Building Better Paragraphs

[Music] [Music] this is the story of how our class began to understand how to build paragraphs it began one morning while we were getting ready for school I was getting the Blackboard ready when all of a sudden it was Susan she'd brought something to class and do you know that was how we really began to learn how to write good paragraphs this is what happened what is that Susan it's surprise my dog madej her one at the dog show yes yesterday oh that's wonderful Susan what did he do to win it oh lots of things the thing he did best was called jumping the hurdles I had to throw a wooden dumbbell over the hurdle and then major had to get it and bring it back to me he did that and everything else so well that he won first prize that's just wonderful Susan Mrs Clark why doesn't Susan write about her prize for the school paper what do you think Susan well well would you rather have someone else write the story oh yes all right then who would like to write the story let's see Janet Bill and Charlie all right now let's get out our p and papers and have some writing exercise well that's the way it began Janet and Bill and Charlie asked Susan all about her dog major and about the dog show and about the prize and soon the story was written but something was wrong with it what was it but it just doesn't sound right to me now it seems all jumbled up yeah it sure is Mrs Clark yes Janet what is it the story is all mixed up but we don't know what to do let's see let me read you just one of the paragraphs you've written and you try to imagine what each sentence tells major jumped over the hurdle major is a big dog almost as big as Susan last year in a show major walked around the hurdle instead of jumping Susan has been training him all year in her backyard the judge gave Susan the prize major had won he brought the dumbbell back to Susan and sat down in front of her at the show this year she was very disappointed last year when he didn't win well could you tell what was wrong how many main ideas should there be in a paragraph well one main idea that's right a paragraph should have just one main idea let's look at the paragraph again all right um well look we say how major jumped how big he is about last year and how Susan trained him the paragraph's about too many things why do we really want to tell about in this paragraph about how well major jumped over the hurdles and that should be in the topic sentence and that is when we began to understand how to build good paragraphs when they started to write the story they gathered lots of information it was just like having a lot of snapshots about the dog show but all the snapshots are mixed up one doesn't lead to the next so it's hard to understand what happened that's the way we begin working on most stories but now they want to write a paragraph about this main idea how major jumped the hurdle they pick out all information which tells about major jumping the hurdle and just that information when they are sure they have all the information picked out that relates to the main idea they are ready to arrange all of it into a paragraph first the main idea is put into the topic sentence then under it comes how Susan gave major the command then how major jumped the hurdle how he picked up the dumbbell and jumped back with it in his mouth how he came to sit in front of her so she could take the dumbbell and finally how he sat beside her when it was over you see we arranged the information under the main idea so we have a clear idea of what happened that's what Janet Bill and Charlie have been doing selecting and arranging the information for their paragraph if they have done a good job we should understand what the paragraph tells about let's find out all right I'll read it to you listen one of the tests major had to pass was jumping the hurdle when Major's turn to perform came Susan threw a wooden dumbbell over the hurdle then at a signal from Susan major ran and jumped over the hurdle on the other side he picked up the dumbbell and jumped back over again he sat down directly in front of Susan then Susan took the dumbbell and major turned to sit at her side well that's it it's good only it doesn't seem finished we need a good sentence to end it that's all one like our first sentence about the main idea what about nature had jumped the hurdle very well but we know that already major ad jump the hurdle even better than Susan had hoped he would after we've written a paragraph we go over it and ask is it a good paragraph does it tell about only one main idea remember how confusing the paragraph Was when it discussed several main ideas the second question is does the topic sentence tell the main idea interestingly check your topic sentences get your paragraphs off to a good start third have you selected and arranged the information in order remember in building a good paragraph We select and arrange information under main ideas the last question is does the concluding sentence finish the paragraph does it really complete the main idea we have found these questions helpful in building good paragraphs but Janet Bill and Charlie were the ones who really began to help us learn how to build better paragraphs they not only had written one good paragraph for their story they also made a list of the main ideas for each paragraph in their story this was such a good plan and each of them was going to choose one main idea to write a paragraph about why don't you would you like to write a paragraph describing major remember what he looks like what other information will you want to include in a description of major you may want to write a paragraph telling what happened at last year's show perhaps you will want to write a paragraph telling how you think Susan trained major before he won the prize at the dog show this paragraph is the one they wrote or you may want to choose this idea the prize major one but whatever you choose after you've written your paragraph check it remember to use these questions to build better paragraphs [Music]