ALL MY TOMORROWS

[Music] [Music] [Music] five minutes [Music] Opie Borner OB Porter [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I wish I could tell you why it all happened how sure but why that's what would be important to know [Music] me I wasn't so different from other girls I liked a good time who who doesn't some times I was Restless bored out of sorts felt sorry for myself I had this kind of dumb job where I couldn't make enough to be out on my own so I still had to live with my folks with mom and dad always telling me what I could and couldn't do this is the way it's going to be I don't want to hear another word about it I'm telling you this for your own good mom was having sort of these nervous spells and I don't know she was finding fault with me half the time made me sort of nervous too sometimes I'd sneak some of her tranquilizers you know kind of help you ride things out dad always seemed to have a lot on his mind sort of remote but sometimes annoyed especially at me Chris was in that real fresh stage a real pain Oh mom of course on his body was perfect everything was all sort of blah just one stupid day after another it sounds silly now but I kind of thought life was passing me by you got any plan for tonight not after I get off work six months and three days ago just ten days before Christmas Wayne stopped by and asked me to go to a party at Fred and Mary Ellen's place okay sure yeah I always felt kinda excited when I was with Wayne I never knew kind of what he do next I'm not so crazy about that boy parties with Wayne were fun someone always had some grass and there was always plenty of beer sometimes wine I think drastic you know just something different from the real drag parties mom and dad wanted me to go to after going out with Wayne I wouldn't feel so Restless for a while I mean sort of feel like that was where the action was by the time we got to Freddy Mary Ellen's [Music] [Music] and feeling when you having a good time [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] okay I was feeling kind of you know free not worrying about it some of the kids were popping Reds I've never done that but I always heard that if you wanted to real high that was the way to go [Music] I thought it would be fun to try I mean why not it sounded exciting and I was always gung ho for anything exciting just a few little old pills down with wine and away we fly really sort of soup [Music] after a while I began to feel strange don't be really sort of out of it brain kind of shook me I got don't be me couldn't keep my eyes I lay down on the bed and they forgot about me for a while finally Wayne tried to rouse me oh my god she stopped breathing can she hear you no she's not moving at all Peggy Peggy can you hear me out of the way you don't even know what's matter with her she's breathing call somebody someone tried to give me mouth-to-mouth resuscitation the ambulance people came some of the kids split breathing on this gear on the floor when he was scared to death but he stayed [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] anybody know anybody know what her name is out there Peggy Watson how old is she she's you know where she lives gently and then you're set I'll go ahead and idea what you took do you have any of them around still if somebody could please find him he looks like a toaster super violent all yeah i know i'm pretty potent how much you have to drink they rushed me to the hospital wailing in the night looks like an OD well alcohol barbiturates - what's good - some set up my dad sends out a half an hour ago pressure was you doing - going away yeah give me a blood pressure cuff share a bond that was out there 16 a lot of people's have been reactors all along having a strip they're gonna look good Ezri kid you my parents arrived at the hospital they hovered and waited while the doctors burst over me for cute me I was crazy I didn't mean to do anything wrong I'll be all right I'll never do anything like this again I've learned my lesson I'll be all right [Music] [Music] no one can help me get well I mean the days go by the weeks the months and I'm helpless they feed me with a tube of my nose they catheterize me so I can urinate they bathed me brush my hair and I lie here with a hopelessly damaged brain no good to myself no good to anyone else it isn't fair I'm not a bad person I never wanted to hurt anyone I only wanted to have a little fun a few drinks and a few crazy pills and now this mother comes every day she won't give up hope she prays by my bedside mother why did I never know how much you loved me dad's face has grown accusing what have you done to us he seems to be asking me you ruined your life dragged mother and me to the brink of despair lunged us neck deep in debt what have you done you were such a dear little girl so loving so affectionately what happened along the way sometimes Chris comes he doesn't want to look at me but he can't help staring Oh Chris don't hate me so I know everything's miserable for you at home now can you ever forgive me Chris why don't you die when comes now and then he feels so guilty he ever carefully PEGI listen you gotta know this the drug scene you know I've knocked it off Peggy totally you want to hear something crazy I'm into nature foods and jogging green do you remember that once I was pretty [Music] they say I've been here six months in three days and you know what today's my birthday I'm 19 [Music] happy birthday Peggy there's mom with the birthday she remembers how much I always loved a birthday [Applause] [Music] [Applause] mother mother it solves such a rotten joke do I go on like this forever not dead not alive [Music] why did this have to happen to me I never meant to do any harm really I didn't what did I ever do to deserve such a punishment [Music]