A/V Geeks 16mm Lunch 3-3-2026

All right. You can hear me. Um I'll explain it live. So, I started the stream on time, but it didn't show up on YouTube at all. And I don't know what happened, but I just restarted it. So, anyways, I'm Skip Alsemar. Welcome to the Geeks Lunchtime Streaming Show, where, you know, technology, man. And this is stuff I don't know I don't know what it is. Don't know how it works. But, it's nice outside. Uh it was great yesterday. Today, also exciting news uh late last week, uh and I will share it with you uh from my friends at the Library of Congress. Enjoy. My name is Courtney Bulscher. I'm an archives technician here in the nitrate film vaults. >> [music] >> Um and this is George Willeman. I'm the nitrate film vault leader here at [music] the nitrate film vaults. And we are the discoverers. >> [laughter] >> We didn't really know about this collection until it was pretty much in the door and then it was brought to us [music] by the by Jason. This film arrived to us in September [music] of 2025 after taking a long car trip in a Toyota Camry from Michigan to Culpeper, [music] Virginia. This was from Bill and Mary McFarland who decided to make the trip because [music] they really wanted to see the facility and it makes a lot of sense because he had been keeping [music] this for a very long time and wanted to see it get into the right hands. Bill's great grandfather, William Frisbee, >> [music] >> uh was a person who loved technology and in the late 19th century must have bought a projector and a bunch of films [music] and decided to drive them around in his buggy to share them with folks in Pennsylvania, Ohio, New York. [music] And while we were giving them a tour of the facility, we found something very special. [music] We had just been gifted a lost uh George Méliès film, uh Googou and the Automaton, a film that also contains probably the [music] first instance of a robot ever captured in a moving image. And so we started winding through this film and when this film came up, he was like, "I think this is a Méliès >> [music] >> film cuz there's a little star." He recognized George. He emailed [music] his friend who's an expert and he got back to you within And within within the day he got back and he was like, "You have a lost Méliès film, Googou and the Automaton." And so we're like, "Oh, okay, that's pretty cool." >> [music] >> You know, I've worked with nitrate for decades now, [music] and it never ceases to amaze me uh how sturdy and long-lasting this material could be. >> [music] >> We have safety film prints that are less than 20 years old that no longer run. We have [music] video tapes that are unusable. And yet, here's a nitrate print from 1895 that we were able to identify just by looking at it, and it's already been scanned. >> [music] >> This movie has made it from a buggy in rural Pennsylvania to a Camry in Michigan to Culpeper and to the hands of our technicians [music] at the Library of Congress. And now, with the work we can do on it here, we can share it with the entire world wherever they are [music] and whenever they want it. Uh so, some of you recognize Jason Groth. Uh Jason used to be a librarian at NC State Library. And during COVID, we would do live not at the library screenings with Jason and with experts from NC State. And I would show films from my collection, and then we would talk about them. So, and Jason, unfortunately, has moved, which is sad because I very much enjoyed him and his wife. But, they're not that far away. And uh to see him mentioning the word Camry so many times in a press release is kind of hilarious. But, uh yeah. So, uh and then I know George Willeman. I've known him for quite a while. Uh we were both from the same part of Ohio. Um and uh yeah. So, he's worked in the nitrate vaults for quite a while. and uh you will see him occasionally in documentaries about old film. But uh yeah, so here's the actual film. Uh Méliès, in case you don't remember or know, uh there's a film uh Scorsese made about him called Hugo, which uh it's about this guy who made a bunch of films, a former shoemaker, uh magician, who uh yeah, made a bunch of films. So, here's uh Gugusse and the Automaton. It's silent. Enjoy. It's only a minute long. Yeah, so they're little trick films uh and he uh used all sorts of effects. Uh some of the stuff that he uses as a magician and some of the stuff that he he realized in camera special effects that he could do. So, if you don't know anything about Georges Méliès, look it up. There's lots of great stuff that he's done over the years. And we have some stuff. It's like a dupe of a dupe of a dupe on 16. But, yeah. All right. Well, good news. Bottoms up, everybody. >> [music] [music] >> That drinking time around the globe when friends and lovers meet. When glasses click, they choose the toast each country likes the most. The English toast is "Gain [music] cheery-o." Which what they say. And today hear them say, "Eat some fine dine and day." But east and west they mean the same in each and every town. Bottoms up. Drink her down. >> [music] >> Before the Chinese dine, first they drink some rare old wine. Let us hear what's inside the ancient Chinese toast, "Kam gai." In Luchow and Suchow they mean the same in each [music] and every town. Bottoms up. Drink her down. >> [music] >> But ain't no coconut milk that they drink in Kalua. And they mean, "Will you, babe?" When they toast to Kalua. In Bora Bora they mean the same in each and every town. Bottoms up. Drink her down. >> [music] >> Down Argentina way, "Salud" is the toast they say. And they toast [singing] pretty girls in [music] the very >> [music] [music] [music] >> The Russian drink is strong. The