunk brush man I'll rush you you know good Nick 398 for a broom and look at it come at him Beats at tweets as it clean who wants to sweep I bought it to ride I should have known why don't we talk this thing over gorgeous I'm pushing a little different line this trip hon what are you selling me you as about it some offer 53 years I wait for Prince Charming and who shows up the king of the hobos we could make beautiful music together with my looks and your money week what makes you think I have money I spotted it wrapped up in a sugar bowl first you know you stake me through a front and not only do you get a fancy looking young husband but I'll double your money for you what do you say well okay great first you'll give me two bucks for a license and you look like a yeah I'll need an Ivy League suit elevator shoes who knows I might stop wearing socks looks terrible so so already milsra dog you've made a great deal sawing it to my leg so the money did Willie get socks he got someone to put them on [Music] the pickles but Willie was ever a perfectionist Mildred I wanted natural shoulders for 49.50 you're lucky it has sleeves yeah well the pants are okay maybe just a little too iffy overcoming these obstacles Willie Roman set out on his new career he was going to sell insurance within six weeks he had sold his first million dollar policy and rode home in Triumph with his client who was delighted with the protection he'd received if I ever get bit by a chicken on saint swithers day I'm rich the boss Mildred was waiting with cheery words where's the where's the money I think I've spotted a live one see you around some Year hon one Triumph wasn't enough for ambitiously Roman are you kiddo give me some skin what's shaking baby oh Mr Roman I've heard so much about your three-way protection I'm book solid right now how about it tonight always eager to service a customer Willy actually got there at 7 59. Selma boy do you need a policy fast I do I knew it as soon as I saw those raw red Knuckles you got it what four out of the three people have kiddo look rhinestone heart calcification of the external cost allowance your heart probably looks like that right now it's horrible isn't it though no no keep it sweetie a souvenir for me why not we'll take the price out of your first premium and I'm covered I'll backdate the policy a deal oh yes I'll bring the policy in the morning oh Mr Roman how can I ever thank you and I said if I check ready Soma found her policy was good only while she was riding in a Space Capsule between the hours of 8 and 10 pm print from that day there was no stopping Willie Roman fire insurance on my Saloon W fool Roman I think twice Manny it's awful easy to have an accident oh boy yeah yeah maybe you're right Willie you bet I'm right of course word of Willy's success reached the head office and the chief actuary localis Blanc four meaning commissions 80 million in claims against the company and 37 lost lawsuits yes the head office had plans for Willie Roman big plans but Willie had plans of his own the Playboy club they even bet he could sell a policy on the Dance Floor to the famous Spanish dancer Lolita O'Brien go dancing is your muscle strain and Tango dancing as your heels are pain but I've got a policy you should know for Waltz and Rumba and the bar Geo each corn and callous that the dock declares means 12 bucks a week for the next 10 years [Applause] right after she paid the premium she had to give up Spanish dancing she was allergic to roses star was in the ascendant bonuses and commissions rolled in he was the hit of every sales boosters convention yay yeah yeah have a man yay eventually the Plucky salesman was worth as much as the company itself at the head office lucullus Blanc was wondering about Willy's Place in the organization like every good Superior he had several ideas of how the energetic young salesman might fit into various corporate niches Blanc decided to take the problem direct to the company president Ernest heminghal The Eccentric millionaire Sportsman now what's all the hacker Blanc just this if Romans hears one more big policy and there's a claim on it the company's bankrupt see [Music] fearful of Willie's prowess Hammond Hall invited the young go-getter and his secretary to his luxurious Dude Ranch in the Catskills merely in order to fire him but he had reckoned without our heroes persuasive ability for the next morning dressed casually in tennis Hogs Willie braced him in Hall as he was about to go Yak hunting hey boss you ever figure the odds on somebody potting you for a grizzly what a knife nonsense Roman that's why I carry this striped Blazer if anything happened just wanted to make sure you were covered nice thought traveling sure enough during lunch Willie sold Hammond Hall an 8 billion dollar policy with his own company let's see now I collect if I'm hitting the right kidney with number three Buckshot while watching a balloon race right right but his biggest policy was to prove Willie's undoing for the very next day Heming Hall was watching a balloon race the only match played in that area for 86 years [Applause] oh holy hey isn't a guy in the wrong set you're right embarrassed Hammond Hall tried to change seats it was too late that tingles still it's nice to know I'm covered alas that was the end of the company out of Willy's career he went downhill fast frantically he searched through the wanteds but nobody was advertising for vice presidents sales boosters meeting an angry mob of Underwriters ejected him bodily ivy league suit and all broken-hearted Willie Roman was carried into his Skid Row apartment to breathe his last don't feel too bad Mr Roman feel bad heck I'm dying at least you leave Mildred will provided for her what do you mean your insurance who's insured [Applause]