Communication: The Non-verbal Agenda (1988)

[Music] [Music] Everything we do communicates. We communicate to others through words of course, but also through our appearance, our facial expressions, the postures we assume, the clothes we wear. In organizations, even such things as office decor, furniture arrangement, and and lighting communicate subtle messages to employees and customers about the way an organization approaches its day-to-day objectives. What are all these messages telling us? A lot. In reality, what we convey and perceive through non-verbal communication is often more important than what is put into words. [Music] >> Uh, excuse me. People, people, if we want to um complete this agenda before dark, we need to get back to work. >> Today, we place enormous emphasis on the written and spoken word. While the profound effects of nonverbal communication are often overlooked, >> the presentation. Now, as I've told you, this uh proposal is for a very important client, which is why I've uh seen fit to handle it personally. Now, there's been some talk about uh cost overruns. I'm not going to make any rash judgments until I see those budget figures from George. Wait a minute. Where's George? I'm here. >> Oh. Um, sorry. Well, let's have that budget. >> Oh. Um, >> now um I know there's a concern that we've gone over a little, but in this case I think you'll agree it's just >> Well, um, we're within shouting distance of our contingency, I think. Wait a minute. Weren't we going to implement those new pricing controls I mentioned? >> Well, I thought so. Elliot's office distributed the memo and that detailed outline. >> I saw that, but it didn't include any projections. >> How does non-verbal communication work? >> The way we exchange messages without the use of words involves a complex and subtle interplay of factors. So in lie of that I guess we'd best review the budget such as it is graphics 2259 photography 415 over >> vocal intonation >> timing >> materials >> facial expressions >> eye movements >> body position >> each of these may confirm or obscure cure what we are saying with words. >> Outside labor 3617. >> Now, don't misunderstand. I think we're okay on this. As long as we land this account. Just want to know how we got so far over without anyone checking. George, accounting should have spotted this. What do you have to say? Um, well, I uh uh don't quite know what to say. Uh, I'm sorry. I mean, we had such a heavy load uh laid on us that uh I mean, >> in general, our words deliver explicit objective information. >> Our bodies convey how we feel about it. >> Just saying that we had our our hands full. Um, >> when we do use words to describe our emotions, we are often describing not so much what we feel as what we think we ought to feel. A verbal apology, for example, may be accompanied by a nonverbal expression of suppressed rage or hostility. >> Ultimately, uh, if it means anything, I'm I'm sorry. Um, but I I I must point out in all fairness, I lost nearly a third of my staff in the cutbacks. And wasn't that about the time they were doing the remodeling? >> A minor inconvenience at worst. >> Didn't affect me in the slightest. >> Now, look, look, I'm I'm not complaining. It's just we were all inconvenienced here, right? when our words contradict the unspoken messages contained in our actions. >> Well, I had >> others may begin to mistrust our words and rely almost entirely on what we do. >> There isn't a department in this organization that tried harder to keep this proposal under budget. Um, now I I don't know. I'm I'm not trying to weasle out of my responsibility. Uh, it's just that uh I did have some uh some uh personnel problems and uh and well some p personal problems, too. Um, I just don't know uh what uh what more I can uh I can say. [Music] >> Yes. Well, we'll go over this oneonone. George, um, in the meantime, I think we all need to review the presentation. Uh, 10:00 tomorrow morning. >> It is indeed not so much what we say as the way we say it. And actions do speak louder than words. >> Communication is a synonym for life. As infants, we learn to communicate our thoughts, needs, and feelings through nonverbal means long before we have the words to do so. Ultimately, we begin to sense the unique capacity of words to bring us into the larger world of those we love and desire to imitate. Learning to master language is perhaps the most prodigious task we ever face and the most profoundly motivated. Our educational system emphasizes written and spoken language, the mastery of which will occupy us for life. However, there is no corresponding attention paid to the nonverbal language that the child knows instinctively. >> The result, we may tend to disregard intellectually what is said non-verbbally. However, subconsciously we are affected profoundly by it. Consequently, in our later work lives, when there is a disparity between what is spoken through words and what is said non-verbbally, the result is almost always confusion, misdirection, and a lack of productivity. >> At the extreme, words themselves can become ritual. and our true messages may be conveyed wholly by non-verbal means. >> Well, uh, what do we think of the presentation in general? >> Uh, great. Just