vodka makes you sing a song. They say hey, they say ah, then they shout budem zdorovi. In Omsk and Tomsk they mean the same in each and every town. Bottoms up. Drink her down. >> [music] >> If you want some whiskey, grand, then just go to Ireland. Slainte mhath to the lovely queen. Top of the morning to you, dear. In Dublin or Dublin they mean the same [music] in each and every town. Bottoms up. Drink her down. >> [music] >> Now you've heard how around the world all friends and lovers meet. Let glasses pick and choose the toast that you all like the most. In the good old USA there's a million toasts we say. Down the hatch, here's to you, and some others pretty [singing] blue. But east to west we mean the same in each and every town. Bottoms up. DRINK HER DOWN. ALL RIGHT, we are just just steering into the all the stereotypes [laughter] with that, but um the sentiment is nice, which is yes, let's toast uh toast ourselves. Okay, uh so this uh film I've been working with some friends uh who work with the National Archives. Not Library of Congress, they are separate buildings, separate places, different things. This is part of a Armed Forces effort. It was public relations related to the military and what the military was doing at different times and places. This is It's called The Big Picture. And this is in three reels, so I'll show the first reel. So you'll see countdowns for each reel. This originates on 35. But this one's got a really interesting leader lady in it. Let's see if you can catch it at the beginning. All right, The Big Picture. Enjoy. Today, the latest weapons, coupled with the fighting skill of the American soldier, stand ready, on the alert all over the world to defend this country. You, the American people, against aggression. This is The Big Picture, an official television report to the nation from the United States Army. Now, to show you part of The Big Picture, here is Sergeant Stuart Queen. From its very birth, the United States Army has stressed in its training those qualities which make a man a good soldier. Courage, perseverance, discipline. But in a broadening era of science and discovery, when increasing demands are made on the citizen's ability simply to understand the facts which dominate his life, the bearing of arms also becomes a more complex work. And the modern soldier today needs more than his courage, his perseverance, and his willingness to obey orders. He needs those qualities which education gives him. For that reason, the Army today considers the education of its men to be of great importance. This is the story of education in the Army which we bring you today. There are many classrooms in the Army, many levels of instruction, many courses of study. But here is one that stands in a group by itself. It is an Army class on an Army post. The students are soldiers, and the curriculum, well, the curriculum is the three R's, reading, writing, [music] and arithmetic, the basic stuff of education, the fundamental tools of literacy. Why does this classroom exist? Why is it necessary for the Army, whose primary job is seeing to the nation's defense, to provide these soldiers with the educational rudiments which [music] properly occupy the attentions of a schoolboy of 10? The answer to this is sobering, not only to the Army, but to the nation as a whole. Approximately 500,000 young Americans come into the Army each year. On the basis of an Armed Forces Qualification Test, which they all take, one out of every three of these men falls into mental group four, a classification which means that their understanding is dangerously low, so low as to handicap their performance as soldiers. There are varying reasons for this. One reason is that many of these men have had little schooling, For there is a relationship between a man's capacity to understand and the education he has had. These tests show that 19 out of every 20 men coming into the army have sufficient education to be good soldiers. But one out of every 20 has not achieved the level of a fourth grade grammar school education. Regardless of the factors which may have brought about this situation, it is a problem and the responsibility which the army cannot escape if it is to develop the type of soldier required in these days of modern warfare. To the army charged with the responsibility of converting these men into effective units of a complicated fighting machine, these grim facts represent immediate and urgent problems. The transformation from civilian [music] into soldier is expensive both in time and money. It costs some $3,200 to provide a basic soldier with 16 weeks of infantry type training. For each such investment, the army, in order to operate at maximum efficiency, should be able to count on an effective soldier who can fight if the need arises. >> [music] [music] >> Tests made during the Korean conflict proved what army leaders have known for a long time. The training alone, no matter how conscientiously given, can never do the job completely. For in the end, the individual's performance as a combat soldier depends heavily on his own basic intelligence, supplemented by his educational background. Casualty rates grimly bear this out. Although enemy fire is no respecter of persons in battle, there is nonetheless a real relationship between intelligence and battle casualties. Not only because men with less intelligence suffer disproportionately high casualties, but also, tragically, because they can cause them. Out of an infantry squad of nine men, the basic army unit, four positions require varying degrees of leadership and technical ability. Qualities which demand both intelligence and the tools education must supply if basic intelligence is