ALCOHOL: SHE HAS A CHOICE

[Music] there are women in your community who are suffering from a problem that is ruining friendships dividing families and destroying lives the problem more parent in women today than ever before is a disease called alcoholism women who have the disease understood and thought to be experiencing a severe emotional problem becoming aware of the myths usually associated with a woman alcoholic and understanding some of the major symptoms of alcoholism will better prepare you to help a friend or relative who may have the disease see if you know the answers to the true or false questions about the following myths true or false everybody knows the woman alcoholic is a some old gal who neg Le her appearance her work her family just doesn't care actually less than 5% of the alcoholic women in our country fit The skido Stereotype I guess I thought an alcoholic was a person who was in the gutter with the raincoat over them and a bottle of wine in a paper bag I always Associated a feeling of embarrassment a feeling of Shame whenever I thought of a woman in alcoholism I thought the alcoholic was a skido bum and that an alcoholic woman in particular was nothing but a and uh being an alcoholic with a family I felt like a because my um selfworth had gotten so low that uh even though I wasn't on skid r or lived in downtown area I felt that way true or false alcoholism has always been considered a man's disease historically men have had the socially accepted freedom to drink in public the ratio of alcoholic men to women may actually be 50/50 we don't know if there are more women with alcoholism today or whether women are becoming more willing to ask for help I don't think that I had ever heard of a woman who was an alcoholic I always Associated alcoholism with men and and the Very words simply can't be associated with our society's image of the ideal mother or the feminine woman I felt there was quite a stigma against alcoholism uh alcoholism was a man's disease and most alcoholics lived under the bridge down him it was certainly not a late anything that a lady would have true or false the alcoholic cannot be helped until she wants help it seemed like everyone I talked to everywhere I went people were saying the same thing go to get help and it they kept repeating it over and over and over and I finally just thought to heck with them I'll go to get them off my back and thank god it worked and finally not knowing what was wrong with me but thinking I was crazy not like any human being on Earth I I just asked God to help me I sought help I do believe that the individual must want help but I also know that it took the people around me who sincerely cared about me who loved me to tell me that I needed help because I didn't know that I knew that my life was unmanageable I knew I was miserable I knew I had terrible feelings of inadequacy but I didn't know that it was because of my alcoholism they had to tell me over and over again if anybody had only done it once and then stopped I would never have had the opportunity to get well one day I've been drinking all day long and I was very drunk when bill came home he sat me down on the sofa and he said in a very cool calm voice you are an alcoholic you will have to do something about your drinking if you don't do something about your drinking and I will give you two weeks I will call a lawyer there will be a divorce and I will take the children I knew at that time that I had to do something and quickly about the drinking and I made my decision to do so the following day true or false alcoholism is just a symptom of an underlying emotional or personality problem alcoholism is a disease and is treatable the AMA has taken such a position yes while emotional problems may be involved first the alcoholism must be treated the earlier it is recognized the easier it is to treat the only way to recognize alcohol is to know the early symptoms I knew something was dreadfully wrong I had uh anxieties that I couldn't figure out what they were I was scared to death I it never occurred to me that it was my drinking that was causing this I was really afraid that there was something wrong with me emotionally or mentally it was the greatest thing on earth when I found out that there was I could be restored that I wasn't insane but that I had a disease and when I realized I had a disease that could be treated I was a new person women who seek professional help are often misdiagnosed and treated for emotional problems rather than for alcoholism knowing the early symptoms of alcoholism can be helpful in guiding a friend or relative whom you believe may be an alcoholic some of the early symptoms are preoccupation with drinking lying about about drinking sneaking or gulping drinks inability to predict Behavior blackouts or loss of memory and change of Tolerance preoccupation with drinking is the tendency of a person to plan her life around activities that include drinking as my drinking progressed everything I did was centered around drinking that included U baby showers I can recall asking is there going to be any beer beer served if not I just wouldn't go I'd send the gift I thought about drinking all the time I thought about it when I woke up in the morning I thought about it at breakfast I thought about it after breakfast it went on all day long until I had the first drink all of my activities were directed uh around drinking there was nothing that I wanted to do if it did not include drinking I was working in community activities and they were fine as long as the ladies would meet afterwards for drinks if we went out at night socially I was totally uninterested in accepting any invitation from anyone that did not drink and then I was sure that there was going to be enough to drink at the party lying about drinking is often done by the alcoholic to cover up the amount she has had to drink or to explain why she was drinking in the first place sometimes my husband would call me at home and ask me if I wanted him to bring me a bottle if I had something to drink and I would say no pick me up a bottle but I would always have my own private stock I would drink a little out of the bottle that he brought but I was continuously drinking out of my own bottle because I didn't want him to know how much I was drinking the grocery would remind me that now remember we don't deliver on Wednesdays and I'd say oh that's right I'm going to have a party you better send me two bottles and of course I was not going to have any party whenever I was confronted about my drinking my initial reaction was to Li about it I didn't lie about my drinking I didn't hide it I knew that was a symptom of alcoholism and it was very important to me that I wasn't an alcoholic so I was upfront about it I drank in front of the kids I talked about it everything was out in the open I thought I thought that way I could Escape it abnormal drinking Behavior such as sneaking drinks or gulping drinks can signal the