great. [Music] >> Right. You've done it again, Miss Benning. >> Boy, I mean, it's it's right there. [Music] That account's in the bank if you ask me. >> I'm very impressed. Very well. It was worth every penny. >> Terrific. >> Since it is very often taboo to express true feelings, attitudes, and motives verbally. >> Excuse me. >> In such instances, words may be used not to reveal, but rather to conceal. >> I think the quality is bad. >> Oh, we could use a little work, clean up the graphics, and rework some of the copy. No problem. But minor noodle. That's all it really needs and I can all wait till the client approves it. >> Of course, the client should be able to see through a few little glitches here and there. After all, it's the concept that sells. >> By encouraging this non-verbal conspiracy to cover our true feelings, we may become isolated from the honest feedback needed to avoid costly mistakes and errors. >> Well, thanks. Wish me luck. I make the official presentation to the client at 3 this afternoon. While there is no grammar, no dictionary of nonverbal communication, there are patterns in our silent messages that managers must begin to recognize. >> Let's stop kidding ourselves, shall we? It was a conceptual mess right from the very beginning. It missed several key elements from their initial bid statement. For most managers, the process should begin with themselves with a concerted effort to assess and communicate accurately their own feelings to maintain agreement between their words and their non-verbal messages. >> Well, back at the design stage, I had doubts about the concept, which unfortunately I kept to myself. >> Not very well. I think we all knew. The question is, what can we do about it now? Well, first of all, let's uh be honest about it. It was less than what we're capable of. But the important thing is let's reorganize our bid and proposal process so the costs never get out of hand again. >> I agree. >> But assessing our own non-verbal messages is only the beginning. We must also begin to look critically at how nonverbal behavior operates at all levels of the organization. Psychologists tell us that people use non-verbal behavior to express three basic emotional attitudes. The degree of like or dislike we feel towards another person. The degree of dominance or submissiveness we feel towards another person. And the degree of responsiveness, the sheer amount of reaction, positive or negative, that another person may arouse in us. For instance, the same verbal greeting can convey distinctly different messages. You see, if you take the overruns and apply them to the underbudget accounts, then the savings are significant. I'm on to something here. I know. >> Sounds good. George, tell Mr. Cahill about it. I'm sure I'll be pleased. >> That's just what I'm waiting for now. >> Oh. Uh, good morning, Tom. >> Oh, good morning, Mr. Cahill. >> Good morning, Carolyn. >> I didn't know you were already in this morning. >> Yes, I've started pairing down on our proposal budget after that fiasco. >> Morning, George. George, I want you to know that the president and I are extremely concerned about the cost overruns. It's crucial that we solve this financial problem. >> Well, I think I figured out a way to cover the proposal costs. Now, here's what we can do. >> Regardless of the words spoken, only a person who felt themselves lower in status would walk backwards to retain the attention of another. And only one who felt themselves of higher status would continue to walk forward while being addressed. >> The cost over >> Interesting. exactly what you project the savings to be. >> Uh well, we haven't finished breaking it down yet, but we're working on it. >> Well, fine. As soon as you come up with some figures, send me a memo. Okay, >> sure. See you later. >> As Americans, we are generally uncomfortable with the reality of status and position. As a consequence, we reflect our recognition of them most accurately through our non-verbal behavior. For instance, it is generally left to the person perceived to be of higher status to initiate casual conversation with persons of lower status. >> Well, good morning. >> Ironically, any attempts we make to deal with issues of status verbally often only serve to increase our discomfort. >> I must lose a week of work every year waiting for these elevated. Huh? >> We also communicate interpersonally by proximity. That is by the size of that bubble of personal space we all carry around with us out to about a foot and a half. Most Americans reserve this space for intimate conversations, whispers from close acquaintances. From a foot and a half to about 4 feet for normal casual interactions beyond about 4T out to the limit of hearing for impersonal transactions. We naturally reflect non-verbbally our recognition of status by granting those with higher status a larger bubble. However, this is a cultural convention. When we're confronted by someone from another culture whose bubble is significantly smaller than our own, we may feel they are being aggressive or disrespectful. Conversely, they may see us as cold and standoffish. When crowded into an artificially small environment, we may feel our personal space is being violated. Which explains