to function. If these men do not have the ability to handle their jobs, the entire squad will suffer. Four men out of nine. But three men out of every nine coming into the army have never been able to develop their intellectual abilities because of substandard education. And behind the fighting lines, there is always a vital need for soldiers with sufficient education to handle all the demanding technical jobs necessary to keep a complex modern army operating. So, the problem becomes serious, deadly serious. [music] This is the fundamental problem that educational deficiency poses for the army. Behind it, there are many others which add up to exorbitant costs in time and in money, >> [music] >> and in those intangibles which drain part of an army's strength. From the least intelligent and the most poorly educated of the army's soldiers comes the greater part of the army's disciplinary problems, most of the crimes and the infractions [music] of regulations. Again, these soldiers are less stable emotionally, and they suffer most of the chronic psychosomatic illnesses. The simple execution of day-to-day duties demands that every soldier be able to read and understand. [music] And finally, there is the morale problem which illiteracy brings. The soldier who never receives mail from home >> [music] >> because he can't read or write. The soldier who is embarrassed because he can't count well enough to carry on simple commerce. These are unhappy men. >> [music] >> And because their unhappiness may lead them into trouble, the army must recognize them as potential problems. These are some of the reasons why this classroom exists. To provide men who need it with the basic educational tools >> [music] >> which transform a man from an illiterate into one who can read and write and reckon. And thus develop whatever basic intellectual ability he possesses. Without this training, which is the equivalent of a fourth-grade education, [music] the army cannot use these men effectively. Since World War II, the army has worked at the problem of its poorly educated men. Now, using civilian teachers in schools like this one at all reception centers in the country, it handles the problem as soon as the men come into the army. Before they are ever assigned to a unit [music] for basic training. Although the primary purpose of this training is to benefit the army, the benefit to the men themselves is incalculable. Some of these are men who, in spite of the millions of dollars spent for public education [music] and the devotion of many thousands of school teachers, had no opportunity to learn before they came into the army. Others didn't take the opportunity. But now, most all of them are eager to learn and they respond enthusiastically to this chance to develop themselves. For many, the first chance of their lives. All right, class. With the few remaining minutes, we'll continue reading about the Declaration of Independence, which we started yesterday. Private Cameron, will you read, please? We hold those to be >> These truths. We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal, that they are endowed Endowed. >> Endowed by their creator with Certain. With certain inalienable Unalienable. Unalienable rights that that among these are life and liberty and the Pursuit. Pursuit of Happiness. >> Happiness. That these That to secure >> That to secure these rights, governments are instituted Are instituted Are instituted among men, deriving Deriving. Deriving these just powers Their just They're just powers from the consent >> Consent from the go All right, class. That'll be all for today. Report outside to your sergeant. Along with basic educational subjects, these students are instructed in military subjects, which will make their adaptation to army life easier. During the 4-week period of training, the army has an opportunity to observe these men well. Those who are judged to be incapable of learning can be processed out of the army quickly, thus saving serious problems and much useless expense later. But with the greater part of them, the training pays off for themselves and for the army. They are the ones who show promise that now, with the advantages of this instruction, they will be able to train as soldiers and do their army jobs well. An investment is yielding returns for the individual soldier, for the army, and for the nation. Each time one of these men successfully completes his course of study and receives a certificate of fourth grade equivalency. A certificate which is both an identification of the literacy he must have and a promising indication that he has the fundamental equipment to become a good soldier. Although training in the very elementary educational areas is a most important part of its educational program, the Army's interest in schooling does not by any means stop there. Its next step, in fact, is to provide an eighth grade education for those soldiers who do [music] not have one. Some installations, like Fort George G. Meade, Maryland, make this training compulsory for soldiers who have not completed grade school. Even where it is not compulsory, however, all soldiers have the privilege of receiving this kind of education. The Army provides the teachers, the classrooms, and even in some instances, duty training time. Group study classes, not only in the elementary grades, but at high school and college level, too, are conducted at Army installations all over the world. Wherever there are enough students with an interest in a certain [music] course, the Army sees to it that that course is made available to them. The soldier devotes his own time, for most of these group study courses are taken off duty, usually at night. But the