existence of a problem an alcoholic will sneak drinks and I certainly did that I kept a glass of gin hidden in my glass cabinet and when I was cooking dinner for the family or cooking dinner for uh guests I would liberally take large gulps of drinks out of that so that I did not have to go into the bar where everyone could see me I drank everything out of a coffee mug and one night I took my coffee mug to the dinner table with me announcing I was drinking water and as I sat down I saw two olives in the bottom of the mug and realized that it was straight vodka in there and was scared to death someone would find out the inability of the alcoholic to control her drinking can trigger an apparent conflict in values and behavior my behavior was in total conflict with my value system I was so obsessed with drinking that if I needed a drink or needed a bottle I thought nothing of taking money from even the kids piggy banks I had quit almost every one of my jobs due to drinking of course the employers didn't know the company nurse didn't know they attributed to my bad marriage and a nervous condition when I was drinking I didn't feel that it was interfering with my work but now that I've been sober I know that I didn't give my employer a good8 hours my daughter was having an operation and I had drank the night before and I didn't want to drink the night before I really felt bad about that therefore the morning in the operation I was terribly nervous I was terribly anxious and the operation took longer and it was hard for me to sit and we went home before she got out of recovery when I got home I drank about five beers I was Zapped out when she called asking for help and when I heard this that I couldn't even I was in no shape to go to the hospital I felt terribly guilty and I just hated myself therefore I drank more to cover up those SK fa among the most misunderstood of the symptoms is the blackout the person experiencing blackouts does not pass out but rather has a loss of memory while drinking she may appear sober and may function normally as though nothing unusual is happening but will not recall any of the events that occurred during the blackout shortterm losses of memory often account for the alcoholic being confused about appointments or Arrangements it is impossible to tell when a person person is experiencing a blackout I had Monumental blackouts uh I've heard people say that they lost ends of evenings or maybe sometimes a little bit more time than that I had blackouts of the type that I would blackout for two and three days and the only way I would be able to find out what day it was was by looking at the morning paper I was in a blackout and he had promised my two daughters that I would um go to this school function however when I came out of the blackout I had forgotten all about it since they didn't know I was in a blackout they didn't mention it again and I didn't show up and it was a day when they were already in school therefore they thought I was coming well when they came home that night you know they were really upset they were embarrassed they were crying um they they were very disappointed and I felt like about two cents the guilt again the hatred for myself didn't know how to handle that uh thinking about it made me very nervous so I just drank and forgot about it I experienced blackouts or loss of memory that were both long-term and short term one lasted for as long as 12 days and resulted in my getting into treatment but really the most devastating were the short-term ones I might promise a child to pick up a particular book the next day and not remember it and the child of course is then left feeling angry and frustrated and disappointment and there was no way I could deal with that other than to blame somebody else in the family so the anger grew and grew and certainly the frustration did my phone rang one evening and it was a neighbor calling to thank me for picking her daughter up at school that day I didn't have any memory of picking her daughter up at school nor did I have any idea that I had gone into the school at that time and talked to the girls counselor alcoholism cannot be diagnosed on the basis of how much a person drinks because alcohol affects different people in different ways it is not how much alcohol is consumed but rather what happens to a person when she drinks early in my drinking I could handle large amounts of beer I could um drink way past anybody else I would drive people home and uh I was noted for a boy I could handle my beer like a man uh as my drinking progressed I could handle less and less toward the end of my drinking two beers black out then I would take 20 valum and just be frantic the next day about where' those volumes Go I mean I crawl on the floor search down the couch and chair and I had taken them and I don't know how I survived some of those times but it's that my tolerance had gone down I needed the valume uh if I didn't have the beer I never went out with the inten of getting drunk I went out to have a few drinks in a nice evening but always I never could stop at that one drink or two drinks or three drinks it wasn't really the amount I drank it the effect that it had on me I didn't believe that I could be an alcoholic because I knew people who drank so much more than I did as time passed and as my disease progressed though I drank more and more and my tolerance certainly increased and then a thing happened that really was even more confusing than ever before and that was that the tolerance dropped again and I could have only one drink and be drunk or one drink and go into a blackout this was very very frightening because I never knew what was going to happen once I began to drink the nature of alcoholism is such that a woman can't see what her drinking is doing to her life or how it is affecting the lives of those around her her at home and in business since the problem of alcoholism affects the entire family it has to be considered a family disease it may seem loving to protect the woman and help her to conceal the problem when what she really needs is an understanding husband employer or friend to confront her lovingly with the facts however the person doing the confronting will need professional guidance and support to deal effectively with the alcoholic if you suspect a friend or Rel has a problem with alcohol seek guidance about the disease for yourself so you'll know the best way to handle your particular situation remember these early symptoms preoccupation with drinking lying about drinking sneaking or gulping drinks inability to predict Behavior blackouts or loss of memory and change of Tolerance the symptoms discussed here are only a few of the common signs of alcoholism if you notice any of them in the life of a friend or relative seek help and advice so you can proceed to help the person effectively through confrontation don't try to hide or cover up the problem alcoholism is a progressive disease and always gets worse if untreated for