Across Five Aprils: A Time To Choose: Robert C. Peters

it was April of 1861 I remember because I was 9 years old and talk of war between the states was on everyone's mind morning Jess you're just in time for the show hey you come back here can I use your old shoes Tom my feet grow it out of my own well you can have what's left of them what's the matter Jenny too fast for you if you boys plan on eating T that you best help I'm chasing to You Kenny you just be [Music] ready if it were Shad he'd have been caught by now it were Shad he wouldn't have been running [Music] I'm going to take you over my knee Jenny well go ahead and try you know I can whoop you get out of there help your sister but Paul do you have something to say no sir [Applause] [Music] your M's been looking for you Jeff yes sir morning Jeff glad you seen bit join me sorry ma'am reckon I over slip both a boy of your age can have that privilege every now and then just don't tell your PA I said so Bill say he's going to help me read that book he BR from Newton Bill spend as much time plowing as he does reading them books we might finish the plan on time this spring bill says Lincoln don't want war he says we want to preserve the union I re so but why he's so against having blood on people's hands that he's a feared to start a war well it's like a man standing where two roads meet je one road is dark and fearsome as the other there ain't a good choice between the two and yet a choice got to be made on that fine spring spring day I didn't have a care in the world war met loud brass music and Shining horses ridden by men wearing uniforms finer than any suit in the stores of Newton War sounded like a fine idea besides anything that might bring a little excitement to Southern Illinois sounded good to me someone's coming [Music] oh well in the name of all that's good Wills Graham what brings you from K tuck this time of year well I had some dealings in these parts and I figured it was worth an extra day driving to come visit can you put me and my team up for the night only if you have a mind to eat my daughter's cooking well if it's anything like yours I can taste it already W looks right good Jenny thank you cousin Wills we might have got cake and fixings as Shad had been eating with us can't help but feel sorry for poor Shad Jenny's been feeding him so nice lately he won't be able to say no comes Lea Year Jenny is furing away too young to be thinking about Chad or any other young man well KCK seced Wills maybe Uncle Matt you folks are closer by a lot to Missouri and Kentucky than you are to the Big Wigs up in Chicago your Southern folks down here we're from Kentuck as you well know a roots are in that state but it's a separation that won't do wills we're a union separated we're just two weakened puny pieces each needing the other time comes when a man's got to stand up for himself Uncle M North has become arrogant toward the south soon see a starve than give an inch it might cost him a penny that ain't how it is tell them Bill you've been reading about it seems to me it's greed that's slavery it's stirring up all this trouble men's hearts is just as bad above the Mason Dixon line as below all the South wants it to be left alone you mean left alone to carry slavery into every new territory to spread the shame across this land till democracy gets to be a word that only hypocrit can stomach even if there is a war it only be a breakfast spell we could teach them Southern Boys a thing or two right e soldiers up here can take the South faster and it takes coffee to cool off for swallow it I hate to break the news to you boys but South can fight for years if need be enough there will be no more talk of War at this table and we'll eat as a family that respects and honors our kin we're all troubled and our feelings is running high but if War comes no matter what to cause it ain't any of our business ain't our fight there's plenty of work to be done right here without you boys running off to fight another man's War Shad the Confederates they fired on Fort Suter the papers are full of it what happened Anderson's men had been on starvation rations for days the president warned Governor Pickin of South Carolina of his intention to send in Provisions but the Confederates demanded they give up the fort a southern General board gave warning then opened fire Before Dawn Friday morning and Anderson we held out for more than 30 hours surrendered the fort Saturday afternoon you mean our man give it up what else could he do they hadn't eaten since Thursday night Lincoln's asked for 75,000 volunteers I'll tell you what I'm going to do I'm going to get in this war just as quick as I can make it it me too just a minute mister I'd like to get a word in right here this is exactly what old A's been waiting for just exactly what he wanted well fine someone ought to Telegraph congratulations to him listen here Mister this here is Southern Illinois you want to step outside where's your manners boy WIS is a blood relation I'm sorry Paul but the time's come EB and me is going let them go boys made up their mind a long time ago under the circumstances I'd better be going thank you for the meal Aunt Ellen is it War bill it's War all right I always figured everyone would be happy when war came I was wrong things would be a lot different from here on out break it up what's going on here it's between him and me well I ain't for butting in another man's business when he comes to tearing up my barn that's another thing he started it I don't care who started it why did it happen hard feelings Paul feelings have finally come out in hard words I ain't got nothing to say like you said he's between us better get some ointment Jenny and a damp rag get in cleaned up your boy's got a lot of cleaning up to do out here I'll never forget the sick feeling I had in my stomach that day I'd seen Bill and John argue before but never like that I guess it was the first time I realized Bill didn't think the same way as the rest of the family [Music] we need to talk [Music] J de mul tell you about when John and me was was little and going to school for the first time I'd get a book and say to Paul what's that word Paul when he tell me I'd turn to John and say did Paul call it right Johnny mom Paul used to laugh at that they was always set up at John and me being so close but things are different now the time's come and I have to fight I'm leaving Jeff don't go bill please don't go je I want you to go I don't think I can stand it Jeff there's a lot of things in the years ahead that you'll have to stand you can't count count on crying to make him ride you fighting for the [Music] ribs I've studied this thing [Music] j and my heart ain't in this war but if I have to fight I reckon it'll be for the Sou [Music] I know you always wanted one I made it [Music] myself you take care of yourself get old and learning you can [Music] ma always said that if you watched a loved one as he leaves you for a long journey it's like it's not to be the last look at him you'll ever have news of the war took weeks sometimes even months to reach us on the farm when a letter came from Tom that spoke of terrible