Army supplies the teachers and the facilities. The Army encourages instruction on every level for the same reason that it makes education on the lower level compulsory. The greater a man's education, the greater his value to the Army. And the better a soldier he is, the better a citizen. These group study classes are conducted in various ways and serve various purposes. Some are for the primary purpose of developing the soldier's Army job specialty, so he can progress quickly in the service by meeting specific job requirements. Some are taken for high school or college credit. And some are taken by soldiers who simply want to learn something new. These students who are learning to speak German will be prepared to use their German language when their military job calls for it. Part seven, statement 61. >> [music] [music] >> Group study courses built around the time-tested close relationship between student and teacher are the most successful. But they are not the only method of study in the army. For the specific educational need of every soldier, >> [music] >> there is a specific educational method designed to help him most. To aid the individual soldier in finding exactly what his own educational needs are and exactly [music] what opportunities are available for him to fulfill them, the army provides an expert counseling service by civilian educators qualified by long training and experience. Good morning, Corporal. Morning. >> Nice to see you again. Have a seat, won't you? Uh since your last visit here, you have written to your high school principal, haven't you? I have, sir. Well, that's fine. We have received a high school transcript of your school work completed, which I have right here. According to the transcript, you will need several additional courses in order to meet the requirements for high school graduation. Now, one of these courses, in history, you may be able to take through enrolling in our evening classes here at the Army Education Center two or three nights a week. The other course, the literature course, which may not be available here in evening classes, you may take through the United States Armed Forces Institute or USAFI as it is called. Have you heard anything about the USAFI program? No, sir. The USAFI is a civilian type correspondence service school available to men and women in the Armed Forces wherever they may be stationed. I have their catalog here. Its headquarters are in Madison, Wisconsin. But it serves military personnel all over the world. Providing them with the materials for self-study and correspondence courses in a variety of fields. From the elementary grades on through the first two years of college. All in all, USAFI offers some 300 courses ranging from business law to merchandising, from biology to agriculture. There are local USAFI's in a number of the overseas areas where troops [music] are stationed. And there are mobile units to serve troops in the field. Any soldier anywhere can enroll by paying a $2 enrollment fee and then he can take as many courses as he wishes at no extra charge. USAFI sends you the books, the study materials, and the lessons. The best available on the subject you want. When you receive them, school starts. Your plan of study is all cut out for you. You study on your own time as fast as you wish. As you finish a lesson, you send it in. Your lesson gets to USAFI in the company of thousands of others. This is [music] the largest correspondence school in the world. But, your lesson gets full personal attention. The instructors at USAFI are all experts [music] in their fields. They grade your lessons, but more than that, they give you personal guidance and help. If you follow this plan, Corporal, I'm sure that you'll be able to get that diploma from your high school. Of course, your next step would be to write to the high school principal and see if these courses will meet the requirements for graduation. Most schools are happy to accept our educational program, so I'm sure that there will be no difficulty. Now, how does that sound to you? Sounds fine to me, sir. Well, that's good. The next step would be to write to your principal, and then I'll get in touch with you. By the way, I have an appointment and I'm going out, so let me show you to the door. Well, goodbye now, Corporal. I'm glad you could come down. Feel free to come back anytime. >> Thank you very much, Mr. Schilling. >> Goodbye now. >> Goodbye. Good morning, Lieutenant. >> Good morning. >> Lieutenant Kilby, isn't it? >> Right, sir. I see you're right on time for our appointment. >> Right, sir. Uh what can I do for you? >> I'd like to find out how I can go about starting my college education. Fine, won't you come into the office? >> Thank you. Have a seat, Lieutenant. Thank you. By the way, what organization are you with? >> I'm with the Third Armored Cavalry Regiment. Tell me, have you had any college at all? No, sir. I was drafted in the Army 3 years ago right after I got out of high school, and I've since decided to stay in the Army. I just got out of OCS before coming here. I see. I think your first step would be to take the USAFI college level general educational development test, which we give right here. The test is going on now. It's a test to tell whether you've actually picked up enough knowledge to qualify you for first-year college equivalency. It will determine whether you should be considered for college credit. After that, there are several ways in which you may begin your college work. One is to take USAFI courses, which generally go up through the first 2 years of college, and which are generally accepted by most colleges and universities for credit. But, there is another and better way