Writing A Good Paragraph (1963)

[Music] [Applause] Eddie you can do better than this you know that there's more to writing a good paragraph than just putting together a few related sentences think you'd better read that chapter again on paragraphs in your text and then rewrite this [Applause] composition so rewrite it Eddie I'm sure Mrs Marshall covered how to write paragraphs in qu guess I wasn't paying much attention when she did I'm not sure what to do well here look at what she says I know paragraphs weak in unity transitions poor but I still don't know what to do would you like a little help if you got the time okay well I could tell you what's wrong but wait a minute let me just read the first paragraph to you what are you doing I'm looking for a photograph of Dad here it is this will help you picture the sentences okay go ahead camping with Dad I've wanted to go camping with Dad as long as I can remember that's the topic sentence my older brother Stan was never interested in camping trips dad's business is sporting good so he has all the equipment needed for camping during the past few years dad's Sporting Goods business kept him too busy to go before that dad usually went in late fall when I was in school and couldn't go along even before I started school I wanted to go camping but then I was too young but last year when Dad hired another salesman he was able to take time off in the summer and take me camping that's how I finally got to go camping with Dad it's kind of mixed up isn't it you know why because sentences in a paragraph need a logical order and if they don't have it they just don't make good sense what are you doing I'm going to put time to work in your paragraph time that's right remember your topic sentence I've wanted to go on a camping trip with Dad as long as I can remember well here you are over a period of time as long as you can remember now I'm going to rearrange the sentences of your paragraph and maybe drop a few and use time to hold them all together even before I started school I wanted to go camping but then I was too young then when I was old enough dad usually went in late fall when I was in school and couldn't go along during the past few years his Sporting Goods business has kept him too busy to go but last year when Dad hired another salesman he was able to take time off in the summer and take me camping that was how I finally got to go camping with Dad now do you see how time held those sentences together I think so there was a certain order in the way the sentences developed I got a little older in each sentence that's right time gave Unity to the paragraph and unity is what we're after of course you don't always want to use time for Unity let's try something [Applause] else now in this paragraph you could try using space do you mean like outer space no I mean the location of the things you're writing about in your paragraph for instance you could write about the nearest things first and the farthest things last okay I'll try it now here's the topic sentence we chose the ideal spot for camping now what did the place look like here take a look at that oh thanks it was a clearing with trees all around wait a minute Eddie these words aren't doing anything for you they should really give a clear picture of the scene well I'll try it again it was a broad open area of soft grass and wild flowers all around were high trees part of a dense forest that's fine now go ahead and don't forget to keep space in mind the nearby trees would provide us with all the wood we needed for our campfire a short distance away a clear stream flowed through the forest we hoped its cold Waters would be filled with trout how's that for unifying a paragraph with space pretty good do you think you could do as well using contrast you mean showing how two things are different that's right here's your taffic sentence getting up in the morning at Camp is quite different from getting up at home now you take it from there okay at home it's the Ring of the alarm clock that jars you awake while at Camp your alarm clock is the sun shining through the trees and the sound of birds chirping the soft cotton rug you step onto at home becomes en Camp a soft carpet of grass with do at home you have all the water you need hot and cold at Camp you have all the water you need too but it all seems to come from the North Pole it's pretty good but let's finish the contrast idea differences such as these make camping you go ahead and take it make camping an exciting change from your usual way of life that was pretty good huh Stan pretty good Eddie yeah you see there are actually many ways to unify a paragraph but you've got to pick out the one way which works out best for each of your paragraphs and gives it some variety too thanks Dan could I use the desk yeah sure go ahead uh but wait a minute Mrs Marshall criticized Unity but uh what about transitions oh that's right transitions you mean between paragraphs that's right you see a good transition helps you reader follow you smoothly from one paragraph to the next you want him to keep track of the big idea that you're trying to develop and you want to hold his interest too I guess so here let me see if I can find an example here's the ending of one of your paragraphs so at last the trout was in our net now here's the first sentence of the next paragraph cooking Outdoors is one of the joys of camping you see there's no clear relationship between the two paragraphs but there should be see they're both about trout catching trout and cooking trout see right but why not let the reader know it too let's use the word trout to carry the reader smoothly from one paragraph to the next it's like this so at last the trout was in our net we cooked the trout over an open fire or how about after the trout was caught we looked forward to cooking it that's fine too repeating key words or phrases or ideas is just one way of going smoothly from one paragraph to another but you can't always repeat something and sometimes you just don't want to so what do you do ever heard this meanwhile back at the ranch sure well meanwhile is a word that can give you a transition from one paragraph to the next there are lots of words and phrases like that on the other hand however therefore consequently in a like Manner and so that's right you've got the idea I'm going to reread the chapter Mrs Marshall told me to then I think I'll be ready to rewrite well if you remember to develop your paragraphs logically I will now and if you remember to use transitions for going smoothly from one paragraph to another then you're on your way and I don't want to forget time space or contrast yeah there are many other Unity devices that are just as good you'll probably find them all in your English book how sure you pay a little better attention in class and you won't have all that trouble you've got a point there now you get to work and remember writing good paragraphs isn't easy it takes time and thought but good paragraphs help you communicate with your reader and after all isn't that the purpose in writing that's what Mrs Marshall says thanks Dan I guess I'll do all right now