When's The Big Day? (1975)

[Music] hey it's your party aren't you going to welcome your guests you're the man of the house why don't you answer it well Welcome to our Humble Home you guys this great man bet you guys are hiding from us or something oh yeah I'm sorry about that I uh car was answering the door I thought I wow is beautiful look at those curtains uh Carol we've got company all right I'm coming hey Carol something smells great in there hi [Music] GE yeah why don't you get some wine Parton it's just unbelievable what you've done with it oh it's just some old stuff from those funky places on Canal Street see Alan you don't have to have a lot of money to make it look nice well listen you don't have to persuade me Carol this got to be the best cake I've ever had in my life the whole meal how do you keep your job and cook like this too he you guys are embarrassing me well uh maybe you can give old door some uh lessons Okay yeah Carol I'm going to need all the help I can get at what do you guys do we like this every night well maybe not every night no actually we're just putting on a big show for you and Dory a kind of demonstration of how you can keep the honeymoon going right on into the second year Mike's trying to be funny not funny at all it's going to be kind of tragic around here in seven or eight months we may not be eating at all unless of course I quit school and get a job I mean if I can find a job hey you guys aren't going to have a baby are you well Carol is yeah wow wow that's really a surprise I know exactly how you feel you don't know how anybody feels you don't care either you'll have to forgive my wife she hasn't been feeling well you make it sound like you're apologizing for me you're the one who started it wasn't it him didn't he start it no what the hell do you expect him to say to that hey look I'm sorry we got no right to do this to you guys no it's all right these things happen and uh listen uh it's getting late and we can get together some other time I mean you guys will work this all out hey Lan don't leave yet um how about helping me in the kitchen okay sure I I just don't believe it you know after I finished school we were going to travel Europa maybe Africa we even set up a special savings account after a year and a half you know how much we've saved $28 35 you can't expect to save money while you're still in school when this baby comes in out of left field hey man later on you might even be glad about it later were you even supposed to have a kid till later maybe it wasn't conscious and all but she well Carol could have prevented this if she'd wanted to I mean um I guess I'll never really know for sure she hey Mike I really don't think I want to hear about that man I'm sorry you're Ryan guess we laid enough on you guys for one night huh little more wine no thanks can't blame you but um what can you expect for [Music] $139 you know my parents yelled at each other for 5 years without a break finally got a divorce man I knew I absolutely knew it was never going to be like that with me you know at first it all seems so easy after a while you really got to work at it uh just leave them it doesn't matter no really I kind of like doing dishes you'll get over it know I can wait for him to get home I actually thought he'd be happy when when I told him maybe he just needs a little time Carol to get used to the idea you're thinking of Allan and how he'd act if you were going to have a baby you know what Mike said he said you're just a baby yourself and now you're going to have a baby he was just you know surprised and upset he's the baby he's jealous Dory he's jealous of my baby mayy he doesn't even want me to have it he didn't say that did he no he didn't actually say it in so many words that's not his way no he just kept building up to it you've got to think of all the Alternatives stuff like that then stopping hoping I'd be the one to say it couldn't you guys go and talk to somebody about it Alan do yourself a favor wait wait a long time listen we have waited we've waited since we were 14 years old yeah I remember my brother told me to wait too but I guess you never really take other people's advice I don't know maybe you'll be different for you guys maybe you at least know each other well enough that you'll be able to talk to each other when things get rough hey you sure you don't want any more of this Veno Cheapo no thanks man last chance no go ahead you know what I think I think you're saying a lot of bad things and well later on you guys will get it all together again and you'll be sorry you know I wish that were true come on Carol hey you want a Pepsi or something sure that'd be great I'll go see if Mike and Allen want one okay hey uh look I'm sorry we put you guys through all that stuff hey man don't apologize I mean when you're with friends you got to expect him to act natural right listen now we'll do it again real soon uh next time it'll be different I promise hey Dory I forgot to ask when's the big day oh well we haven't decided yet but as soon as we do you guys will be the first to know I mean you guys have to be there just like we were at yours hey Carol really that that really was the best dinner ever I mean it that's an insult to your mother yeah and to me too I've cooked him a few meals you know but never again well listen seriously it was great yeah it really was well we'll see you good night you guys yeah bye good night good night I thought we'd never get out of there I know I like them both I really like them but Carol kept trying to make me take sides yeah what'd she tell you that I should think twice about getting married what I couldn't tell her was we have so much more going for us than they ever had Mike said we should wait like practically forever what' you say well what I couldn't tell him was that I'm not marrying Carol I'm marrying you despite all the talk about the decline of the family marriage is still a very po popular institution the divorce rate though has climbed to nearly one in three Nationwide and is even higher for those who marry in their teens and early 20s why do so many young marriages fail do young people have special Illusions which reality and experience are likely to shatter is money the big problem as Mike seems to think in the film or are there deeper problems which he and Carol aren't facing what would you say that they expect from each other that neither feels the other is giving do men and women have basically different expectations for marriage what do you have to feel to make a permanent commitment to someone can you trust that feeling to last or must the honeymoon eventually end and if it does what other values must be found in the relationship if it's to continue many psychologists say that when you really love someone you care for his or her welfare as much as or more than your own you agree with that or do you think it's unrealistic how early in life should a person commit to a relationship that involves sacrifices and responsibilities before that is it valuable to reserve a period of your life to be relatively self-centered is self- knowledge better gained alone or through constant intimate involvement with another person the divorce rate continues to rise there are fewer and fewer legal and social barriers to divorce why do you think this is happening is it a good or a bad thing when do you think a couple should divorce when should they seek help and try to make it work for