if you're going to be settled here for a while, and that's to attend the University of Maryland. I don't believe I follow you, sir. Well, the University of Maryland offers courses right here on the post. Oh, I see. The classes are held at night, three nights a week, and they will give you just about everything you need to start your college work. This is part of a cooperative plan between the Army and American universities. Here at Fort Meade, it's the University of Maryland. But, if you were at some other camp, you'd probably be able to enroll >> [music] >> in some other university be same way. For almost all Army camps in this country are located near some college or university. And almost all those institutions cooperate with the Army by offering college courses to the soldiers right on the post. Another important point, Lieutenant, this isn't even going to cost you very much. The Army feels that it's so important for you to get a college education in order that you may do your job better, that it will pay a part of your tuition fees. Now, let's look at the catalog and see what you should take. The University of Maryland conducts college [music] courses for Army personnel not only at Fort Meade, but also at Army posts throughout Europe. So, even overseas, American soldiers may attend courses given by American universities. The American college campus today reaches as far as the lines of the American Army reach. Economics and a college survey of American literature have an authentic campus flavor wherever they are taught. Whether in the famed and hallowed old halls of Heidelberg, a building in the Canal Zone where Louisiana State University is the cooperating university, or an educational center in Tokyo. Throughout the Far East, soldiers are enrolled and studying through the University of California. The schoolhouse in the Army may be any shape and any size. But, it's always right around the corner. Enrollment [music] is easy. And wherever there is the will to learn, there are the tools for study. The Army educates not only its own, but also the children of its personnel overseas, in both the elementary grades and high school. In classrooms, on playgrounds, in Japan, in Germany, and wherever else the Army is stationed, >> [music] >> American youngsters carry on their education. Their teachers meet regular American educational standards. The system of classroom instruction, and even the habit of homework, are the same as those in schools back home. But, in addition to the basic educational standards, these students abroad are acquiring an invaluable background in human relations, through the opportunity provided them to absorb new cultures. The desire for knowledge is one of the marks of man's nobility. If it is strength which keeps our nation free today, it is enlightenment which gives that freedom meaning. The Army, whose stock [snorts] in trade is strength, puts faith in that quality of its men, which makes good citizens and good soldiers alike. The desire to learn and to improve. To do its best by its citizen soldiers, the Army encourages their educational development on every level. A soldier masters the fundamental tools of learning and is salvaged from illiteracy. Another soldier receives from his high school the diploma he has earned by taking USAFI courses. And overseas, a group of soldiers receive their college diplomas after years of serious study in the army. And each time a prize of value is won, the army wins a more valuable soldier, and the nation wins a more valuable citizen. From the most elementary level of grammar school to a college education, along this path of education, thousands of soldiers in your army are traveling today toward a better future for themselves and for us all. This is Sergeant Stuart Queen inviting you to be with us again next week for another look at The Big Picture, the United States Army in Action. The Big Picture is a weekly television report to the nation [music] on the activities of the army at home and overseas, produced by the Signal Corps Pictorial Center. Presented by the US Army in cooperation with this station. You can be an important part of The Big Picture. You can proudly serve with a best equipped, the best trained, the best fighting team in the world today, the United States Army. >> [snorts] >> Oh, yeah, I programmed that not thinking about current headlines. Sorry about that. Uh okay. Uh this film is had has what we call color breathing issues where kind of the center of the film fades, which is really weird. And it it's a supposedly low fade stock, so it's some sort of chemical thing that's going on. I'm not sure what it is. I I've seen it with different collections. So, it's not one specific collection. It seems like the manufacturer bought a bad batch. I don't know. Anyways, this is I Am Joe's Kidney, brought to us by the fine folks at Reader's Digest. Enjoy. >> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] >> That's Joe, an average guy. He has a good job, a wife, children, and a nice home. I'm a part of Joe, an important part, although he doesn't realize that yet. Something will will today that will make him more aware of me for the rest of his life. I am Joe's kidney. >> [music] >> I'm Joe's right kidney, and placed a little lower in Joe's body than my partner on the left side of Joe's spine. That's probably to make room for my largest neighbor, the liver. I weigh 5 oz. I'm about the size of Joe's fist, and I'm shaped like a bean. Need I say kidney bean? Joe's body is normal, but in some humans, the kidneys may be different sizes or shapes or in other locations. Unusual as that is, those kidneys may still function as well as I do. Fact is, I can't do without