things Paul sent me to see Shad so he could read it for himself I take pencil in hand to let you know that EB and me is all right us boys didn't do much fighting at Fort Henry but at Donaldson I can tell you we made up for it we was marching toward the fort when we done a foolish thing the weather was like a hot April day back home some of us boys got tired of carrying heavy coats and blanket rolls and we just up and throwed them away but as soon as we got to Donaldson the weather turned cold some of the boys was so sick they froze to death in the snow I felt sick when I looked at them and so I am not so proud out a Donaldson as maybe I ought to be I miss your good cooking Ma and tell Jeff that being a soldier ain't so much Yours Truly Tom still cold nothing to speak of it's brutal business jet things will probably get worse before they get better guess old a has troubles over and above any of us that's Mr Lincoln CH I think a lot of Mr Lincoln Chad you know that I know you do I wished I could talk to the president to explain to him about Bill he has to consider Men by the thousands that think the way Bill does Bill wasn't right in his thinking was he you're going to hear some harsh things said about him Jeff but remember it took far more courage for Bill to do what he did than it does for John and I to join the union once the snow melts I miss Bill I know how's Jenny she's pretty sad Paul's been talking to her about being too young for marrying me I Know M letter but Paul sometimes Paul can be so good then again he can be awful strict I respect him an awful lot and I'd be willing to wait years for Jenny if it wasn't for the war but when I think of leaving her maybe for a long time I I guess Panic just hits me a little well after you go who'll teach come spring maybe no one either way I'm leaving my books in your care I want you and Jenny to study as much as you can we're letting ourselves get too depressed how's your appeti I'll sent that fresh bread for her supper good I think I'll even sit out some of Jenny's Peach preserves by way of Celebration I would remember that night forever the warm fire the good food and everything Shad said the snow eventually melted and the day Jenny and I had dreaded finally came be sure I'm right every chance I get goodbye Jenny be [Music] careful bye Shad bye John come on J bye boys bye [Music] that spring hundreds of deserters poured into Southern Illinois most of them were desperate men and they'd stop at nothing to get what they wanted we were out of supplies and Paul was afraid to leave Ma and Jenny alone so the job fell to me I was 10 and it was a man's job to manage a team all the way way to town and back but I was determined to make Paul proud you're sure you can handle it nothing to it Paul just keep a level head and use gumption You' got the word smooth enough on your tongue anyhow hold on to him firm pay attention remember you're a kraton you mind your manners don't worry about a thing Paul well then you'd best get going it's 15 minutes miles a road ahead get out [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] afternoon son what can I do for you I'd like to trade these for some coffee and sugar well now you're a mighty young fell to be doing such important business well I'm almost 11 my PA wants me to trade the saxs of corn I got in my wagon for the things on this list and uh who might your paw be Matt Katon sir greaton Is It You Bing town with you today boy no sir rung the team in myself no trouble at [Laughter] all see he ain't here to answer I wonder if wonder if youd be of them mind to tell us where your brother Bill is these days well we ain't hear from Bill since he left that's a pretty answer you only most folks around here L he's down south shooting our boys alongside them revs what do you think bero Matt kraton talked folks into sparing your boy Travis a few years ago reckon if his boy ever shows his face around here again you can talk folks into sparing him H that's telling him Workman let folks keep their argument with Bill Matt has two or three sons in the Union Army well if the editor of the county paper ain't against freedom of speech I'd like to put one more question to the boy here is your Paul good and down on your brother and does he teach you that he's a skunk for going against his country my PA don't teach me one way or the other he knows I think more of my brother than anybody else in the world no matter where he is and that's all I got to say to you mister good for you son yeah well I'll say this I don't think you round a mob so easy to go against the BAU if it was a matter between them and the kraton this year I'm sorry you had to hear that kind of talk son I might not like what Bill did but I can't help thinking you're right and standing up for your brother I got your list young fell I'll make sure you get everything you need that's a fine idea Sam I knew your brother Bill well he and the school Master used to visit the newspaper office when they came to town yeah they'd be Shad they was good friends I was real close with both of them can you read yes sir Shad left his books with my sister and me right now I'm reading about the president well then young shad's quite a good influence on you huh he's a real fine teacher well you're lucky to have a teacher that you liked I hated most of mine when I was your age you boys help me load this wagon there was one though old Doc Bailey he had a wooden leg well he used to storm around the schoolhouse like a mad elephant screaming and bumping into things one day his leg got stuck in a knole and snapped clean off starting for home soon Katon I allow to as soon as I get a newspaper from AA I here take mine latest edition compliments to the editor thank you much Mr Milton I sure do appreciate it I reckon that's everything young fell I best be going then say hello to your folks for me yes sir get in at first the miles seemed to pass faster than they had on the trip into town but after several hours I was tired and ready to get home the only thing that stood in my way was the forest [Music] I RVE with you peace boy ain't got no reason to be feared I ain't going to harm you n come on come on get on up [Music] come on walk up come on [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] go on homeboy ain't going to back you anymore get him get him je we was worried boy what is it son there's some men in town they was upset at us cratons cuz Bill is fighting for the ribs [Music] what's wrong run to Ed Turner's right way and have him P the dock and hurry get some water in the blanket Ste the strain of the war and maintaining the family was beginning to take its toll Paul had a stroke and lost all the feeling in his side he was going to live but he'd never be the same again again the battles went on Bull Run Shiloh handum one thing was for sure with another winner around the corner and no word from the boys it looked like the war was going to last a lot longer than folks thought it was definitely more than just a breakfast spell little did we know that the Civil War my brothers fought would go down in the annals of History changing the face of our young country forever [Music] h [Music]