Up the Chastity Belt

Eleanor of Aquitaine gave birth to twin sons – Lurkalot first and then Richard. But the nobles of the country – led by Sir Braggart de Bombast – stole him away and abandoned him in a forest to die. He was raised by a family of pigs who belonged to Sir Coward de Custard who took him in as a serf. Richard is bored by ruling England and decides to go on a crusade. Meanwhile Richard has had to flee to England following an ignoble episode with his German woman.