Joe, but he can do without me. Yes, many people get along very well with one kidney. I'll talk about that later. I do my job quietly and without fuss, working away 24 hours a day. And to each and every hour, my partner and I process about 15 times the total blood volume in Joe's body. [music] And I'm thought of as merely a producer of an unglamorous fluid, urine. Kind [music] of secondary disposal unit. Actually, I'm the master chemist in Joe's [music] body, and his intestinal tract is not his main waste disposal system. I am. Let me tell you how I function. Principal challenge of my job is to filter and clean Joe's [music] blood, eliminating wastes that are potentially deadly, and returning to his bloodstream the elements that are essential to his health and well-being. Inside my protective covering I contain more than a million little units called nephrons, >> [music] >> my main tools for filtering Joe's blood. Under a high-powered microscope, a nephron [music] looks like a big-headed worm with a twisted tail called a tubule or small tube. Untangle my tubules and they would stretch across more than a dozen golf courses laid end to end. Joe's blood enters me through the renal, that's kidney, artery and my processing plant takes [music] over. Red blood cells and large particles of essential proteins are not allowed to pass through [music] my fine filters. They are returned to the bloodstream. Otherwise, they would be lost in the urine with calamitous results. Essential vitamins, amino acids, glucose, hormones, and other vital elements are also returned to the bloodstream, but the excess of any of them is passed through to the urine. So, you see, thinking of me as primarily a maker of urine is way off the mark. About 99% of all the fluid I process is reabsorbed into the bloodstream. [music] However, the small amounts of excess that I do turn into urine are of vital importance. This amounts to about a quart a day each for my partner and me. >> [music] >> Microscopic droplets of this waste-filled fluid pass out of each of my million tubules and feed into a tiny reservoir at my center. Then it makes its way to my urine exit, the ureter. This is a tube that extends down to Joe's bladder. And that's a kind of storage tank where urine remains until it's time to be expelled. When Joe urinates, the muscles surrounding the bladder are activated with wave-like motions, and the urine is expelled through the final exit channel called the urethra. As I work, [music] I must keep a sharp lookout for a big bad guy I know, urea. >> [music] >> Urea is the end product of protein consumption and must be controlled precisely. Too little results from damage to my upstairs neighbor, the liver. Too much results in one of the ugliest diseases any doctor is apt [music] to see, uremic poisoning. The name simply means urine in the blood. Unchecked, it can lead to sickness, coma, and death. Here again, though, as long as I'm healthy and at work, Joe can eat all the steak and high-protein [music] foods he likes, and I'll handle that villainous urea. Other elements demand [music] my constant attention, such as potassium, mainly from meat and fruit juices. Too little potassium, and muscles begin to fail, particularly breathing [music] muscles. A pinch too much acts as a restriction on the heart and can bring it to a full halt. If Joe's diet isn't providing enough essential potassium, I manage the existing supply like a miser. Joe has noticed that certain things step up my activities, but he doesn't know why. Anger. >> [music] >> Intense stress, trauma, or other situations that cause a rise in blood pressure give me increased blood supply to process. This can increase the urine output. Alcohol. Most people associate greater alcohol intake, liquid in, with stepped-up urine production, liquid out. But, it's more complicated than that. Left to my own devices, I might produce too much urine. However, there is a gland on the underside of Joe's brain, the pituitary gland, that produces a hormone which controls my process. When Joe drinks a beer or martini, the alcohol blocks this hormone, stepping up my activity. And he may crave a glass of water in the morning because he becomes dehydrated. Let him eat a big portion of anchovies or any other extremely salty food, [music] and he would be in real danger if I didn't extract the salt. Salt holds water. And if it were permitted to remain in the blood, Joe's face, feet, and abdomen would puff up. Eventually, his heart, pumping against gallons of [music] retained fluid, might simply falter and stop. To exaggerate a little, if Joe should eat a whole custard pie, I would process excess sugar to the extent that a doctor testing Joe's urine might suspect him of having diabetes. >> [music] >> Caffeine from coffee also steps up my urine activity. But, the nicotine in cigarettes has the opposite effect. It acts as a blood vessel constrictor, decreasing the flow of blood. And if Joe smoked heavily, he would [music] need to urinate far less frequently. Joe is enjoying himself, and I can't warn him. But, it will happen soon. Like Joe, I am now 47 years old and beginning to show my age. I'm a candidate for a lot of ailments. Among the least of these is the floating kidney, which Joe would probably think of as my partner and I going swimming all over Joe's body. Well, simply put, I rest in a bed of fat. And if Joe were obese, thankfully he's not, and he experienced a dramatic weight loss, much of that bed would disappear. The anchoring tissues would stretch, causing me to drift a bit. Nothing serious. Also, I Oh. >> [music] >> Joe is experiencing the most excruciating pain he has ever felt in his life. The pain radiates from his lower