why on elevators, for instance, we typically go silent and fix our gaze on the floor indicator panel. >> Hey, Scott. About tomorrow night, so it'll be a little >> One of a manager's most common tasks is communicating instructions to subordinates. To ensure that they are carried out effectively, the manager must be aware of the effect of the non-verbal messages they project along with the spoken ones. >> Marian, I have to make this little speech to every department head including you. >> Casual posture, low expressiveness and vocalics, a minimum of eye contact, all suggest high unchallenged dominance, average liking, and low responsiveness. >> Six months ago, we decided to let the department heads sign their own requisitions for outside services and supplies. We thought it would uh save time and paperwork and money. Well, it hasn't worked out that way. Some people are buying things they don't need and hiring for services they could get inhouse with with a little patience. American managers most often show dominance not through aggressive commanding postures but rather relaxed expansive gestures. On the other hand, employees may communicate submissiveness by remaining alert and somewhat tense. Giving more attention than they receive has been undermining our viability. Now, no one's accusing anyone in particular. It's just that we tried something and we're finding out it's not working. So, we're going back to the old system. From now on, Mike's office will have to clear every requisition the way it was before. I know it's tedious, but we have this cash flow problem and we've got to deal with it. Okay. [Music] Mark I have to make this same little speech to every department head, including you. As >> when a manager senses unspoken defiance of their authority, they may reassert it nonverbbally. >> Come up with some changes >> in ways that have nothing to do with the verbal message at hand. >> Be aware of remember six months ago when we decided to let department head sign their own requisitions for outside services and supplies. We thought that would save time and paperwork and money. Well, it just hasn't been working out that way. Some people are buying things they really don't need and hiring for services they could get inhouse with a little patience. Well, given the new environment around here, that's all got to stop. low liking, high dominance, high responsiveness, all expressed through vocalics, eye contact, facial expression, as well as proximity and posture >> has been undermining our viability. No one is accusing anyone in particular. It's just that we've tried something and we're finding out that it's not working. >> In an attempt to avoid conflict, a manager may consciously divorce their own personal views or attitudes from their verbal message. However, the resulting double message may ironically breed even more conflict. >> Cash flow problem and we've got to deal with it. Okay. [Laughter] Okay. You win. You win. Ah, Elliot, I've got to make the same little speech to every department head, including you. >> Casual posture, close proximity, vocalics, eye contact, all suggest high liking, high responsiveness, and almost equal dominance. >> Remember 6 months ago when we decided to let the department head sign their own requisitions for outside services and supplies? I believe so. We thought it was going to save time, paperwork, and money. Well, it hasn't worked out that way at all. >> When managers communicate with their peers, they tend to relax more and be more outgoing. This, in turn, may work against them by trivializing the message they are attempting to communicate. >> Undermining our viability here. >> So, we're going to go back to the old system. From now on, Mike's office will have to clear every requisition the way it was done before. I know it's tedious, but we have this cash flow problem, and we've got to deal with it. Okay. I prefer the old system. >> Good. Lunch 1:30. >> Right. >> Well, he made me feel like I uh I'd been stealing Kleenex or something. No, really. Don't you think Mr. Cahill was very upset about the cash flow problem? I'd say that. >> I didn't sense that at all. In fact, he seemed to laugh the whole thing off. >> Are you kidding? No. >> No, you're joking. You just watch. Cahill is out to blame this whole thing on me. >> Oh, no. No. >> Blame what on you? Three meetings, three employees, identical words, identical verbal messages. And yet, when the non-verbal component is computed into the communications equation, what a different effect. The message for managers is simple. Non-verbal communication may be a far greater determinant of employee productivity and motivation than any other single thing a manager says or does. >> We're not the ones that are making a big deal. There's a hidden benefit in paying more attention to the silent messages we all send and receive. That's because the way we interpret non-verbal communication from others depends upon our own non-verbal style. By being aware that non-verbal communication uses a special language with its own syntax and rules, we'll be better able to express our own goals and those of our organizations together. Heat. Heat. [Applause] Heat. Heat. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]