back up and around to his groin. I'm the cause of it. But Joe doesn't know that. In his pain and confusion, he can think of only one thing. Help. A quick call to his doctor. The doctor will meet him at the hospital. >> The doctor gives Joe a pain reliever [music] and quickly determines that Joe has typical kidney colic pain. The source of his trouble >> [music] >> is me. Tests are ordered for more specific information. A urinalysis, a blood test, an x-ray. Nothing for Joe to do now but wait and hurt and think. He's thinking about me. Not in very pleasant terms, I'm afraid. What am I doing to him? What am I going to do? If Joe were knowledgeable about affairs of the kidney, he would be terrified by the range [music] of possible afflictions. There are kidney faults that are congenital, that is from birth. These might include the abnormal shapes, sizes, and locations I talked about before, or even a tendency to develop cysts or small tumors. This is not Joe's problem, since none of the above would cause his intense [music] pain. Inflammation and infection are two fearsome words for kidneys. Inflammation of my delicate filters, the nephrons, could mean pain. This would be caused by infection, usually creeping up from the urinary tract below. Fortunately, most minor infections are usually promptly controlled by antibiotics. But, there is a serious complication commonly called Bright's disease. [music] It can cause elevation of blood pressure, uremia, and swelling of the face and ankles due to fluid retention. The puffiness is called edema, also referred to as [music] dropsy. This condition is acute nephritis and is mainly a disease of childhood. But fortunately, if adequately managed, complete recovery can be expected for affected persons of any age. Joe's present [music] symptoms rule out this diagnosis. Injuries from a kidney punch [music] or an accident, for example, also pose the same kind of danger for my [music] delicate filters as do drugs and poisons. In fact, there is growing evidence that drugs of many types are increasingly frequent causes of kidney inflammation and damage, [music] even though infection is not involved. Since none of these problems apply to Joe at the moment, the doctor can pass [music] them by. Of course, the ever-growing range of scientific knowledge and the best medical skills have limits. And should my condition reach a point where it threatens Joe's life, then I would have to be eliminated. This is a serious procedure, but the hope for Joe to live a full and normal life without me would be high. That's because my healthy partner, his remaining kidney, is quite capable of carrying on and handling [music] the full job of processing Joe's blood. Proof of this? There are many [music] thousands of people today who live normal, productive lives with only one kidney. If, however, both my partner and I [music] place Joe in a life-threatening position, then he would be a candidate for a kidney transplant. You see, one of us has to be healthy to keep [music] Joe functioning. Kidney transplants have been very successful, and this past year in the United States alone, more than [music] 5,000 people received transplants. But sadly, more than 10,000 [music] people were waiting for transplants. Why? There's a serious shortage of suitable donors. A simple request to the local kidney foundation for information and an organ donor card could make it possible for me to be transplanted after Joe dies. In that way, I'd continue to function and keep someone else [music] alive. Think about it. But what about those thousands of people who are waiting for transplants? And thousands of others with serious renal failure who cannot [music] have transplants. One of the great strides in kidney therapy in the 20th century is the development of the artificial kidney, or dialysis machine. This past year in the United States alone, almost 70,000 people with what is called end-stage renal failure have depended on dialysis to stay alive. Should my Joe require dialysis, [music] he would be attached to the machine which would take over my duties. Simply put, Joe's blood supply would be passed through a cleansing mechanism, then fed back into his body, bypassing my partner and me. This is a painless procedure [music] that usually has to be performed two or three times a week for about 4 hours each time, depending on the patient and condition. Even here, our scientists are making great progress, developing and testing more efficient dialysis methods, smaller, portable machines, for instance, and even a procedure where a cleansing solution is introduced into a patient's abdomen to wash impurities from the body. But back to Joe and his present troubles. Of course, I know what's causing him that pain. It's kidney colic, brought about by calculus, the medical term for kidney stones. Joe's doctor is explaining the results of his tests. The x-ray show that Joe has a kidney stone about the size of a small green pea lodged in and stretching my exquisitely sensitive ureter, the passage to the [music] bladder. That causes the great pain, and the blockage simply shuts down my operation. "How serious is this?" Joe wants to know. It's serious, but not life-threatening, since my healthy partner will carry the full workload until my problem is cleared up. If that stone were to be left unattended, infection could result from the lack of urine [music] drainage, and that would be deadly serious. The doctor carefully describes the procedure to be used and does his best to put Joe's fears at rest. >> [music] >> Waiting for relief seems interminable and despite the doctor's words, Joe is [music] apprehensive. Maybe scared is a better word. But that's only normal. If I could talk to Joe right now, it might make him feel better to know more about one of the most common of kidney ailments. I'd tell him that an average of one out of every 1,000 residents in the United States alone has been hospitalized for urinary stones. But very rarely have [music] any of these cases resulted in death either directly or indirectly. The makeup of kidney stones is mostly calcium combined with other elements. But the way they take form is largely unknown. When ammonium is also present [music] in the stones, the problem is complicated by infection. Stones grow to all shapes and sizes, as small as sand or gravel which would pass without notice. Or in rare cases, a [music] stone in the bladder could attain the size of a grapefruit. Of course, surgery would then be required. No age group is spared. [music] Stones can be found in children. But the prime age group is between 20 and 55 years of age. Most stones originate in the kidneys. But occasionally, they may be formed in the ureter. Or the bladder. Smaller stones which remain [music] in the kidney could stay a lifetime without causing trouble. But when they move on to the ureter, as in Joe's case, trouble [music] is imminent. Or in unusual cases, stones can remain in the kidney and grow, even becoming [music] connected into one ominous mass. These are referred to as staghorns because they look like deer antlers >> [music] >> and they must be removed surgically. The procedure to remove Joe's kidney stone is underway. He's been taken to the operating room and given a general anesthetic. The urologist uses an instrument called a cystoscope, through which he will be able to see the entire process. This he inserts in Joe's urethra, through the bladder to the kidney stone. He then employs a small basket-like device, which is inserted along the route of the cystoscope into the ureter. The stone is snared and ever so gently dislodged, brought down into the bladder, then out through the urethra. The operation is complete and successful. While Joe is sleeping, I might tell you about other methods of removing kidney stones. There is, of course, surgery, where the urologist can go in, cut into the ureter, and remove the stone surgically. This would become necessary if factors ruled out other procedures. If the stone is too big or damage to the kidney too great, he may need [music] to remove the entire kidney, but this is highly unusual. The doctor can also crush the stone with [music] instruments, then flush out the fragments. A more recent method allows the urologist to go in with a cystoscope, then introduce a small fiber optic instrument, which comes in direct contact with a stone. This instrument conducts ultrasound waves and when turned on, the sound waves pulverize the stone. >> The fragments are then flushed out. There are, of course, other methods of kidney stone removal constantly being developed and tested by scientists around the [music] world. When Joe awakens in his room, he is drowsy but greatly relieved. [music] In a day or two, he'll go home and within days, he'll return to work. >> [music] [music] [music] [music] >> Well, this crisis has passed. Joe is relieved and I'll be functioning normally in no time. I have striking regenerative powers. But I'll bet he thinks more about me in the future, as well he should. You see, as Joe gets older, my arteries become less elastic. [music] My blood supply is reduced and some of my nephrons are destroyed. I then begin to fall down on my job of laundering Joe's blood. The good news is that my partner and I have a big reserve capacity and can do a [music] pretty good job even if 90% of our nephrons stop functioning. This does mean, however, that Joe should take better care of himself in [music] the future. If I could talk to him, I'd say, "Watch your weight, Joe. >> [music] >> Keep your blood pressure within normal limits. Exercise, but sensibly. Drink an extra glass of water or so a day. Most people drink too little fluid. But most of all, get a yearly checkup. The urinalysis and blood test will soon tell the doctor if I need attention. I'm not asking Joe to dwell on me or to fret about [music] me, not at all. I'm one of the quietest, hardest working, most efficient organs in Joe's body. And with a little careful thought >> [music] >> and thoughtful care, Joe and I will live a long, productive, and healthy life. >> [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [music] [bell] [music] [music] >> I wish that uh Kame Bride was on uh the comments because uh he is from Nashville or he's he lives in Nashville. I don't know he's from there, but Anyhow, uh there were some great graphics in there and how how um Landon and you know, Barty Miller uh how Landon does a lot of uh um narration for some educational films that I have, so I'm not surprised. He also did a lot of voiceover work for commercials and such. Thanks for watching today. I appreciate your eyeballs. You can support us by uh giving us a thumbs up, uh subscribing if you haven't subscribed yet. Uh you can also donate via the Super Thanks button. Go to patreon.com/avgeeks or kofi.com/avgeeks. So, uh tonight um on VCR Party with Found Footage Festival, I am a guest and we pre-recorded last night and so I know what happens um and I'm just going to say right now no, I am not going to show that film that I showed George that I didn't show anybody else. It's not going to happen. Nope. Not on a late night AV Geeks. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. It was for George's eyes only. So, I'm just going to leave it at that. Anyways, >> [laughter] >> everybody have a great rest of your day and we will see you soon. Love you guys so much. Thank you. Bye.